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Alive, America, and Beautiful: Keaton Patti @KeatonPatti I forced a bot to watch over 1,000 hours of Trump rallies and then asked it to write a Trump rally of its own. Here is the first page TRUMP RALLY INT. BIG ARBY 'S IN SOUTH WYOMKLAHOMA PRESIDENT TRUMP forces himself on a podium PRESIDENT TRUMP I just had a phone call with the economy. Jobs poured out of the phone. Great jobs. Tall jobs. steve Jobs. All at Kinko's The crowd cheers. It is full of real Americans (man with hard hat, man with harder hat, gun that is alive) PRESIDENT TRUMP (CONT'D) The United Snakes is doing so good. other countries are on fire. All the people on fire. Hot fire too. Not us. Our flag is so beautiful. President Trump salutes a flag that says: ARBY'S FOOD IS FINE TO EAT. The crowd howls. They love this flag of America. PRESIDENT TRUMP (CONT'D) I signed a bill. No more swamp. Swamp gone. Swamp is in Mexico now. It's on fire. Great deal for us The crowd chants: FOUR MORE SWAMPS! FOUR MORE SWAMPS! PRESIDENT TRUMP (CONT D) Foreign powers cheat us Canada steals our milk. China steals our milk. We only had one glass of milk left! Obama drank it. Not fair The crowd b s. They wanted that milk PRESIDENT TRUMP (CONT'D) But like President Ronald Rogaine, I will bring back the milk! The crowd roars. They still want that milk PRESIDENT TRUMP (CONT'D) A wall of milk. No criminals get through. Democrats want criminals to have the milk. No way. Milk comes from coal. We'll dig it up. All of the words are mispronounced. The crowd cheers. They hate pronunciations. They love milk. They start digging
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Lawyer, Love, and Shoes: the funniest thing in the entire pirates of one scene in At World's End where they have parlay but davy jones is part of it and rather then have him stand in thhe shallows or something they get a big bucket of water and have in stand on it who thought of that idea? who thought put davy jones in a bucket of water and had the guts to suggest aloud? and then who went "hey that sounds at some point someone toid davy janes bucket of water and he agreed to it tis ok but notice the trail of buckets behind before he got into the one hes standing It's even funnier when you consider how he must have figured all this out in the Some folic are asking wel, if he can avaid the no-dry-land curse simply by standing in a bucket, doesn't that ruin his whole motvation?" but he's not on The parley takes place on a sandbar the shore, that spends most of its time What Jones is doing here is rules- the trial and error he must have gone through in order to determine that this "Okay, do islands count as dry land? How about parts of the share below the high tide mark? Reefs? Shoas? What if Does it have to be seawater, ar will ay water do? Does it have to be a natural Pretty sure that this implies that the the water toig bucket with just a bit of sand), would quaify as dry land. That's absurd, so I'm pretty sure that his lawyer pulled a fast one over the curse It may be absurd, but the text of the fitm bears it out Davy Jones can sense the presence of his heart while it's a sea, but not whie it's on land indeed that's why he buried it on land in the first place to break his connection with it)-yet placing the heart n a simplo jar land does, aven ifth0 jar is a boat at filled with dirt absolutely count as dry land for the purpose of Jonescrse Then the reverse should aso be true. i he buried it in a jer of water, no matter how far inland it is, he would be able to senso it. So by this logia, any container a curse than it is to weasel around i-I figune that's why he's using multple forbidden to set foot on dry land, but it's technically not dry land (it's a exposed only at low tide) and he technicaly ddn't set foot on it thes standing in a bucker of wateri. It's ckay but this all raises one further, very dry land he's forbidden from, what can Davy Jones fight you in salt marshes? can he trow down in a pear This is the quality content I come to could he step ฉn land if his shoes are No matter how ridiculous PotC gets l will love it. Especially when it results in What it he crawis around on his hands and inees, with his teet raised slightly nto the air? Can he walk on his hands? Can he ride around in a litter or What if he flies over dry land? Like in a hot air baloon, or in the clews of a giant Whar it hes carried by two swaliows In fact im not entirely sure thalt it wasnt At Wit’s End

At Wit’s End

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