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Doctor, Food, and Memes: I bought a bird feeder. I hung it on my back porch and filled it with seed. What a beauty of a bird feeder it was, as I filled it lovingly with seed. Within a week we had hundreds of birds taking advantage of the continuous flow of free and easily accessible food. But then the birds started building nests in the boards of the patio, above the table, and next to the barbecue. Then came the crap. It was everywhere: on the patio tile, the chairs, the table ...everywhere! Then some of the birds turned mean. They would dive bomb me and try to peck me even though I had fed them out of my own pocket. And others birds were boisterous and loud. They sat on the feeder and squawked and screamed at all hours of the day and night and demanded that I fill it when it got low on food. After a while, I couldn't even sit on my own back porch anymore. So I took down the bird feeder and in three days the birds were gone. I cleaned up their mess and took down the many nests they had built all over the patio. Soon, the back yard was like it used to be ..... quiet, serene.... and no one demanding their rights to a free meal. Now let's see......Our government gives out free food, subsidized housing, free medical care and free education, and allows anyone born here to be an automatic citizen. Then the illegals came by the tens of thousands. Suddenly our taxes went up to pay for free services; small apartments are housing 5 families; you have to wait 6 hours to be seen by an emergency room doctor; Your child's second grade class is behind other schools because over half the class doesn't speak English. Corn Flakes now come in a bilingual box; I have to 'press one ' to hear my bank talk to me in English, and people waving flags other than ”ours” are squawking and screaming in the streets, demanding more rights and free liberties. Just my opinion, but maybe it's time for the government to take down the bird feeder. If you agree, pass it on; if not, just continue cleaning up the crap!! @unclesamsmisguidedchildren

I bought a bird feeder. I hung it on my back porch and filled it with seed. What a beauty of a bird feeder it was, as I filled it lovingly w...

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Be Like, Children, and Coca-Cola: speedoweedo speedoweedo speedoweedo speedoweedo ndiecity speedoweedo speedoweedo on a list of dumb shit i know: o the grass in the original shrek movie is not grass. its hair. they used hair textures for the grass bc the actual grass for some reason in their computer modelling programs would not behave like grass so they used hair textures colored green o elvis presley was a registered DEA officer who asked nixon for the title and was awarded it. What else? o the great escape artist houdini was living in a time period where mysticism, fortune telling, ouija boards, seances and etc were becoming very common place and trendy. and he fucking hated it so much. so much that he would go to seances in disguise and make some bullshit off the wall shit like "my son died last vear can you let me talk to him and the seance person would be like THIS IS YOUR SON HELLO FATHER' then he'd rip off his disguise and be like YOU FRAUD I HAVE NO CHILDREN o He died on Halloween night in detroit and as far as i know every year they hold seances on halloween trying to get in contact with his spirit. If seances work i bet his ghost is just pissed off and not responding out of raw spite o foxes cant snarl like dogs and wolves cus the muscles in their muzzle dont allowe it so they just drop their jaws and scream. o if you were to eat the liver of a polar bear you would succumb to vitamin A poisoning o Graham crackers started off as anti masturbatory aids, Coca-Cola was intended to be a medicine o Mr. John Harvey Kellogg invented corn flakes as a measure to stave off masturbation and was huge into the anti-masturbatory movement, which he believed caused health problems o also in the same vein as houdini shit: he commissioned H.P. Lovecraft to write a piece discrediting mysticism and it fucking exists. He, the fantastic magician, commissioned the fuckn horror fantasy writer to dunk on mysticism. I cannot get over this for any span of time it comes back to slap me each day o also HP Lovecraft was deathly afraid of fish, and was a self-described ichthyophobe A treasure trove of trivia
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Ass, Beef, and Blue Waffle: YOUR STRIPPER NAME IS. DALL THE COLOUR OF YOUR UNDERWEAR AND THE THING YOU LASTATE <p><a href="http://the-mighty-birdy.tumblr.com/post/163057657048/nunyabizni-the-mighty-birdy" class="tumblr_blog">the-mighty-birdy</a>:</p> <blockquote><p><a href="https://nunyabizni.tumblr.com/post/163057622867/the-mighty-birdy-mary-queen-of-thots" class="tumblr_blog">nunyabizni</a>:</p> <blockquote><p><a href="http://the-mighty-birdy.tumblr.com/post/163057080563/mary-queen-of-thots-victorianvictim" class="tumblr_blog">the-mighty-birdy</a>:</p><blockquote> <p><a href="https://mary-queen-of-thots.tumblr.com/post/163054581420/victorianvictim-bransrath" class="tumblr_blog">mary-queen-of-thots</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a href="https://victorianvictim.tumblr.com/post/163054561226/bransrath-kugel-and-kombucha-exotic-hotdog" class="tumblr_blog">victorianvictim</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a href="http://bransrath.tumblr.com/post/163054477676/kugel-and-kombucha-exotic-hotdog" class="tumblr_blog">bransrath</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a href="http://kugel-and-kombucha.tumblr.com/post/163054356414/exotic-hotdog-klubbhead-noisybrain" class="tumblr_blog">kugel-and-kombucha</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a href="https://exotic-hotdog.tumblr.com/post/163052208494/klubbhead-noisybrain-klubbhead" class="tumblr_blog">exotic-hotdog</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a