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thejorie: xilast-zurvifferman: thejorie: jackbecq: thejorie: 19leahjade96: thejorie: madamekagamine: thejorie: gccgrimm: thejorie: gucciballs: thejorie: peble: thejorie: My three girlfriends.And yes, they smoke weed. do they smoke weed? Yes, actually. you mean she isnt just smoking a cigarette? but a weed cigarette? It’s called a bunt…. Not weed cigarette… And yes, it is a weed bunt. They all smoke weed bunts before we kiss. (They are my girlfriends,) They don’t look like they smoke weed. Fuck You.Fuck You.Fuck You.Fuck You.Fuck You.Fuck You.Fuck You.Fuck You.Fuck You.Fuck You.Fuck You.Fuck You.I’m so angry you are so lucky my three weed smorking girlfriends are rubbing my shoulders to calm me down I’m so mad. Your “weed smoking girlfriend” has a Hello Kitty tattoo on her belly. The one in the middle. I printed out a photo of your avatar and taped it to my punching bag that I punch and I mutter your URL with every strong punch I punch you twerp…. Don’t ever Talk about Blaiz or the wicked Tat(tattoo) I drew on her ever again I Don’t wanna see you standing outside my home at 3 am holding your weird dripping brown bags ever again ok leave us alone this is the FINAL FUCKING WARNING  Well that escalated quickly…… What, was that? Hmm? Come again. *Blaiz grabs my shoulder* Come on Jory, they aren’t worth it, please. * I jerk my shoulder shaking her hand off* NO! NOOOOO!!! *starts to just pummel you with my big fucking fists. With each blow I let out a furious yell. The blows come quicker and harder and the yells get louder. I’m yelling so loud and now I’m crying. BREAKING POINT. The week was hard and I can’t take anymore. I’m opening sobbing at this point while you blood gurgle. All three of my girlfriends struggle to pull me off and they finally succeed and lead me away from the goo pile that is now your body* haha oh my god who even is this dude? someone needs some anger management classes. love how he keeps reminding us that “I HAVE THREE GIRLFRIENDS”, “THEY ALL KISS ME”, and “THEY SMOKE WEED HURRP DURR”. and let’s not forget the “Blaiz” and her “wicked tat”, or that he doesn’t “wanna see you standing outside [his] home at 3 am holding your weird dripping brown bags ever again”, and that this is “the FINAL FUCKING WARNING”. “the goo pile that is now your body” i’m dying over here, jesus please, Jory, come challenge me to a bout of internet witticsisms; i promise, it’ll be fun. *shoots you dead* Heh, idiot…*leaves with my three weed smorking girlfriends to go hold hands and kiss.* this dude playin omg  Come again? *The bar falls silent. No one dares to make a sound, as you have just said a very poor choice of words at a very dangerous time. I remain slumped over the bar, not looking back to you. One hand limply holding an almost empty bottle, the other hand cradling my head. I repeat the question, this time louder.* Come again?! *You can hear me slur the words, the sentence sounds like a real struggle for me to get out. I’m clearly intoxicated. A bead of sweat rolls down your face as you realize you might have just fucked up in a very major way. Everyone else in the bar is pretending to not notice what is going on. The bartender idly washes a mug with a cloth. His eyes are closed and he’s muttering something to himself. A handful of people hurriedly leave. One person looks back at you, a look of sorrow on their face. They almost say something, but shake their head and cast their eyes down to the floor, and leave. But not you. You stand, petrified. A quick look at me reveals I’m still  at the bar. You look to the exit, there’s still time. But there’s not, there’s not, there’s not. Your fate was sealed the moment you opened your mouth.* Mother fuck.. what did you say?! *I slowly rise from my stool and being to lumber over to you.  