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Ass, Crazy, and Fucking: Anonymous said to spill-the-gender-tea: things I've picked up on that are pretty tumblr are BIG eyes with a ton of eyelashes, sparkles in eyes, and everyone has painted black/purple nails I don't know why Anonymous said to spill-the-gender-tea: Tumblr Art Style TM -Heavily blushed noses. Like, red noses. -Colourful band-aids all over the body -Body hair drawn in little stick lines -some sort of pride flag being worn -if it's a white character, the character might be "racebent" and made into a POC -winking -Trans men are drawn with huge breasts and pronounced curves, trans women are drawn very muscular with typically masculine features a shirt that says some sort of political statement Anonymous said to spill-the-gender-tea Steven universe style, bright neon colors Agaisnt dull greyish colors or too pastel to see anything, bright red giant nose, circle eyes half closed with greasy purple eye lids, ambiguous shade of brown, ""non binary", overly detailed hands, no concept of anatomy, try to make it ugly as to fight what "evil straight cis het white men" find attractive, ""pride flags absolutely everywhere. uwu-doughboy said to spill-the-gender-tea: So a tumblr art style is basically kind of simple with too much detail on a specific part or two (ie. body hair real thick, mouths that look like prolapsed anuses, the like) spill-the-gender-tea: Anonymous said to Heres a few things for the "tumblr art" thing, Tons of body hair Almost always have a "soft boy uwu" vibe to them. Crazy colored, short hair. Normally very cartoony, with over-exagerated 'ugly features Anonymous said to spill-the-gender-tea: one thing ive noticed about the tumblr art styles is that they usually have big noses followed by a tilted smile Anonymous said to spill-the-gender-tea: Tumblr art style: Red-ass noses, very round heads, no defined calves, no joints, giant fucking hair Anonymous said to spill-the-gender-tea: Tumblr art styles almost always consist of overweight, dark skinned (even if the character in question is white) people. A lot of the times they have vitiligo (which is extremely rare) and don't forget to make it look like a racial stereotype because Tumblr finds that progressive! xe 围委R. @Spill-The-Gender-Tea spill-the-gender-tea:I decided to draw a picture according to tumblr鈥檚 art style.
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Ass, Bad, and Crime: wait, you're jewish? i wanna die so bad right now -waaaaay too tall -blood is 3% soda -literally murders innocents and is still widely considered a "smol bean" -good relationship with their mom -hobbies range from making origami to plotting to blow up the moon -really their height is just unreasonable and very intimidating i heard you've been saying some shit grandparents live in korea -little ball of anger -uses napalm as moisturiser -no one is sure if they're actually racist or not thinks they can speak german -lists "kicking inanimate objects" as a hobby got sold fake cocaine once about me on your blog -damaged -iterally no one can bring themselves to like -communicates only in grunts -writes terrible fiction -goes out of their way to upset others -trying desperately to hide the gay (failing) -says shit like "adios" (doesn't speak spanish -leaves agressive voicemails -used to be emo -gets drunk and stabs inanimate objects -has an alien girlfriends and also 700 alter egos -is 103% sure that the world is out to get them way too many Ns little miss finland turns to camera in shock ADAM supreme gentleman -absolutely deplorable shoves an american flag up their ass most mornings takes selfies everywhere -everywhere i said loves their pets -finds depressive thinking arousing horrible handwriting tries. fails. -wants to be Wait, You're Jewish? but can't does rude shit but no one can stay -uses air quotes to patronise others -"feminism is stupid" -can't get laid -has probably had lip injections. and ego injections. "why do girls always go for douchebags" -wears sunglasses indoors. at night. in december. after the last star in the galaxy has burned out. mad at them -all gods are fictional except for themselfays gets asked for I.D. -makes fun of soccer moms but doesn't act hasn't taken a flattering photo in 7 -says weird shit 97% of the time -wears t-shirts with edgy slogans -has v few friends but the friendships they clasifies self as a "cool kid" will not get a haircut hasn't slept ever do have a frighteningly intense 56 brennan's burger bundies gets what they want because they are-worships satan -known as the zodiac killer -takes off their glasses and becomes ets morbid sense of humour that occasionally gets them in trouble wants to have you (over) for dinner behaves drunk while sober and also while drunk. -vastly overestimates their ability to get away with things -does absolutely nothing in a group project and no one gets mad -dog person -has brushed their teeth less than 7 times since birth probably borrowed their cheekbones off a meth addict -greasy grease on top of their grease jeffreysdrunk: luvoxxx: Okeeey so I don鈥檛 usually post stuff but a friend of mine asked me to make a true crime tag yourself and I thought tumblr might appreciate it. I have no idea why there鈥檚 like 400 typos in it I swear English is my first language wtf. Anyway it鈥檚 just a meme it鈥檚 not meant to be disrespectful or gross or anything please enjoy my completely unfunny sense of humour. (Also I blatantly stole the d a m a g e d thing from another tag yourself I apologise) I鈥檓 grandparents live in Korea and Dahmer lol Way too many Ns *turns to camera in shock* Adam
