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Bad, Fucking, and Future: UZIL SRAAK WILL BRANDISH OUR HEADS BEFORE THE QUEEN. OUR MISSION LIES BELOW. THIS IS TREASON. ONLY IF YOu TELL HIM WHAT ARE WE DOING HERE? NO. WHATEVER SLUDGE FILLS YOUR SKULL CAN TELL INTERESTING STORIES, BUT I'M CERTAIN IT'S NOT CONNECTED TO A FUCKING TRINITY OF MYSTICAL SLEEPING WORMS I'VE ALWAYS BELIEVED THAT YOUR PROPHECIES LEAKED OUT FROM THE IMULSION CORROSION IN YOUR BRAIN. FUCK THE TRINITY! I'VE A MORE GLORIOUS DEATH IN MIND YOU'VE FINALLY SEEN THE LIGHT BROTHER? CONTINUE TO OFFEND THE .GODS WITH HERESY, AND I DOUBT THEY WILL SLEEP MUCH LONGER I WOULD HAVE THE BLOODIED VANGUARD TASTE VICTORY. DRINK HOT BLOOD FROM AN ENEMY CRUSHED BY FEAR BEFORE ITS MISERABLE DEATH THEY HAVE NO IMAGINATION FOR THE ENEMY THAT MARCHES BELOW THE MINDLESS ABOMINATIONS CAN HAVE THE HOLLOW. THIS IS OUR FUTURE EATE OUR FATE エ'LL STAND WITH YOu. I REFUSE TO BE CLAIMED BY A PITIFUL END MAD BASTARD. NO, SKORGE. WE WILL COME TO A RIGHTEOUS ONE WHERE DO WE BEGIN? A SMALL MATTER OF MARCHING OUR COMPANY TO THE INNER HOLLOW, CUTTING THROUGH UZIL SRAAK AND HIS HORDE OF THERON ELITE AND GAINING AN AUDIENCE WITH THE QUEEN HERSELF AN INTERESTING PLOT... AND YET. I HAVE A BETTER PLAN MAYBE YOU SHOULD'VE STOOD NEXT TO MY MAGGOTS AND SHOWN THE HOW IT'S DONE. TRINITY'S ROTTED CORPSE RAAM... I SAID NEGOTIATE. THERE WAS A TIME WHEN I HAD ATTAINED NEAR DIVINE PRIVILEGE PROMISING ACOLYTE OF THE KANTUS. EXCLUSIVE QUARTERS. BREEDING RIGHTS, EVEN. CАНАНАНА! ONLY FUCKING I SEE NOW IS BY PRUDGE TENTACLES YOUR HUBRIS iS GOING TO BE THE DEATH OF ME! th3-d0rk-lord: taco-flavored-kisses: I love how this Rise of RAAM comic is portraying Skorge and RAAM. They are total bros. Like Marcus and Dom.I never expected these two to work with each other, much less be buddies… but damn do I love it.They even call each other “brother”. Well now I feel bad for having to kill these two. They just wanted to get away from the Lambent, I know that. *sigh* R.I.P General Raam and Skorge.
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Advice, Bailey Jay, and Finance: Senator Eric Abetz has complained about the rainbow pride flag being flown in the foyer of a government department, saving it belongs to a "hostile nation" that has declared war on Australia. SENATE Senate Finance and Public Administration Legisiation Committee ileolai: gondorsfinest: feitanswife: sailurmars: mycroftrh: gerbthenerd: Reblog if you’re part of a hostile nation that’s declared war on Australia Oh my god though guys you don’t know the best thing!  The best thing is: he’s right. The Gay and Lesbian Kingdom of the Coral Sea Islands is a micronation near Australia.  This is their flag: The Gay Kingdom (as it is colloquially known) was founded in 2004 in protest against Australia’s legal stance against same-sex marriage. Here are some of their stamps: They are currently ruled by Emperor Dale I, and their currency is the Pink Dollar. And, indeed - they declared war on Australia for not recognizing same-sex marriages performed outside the country.  (Second link.) You’re telling me there has been a Gay Island this ENTIRE TIME and I’m only just finding out about it???? WHAT okay, but not enough people know the details on this. people at pride were upset about gay rights in australia. so they decided to sail 200 miles into the coral sea just ‘cause and put a rainbow flag on a fucking empty island out of spite. and i’m talking empty. no inhabitants. zero. it was a flat piece of land with a bit of dry grass. now it has a camp site and a post office.  they have a declaration of independence that talks a bit about gay rights and then just flat out copies the “life liberty and the pursuit of happiness” part from the american declaration of independence. and here’s the best part: the founding group actually elected their emperor. he was originally going to be called the “administrator” of a republic. their website, however, says that “upon legal advice, his title was changed to that of Sovereign on the grounds that under Australian law a defacto prince trying to claim his crown cannot be charged with treason”. so they made it a kingdom and he now claims to be a descendent of edward ii. everything about this is glorious and everyone should know about it. Keep reading Not one of you mentioned that the anthem for this nation is I Am What I Am by Gloria Gaynor. Not. One. Of. You.