I look a mess. My hair is unkempt, I haven’t shaved in what looks like months, there are dark heavy bags under my eyes, my shirt is stained and has holes in it, and I’m missing a shoe. But the main thing you notice is the gun tucked into my jeans, and my massive muscle arms that look like they were made for punching. You know that song about the boots that were made for walking? Yeah, it’s like that only instead of boots it’s my muscles and instead of walking it’s punching. As I drunkenly sway over to you, you think of your family… Will they mourn you, or will they try and forget this blotch of stupidity, that their child insulted the Jory publicly, ever happened to their family? Your thoughts are cut short as I now stand face to face with you. I grab your face and pull you even closer.* Playin?! There was nothing playing… no playing you fuck. No playing… it was real.. the realest thing I’ve ever know.. felt… Love. I loved them… Blaiz…. Chas-Chas… Funk… I loved all three of em… but they…*My face is wet with tears and I’m blinking constantly in vain to hold them back.* They left me… left… *Almost instantly the sadness leaves my face and is replaced with pure anger.* Playin? Playin?! *My hand leaves your face and starts to head to what you think is the gun. You close your eyes and see God looking at you, shrugging. ‘Pft, you brought this upon yourself dude.’ He says as he waves his hands at you dismissively. But instead of the gun, my hands grab yours. Your eyes jolt open and the anger is gone from my face. There is only sadness.* Left me… * I fall to the floor and sob.*Wow, grow up. *You say before you leave the bar but are hit almost immediately from a car and are killed upon impact.* : thejorie: xilast-zurvifferman: thejorie: jackbecq: thejorie: 19leahjade96: thejorie: madamekagamine: thejorie: gccgrimm: thejorie: gucciballs: thejorie: peble: thejorie: My three girlfriends.And yes, they smoke weed. do they smoke weed? Yes, actually. you mean she isnt just smoking a cigarette? but a weed cigarette? It’s called a bunt…. Not weed cigarette… And yes, it is a weed bunt. They all smoke weed bunts before we kiss. (They are my girlfriends,) They don’t look like they smoke weed. Fuck You.Fuck You.Fuck You.Fuck You.Fuck You.Fuck You.Fuck You.Fuck You.Fuck You.Fuck You.Fuck You.Fuck You.I’m so angry you are so lucky my three weed smorking girlfriends are rubbing my shoulders to calm me down I’m so mad. Your “weed smoking girlfriend” has a Hello Kitty tattoo on her belly. The one in the middle. I printed out a photo of your avatar and taped it to my punching bag that I punch and I mutter your URL with every strong punch I punch you twerp…. Don’t ever Talk about Blaiz or the wicked Tat(tattoo) I drew on her ever again I Don’t wanna see you standing outside my home at 3 am holding your weird dripping brown bags ever again ok leave us alone this is the FINAL FUCKING WARNING  Well that escalated quickly…… What, was that? Hmm? Come again. *Blaiz grabs my shoulder* Come on Jory, they aren’t worth it, please. * I jerk my shoulder shaking her hand off* NO! NOOOOO!!! *starts to just pummel you with my big fucking fists. With each blow I let out a furious yell. The blows come quicker and harder and the yells get louder. I’m yelling so loud and now I’m crying. BREAKING POINT. The week was hard and I can’t take anymore. I’m opening sobbing at this point while you blood gurgle. All three of my girlfriends struggle to pull me off and they finally succeed and lead me away from the goo pile that is now your body* haha oh my god who even is this dude? someone needs some anger management classes. love how he keeps reminding us that “I HAVE THREE GIRLFRIENDS”, “THEY ALL KISS ME”, and “THEY SMOKE WEED HURRP DURR”. and let’s not forget the “Blaiz” and her “wicked tat”, or that he doesn’t “wanna see you standing outside [his] home at 3 am holding your weird dripping brown bags ever again”, and that this is “the FINAL FUCKING WARNING”. “the goo pile that is now your body” i’m dying over here, jesus please, Jory, come challenge me to a bout of internet witticsisms; i promise, it’ll be fun. *shoots you dead* Heh, idiot…*leaves with my three weed smorking girlfriends to go hold hands and kiss.* this dude playin omg  Come again? *The bar falls silent. No one dares to make a sound, as you have just said a very poor choice of words at a very dangerous time. I remain slumped over the bar, not looking back to you. One hand limply holding an almost empty bottle, the other hand cradling my head. I repeat the question, this time louder.