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5 Am, Being Alone, and America: This is how I like to wake my good girl. (🎥: reddit u-din7) Look bruv some of y’all smart like y’all just gon be successful in life on the strength of being hella smart alone. But some of y’all ain’t smart. Actually y’all dumb (low key 😂). But u wanna know some bruv? U CAN STILL ABSOLUTELY KILL IT IN LIFE. “Smash wayment. U saying even if I’m dumb I could kill it in corporate America? How Sway? 🤔” I’m absolutely saying that. I got clients that will take your breath away with they intellect - hell one CEO I work with is a biomedical engineer. He ain’t een have to stunt on em like that! He coulda had a lil state school MBA! Nah. He a PhD in a field that ain’t een applicable! He could be negotiating pricing on a multi million $ agreement and disagree with u and then then heck around and slice ya ear off then make u a substitute synthetic ear in a Petri dish and reattach it like “bam - no love lost - just wanted to biomedically engineer u right quick - this ear is bionic and will let u hear perfectly bless up.” But nah on the other end of the spectrum is executives who are just hella dumb. Couldn’t write an email without typos if they had a gun to they head. But u know what they are, bruv? Always and without fail? EARLY 😂. Dumb people in corporate America early as HELL bruh. U know I love our armed services and got nothing but respect for them bruv but do u know why it’s so many former soldiers - marines - Air Force in corporate America bruv? Not bc they naturally smarter - they just early! If u at ya desk sending email at 7 am bruv u look authoritative. Sharp. U feel me? Dedicated. Hell I got one client she get to work at 6! And another one that get to work at 5. FIVE 👏 A 👏 M 👏. Now look I’m not saying u HAVE to be at work at 7 am. I’m just saying if u DO, people will perceive u as a BOSS - even if u literally braindead. U feel me? Trick: I get up to pray early then go back schleep but before I do, I reply to emails from overnight. That way people like “wow he up at 5 am damn.” Nah. I’m up to email y’all a$$es before snoozing 😂. But if y’all wanna assume then good 😊. Either get to work early or email early (like my dumb a$$) - may God bless all of u in ya careers. Bless up! 😂😂😂
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80s, America, and Ass: the kind of cuddle puddle l want to be in @DrSmashlove So yesterday I'm bending over in my office to pick something up and boom, the butt seam of my suit pants breaks because BigAssProblems. Now usually I got a sewing kit with me in my gym bag but yesterday was a rest day. So reluctantly I'm like "let me bug Susan the head of HR because in addition to people flooding her with questions about whether or not they can pay for Plan B out of their FlexSpend account, lemme be the asshole who asks her if she got a sewing kit." Not only does she have one, she says she'll bring it right by. She knocks on my door and I'm like "ayeee thank you!!" And she says "no problem smash! Is there something I can sew for you?" She ain't even ask it like a 'fake ask', neither - she was dead ass. Bruh. BRUH. At that moment all I could think of was all the assholes in corporate America who's ever crossed the line and asked a senior woman to do something degrading AS FVCK. Get them lunch. Get their cleaning. All the shit u poor women did in the 70s and 80s for overbearing assholes who don't believe a woman is there for any purpose other than to support them. So in 2017, even as women run companies (Meg Whitman) and countries (Angela Merkel), a senior woman at my firm asked if she could sew my pants. What I said: "thank you Susan but I'm good, I can sew!!" What I should have said: "SUSAN - NOT ONLY DO YOU NOT NEED TO SEW MY PANTS - BUT IF ANY MAN EVER ASKS YOU TO SEW SOMETHING EVER AGAIN - WHETHER A SHIRT OR DRESS PANTS FULL OF HIS BUTTSWEAT - COME SEE ME SO HE COULD GET THESE MOTHERFUCKING HANDS." Ya get me! Bless up 😍😂😂😂
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