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Dad, Drugs, and Dude: When a black person gives you the nigga pass" GOOD RELATIONS WITH THE WOOKIEES, I HAVE "Damn, I really aint tryna go to math" "Why?" "I have an essay today." "Forreal? That sucks." "Yea that's not even the worst part." "It's not?" "Mr. Goff is the sub." "JACK GOFF?" "Yup." "Isn't that the dude that got arrested for touching you a year ago?" "Yup, my buttocks are on lockdown mode." "How did he get out of jail so early?" "The government is too busy locking up people for drugs, so they're releasing "less offensive" criminals early. Welp, here it is." "Good luck on your essay babe." "Ah Goodmorning Daniel." "Morning Mr. Goff. Where is everyone?" "Seems you're a little early." "But Im always late..." "Oh?" "Plus its been 5 minutes since the bell... Hey, why are you locking the door?" "Hm? I always do this?" "Hell nah somethings fishy." "Is it Mr. Cole?" "What are you doing? Don't come near me!" "Dont be scared Mr. Cole, it wont hurt a bit." "DON'T FUCKIN TOUCH ME OLD MAN! AHHHHH-" "HEY! What's going on in here? WHAT THE FUCK? Why are you naked Mr. Goff?" "Mrs. G! Mr. Goff tried to-" "It was this horrible student Miss. He tried to fondle me." "WHAT?!" "Is that true Daniel?" "Of course not-" "Indeed it is true. I tried to stop him but you see, I am only an old man." "Daniel, come with me, we're calling your parents." "WHAT THE FUCK IS HAPPENING." I woke up in a cold sweat and was panting like a dog. "Something wrong baby?" "No dad, and can you not have an erection if you're gonna spoon me? Kinda gay."
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