* Come again?! *You can hear me slur the words, the sentence sounds like a real struggle for me to get out. I’m clearly intoxicated. A bead of sweat rolls down your face as you realize you might have just fucked up in a very major way. Everyone else in the bar is pretending to not notice what is going on. The bartender idly washes a mug with a cloth. His eyes are closed and he’s muttering something to himself. A handful of people hurriedly leave. One person looks back at you, a look of sorrow on their face. They almost say something, but shake their head and cast their eyes down to the floor, and leave. But not you. You stand, petrified. A quick look at me reveals I’m still  at the bar. You look to the exit, there’s still time. But there’s not, there’s not, there’s not. Your fate was sealed the moment you opened your mouth.* Mother fuck.. what did you say?! *I slowly rise from my stool and being to lumber over to you.  I look a mess. My hair is unkempt, I haven’t shaved in what looks like months, there are dark heavy bags under my eyes, my shirt is stained and has holes in it, and I’m missing a shoe. But the main thing you notice is the gun tucked into my jeans, and my massive muscle arms that look like they were made for punching. You know that song about the boots that were made for walking? Yeah, it’s like that only instead of boots it’s my muscles and instead of walking it’s punching. As I drunkenly sway over to you, you think of your family… Will they mourn you, or will they try and forget this blotch of stupidity, that their child insulted the Jory publicly, ever happened to their family? Your thoughts are cut short as I now stand face to face with you. I grab your face and pull you even closer.* Playin?! There was nothing playing… no playing you fuck. No playing… it was real.. the realest thing I’ve ever know.. felt… Love. I loved them… Blaiz…. Chas-Chas… Funk… I loved all three of em… but they…*My face is wet with tears and I’m blinking constantly in vain to hold them back.* They left me… left… *Almost instantly the sadness leaves my face and is replaced with pure anger.* Playin? Playin?! *My hand leaves your face and starts to head to what you think is the gun. You close your eyes and see God looking at you, shrugging. ‘Pft, you brought this upon yourself dude.’ He says as he waves his hands at you dismissively. But instead of the gun, my hands grab yours. Your eyes jolt open and the anger is gone from my face. There is only sadness.* Left me… * I fall to the floor and sob.*Wow, grow up. *You say before you leave the bar but are hit almost immediately from a car and are killed upon impact.*
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dr-gloom: neshtasplace: author-trash: inquisitorhotpants: thugilly: micdotcom: And mom of the year goes to … This is actually amazing because anytime I see a man being sexist or misogynistic, I wonder where his mother is. “your proctologist called, he found your head” lmaooooooo She went off on him I’m dead She gave him life, then saw fit to take it away. this is how moms should respond to their sons being pricks, not awkward socially-obligated laughter or silent smiles Fatality : Julia @ghoulia Follow a guy on my facebook posted something slightly stupid & his mom went OFFFFFFFFF What it takes to be an attractive... Man Woman -be ripped -have stable job -be ripped -have money -be clean dress well -smell good -be dad material -pay for dates -be confident -have nice hair -Dont be too fat Meninist on Tuesday welp I am so ANGRY AT YOU RIGHT NOW TAKE THIS DOWN. This is going to be a conversation. You think this is true? You are selfish enough and diluted enough to believe this garbage? 3 hours ago . Unlike-山1 . Reply By these standards SON I guess I'm unattractive and don't to a fucking thing for you! Oh you and I have a goddamn lunch date. 3 hours ago Unlike 1 Reply I wouldn't worry about any other girls response here. Mine should enlighten you. And I've screen shot this for our further viewing pleasure and future learning tool. 3 hours ago . Unlike . 