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Ass, Bad, and Crime: wait, you're jewish? i wanna die so bad right now -waaaaay too tall -blood is 3% soda -literally murders innocents and is still widely considered a "smol bean" -good relationship with their mom -hobbies range from making origami to plotting to blow up the moon -really their height is just unreasonable and very intimidating i heard you've been saying some shit grandparents live in korea -little ball of anger -uses napalm as moisturiser -no one is sure if they're actually racist or not thinks they can speak german -lists "kicking inanimate objects" as a hobby got sold fake cocaine once about me on your blog -damaged -iterally no one can bring themselves to like -communicates only in grunts -writes terrible fiction -goes out of their way to upset others -trying desperately to hide the gay (failing) -says shit like "adios" (doesn't speak spanish -leaves agressive voicemails -used to be emo -gets drunk and stabs inanimate objects -has an alien girlfriends and also 700 alter egos -is 103% sure that the world is out to get them way too many Ns little miss finland turns to camera in shock ADAM supreme gentleman -absolutely deplorable shoves an american flag up their ass most mornings takes selfies everywhere -everywhere i said loves their pets -finds depressive thinking arousing horrible handwriting tries. fails. -wants to be Wait, You're Jewish? but can't does rude shit but no one can stay -uses air quotes to patronise others -"feminism is stupid" -can't get laid -has probably had lip injections. and ego injections. "why do girls always go for douchebags" -wears sunglasses indoors. at night. in december. after the last star in the galaxy has burned out. mad at them -all gods are fictional except for themselfays gets asked for I.D. -makes fun of soccer moms but doesn't act hasn't taken a flattering photo in 7 -says weird shit 97% of the time -wears t-shirts with edgy slogans -has v few friends but the friendships they clasifies self as a "cool kid" will not get a haircut hasn't slept ever do have a frighteningly intense 56 brennan's burger bundies gets what they want because they are-worships satan -known as the zodiac killer -takes off their glasses and becomes ets morbid sense of humour that occasionally gets them in trouble wants to have you (over) for dinner behaves drunk while sober and also while drunk. -vastly overestimates their ability to get away with things -does absolutely nothing in a group project and no one gets mad -dog person -has brushed their teeth less than 7 times since birth probably borrowed their cheekbones off a meth addict -greasy grease on top of their grease jeffreysdrunk: luvoxxx: Okeeey so I don’t usually post stuff but a friend of mine asked me to make a true crime tag yourself and I thought tumblr might appreciate it. I have no idea why there’s like 400 typos in it I swear English is my first language wtf. Anyway it’s just a meme it’s not meant to be disrespectful or gross or anything please enjoy my completely unfunny sense of humour. (Also I blatantly stole the d a m a g e d thing from another tag yourself I apologise) I’m grandparents live in Korea and Dahmer lol Way too many Ns *turns to camera in shock* Adam
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Animals, Bad, and Cats: vet-and-wild The weird wavs l 've accidentally trained my cat to wake me up I can't stand animals that are obnoxious in the mornings when they want to get up and be fed. So, l've taken a pretty hard stance on ignoring obnoxious morning behavior to avoid reinforcing it. However, Garrus is a very fast learner, and he's noticed that there's a few things I'm really bad at ignoring. I've created the most bizarre alarm 1. Chowing on my phono oord. Ho only dooo it in tho morning when he wants me to get up. I've never seen him do it any other time. It's really hard for me to ignore my cat chewing on something plugged into an outlet. And so I have accidentally trained him to chew on it when I'm being stubborn and I don't want to get out of bed. Solution: unplug the phone and go back to sleep. 2. Swatting at my curtains. He likes to do it when he has the night zoomies and l'm trying to sleep instead of giving him attention. It's a really annoying sound. Like, REALLY annoying. And in my half-asleep state, my initial response was to grumble and tell him to knock it off. Didn't work so well for a cat that is doing an obnoxious behavior to get attention He didn't care that I was yelling at him-he was getting the attention he wanted. The one time l was just too exhausted to deal with him and didn't respond, he gave up pretty quickly. That'o whon I roalizod ho'd boon playing mo. Now I juot ignore it and he stops pretty fast. 3. Changing the temperature on my snake's HerpStat. I don't even know how he started this one, but one day I was lounging in my bed in the morning and I heard the HerpStat beeping like it does when the temp has been changed. And l panicked because I didn't want my snake being burnt to a crisp! Big mistake. My sudden movement out of bed reinforced Garrus, and for the next few days l'd wake up to beeping. I don't know if he was biting it, or nudging it, or what but my attempts to scold him only caused him to make happy "murrrrp" noises because I was acknowledging his presence. I have now placed the HerpStat in a high open drawer so he can't reach it. But I'm still kind of in shock that he learned to do this. Little punk. l think Pavlov is laughing at me clickercake Accidentally reinforced behaviors are an absolute riot clickerpunk Omg my mornings are EXACTLY like this. But my cat has discovered that if she scratches the floor i shoot out of bed because i dont want her peeing on the floor or something.. The moment i sit up in bed she goes "brrrp!" because im awake.. Damn smart cats Source: vet-and-wild 287 notes Cat training

Cat training

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