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Billboard, Bodies , and Children: arminarlerted story time: i taught my little cousin her first longer word when she was very young. i taught her to say "tax benefits. and to this day my aunt still doesn't know where she got it from, but it was a hilarious sight to see a little toddler waddling around the house, wearing a big diaper, all the while yelling TAX BENEFITS!!!I osmanthusoolong My parents did this with me and "nuclear disarmament bradkey I taught my little brother to say micro-surgical vasectomy reversal" (saw it on a billboard) on a road trip, and he didn't stop saying it for literal years. missvoltairine My parents taught me to chant "Get your laws off our bodies!" for a pro-choice rally when I was like four and I went to preschool and taught all the other kids the chant and led them on a mini-parade around the playground and the teachers were like ?????????? ?????????? ???????????? blossomfae whenever my brother threw a tantrum as a baby my parents would chant live free or die" until he calmed down it was fuckin weird lornacrowley when i was a kid whenever we got stuck in traffic my dad would say "what the fuck?1? in a very comic voice and i would repeat it and then he would say it with a slightly different inflection and i would repeat that too and so forth and so basically my poor mother would be stuck in standstill traffic listening to her husband and 4 yr old daughter swearing at each other without end waspabi i'm a preschool teacher and we like to joke around using radical vocabulary with the children, the other day i overheard one kid say this is my truck and the other one said 'no, this truck belongs to the collective they all say it now haledamage whenever anyone picks up my daughter or she goes upstairs, she announces "I ASCEND it's the best thing I ASCEND
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Animals, Beautiful, and Crying: AN AVERAGE SATURDAY MORNING: WITH KIDS VS. WITHOUT KID WITH KIDS TIME WITHOUT KIDS Time to get up! Someone peed 6:00 You won't be getting up for 5 through his diaper and now your bed is covered in urine more You change a diaper and try to get the kid to sleep a little longer but now the he's yelling zoo animals and doing flips on the 6:30 You made some breakfast for your child, but today he decided he hates eggs. He's saying he wants "scrims" but you don't know what that means. He won't explain and just keeps yelling "scrims" louder and louder 7:00 Your pillow got a little warm so you turn it over and go back to You've now watched the same episode of Spongebob four times. One time you tried to change it over to the news and your kid shoved a spoon in the Tranquil visions dance in your 8:00 O0 head as the sweet embrace of slumber engulfs your resting body You attempt to take a shower but your kid keeps throwing can openers into the tub. You weren't aware that you hacd multiple can openers An angel comes down and gently kisses your forehead. Sleep well, sweet prince 8:30 You walk upstairs to your room, but didn't realize your kid was using the stairs as a stunt zone for Hot Wheels and you slip on one and nearly die as you tumble back down to the A hummingbird perches itself outside your window and sings a sweet lullaby. He blows you a kiss and soars away 9:00 You try to finally go to the bathroom, but forgot to lock the door so now your kid is crying because you won't let him dump sand in your lap. He dumps it on the dog instead. The sand was actually used cat litter You wake briefly to adjust your sleep number. (You bought an adjustable bed with all the disposable income you have from not having a kid.) 9:30 You hear laughter, which is almost more terrifying than crying. You walk in the living room to see your kid making 10:00 S Still sleeping soundly, like a puppy in front of a crackling snow angels in glue. There's no way you're getting your deposit back with a giant glue angel in the middle of the carpet Your kid doses off and you try to catch up on your favorite show You stir a little and check your texts. Your friend wants to go to brunch later. That sounds nice 30 more minutes of sleep and you'll get ready for that. Maybe go to mall later or ride go-karts Unfortunately, six minutes into it 10:30 there's a dramatic moment where the music builds and your kid is now wide-awake. (Screw You get everyone loaded into the car to go to the zoo, even though it's 90 degrees and so humid taxidermy is coming back to life. Your kid yells a racial slur he heard in a movie. Out of all the words he's heard, that's the only one that stuck. You wake up feeling refreshed and beautiful. You know what? It's Saturday. Let's just lie in the bed a while and watch a movie 11:00 srsfunny:Saturdays With Kids Vs. Without Kids

srsfunny:Saturdays With Kids Vs. Without Kids

