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Billboard, Bodies , and Children: arminarlerted story time: i taught my little cousin her first longer word when she was very young. i taught her to say "tax benefits. and to this day my aunt still doesn't know where she got it from, but it was a hilarious sight to see a little toddler waddling around the house, wearing a big diaper, all the while yelling TAX BENEFITS!!!I osmanthusoolong My parents did this with me and "nuclear disarmament bradkey I taught my little brother to say micro-surgical vasectomy reversal" (saw it on a billboard) on a road trip, and he didn't stop saying it for literal years. missvoltairine My parents taught me to chant "Get your laws off our bodies!" for a pro-choice rally when I was like four and I went to preschool and taught all the other kids the chant and led them on a mini-parade around the playground and the teachers were like ?????????? ?????????? ???????????? blossomfae whenever my brother threw a tantrum as a baby my parents would chant live free or die" until he calmed down it was fuckin weird lornacrowley when i was a kid whenever we got stuck in traffic my dad would say "what the fuck?1? in a very comic voice and i would repeat it and then he would say it with a slightly different inflection and i would repeat that too and so forth and so basically my poor mother would be stuck in standstill traffic listening to her husband and 4 yr old daughter swearing at each other without end waspabi i'm a preschool teacher and we like to joke around using radical vocabulary with the children, the other day i overheard one kid say this is my truck and the other one said 'no, this truck belongs to the collective they all say it now haledamage whenever anyone picks up my daughter or she goes upstairs, she announces "I ASCEND it's the best thing I ASCEND
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Billboard, Bodies , and Children: arminarlerted story time: i taught my little cousin her first longer word when she was very young. i taught her to say tax benefits. and to this day my aunt still doesn't know where she got it from, but it was a hilarious sight to see a little toddler waddling around the house, wearing a big diaper, all the while yelling TAX BENEFITS!!!! osmanthusoolong My parents did this with me and "nuclear disarmament" bradkey I taught my little brother to say "micro-surgical vasectomy reversal (saw it on a billboard) on a road trip, and he didn't stop saying it for literal years missvoltairine My parents taught me to chant "Get your laws off our bodies!" for a pro-choice rally when I was like four and I went to preschool and taught all the other kids the chant and led them on a mini-parade around the playground and the teachers were like ?????????? ?????????? ?2?????????? blossomfae whenever my brother threw a tantrum as a baby my parents would chant live free or die" until he calmed down it was fuckin weird lornacrowley when i was a kid whenever we got stuck in traffic my dad would say what the fuck?!? in a very comic voice and i would repeat it and then he would say it with a slightly different inflection and i would repeat that too and so forth and so basically my poor mother would be stuck in standstill traffic listening to her husband and 4 yr old daughter swearing at each other without end waspabi i'm a preschool teacher and we like to joke around using radical vocabulary with the children, the other day i overheard one kid say this is my truck and the other one said 'no, this truck belongs to the collective they all say it now Kids have no concept of word meanings but they sure love the sounds they make
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Hockey, Minecraft, and Revenge: So, my daughter, who was about 8 at the time, was REALLY Minecraft (as most kids are these days). Also desperately into wanting to join the Youtube/Let's Play culture, l had installed some screen recording software that would let her make videos of the games she was playing so she could later upload them to Youtube Anyways, one day I'm minding my own business when l hear her quietly sniffling over on the computer. asked her what was wrong, but she didn't want to tell me so I let it go, but decided to keep on eye on her. A few minutes later l discovered what was happening, someone was harassing not only her, but also all the other kids playing on whatever server she was on. This kid (we'll call him Little Shithead, or LS) was saying shit about how he was going to rape my 8 year old daughter (she told him how old she was hoping he would stop), how he was going to hack into her IP and steal all her info, swearing profusely (remember, this is a game for kids), etc etc. By this time l had gotten my fiance involved, and she was also obviously quite upset at what a little shit this kid was being. We realized