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Advice, Bailey Jay, and Finance: Senator Eric Abetz has complained about the rainbow pride flag being flown in the foyer of a government department, saving it belongs to a "hostile nation" that has declared war on Australia. SENATE Senate Finance and Public Administration Legisiation Committee ileolai: gondorsfinest: feitanswife: sailurmars: mycroftrh: gerbthenerd: Reblog if you’re part of a hostile nation that’s declared war on Australia Oh my god though guys you don’t know the best thing!  The best thing is: he’s right. The Gay and Lesbian Kingdom of the Coral Sea Islands is a micronation near Australia.  This is their flag: The Gay Kingdom (as it is colloquially known) was founded in 2004 in protest against Australia’s legal stance against same-sex marriage. Here are some of their stamps: They are currently ruled by Emperor Dale I, and their currency is the Pink Dollar. And, indeed - they declared war on Australia for not recognizing same-sex marriages performed outside the country.  (Second link.) You’re telling me there has been a Gay Island this ENTIRE TIME and I’m only just finding out about it???? WHAT okay, but not enough people know the details on this. people at pride were upset about gay rights in australia. so they decided to sail 200 miles into the coral sea just ‘cause and put a rainbow flag on a fucking empty island out of spite. and i’m talking empty. no inhabitants. zero. it was a flat piece of land with a bit of dry grass. now it has a camp site and a post office.  they have a declaration of independence that talks a bit about gay rights and then just flat out copies the “life liberty and the pursuit of happiness” part from the american declaration of independence. and here’s the best part: the founding group actually elected their emperor. he was originally going to be called the “administrator” of a republic. their website, however, says that “upon legal advice, his title was changed to that of Sovereign on the grounds that under Australian law a defacto prince trying to claim his crown cannot be charged with treason”. so they made it a kingdom and he now claims to be a descendent of edward ii. everything about this is glorious and everyone should know about it. Keep reading Not one of you mentioned that the anthem for this nation is I Am What I Am by Gloria Gaynor. Not. One. Of. You.
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Cute, James Bond, and Shit: LEATHERDOS aerois: glitterdustedwren: somajesticdonki: fearlessjones: naamahdarling: fallen-angel-nightshade: nonbinaryanders: justsomefuckingguy: captcreate: odditymall: The Leatherdos is a hair clip that doubles as a multi-tool that combines 5 different tools in a tiny hair clip: screw-drivers, a wrench, a trolley coin, a ruler, and a cutting edge. —-http://odditymall.com/leatherdos-is-a-hair-clip-multi-tool This some of that James Bond shit. Swiss Army Hairclip Imagine you get kidnapped or some shit, how useful that might be? FINALLY!!! Lightly hot glue a flower to it and you could make it cute and frilly without sacrificing functionality. Low temp hot glue pops right off. this is some Kingsman shit right here @mysterysolver Fun story: I have one of these, and wore it every day while working as a vet assistant at a pet clinic. One day a kitten comes in with a cord knotted around her neck, and everyone’s trying to get it unknotted before she heads in for her spay. I just whip off the hair clip, grab the cord, and slice through it in one go. Everyone stood there, surprised, and stared at the cord in my hand that I just sawed through with a hair clip.  This would be AMAZING if you got kidnapped, or, in this case, a pet gets tangled in something. It’s very light and flexible, but the insides of the teeth are sharp enough to get the job done. Y’all are close, but not quite there. This isn’t James Bond, this isn’t Kingsman; this is some Totally Spies shit we’re looking at, and it’s glorious