1 . Reply I'm so glad I screen shot this very every girl you ever try to bring home. For your wedding day...this...this will be brought up FOREVER. 3 hours ago Unlike 1 Reply Yup. what mood 3 hours ago Like Reply look has set I'm sure your future pregnant wife will feel.your love when YPU MAKE HER UNATTRACTIVE through pregnancy. You twit. Open mouth allow shit to fal out. Anyone who liked this better unlik it like real fast. How do you like being single forever because your a DOUCHE CANOE? 3 hours ago Unlike 2 Reply Oh don't like me spamming your wall? Don't post horse shit calling me unattractive! Like f I'm not going to defend myself! 3 hours ago Unlike 1 Reply Simlle More Your proctologist called he found your head 2 hours ago Unlike 1 Reply Smile More Write a comment... OS dr-gloom: neshtasplace: author-trash: inquisitorhotpants: thugilly: micdotcom: And mom of the year goes to … This is actually amazing because anytime I see a man being sexist or misogynistic, I wonder where his mother is. “your proctologist called, he found your head” lmaooooooo She went off on him I’m dead She gave him life, then saw fit to take it away. this is how moms should respond to their sons being pricks, not awkward socially-obligated laughter or silent smiles Fatality
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jaksandrow: pinstripebones: lesbiananglerfish: thinkphrontistery: zzazu: hot-tea-nanako: theonewhosawitall: nerdgirl-to-the-rescue: ohmygil: ultrafacts: aussietory: third-way-is-best-way: tuxedoandex: kvotheunkvothe: ultrafacts: Source For more facts follow Ultrafacts EVERY TIME SOMEONE BRINGS UP THE LIBRARY OF ALEXANDRIA I GET SO ANGRY. but why Because it got burned. All of that knowledge, lost forever. The library was destroyed over 1000’s of years ago. The library consisted of thousands of scrolls and books about mathematics, engineering, physiology, geography, blueprints, medicine, plays, important scriptures. Thinkers from all over the Mediterranean used to come to Alexandria to study.Most of the major work of civilization up until that point was lost. If the library still survived till this day, society may have been more advanced and we would sure know more about the ancient world. That graphic grinds my gears every time I see it romans. Julius Caesar to be precise  Remember this when you’re conquering. Keep the books. THIS HURTS MY HEART SO MUCH EVERY TIME ITS BROUGHT UP Julius Caesar needs to be stabbed for this I know we should totally stab Caesar Does March 15th sound good for everyone?? hey everyone, guess what day it is : In ancient Egypt, any books found in ships coming into port, would be brought immediately to the library of Alexandria and be copied. The original would be kept in the library and the copy given back to the owner. Ultrafacts.tumblr.com jaksandrow: pinstripebones: lesbiananglerfish: thinkphrontistery: zzazu: hot-tea-nanako: theonewhosawitall: nerdgirl-to-the-rescue: ohmygil: ultrafacts: aussietory: third-way-is-best-way: tuxedoandex: kvotheunkvothe: ultrafacts: Source For more facts follow Ultrafacts EVERY TIME SOMEONE BRINGS UP THE LIBRARY OF ALEXANDRIA I GET SO ANGRY. but why Because it got burned. All of that knowledge, lost forever. The library was destroyed over 1000’s of years ago. The library consisted of thousands of scrolls and books about mathematics, engineering, physiology, geography, blueprints, medicine, plays, important scriptures. Thinkers from all over the Mediterranean used to come to Alexandria to study.Most of the major work of civilization up until that point was lost. If the library still survived till this day, society may have been more advanced and we would sure know more about the ancient world. That graphic grinds my gears every time I see it romans. Julius Caesar to be precise  Remember this when you’re conquering. Keep the books. THIS HURTS MY HEART SO MUCH EVERY TIME ITS BROUGHT UP Julius Caesar needs to be stabbed for this I know we should totally stab Caesar Does March 15th sound good for everyone?? hey everyone, guess what day it is

jaksandrow: pinstripebones: lesbiananglerfish: thinkphrontistery: zzazu: hot-tea-nanako: theonewhosawitall: nerdgirl-to-the-rescue:...

