Telled
Telled

Telled

When She Says Dont Stop But You Gotta Blast
When She Says Dont Stop But You Gotta Blast

When She Says Dont Stop But You Gotta Blast

Starts
Starts

Starts

Stop Trying
Stop Trying

Stop Trying

Gotta Blast
Gotta Blast

Gotta Blast

When She Say
When She Say

When She Say

Busts A Nut
Busts A Nut

Busts A Nut

Say Daddy
Say Daddy

Say Daddy

Www 9Gag
Www 9Gag

Www 9Gag

Hitted
Hitted

Hitted

πŸ”₯ | Latest

Fresh, Reddit, and Shower: You avoided it at all costs. You showered three times a day. You washed your hands and face after every meal You stayed inside, away from the beating sun and omnipresent moisture You wormed away from every occasion that involved a greasy meal. You couldn't stand it. One day, you woke up in a bed that was oozing You were relieved when you realized you didn't soil yourself. You were horrified when you realized you were soaking in a bed of your own sweat. You scrambled for the shower. You ignored the split splat noises your feet made as you rushedc You turned the faucet, and let the refreshing water wash over you. It wasn't enough. The grease was still in every pore and every fold of your body. You grab the soap and start scrubbing. And scrubbing. And scrubbing. It's surprisingly easy Skin gives way to fat, which gives way to bone. All the lard and cholesterol melts, slips between your fingers, and disappears down the drain in a soapy slurry But it isn't enough. You don't stop, even as the shower floor gains a fresh coat of gunk. It's on you. It's on you and it's staining you and it' s in you and it is you and it won't come off. You start scraping, scraping, trying to get it off. You reach deep inside. First, it's like trying to peel bark off of a tree. Then, it feels like grating a block of wax. Finally, it starts melting under the torrent of shower water. Curdles of osseous matter drift down into the floor and into the flood. Every last bit of you disappears into the drain Finally, you're clean [Src]

[Src]

Children, Crying, and Fall: My mother taught me.. TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE "If you're going to kill each other, do it outside I just finished cleaning." RELIGION "You better pray that will come out of the carpet." TIME TRAVEL "If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!" LOGIC. "Because I said so, that's why." MORE LOGIC "If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the store with me." FORESIGHT Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident." IRONY. "Keep crying, and I'll give you something to cry about.." OSMOSIS. "Shut your mouth and eat your supper." CONTORTIONIST. Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck! STAMINA... "You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone." WEATHER. This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through HYPOCRISY "If I told you once, I've told you a million times Don't exaggerate!" CIRCLE OF LIFE. "I brought you into this world, and I can take you out.." BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION Stop acting like your father" ENVY "There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do." ANTICIPATION Just wait until we get home." RECEIVING "You are going to get it when you get home!" MEDICAL SCIENCE "If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to get stuck that way." ESP. Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?" HUMOR. "When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me." HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT "If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow fr GENETICS. You're just like your father." ROOTS Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?" WISDOM "When you get to be my age, you'll understand." JUSTICE One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you!! THE META PICTURE <p><a href="https://epicjohndoe.tumblr.com/post/172737627964/things-you-can-only-learn-from-your-mother" class="tumblr_blog">epicjohndoe</a>:</p> <blockquote><p>Things You Can Only Learn From Your Mother</p></blockquote>

<p><a href="https://epicjohndoe.tumblr.com/post/172737627964/things-you-can-only-learn-from-your-mother" class="tumblr_blog">epicjohndoe</a>...