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Blade, Blessed, and Books: The Elder Scrolls III The elder Scrolls MORROWINTD MORROWIND e9 Do not mm ORK Media company.The Elder Scrolls, Morrowind Bink Video, Copynight 1997-2001 by RAD Game of the Year Edition mvention of copy pro strictly prohibited.Confide SAFETY INFORMATION TABLE OF CONTENTS Introduction Main Menu Gameplay Controls The Game Screen Stats Menu Inventory Menu Magic Menu Map Menu Races Attributes Derived Attributes Combat Arts ABOUT PHOTOSENSITIVE SEIZURES A very small percentage of people may visual images, including flashing lights or patterns that may appear Even people who have no history of seizures or epilepsy may have a condition that can cause these photosensitve epileptic seizures while watching video experience a seizure when exposed to certain in video games. n undiagnosed These seizures may have a variety of symptoms including: lightheadedness vision, eye or face twitching, jerking or shaking of arms or legs, disorientation entation confusion, or momentary loss of awareness. Seizures may also cause loss of consciousness or convulsions that can lead to injury from falling down or strikina nearby objects. 16 mmediately stop playing and consult a doctor if you experience any of these symptoms Parents should watch for or ask their children about hildren and teenagers are more likely than adults to experience these seizures. The the above symptoms. 19 Stealth Arts of photosensitive epileptic seizures may be reduced by sitting farther from the using a smaller television screen, playing in a well-lit room, and not Combat Classes Magic Classes Stealth Classes en you are drowsy or fatigued of your relatives have a history of seizures or epilepsy, consult a doctor Increasing Your Skills and Leveling Up Weapons R IMPORTANT HEALTH AND SAFETY INFORMATION 28 29 30 .30 30 ox Instruction Manual contains important safety and health information that Using Weapons, Repairing Weapons & Armor u should read and understand before using this software School of Conjuration VOID DAMAGE TO YOUR TELEVISION School of Illusion School of Destruction not use with certain televisions. Some televisions, especially front- or rear-projection pes, can be damaged if any video games, including Xbox games, are played on them. tatic images presented during the normal course of game play may burn in to the creen, causing a permanent shadow of the static image to appear at all times, even when video games are not being played. Similar damage may occur from static images eated when placing a video game on hold or pause. Consult your television owner's nanual to determine if video games can be safely played safely on your set. If you are unable to find this information in the owner's manual, contact your television dealer or School of Restoration School of Mysticism School of Alteration Abilities, Powers, Diseases, Spells. 34 35 36 Magic Items, Magic Scrolls Spellmaking Enchanting 39 the manufacturer to determine if video games can be played safely on your set. I Unauthorized copying, reverse engineering, transmission, public performance, rental, Potions, Alchemy Stealth pay for play, or circumvention of copy protection is strictly prohibited 42 Books, Journal. Containers, Resting and Waiting, Fast Travel, Crime and Jail. Loading and Saving Preferences Credits .46 The Elder Scrolls III: Morrowind The Elder ScI: Morrowind CREATING YOUR CHARACTER When you first start, you mu entered in your Name, you'l be asked to select a Race, Class, and Bithsign ist decide what kind of player you will be. After you've DARK ELF In the Empire, "Dark Elf is the common usage, but in their Morrowind homeland, they call themselves the "Dunmer." The dark-skinned, red-eyed Dunmer combine powerful intellect with strong and agile physiques, producing superior warriors and sorcerers. On the battlefield, Dark Elves are noted for their skilled and balanced integration of swordsmen, marksmen, and war wizards. RACES You may choose from 10 races commonly encountered in MORROWIND. Since each race has unique abilities, selecting your race is one of the most important decisions vou'll make. ARGONIAN Little is known and less is understood about the reptilian denizens of Black Marsh. Years of defending their borders have made the Argonians experts in guerilla warfare, and their Skill Bonuses: Long Blade +5, Destruction +10, Light Armor +5, Athletics +5, Mysticism +5, Marksman +5, Short Blade +10 Specials: Ancestor Guardian, Resistant to Fire natural abilities make them equally at home in water and on land. They are well suited for the treacherous swamps of their homeland, and have developed natural immunities to the diseases and poisons that have doomed many would-be explorers of the region. HIGH ELF The High Elves, or Altmer, are the proud, tall, golden- skinned peoples of Summerset Isle. The common tongue of the Empire, Tamrielic, is based on their speech and writing, and most of the Empire's arts, crafts, and