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America, Baked, and Cookies: Andy Richter and 2 others liked A TINy Beefsteak @TenderBeefste.. , 9h If my calculations are correct, biscuits and Triscuits hint towards a mysterious third food called "monoscuits." correspondingnerd: brunhiddensmusings: cameoamalthea: brunhiddensmusings: threeraccoonsinatrenchcoat: badgerofshambles: a singular scuit. just one.聽 an edible cracker with just one side. mathematically impossible and yet here I am monching on it. 鈥榮cuit鈥 comes from the french word for 鈥榖ake鈥, 鈥榗uire鈥 as bastardized by adoption by the brittish and a few hundred years鈥榖iscuit鈥 meant 鈥榯wice-baked鈥, originally meaning items like hardtack which were double baked to dry them as a preservative measure long before things like sugar and butter were introduced. if you see a historical doccument use the word 鈥榖iscuit鈥 do not be fooled to think 鈥榖eing a pirate mustve been pretty cool, they ate nothing but cookies鈥 - they were made of misery to last long enough to be used in museum displays or as paving stones 鈥榯riscuit鈥 is toasted after the normal biscuit process, thrice bakedthus the monoscuit is a cookie thats soft and chewy because it was only baked once, not twice behold the monoscuit/scuit Why is this called a biscuit: when brittish colonists settled in the americas they no longer had to preserve biscuits for storage or sea voyages so instead baked them once and left them soft, often with buttermilk or whey to convert cheap staples/byproducts into filling items to bulk out the meal to make a small amount of greasy meat feed a whole family. considering hardtack biscuits were typically eaten by dipping them in grease or gravy untill they became soft enough to eat without breaking a tooth this was a pretty short leap of 鈥榡ust dont make them rock hard if im not baking for the army鈥 but didnt drop the name because its been used for centuries and people forgot its french for 鈥榯wice baked鈥 back in the tudor era, biscuit was just a lump of cooked dough that wasnt leavened bread as far as they caredthus the buttermilk biscuit and the hardtack biscuit existed at the same time. 鈥榗ookies鈥 then came to america via german and dutch immigrants as tiny cakes made with butter, sugar/molasses, and eggs before 鈥榯ea biscuits鈥 as england knew them due to the new availability of cheap sugar- which is why 鈥榖iscuit鈥 and 鈥榗ookie鈥 are separate items in america but the same item in the UKthe evolution of the biscuit has forks on its family tree I love it when a shitpost turns into an actually interesting post.
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America, Baked, and Cookies: Andy Richter and 2 others liked A TINy Beefsteak @TenderBeefste.. , 9h If my calculations are correct, biscuits and Triscuits hint towards a mysterious third food called "monoscuits." correspondingnerd: brunhiddensmusings: cameoamalthea: brunhiddensmusings: threeraccoonsinatrenchcoat: badgerofshambles: a singular scuit. just one.聽 an edible cracker with just one side. mathematically impossible and yet here I am monching on it. 鈥榮cuit鈥 comes from the french word for 鈥榖ake鈥, 鈥榗uire鈥 as bastardized by adoption by the brittish and a few hundred years鈥榖iscuit鈥 meant 鈥榯wice-baked鈥, originally meaning items like hardtack which were double baked to dry them as a preservative measure long before things like sugar and butter were introduced. if you see a historical doccument use the word 鈥榖iscuit鈥 do not be fooled to think 鈥榖eing a pirate mustve been pretty cool, they ate nothing but cookies鈥 - they were made of misery to last long enough to be used in museum displays or as paving stones 鈥榯riscuit鈥 is toasted after the normal biscuit process, thrice bakedthus the monoscuit is a cookie thats soft and chewy because it was only baked once, not twice behold the monoscuit/scuit Why is this called a biscuit: when brittish colonists settled in the americas they no longer had to preserve biscuits for storage or sea voyages so instead baked them once and left them soft, often with buttermilk or whey to convert cheap staples/byproducts into filling items to bulk out the meal to make a small amount of greasy meat feed a whole family. considering hardtack biscuits were typically eaten by dipping them in grease or gravy untill they became soft enough to eat without breaking a tooth this was a pretty short leap of 鈥榡ust dont make them rock hard if im not baking for the army鈥 but didnt drop the name because its been used for centuries and people forgot its french for 鈥榯wice baked鈥 back in the tudor era, biscuit was just a lump of cooked dough that wasnt leavened bread as far as they caredthus the buttermilk biscuit and the hardtack biscuit existed at the same time. 鈥榗ookies鈥 then came to america via german and dutch immigrants as tiny cakes made with butter, sugar/molasses, and eggs before 鈥榯ea biscuits鈥 as england knew them due to the new availability of cheap sugar- which is why 鈥榖iscuit鈥 and 鈥榗ookie鈥 are separate items in america but the same item in the UKthe evolution of the biscuit has forks on its family tree I love it when a shitpost turns into an actually interesting post.
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Fresh, Reddit, and Shower: You avoided it at all costs. You showered three times a day. You washed your hands and face after every meal You stayed inside, away from the beating sun and omnipresent moisture You wormed away from every occasion that involved a greasy meal. You couldn't stand it. One day, you woke up in a bed that was oozing You were relieved when you realized you didn't soil yourself. You were horrified when you realized you were soaking in a bed of your own sweat. You scrambled for the shower. You ignored the split splat noises your feet made as you rushedc You turned the faucet, and let the refreshing water wash over you. It wasn't enough. The grease was still in every pore and every fold of your body. You grab the soap and start scrubbing. And scrubbing. And scrubbing. It's surprisingly easy Skin gives way to fat, which gives way to bone. All the lard and cholesterol melts, slips between your fingers, and disappears down the drain in a soapy slurry But it isn't enough. You don't stop, even as the shower floor gains a fresh coat of gunk. It's on you. It's on you and it's staining you and it' s in you and it is you and it won't come off. You start scraping, scraping, trying to get it off. You reach deep inside. First, it's like trying to peel bark off of a tree. Then, it feels like grating a block of wax. Finally, it starts melting under the torrent of shower water. