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U ladies trip me out Bruh lemme tell u why. I'll be watching TV with a girl and she be all "hey - you think Keira Knightley's pretty?" And I'll be like "yeah you know I mean she's kinda cute I could see that." Bam. Bam bam bam. Here goes nothing. "Oh cute huh. Cute. Ok. She's cute now. FYI...She's like...a fucking toothpick. So now you like toothpicks? I knew it. I fucking knew it. Why are you even wasting my time? Why am I here? GO FUCK KEIRA KNIGHTLEY IF YOU LIKE TOOTHPICKS - YOU KNEW I HAD AN ASS WHEN YOU MET ME, TOOTHPICK MAN. OL TOOTHPICK ASS. *TOOTHPICK DICK*." Me: "Baby I deserve all of this for making you feel a type of way but you and I both know I ain't got a toothpick dick πŸ€”." Her: "MOTHER, FUCK! YOU KNOW WHAT? WHY DON'T I JUST STICK A TOOTHPICK *IN* YOUR DICK AND *MAKE* YOU A TOOTHPICK DICK, HOWBOW DAH. SINCE YOU LIKE TOOTHPICKS SO MUCH NOW. *APPARENTLY*. MR. TOOTHPICK-IN-THE-DICK." My advice to u men, Bruh? Just don't ever acknowledge a girl is pretty. Literally lie. "Keira? Keira Nightley? Nah. I mean she aigh...nah. Not my type. I'm going to the kitchen baby, want some sparkling water? Ice or no ice..." <- that's how u respond if asked if Keira Fucking Knightley is pretty. U get me? But more importantly ladies let me give u this lil tidbit of info. If I'm with you, I fucks with u. Who gives a fuck if I also like girls with another body type. I didn't say I like them better. Smash is an equal opportunity employer. My PP exercises affirmative action. U feel me? I maintain a diverse workforce πŸ‘©πŸΎπŸ‘±πŸ»β€β™€οΈπŸ‘©πŸ»πŸ‘±πŸ½β€β™€οΈ. NO BODY TYPE LEFT BEHIND, U ALL BEAUTIFUL. Bless up πŸ˜πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚: Best friends fur ever @DrSmashlove U ladies trip me out Bruh lemme tell u why. I'll be watching TV with a girl and she be all "hey - you think Keira Knightley's pretty?" And I'll be like "yeah you know I mean she's kinda cute I could see that." Bam. Bam bam bam. Here goes nothing. "Oh cute huh. Cute. Ok. She's cute now. FYI...She's like...a fucking toothpick. So now you like toothpicks? I knew it. I fucking knew it. Why are you even wasting my time? Why am I here? GO FUCK KEIRA KNIGHTLEY IF YOU LIKE TOOTHPICKS - YOU KNEW I HAD AN ASS WHEN YOU MET ME, TOOTHPICK MAN. OL TOOTHPICK ASS. *TOOTHPICK DICK*." Me: "Baby I deserve all of this for making you feel a type of way but you and I both know I ain't got a toothpick dick πŸ€”." Her: "MOTHER, FUCK! YOU KNOW WHAT? WHY DON'T I JUST STICK A TOOTHPICK *IN* YOUR DICK AND *MAKE* YOU A TOOTHPICK DICK, HOWBOW DAH. SINCE YOU LIKE TOOTHPICKS SO MUCH NOW. *APPARENTLY*. MR. TOOTHPICK-IN-THE-DICK." My advice to u men, Bruh? Just don't ever acknowledge a girl is pretty. Literally lie. "Keira? Keira Nightley? Nah. I mean she aigh...nah. Not my type. I'm going to the kitchen baby, want some sparkling water? Ice or no ice..." <- that's how u respond if asked if Keira Fucking Knightley is pretty. U get me? But more importantly ladies let me give u this lil tidbit of info. If I'm with you, I fucks with u. Who gives a fuck if I also like girls with another body type. I didn't say I like them better. Smash is an equal opportunity employer. My PP exercises affirmative action. U feel me? I maintain a diverse workforce πŸ‘©πŸΎπŸ‘±πŸ»β€β™€οΈπŸ‘©πŸ»πŸ‘±πŸ½β€β™€οΈ. NO BODY TYPE LEFT BEHIND, U ALL BEAUTIFUL. Bless up πŸ˜πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚
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So my lil homegirl texted me about this clown who drove her home after her birthday party and wanted a Nobel Prize for not trying to get an invite upstairs. His text to her friend: "People like her don't appreciate a man who shows her respect. And then the next minute will be the girl who's like, wow, he wasn't just trying to fvck me, he was actually really nice lol." Men, imma tell u something that may not be intuitive. Y'all ready? Listen close. She. Don't. Owe. You. SHIIIIIIIIIT πŸ˜‚. Y'all love coming up with these scenarios: "Well, she don't want me, God bless her. When she wakes up at age 40 surrounded by six cats and no man she'll wish she gave me a chance." Let me tell you three things she gonna be thinking at age 40: (1) "Wow am I sexy. 40 looks good!" (2) "Wow, my sex drive is crazy at age 40! Lemme see if smash is available to beat the brakes off this lil Punani tonight ☺️." (3) "Bees are dying at an alarming rate πŸ€”." Lemme tell u what she's NOT thinking: "Wow, Terrence was so kind to me for not trying to bang me. I should have married him and had his children. I am now fraught with regret. What am I to do 😒." She. Don't. Owe. You. SHIIIIIIIIIT 😍. Ya get me? Y'all should be respectful to ALL women. ALL. Not some. ALL. "What if she a hoe lol." STOP CALLING WOMEN HOES HOWBOW DAH. (See? That was a trick question 😘). Once u realize no woman owes u shit, you'll start to keep it G, not be so damn thirsty, and not come to expect anything from women. And watch how your life changes for the better. Ya get me! Bless up πŸ™ŒπŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚: Dogs in flower crowns @Dr Smashlove So my lil homegirl texted me about this clown who drove her home after her birthday party and wanted a Nobel Prize for not trying to get an invite upstairs. His text to her friend: "People like her don't appreciate a man who shows her respect. And then the next minute will be the girl who's like, wow, he wasn't just trying to fvck me, he was actually really nice lol." Men, imma tell u something that may not be intuitive. Y'all ready? Listen close. She. Don't. Owe. You. SHIIIIIIIIIT πŸ˜‚. Y'all love coming up with these scenarios: "Well, she don't want me, God bless her. When she wakes up at age 40 surrounded by six cats and no man she'll wish she gave me a chance." Let me tell you three things she gonna be thinking at age 40: (1) "Wow am I sexy. 40 looks good!" (2) "Wow, my sex drive is crazy at age 40! Lemme see if smash is available to beat the brakes off this lil Punani tonight ☺️." (3) "Bees are dying at an alarming rate πŸ€”." Lemme tell u what she's NOT thinking: "Wow, Terrence was so kind to me for not trying to bang me. I should have married him and had his children. I am now fraught with regret. What am I to do 😒." She. Don't. Owe. You. SHIIIIIIIIIT 😍. Ya get me? Y'all should be respectful to ALL women. ALL. Not some. ALL. "What if she a hoe lol." STOP CALLING WOMEN HOES HOWBOW DAH. (See? That was a trick question 😘). Once u realize no woman owes u shit, you'll start to keep it G, not be so damn thirsty, and not come to expect anything from women. And watch how your life changes for the better. Ya get me! Bless up πŸ™ŒπŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚
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