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Goat, Hell, and Doom: TIL that the Baron of Hell in Doom has goat legs and is not wearing khakis

TIL that the Baron of Hell in Doom has goat legs and is not wearing khakis

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Being Alone, Animals, and Bruh: Proud @DrSmashlove DUE TO AN INFECTION THAT TOOK GVER MY LIVER MY VET GAVE ME 1 MONTH TO LIVE... THAT WASMONTHS AG AND T HAVE MADE A FULL RECOVERY How extra is the State of Montana? Pulled off yesterday at a rest area and sign literally said "RATTLESNAKE AREA. KEEP ON THE SIDEWALK." Bruh. Firstly. Of all animals to live at a rest stop...snakes? They gon fuck around and build a place where u suppose to pee...in a rattlesnake habitat? Like let's look at this shit from a snake's perspective. I whip my pecker-wood out. This snake look at my shit eye to eye (I mean mines got one eye but that's neither here nor there ๐Ÿ˜). This is a snake! His vision ok but it can't be that great! For all he know...my joint is a snake from a rival gang. Like I could picture the rattlesnake eyeing up my dick like "WHAT SET JEW CLAIM ESSAY? I SAID...WHAT SET JEW CLAIM, *ESSAY*. OH. OK BUTTERCUP. JEW JUST WANNA SHOW UP IN MY HOOD...AND SPIT THAT YELLOW VENOM OUT YOUR MOUTH...TRYEENG TO THREATEN *ME*, PENDEJO? JEW MUST NOT HAVE ASKED AROUND ABOUT ME ESSAY. OKAY ESSAY. I SEE YOU. WELL LEMME SHOW YOU SOME *REAL* VENOM ESSAY SAY KHELLO TO MY LEETO FRIEN!" And of course my PP try to be polite and reply in a rarified British accent (my PP is British all of a sudden don't ask) like "EW IT'S MERELY A MISUNDERSTANDING, CHAP! INDEED I AM NOT OF THE SERPENT SPECIES AT ALL! I AM MERELY A HUMAN PENISรˆ! I TRUST THAT I HAVE CLEARED UP ANY CONFUSION, CHEERIO!" Of course that would probably only piss Pedro off and make him call his essays like "AYE CHICO! JAIME! THIS BRITISH FUCKBOY IS TALKEEN SHIT. LET'S MAKE SURE TO GIVE HIM A WARM MONTANA WELCOME ๐Ÿ˜." All I wanted to do was pee, now my dick getting ate by several rattlesnakes wearing bandanas, creased khakis and Nike Cortez walking shoes. Now I have no genitalia. And I'm bleeding to death. And I can't call 911 because it's no motherfucking reception here in the mountains. I'm dying cold and alone while these rattlesnakes have a cook-out grilling carne Asada while Analisa and Consuela show off they new tattoos next to my dying carcass. THANKS MONTANA ๐Ÿ˜ข...๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚
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Friday, Memes, and Nike: The "Khaki" colorway of the Nike Vapor Max is up next! Are you feeling them? Dropping Friday!

The "Khaki" colorway of the Nike Vapor Max is up next! Are you feeling them? Dropping Friday!

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Af, Ass, and Baseball: Now that's a good boy While all the other dogs in the park were playing around, he read a book with his human. ba "Why do you act like that on snap". "You know that's not how you are, why you actin like a wild party girl." "You should have more self respect." <- men, lemme ask y'all. When did y'all go from age 28 to 78? High waisted khakis and crispy white reeboks lookin ass. Twenty five cent coffee at McDonald's lookin ass. "Lemme clean my dentures" lookin ass. Listen to the baseball game on the radio thru headphones while you AT the actual ballgame lookin ass <- all real OG old ass men do this shit ๐Ÿ˜‚. Lemme splain y'all something since now all of a sudden u concerned about how girls carry theyself on social media: snap ain't suppose to be her real cot damn life. She wake up early. Walk the dog. Take a shower. Do her hair. Go to a job she hate. Take the stinky ass train home where unsightly men try to sneakily graze her with they erected PP. Drink a lot of wine to forget the job she hate. U feel me? She ain't gon snap all that. She gon snap herself singing to Kendrick lyrics and acting a donkey at a bar. Poolside with her homegirls. Eating tacos because that's what sexy girls do they link up and eat tacos and then snap that shit. She tryina escape the monotony of daily existence thru this shit, not document it. Ain't that a motherfucker, ladies? Like my lil home girl always says - the same shit he loved about u that drew him in ... now he wanna u criticize u for it. Men...let a young ting be a young ting. All that judging make u look insecure and bitter AF. Let her live her life. If u can't fuck with that, give her space. Ya get me! Bless up ๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚

"Why do you act like that on snap". "You know that's not how you are, why you actin like a wild party girl." "You should have more self resp...