that our daughter had been recording the entire incident, and a plan began to form I started by googling LS's username. There were several hits Immediately, the most interesting of which involved a page where he was publicly applying to be a mod for a server on Minecraft. I was able to learn a lot about this little POS he claimed to be 15, likes hockey, used to live in Toronto but now lives in Florida. But the bombshell was easily his skype contact info; it was literally firstname.lastname. I know your name now you little shit So I head over to Facebook and search for the name. Nothing Hmmmm. On a hunch l searched for just the last name, while narrowing my results to only the state of Florida. Several dozen hits. Hmmm. So I have to start combing through each one, until find what I was looking for: a middle aged man with the same last name, whose profile indicates he was born in Toronto and now lives in Florida. I FOUND YOUR DAD, YOU LITTLE SHIT other kids playing on whatever server she was on. This kid (we'll call him Little Shithead, or LS) was saying shit about how he was going to rape my 8 year old daughter (she told him how old she was hoping he would stop), how he was going to hack into her IP and steal all her info, swearing profusely (remember, this is a game for kids), etc etc. By this time l had gotten my fiance involved, and she was also obviously quite upset at what a little shit this kid was being. We realized that our daughter had been recording the entire incident, and a plan began to form I started by googling LS's username. There were several hits immediately, the most interesting of which involved a page where he was publicly applying to be a mod for a server on Minecraft. I was able to learn a lot about this little POS: he claimed to be 15, likes hockey, used to live in Toronto but now lives in Florida. But the bombshell was easily his skype contact info, it was literally firstname.lastname. l know your name now you little shit So I head over to Facebook and search for the name. Nothing Hmmmm. On a hunch l searched for just the last name, while narrowing my results to only the state of Florida. Several dozen hits. Hmmm. So I have to start combing through each one, until I find what I was looking for: a middle aged man with the same last name, whose profile indicates he was born in Toronto and now lives in Florida. I FOUND YOUR DAD, YOU LITTLE SHIT So I sent him a message on Facebook, asking if he had a son named firstname who goes by his username on Minecraft. Dad confirmed had the right guy. So my wife begins telling the dad everything that LS was saying to my daughter, and we sent him the recorded video as proof. Radio silence for a few days Then we got the message back: LS had his computer taken away from him for the entire summer, and had also been lying about his age (he was only 11, I think). His parents were fucking livid with him, and he surely hated the next few months of his life No one fucks with my daughter edit: spelling op stalks kid and gets revenge
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Billboard, Bodies , and Dad: waspabi lornacrowley blossomfae missvoltairine: bradkey: osmanthusoolong arminarlerted story time: i taught my little cousin her first longer word when she was very young. i taught her to say "tax benefits". and to this day my aunt still doesn't know where shegot it from, but it was a hilarious sight to see a little toddler waddling around the house, wearing a big diaper, all the while yelling "TAX BENEFITS!!!!" My parents did this with me and "nuclear disarmament I taught my little brother to say "micro- surgical vasectomy reversal" (saw it on a billboard) on a road trip, and he didn't stop saying it for literal years. My parents taught me to chant "Get your laws off our bodies!" for a pro-choice rally when I was like four and I went to preschool and taught all the other kids the chant and led them on a mini parade around the playground and the teachers were like ?????????? ?????????? ???????????? whenever my brother threw a tantrum as a baby my parents would chant "live free or die" until he calmed down it was fuckin weird when i was a kid whenever we got stuck in traffic my dad would say "what the fuck?!?" in a very comic voice and i would repeat it and then he would say it with a slightly different inflection and i would repeat that too and so forth and so basically my poor mother would be stuck in standstill traffic listening to her husband and 4 yr old daughter swearing at each other without end i'm a preschool teacher and we like to joke around using radical vocabulary with the cildren, the other day i overheard one kid say 'this is my truck' and the other one said 'no, this truck belongs to the collective'; they all say it now Story time: odd toddlersomg-humor.tumblr.com
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