sciences are derived from High Elven traditions. Deft, intelligent, and strong-willed, High Elves are often gifted in the arcane arts, and are far more resistant to disease than the lesser races. Skill Bonuses: Alchemy +5, Athletics +15,Illusion +5, Medium Armor +5, Mysticism +5 Spear +5, Unarmored+5 Specials: Resist Disease, Immune to Poison, Water Breathing Skill: Destruction +10, Enchant +10, Alchemy +10, Alteration +5, Conjuration +5,Illusion +5 Specials: Fortified Maximum Magicka, Weakness to Magicka, Fire, Frost, and Shock, Resistant to Disease BRETON Bretons feel an inborn, instinctive bond with the mercurial forces of magic and the supernatural. Many great sorcerers have IMPERIAL Natives of the civilized, cosmopolitan province of Cyrodiil, the Imperials are well-educated and well- spoken. Though physically less imposing than the other races, the Imperials have proved to be shrewd diplomats and traders. These traits, along with their remarkable skill and training as light infantry, have enabled them to subdue all the other provinces and to have erected the monument to peace and prosperity that comprises the Glorious Empire. from the home province of High Rock, and in addition to their quick and perceptive grasp of spellcraft, enchantment, and alchemy, even the humblest of Bretons boast a high resistance to destructive and dominating magical energies. Skill Bonuses: Conjuration +10, Mysticism +10, Restoration +10, Alchemy +5, Alteration +5 Illusion +5 pecials: Fortified Maximum Magicka, Dragon Skin, Resist Magicka SKILL BONUSES: Speechcraft+10, Mercantile+10, Long Blade +10, Blunt Weapon +S, Light Armor +5, Hand to Hand +5 SPECIALS: Star of the West, Voice of the Emperor The Elder Scrolls III: Morrowind 13 The Elder crlsIII: Morowind BIRTHSIGNS In Tamriel, persons born under certain constellations are said to be fortunate in their aspects', Such persons are often blessed-or cursed- with remarkable abilities or weaknesses as a result of the magical conjunctions of celestíal influences. STEALTH SPECIALIZED CLASSES THIEVES Thieves are pickpockets and pilferers. Unlike robbers, who kill and loot, thieves typically choose stealth and subterfuge over violence, and often entertain romantic notions of their charm and in their acquisitive activities cleverness THE APPRENTICE Those bom under the sign of The Apprentice have increased Magicka, but also have a weakness to it. AGENTS atives skilled in deception and avoidance, but dasTHE ATRONACH trained in self-defense and the use of deadly force. Self-reliant and independent, agents devote themselves to personal goals, or to various patrons or causes. Those born under the sign of The Atronach cannot regenerate Magicka, but have a chance of absorbing any magic cast at them. THE LADY Those born under the sign of The Lady have increased Endurande and Personality. ASSASSINS Assassins are killers who rely on stealth and mobility to approach victims undetected. Execution is performed with ranged weapons or with short blades for close work. Assassins can be ruthless murderers or principled agents of noble causes. THE LORD Those born under the sign of The Lord can regenerate Health, but are weak to fire THE LOVER Those born under the sign of The Lover have increased Agility and can paralyze others with a kiss. ACROBATS Acrobať' is a polite euphemism for agile burglars and second-story men, These thieves avoid detection by stealth, and rely on mobility and cunning to avoid capture. THE MAGE Those born under the sign of The Mage have increased Magicka. MONKS Monks are students of the ancient martial arts of hand-to-hand combat and unarmored self-defense. Monks avoid detection by stealth, mobility, and agility, and are skilled with a variety of ranged and close-combat weapons. THE RITUAL Those born under the sign of The Ritual can heal themselves and turn undead. THE SERPENT Those born under the sign of The Serpent can poison others at a loss of PILGRIMS Pilgrims are travelers, seekers of truth and enlightenment. They fortify themselves for road and wilderness with arms, armor, and magic, and through wide experience of the world, they become shrewd in commerce and persuasion their own Health. THE SHADOW Those born under the sign of The Shadow can make themselves invisible. THE STEED Those born under the sign of The Steed can move faster BARDS Bards are loremasters and storytellers. They crave adventure for the wisdom and insight to be gained, and must depend on sword shield, spell, and enchantment to preserve them from the perils of their educational experiences THE THIEF Those born under the sign of The Thief are harder to hit. THE TOWER detect things at a distance. Those born under the sign of The Warrior have an increased chance Those born under the sign of The Tower can unlock doors magically and THE WARRIOR 25 I miss the days when games came with manuals