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Billboard, Bodies , and Children: arminarlerted story time: i taught my little cousin her first longer word when she was very young. i taught her to say tax benefits. and to this day my aunt still doesn't know where she got it from, but it was a hilarious sight to see a little toddler waddling around the house, wearing a big diaper, all the while yelling TAX BENEFITS!!!! osmanthusoolong My parents did this with me and "nuclear disarmament" bradkey I taught my little brother to say "micro-surgical vasectomy reversal (saw it on a billboard) on a road trip, and he didn't stop saying it for literal years missvoltairine My parents taught me to chant "Get your laws off our bodies!" for a pro-choice rally when I was like four and I went to preschool and taught all the other kids the chant and led them on a mini-parade around the playground and the teachers were like ?????????? ?????????? ?2?????????? blossomfae whenever my brother threw a tantrum as a baby my parents would chant live free or die" until he calmed down it was fuckin weird lornacrowley when i was a kid whenever we got stuck in traffic my dad would say what the fuck?!? in a very comic voice and i would repeat it and then he would say it with a slightly different inflection and i would repeat that too and so forth and so basically my poor mother would be stuck in standstill traffic listening to her husband and 4 yr old daughter swearing at each other without end waspabi i'm a preschool teacher and we like to joke around using radical vocabulary with the children, the other day i overheard one kid say this is my truck and the other one said 'no, this truck belongs to the collective they all say it now Kids have no concept of word meanings but they sure love the sounds they make
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Dumb, Food, and Fucking: Follow IHoe IHOP @IHOP flat but has a GREAT personality RETWEETS F AVORITES 385 381S 6:00 PM-18 Oct 2015 feels-by-the-foot: edgelowl102: This advertisement from IHOP’s certified Twitter account was taken down within hours of posting, and the company released an apology within two hours that read: “Earlier today we tweeted something dumb and immature that does not reflect what IHOP stands for. We’re sorry.” Referring to pancakes as flat is a perfectly normal claim. Applying personification to food is also commonplace in the social media marketing industry, as it lends a humorous personality to an otherwise boring corporate marketing campaign. The copywriter behind the post likely had innocent intentions and came up with this post using the same process he or she used for hundreds of other posts before it. However, this is a perfect example of a tasteless social media faux pas that created a severe backlash that did more harm than good to the brand’s public image.   The post itself personifies tastelessness more than anything else. By pairing a highly suggestive image with incredibly offensive copy, IHOP effectively told the world that they find misogyny humourous. The brand received the negative backlash of the highly sensitive collective voice of the Internet within minutes and business likely suffered accordingly. As far as I’m concerned, they deserved every inch of animosity they had thrown at them because of this blatant display of idiocy. And as a social media marketer myself, I’m offended that someone allowed this to be posted on an account as large as IHOP’s.   Why are feminists so weak? If you don’t like the joke, great, but some of us got a smile out of it. I’m eating at IHOP later because of this, for sure. They shouldn’t have to apologize.  “The brand received the negative backlash of the highly sensitive collective voice of the Internet within minutes”Boy howdy have you got that right. Get a fucking grip you offense-addicted diaper babies.
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Energy, Fuck You, and Fucking: I'm All In On This Guy Selling Energy Drinks Filled With Crystal Meth And Gasoline Out Of His Tree Fort Humor, News May 6, 2015 at 2:24 pm by Zach County Sherift's Office 72-year-old Jasper June, of Boone County, West Virginia was arrested on charges of making and selling his homemade energy drinks containing meth out of his tree fort. (A fucking tree fort, how great is this guy)? When police showed up, they found June wearing an adult diaper and browsing through an Arabic porno magazine. Police tested 25 bottles of his energy drink, each of which contained meth Police discovered June's practice after several high school girls had to be hospitalized for internal bleeding after consuming the drinks This is what June had to say about the drinks: They're just energy drinks like Rockstar or Monster. It's not meth in there. It's just lemonade, caffeine, sugar and a couple drops of gasoline. I swear to God I didn't put meth in there." He then back tracked and went with this version Okay, I put just a little meth in there to get them addicted and keep customers coming back. I know they'll all testify against me so let me make something else clear: I pissed in every bottle Well if there's one thing we know, it's that these energy drinks are gonna work. Nothing will get you jacked up like a little meth, gasoline, and human urine. Bottom line is when you buy a product, you want it to work. And if these little high school bitches want to run and be narks after purchasing a quality working energy drink for the bargain price of only 20 bucks, then I have no words. Plus, if you're them and you see this guy, selling this drink, and you still buy it, that's on you. I just love everything about Jasper June and his retail business. He read pornos in a foreign language while wearing his diaper, and when police ask about his product, he is adamant that there is no meth in there, only gasoline. And then when forced to confess, he throws a big fuck you in there and tells everyone these girls drank his piss too lcing on the cake PS- How perfect is this guy's name and where he's from? Jasper June from Boone County, West Virginia selling meth out of his tree fort. Energy drink made with gasoline, meth, lemonade and a little something special