href="http://klubbhead.tumblr.com/post/163045499623/noisybrain-klubbhead-ilikechildrenfried" class="tumblr_blog">klubbhead</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a href="http://noisy--brain.tumblr.com/post/163045473730/klubbhead-ilikechildrenfried-klubbhead" class="tumblr_blog">noisy–brain</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a href="http://klubbhead.tumblr.com/post/163045161743/ilikechildrenfried-klubbhead" class="tumblr_blog">klubbhead</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a href="http://ilikechildren--fried.tumblr.com/post/163045123391/klubbhead-the-good-names-are-gone" class="tumblr_blog">ilikechildren–fried</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a href="http://klubbhead.tumblr.com/post/163045080033/the-good-names-are-gone-fireb0y" class="tumblr_blog">klubbhead</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a href="https://the-good-names-are-gone.tumblr.com/post/163045022442/fireb0y-haha-you-said-traps" class="tumblr_blog">the-good-names-are-gone</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a href="http://fireb0y.tumblr.com/post/163044944135/haha-you-said-traps" class="tumblr_blog">fireb0y</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a href="http://haha-you-said-traps.tumblr.com/post/163044857290/skinny-dipping-professional-lanceoutlaw71" class="tumblr_blog">haha-you-said-traps</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a href="https://skinny-dipping-professional.tumblr.com/post/163043458540/lanceoutlaw71-justcuriousa-chief91" class="tumblr_blog">skinny-dipping-professional</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a href="https://lanceoutlaw71.tumblr.com/post/163038085541/justcuriousa-chief91-meesh33699" class="tumblr_blog">lanceoutlaw71</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a href="https://justcuriousa.tumblr.com/post/163038054768/chief91-meesh33699-missvaliant-jouet69" class="tumblr_blog">justcuriousa</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a href="https://chief91.tumblr.com/post/163037520217/meesh33699-missvaliant-jouet69-commando" class="tumblr_blog">chief91</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a href="https://meesh33699.tumblr.com/post/163031457822/missvaliant-jouet69-commando-sausage-pink" class="tumblr_blog">meesh33699</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a href="http://missvaliant.tumblr.com/post/163031333894/jouet69-commando-sausage-pink-tao-you-just" class="tumblr_blog">missvaliant</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a href="https://jouet69.tumblr.com/post/163030616993/commando-sausage" class="tumblr_blog">jouet69</a>:</p> <blockquote><p>Commando Sausage</p></blockquote> <p>Pink Tao! You just can’t make that shit up! 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣💋💋</p> </blockquote> <p>Black Sweet Heart ❤️ Roll 🍣</p> </blockquote> <p>Blue Potato 😂😂</p> </blockquote> <p>Purple brisket</p> </blockquote> <p>Black Beef</p> </blockquote> <p>Commando Blizzard</p> </blockquote> <p>Blue milkshake</p> </blockquote> <p>Pink toast…..</p> </blockquote> <p>Black noodle</p> </blockquote> <p>Blue Popcorn</p> <p>I dig it</p> </blockquote> <p>Pink Popcorn<br/>Sounds like a damn venereal disease </p> </blockquote> <p>What’s funnier is that we got the “gender designated” colors.</p> </blockquote> <p>Naked Nachos or Commando Queso. You decide.</p> </blockquote> <p>One by day, the other by night</p> </blockquote> <p>Pink White Chocolate Macadamia Nut Clif Bar </p> <p>But I guess just Pink Macadamia Nut for short??</p> </blockquote> <p>Black Ass </p> </blockquote> <p>Commando Salsa</p> </blockquote> <p>pink peanut butter toast</p> </blockquote> <p>black corn flakes</p> </blockquote> <p>White burger….</p> <p>Damn that’s sexy</p> </blockquote> <p>Blue Waffle……………<br/><br/><br/><br/>DAMMIT </p></blockquote> <p>:O</p></blockquote> <p>Pink Oreo</p>
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Af, Ass, and Bless Up: He's all smiles after being rescued @DrSmashlove As y'all get out there and date, y'all gon break up with people and realize things. Realize some real ass things that didn't occur to u before. One of these things is the realization that the person u dated - this person u loved - adored - respected - is CORNY as FUCK 😂. Corny as a bowl of corn flakes. A king size bag of corn chips. A field of corn deep in rural Indiana looking at your ex like "I will never be this corny 😢." When u realize this ladies and gents I want u to do one thing. Just one. Open Facebook. Open Instagram. Open Snap. And shade TF out of them. Call them out for being so corny. "Shout to my ex Terrence for dating a ex stripper who got three kids from three different men living at her grandma house hope that's working out for u T 😋." ACTUALLY JUST KIDDING AF DONT EVER EVER EVER DO THIS. 😂 Ok first fuck u for shaming strippers and mama's. But second, query what's the benefit? All yo girls gon be leaving like comments like "get him Susan! 😂" But what are they actually thinking? "Wow does Susan think anyone gon fuck with her now that they know she put people on blast ok Cat Lady Susan more men for the rest of us 😂." See what happened Susan is that all the corn just exited Terrence's body and entered your aura and now u the corny one. U just de-corned him when u could have left Terrence as the rightful owner of that corn bushel. So with that said keep it G. And do me a favor. Block Terrence on all forms of media - phone, IG, FB, name it. The power of the block is that it assures u that they won't try to cornily weasel they corny ass back in 🤗. And say the following: "Thank you God for letting me learn things and realize things. Please give me the strength to not be petty, and help me move onward and upward." Pettiness can be relieving in the short term but it's damning in the long term. Just believe smash on this one. Bless up ❤️😂😂😂
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