I miss the days when games came with manuals

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God, Oh My God, and Saw: supersugoiboi: violetohara: the-polyhedron: conquerorwurm: violetohara: violetohara: violetohara: violetohara: Tiny dirty stray kitten hanging out at the bottom of our stairs since yesterday. There are a lot of self-reliant ferals around our apartment, but this little thing was dirty covered in burrs. We gave it some chicken but couldn’t catch it. I think it may have wandered over from the outdoor cat hoarder colony down the street; that house is awful we saw kittens there last week. This morning the downstairs neighbor managed to grab it for us, and I put it on this cozy towel started combing and picking the burrs sticks out of its fur. It calmed down immediately and has been chilling here with me in the kitchen ever since. Got a vet appointment in an hour to get my little buddy cleaned up checked out. I hope it isn’t too sick; I think it might have a cold. If we can, we are probably going to keep her. What a difference a day makes! Took this little guy to the vet, got the fleas and dirt washed off him, got some antibiotics for a slight cold, but he is otherwise fine. Kneading and purring up a storm, eating a lot and being heart-crushingly adorable.  We have named this glorious creature Nux. A little over a month later and Nux is growing into a very long and floppy shoulder cat! Oh my god!!!! i’m so happy for this cat i hope nux knows im proud of him I just told him!

supersugoiboi: violetohara: the-polyhedron: conquerorwurm: violetohara: violetohara: violetohara: violetohara: Tiny dirty stray ...

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Ass, Fall, and Hail Mary: I almost died today. Here is the true story So Iwas derping in my backyard today, picking up dog crap. The whole time, my dog was just sitting there watching me, enjoying the sight. So I go to the small section in between my trampoline and my fence. Now if any of you haven't seen my trampoline, it is really old and there are these black foam things on the bars that used to hold up a net, but they are mostly destroyed now. So I walk in the narrow space, and I get completely covered by the hugest web I've ever felt. All over my face, all over my chest and shoulders. I freak out, but I realize that there is no worries. I see no spider, and it would have to be a big ass spider to concoct such a glorious web. Well, sure enough, in the middle of my struggle to break free, I look up, and slowly, ever so slowly, I see the huge, black-brown mass of a spider about the size of my fist crawl out of some old, decaying foam protectors. I stare at it; it stares back. I look closely for any threads connecting us, and there, glinting back at me with sunlight, is one strand of spider web, connecting the hulk spider to my face. It realizes the fact at the same time as me, and thinks, "Yes! This boy's eye sockets will make excellent breeding holes for my eggs!! and starts a full on crawling sprint towards me. I freak out, and begin to struggle even more and more to release myself from this web. It reaches the halfway mark and sees me begin to escape, so it goes for gold. The Hail Mary play. A daring leap straight for the head. Time slows down. This thing has all legs extended, blocking out the sun. A sure death for me. My left arm breaks free from the web. This could be my chance! A quick and decisive left cross reaches the spider JUST in time knocking the behemoth against the fence. It looks dazed; begins to squirm around on the ground, preparing for a counteroffensive. I don't give it a chance. I take the poop shovel in both my hands, shout a battle cry of pure victorious slaughter and smash my enemy into a crumpled pile, each strike emanating a loud crunch of the monster's body.I emerge the survivor in this battle. Thank you video games, for my improved reaction time, lest I fall victim to fate Unlike Comment Share 3 hours ago you should probably go to TheMetaPicture.com epicjohndoe: This Man Should Write A Novel
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