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Energy, Fuck You, and Fucking: I'm All In On This Guy Selling Energy Drinks Filled With Crystal Meth And Gasoline Out Of His Tree Fort Humor, News May 6, 2015 at 2:24 pm by Zach County Sherift's Office 72-year-old Jasper June, of Boone County, West Virginia was arrested on charges of making and selling his homemade energy drinks containing meth out of his tree fort. (A fucking tree fort, how great is this guy)? When police showed up, they found June wearing an adult diaper and browsing through an Arabic porno magazine. Police tested 25 bottles of his energy drink, each of which contained meth Police discovered June's practice after several high school girls had to be hospitalized for internal bleeding after consuming the drinks This is what June had to say about the drinks: They're just energy drinks like Rockstar or Monster. It's not meth in there. It's just lemonade, caffeine, sugar and a couple drops of gasoline. I swear to God I didn't put meth in there." He then back tracked and went with this version Okay, I put just a little meth in there to get them addicted and keep customers coming back. I know they'll all testify against me so let me make something else clear: I pissed in every bottle Well if there's one thing we know, it's that these energy drinks are gonna work. Nothing will get you jacked up like a little meth, gasoline, and human urine. Bottom line is when you buy a product, you want it to work. And if these little high school bitches want to run and be narks after purchasing a quality working energy drink for the bargain price of only 20 bucks, then I have no words. Plus, if you're them and you see this guy, selling this drink, and you still buy it, that's on you. I just love everything about Jasper June and his retail business. He read pornos in a foreign language while wearing his diaper, and when police ask about his product, he is adamant that there is no meth in there, only gasoline. And then when forced to confess, he throws a big fuck you in there and tells everyone these girls drank his piss too lcing on the cake PS- How perfect is this guy's name and where he's from? Jasper June from Boone County, West Virginia selling meth out of his tree fort. Energy drink made with gasoline, meth, lemonade and a little something special via /r/funny https://ift.tt/2vsmhNE
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Energy, Fuck You, and Fucking: I'm All In On This Guy Selling Energy Drinks Filled With Crystal Meth And Gasoline Out Of His Tree Fort Humor, News May 6, 2015 at 2:24 pm by Zach County Sherift's Office 72-year-old Jasper June, of Boone County, West Virginia was arrested on charges of making and selling his homemade energy drinks containing meth out of his tree fort. (A fucking tree fort, how great is this guy)? When police showed up, they found June wearing an adult diaper and browsing through an Arabic porno magazine. Police tested 25 bottles of his energy drink, each of which contained meth Police discovered June's practice after several high school girls had to be hospitalized for internal bleeding after consuming the drinks This is what June had to say about the drinks: They're just energy drinks like Rockstar or Monster. It's not meth in there. It's just lemonade, caffeine, sugar and a couple drops of gasoline. I swear to God I didn't put meth in there." He then back tracked and went with this version Okay, I put just a little meth in there to get them addicted and keep customers coming back. I know they'll all testify against me so let me make something else clear: I pissed in every bottle Well if there's one thing we know, it's that these energy drinks are gonna work. Nothing will get you jacked up like a little meth, gasoline, and human urine. Bottom line is when you buy a product, you want it to work. And if these little high school bitches want to run and be narks after purchasing a quality working energy drink for the bargain price of only 20 bucks, then I have no words. Plus, if you're them and you see this guy, selling this drink, and you still buy it, that's on you. I just love everything about Jasper June and his retail business. He read pornos in a foreign language while wearing his diaper, and when police ask about his product, he is adamant that there is no meth in there, only gasoline. And then when forced to confess, he throws a big fuck you in there and tells everyone these girls drank his piss too lcing on the cake PS- How perfect is this guy's name and where he's from? Jasper June from Boone County, West Virginia selling meth out of his tree fort. Energy drink made with gasoline, meth, lemonade and a little something special
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