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Baller Alert, Kylie Jenner, and Memes: BA's Who Wore It Better: Rihanna vs. Kylie Jenner In Ruffled Waist Trousers @baller alert BAโ€™s Who Wore It Better: Rihanna vs. Kylie Jenner In Ruffled Waist Trousers - blogged by: @peachkyss โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ € โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ € There is nothing wrong with a friendly fashion battle among the celebs. There are many celebs that have been seen out and about in some of the same haute pieces. The pieces are possibly the hottest and trendiest item in Hollywood. In todayโ€™s showcase of Baller Alertโ€™s Who Wore It Better, we have KylieJenner and Rihanna wearing ruffled waist trousers. โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ € โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ € Kylie Jenner posted a photo showing off pieces from her new collection with her sister, Kendall and Kylie. The look featured wide leg sweatpants with a street chic style from the โ€˜ KendallAndKylieโ€™ collection. The sweatpants feature a high ruffled waist detail and drawstring. Kylieโ€™s look was paired with strapless top. โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ € โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ € Rihannaโ€™s photo spread from Harperโ€™s Bazaar has everyone talking about her different ensembles for the layout. The Bad Gal also wore a pair of high waisted ruffled trousers, but this time from high end designer StellaMcCartney. Rihannaโ€™s full look was first spotted on the runway of Stella McCartneyโ€™s Spring 2017 Collection. โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ € โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ € The Stella McCartney Benni Trousers are available in light khaki tone featuring a drawstring waistline with exaggerated ruffle detail, side pockets and wide leg. The trousers are available for pre-order for $1,065. โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ € โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ € Rihanna paired her look with the Abigail Jacket from Stella McCartneyโ€™s Spring 2017 Collection features corsetry detail at the waist with hook and eye fastening, peaked lapel, and single front pocket. The cream is also available for pre-order for $1,925. โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ € โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ € Seems like the high waist ruffled trousers are going to be the next trend this spring. If the Stella McCartney Benni Trousers are out of your budget, Kendall and Kylieโ€™s version may be a steal. โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ € โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ € Who do you think wore the ruffled waist trousers better: Rihanna vs. Kylie Jenner? ballerificfashion

BAโ€™s Who Wore It Better: Rihanna vs. Kylie Jenner In Ruffled Waist Trousers - blogged by: @peachkyss โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ € โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ € There is nothing wr...

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Ass, Be Like, and Bless Up: The only glo ups I care about: @DrSmashlove Alright second thing (peep my prior caption for part 1 of this): ladies if Mike making plans with u, he like u. PLANS. PLANS MEAN A RESTAURANT THAT SERVE FOOD. MIKE IN SWEATPANTS AND NIKE FLIP FLOPS at 11:02 pm AIN'T PLANS ๐Ÿ˜‚. U feel me? If he never making plans then he just keeping u warm. If he keeping shit fun, he likely fuck with u and u just give it time and also revert to point 1, above - keep options open - if Ethan who u see in the basement of your building doing laundry who always smile at u finally build up the balls to ask u out, give him a chance - u and Mike ain't married - and make it easy on Ethan, some of these young boys only know how to swipe, they never learned to spit game IRL - tease him a lil bit - tell him he not suppose to leave shit in the dryer for four hours and u could teach him how to time it so he ain't gotta iron - u feel me? Break his balls a lil bit. Go gentle tho some of these young boys are a lil pusspuss so u can't be all "HAHAHA THAT SHIRT IS UGLY WHERE DO U SHOP LOL DEAD WOW BOB SAGET FROM FULL HOUSE CALLED AND HE WANTS HIS SHIRT BACK *DAD* OL 'HEAD OF A HOUSEHOLD' LOOKIN ASS. ALSO, DOCKERS? DOCKER KHAKIS? HAHAHA OLD MAN LOOKIN ASS, GRANDPA MARV LOOKIN ASS, FIX ME A METAMUCIL AND SODA LOLOL." I love a woman who attack me relentlessly, stab me and then twist the knife, and push my buttons until steam coming out of my ears because I'm crazy ๐Ÿค— but not all men can handle that ๐Ÿ˜‚. Tease him gently like in a flirty way: "ayeeee u know there's a way to do laundry so it doesn't get wrinkly - if you're lucky maybe I'll teach you some time ๐Ÿ˜‰" then just disappear with your pleasant smelling laundry and a lil switch in your step and fvck his brain up a lil bit u feel me? Have Ethan imagining how he gon ask u out. Then when u see him at the pub up the street be like, under your breath: "AM I GONNA HAVE TO LITERALLY GRAB YOU BY THE DICK AND LEAD YOU BACK TO MY PLACE LOL" and he's like "what??" And you're like "oh I was just saying they got Three Floyds here - I love this place ๐Ÿ˜€." Fvck with him a lil bit. Leave him a lil something. Ya dig? But just live life and keep options open. God cooked up a plan, jus wait on it ๐Ÿ‘Œ. Bless up! ๐Ÿ˜
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