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College Vampires: PIRITS bookhobbit why is "olde vampires in high school" the big thing and not "olde vampires in college" everyone in college is eccentric. everyone you wanna wear full on Victorian suit? the girl in pajamas who clearly hasn't slept in three days supports you everyone is too preoccupied to care as long as you're polite and follow class etiquette multiple high school diplomas? eh. same stuff. multiple BAs? Enjoy learning chemistry AND art history! All in detail! wandering around campus at 3am? that's just the lifestyle tm * no matter how old or young you look it's not really that weird, there's sixteen year olds and sixty year olds doing BAs somewhere big schools are very anonymous so nobody's gonna bother to hassle you * anorthernskyatdawn the girl in pyjamas is the vampire themauvesoul Also: If u put ur blood in a water bottle ppl will assume it's juice and be Jealous "Oh god I'm a monster" 20 students who r all procrastinating big projects say "same simultaniousely and with the exact same tone Everything is a joke so if u say "I subsist on the lifeblood of mankind" someone will go "lol what a mood* It would take u like 100 years to major in everything Seen sucking the blood of a fellow classmate and u r instantly the campus Cryptid and Mascoft Listen. If u have an ethical dilemma go find a philosophy major that believes in ethical subjectivism and they'll make u so angry u forget abt whatever the fuck was bothering u College is the only acceptable place to get into fistfights over classical literature * e * iterally all u need to do to avoid suspicion is be the guy that alway:s has qum and a stapler If u have a majestic mustache ppl will just assume ur an English major Allergic to crosses? Cool. So r certain stem majors. e * College Vampires
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awesomacious: Redditor shares a few heartwarming stories about his elder brother.: A What's the rudest thing a guest has 5173 ever done in your home? (self.AskReddit) posted to AskReddit 4 hours ago by nl1004 2303 comments sorted by top DONE HIDE A PREV NEXT V A Jombafomb 19496 points 3 hours ago x2 Everyone has a story from their childhood that still pisses them off, this is mine. I was five years old and my snotty older cousin was over at our house. I had just gotten a copy of Mike Tyson's Punch out for my birthday. He was getting his ass kicked by king hippo and he got so angry he rage quit. But he didn't just rage quit, he ripped the cartridge out of the Nintendo and spit into it. Then he threw it across the room and stormed out. I told my parents what happened and they told his parents and they made him apologize, but the game was ruined. It would kind of play, but would freeze up all the time. My family barely had enough money to get me the game for my birthday never mind buying it again. I was sure I would never be able to play it again Then for Christmas this little shit got Mike Tyson's Punch Out. So my older brother went over to his house and switched our ruined cartridge with his. It was awesome. A Jombafomb 13320 points 7 hours ago x2 I could write a book with tales of his awesomeness. When I was 12 he snuck me out of the house in the middle of the night to see The Foo Fighters (before they were the biggest band on earth) At the end of their set William Goldsmith (their drummer at the time) threw his sticks into the crowd and my brother dove headfirst and emerged victoriously with the sticks over his head a minute later. He gave them to me as a memento of my first real rock show. I put one in his coffin and the other I still have to this day. We still fought all the time like brothers do, but no one could mess with me so long as he was around awesomacious: Redditor shares a few heartwarming stories about his elder brother.
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Redditor shares a few heartwarming stories about his elder brother.: A What's the rudest thing a guest has 5173 ever done in your home? (self.AskReddit) posted to AskReddit 4 hours ago by nl1004 2303 comments sorted by top DONE HIDE A PREV NEXT V A Jombafomb 19496 points 3 hours ago x2 Everyone has a story from their childhood that still pisses them off, this is mine. I was five years old and my snotty older cousin was over at our house. I had just gotten a copy of Mike Tyson's Punch out for my birthday. He was getting his ass kicked by king hippo and he got so angry he rage quit. But he didn't just rage quit, he ripped the cartridge out of the Nintendo and spit into it. Then he threw it across the room and stormed out. I told my parents what happened and they told his parents and they made him apologize, but the game was ruined. It would kind of play, but would freeze up all the time. My family barely had enough money to get me the game for my birthday never mind buying it again. I was sure I would never be able to play it again Then for Christmas this little shit got Mike Tyson's Punch Out. So my older brother went over to his house and switched our ruined cartridge with his. It was awesome. A Jombafomb 13320 points 7 hours ago x2 I could write a book with tales of his awesomeness. When I was 12 he snuck me out of the house in the middle of the night to see The Foo Fighters (before they were the biggest band on earth) At the end of their set William Goldsmith (their drummer at the time) threw his sticks into the crowd and my brother dove headfirst and emerged victoriously with the sticks over his head a minute later. He gave them to me as a memento of my first real rock show. I put one in his coffin and the other I still have to this day. We still fought all the time like brothers do, but no one could mess with me so long as he was around Redditor shares a few heartwarming stories about his elder brother.
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Redditor shares a few heartwarming stories about his elder brother. via /r/wholesomememes https://ift.tt/2QSr17M: A What's the rudest thing a guest has 5173 ever done in your home? (self.AskReddit) posted to AskReddit 4 hours ago by nl1004 2303 comments sorted by top DONE HIDE A PREV NEXT V A Jombafomb 19496 points 3 hours ago x2 Everyone has a story from their childhood that still pisses them off, this is mine. I was five years old and my snotty older cousin was over at our house. I had just gotten a copy of Mike Tyson's Punch out for my birthday. He was getting his ass kicked by king hippo and he got so angry he rage quit. But he didn't just rage quit, he ripped the cartridge out of the Nintendo and spit into it. Then he threw it across the room and stormed out. I told my parents what happened and they told his parents and they made him apologize, but the game was ruined. It would kind of play, but would freeze up all the time. My family barely had enough money to get me the game for my birthday never mind buying it again. I was sure I would never be able to play it again Then for Christmas this little shit got Mike Tyson's Punch Out. So my older brother went over to his house and switched our ruined cartridge with his. It was awesome. A Jombafomb 13320 points 7 hours ago x2 I could write a book with tales of his awesomeness. When I was 12 he snuck me out of the house in the middle of the night to see The Foo Fighters (before they were the biggest band on earth) At the end of their set William Goldsmith (their drummer at the time) threw his sticks into the crowd and my brother dove headfirst and emerged victoriously with the sticks over his head a minute later. He gave them to me as a memento of my first real rock show. I put one in his coffin and the other I still have to this day. We still fought all the time like brothers do, but no one could mess with me so long as he was around Redditor shares a few heartwarming stories about his elder brother. via /r/wholesomememes https://ift.tt/2QSr17M
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Redditor shares a few heartwarming stories about his elder brother.: A What's the rudest thing a guest has 5173 ever done in your home? (self.AskReddit) posted to AskReddit 4 hours ago by nl1004 2303 comments sorted by top DONE HIDE A PREV NEXT V A Jombafomb 19496 points 3 hours ago x2 Everyone has a story from their childhood that still pisses them off, this is mine. I was five years old and my snotty older cousin was over at our house. I had just gotten a copy of Mike Tyson's Punch out for my birthday. He was getting his ass kicked by king hippo and he got so angry he rage quit. But he didn't just rage quit, he ripped the cartridge out of the Nintendo and spit into it. Then he threw it across the room and stormed out. I told my parents what happened and they told his parents and they made him apologize, but the game was ruined. It would kind of play, but would freeze up all the time. My family barely had enough money to get me the game for my birthday never mind buying it again. I was sure I would never be able to play it again Then for Christmas this little shit got Mike Tyson's Punch Out. So my older brother went over to his house and switched our ruined cartridge with his. It was awesome. A Jombafomb 13320 points 7 hours ago x2 I could write a book with tales of his awesomeness. When I was 12 he snuck me out of the house in the middle of the night to see The Foo Fighters (before they were the biggest band on earth) At the end of their set William Goldsmith (their drummer at the time) threw his sticks into the crowd and my brother dove headfirst and emerged victoriously with the sticks over his head a minute later. He gave them to me as a memento of my first real rock show. I put one in his coffin and the other I still have to this day. We still fought all the time like brothers do, but no one could mess with me so long as he was around Redditor shares a few heartwarming stories about his elder brother.
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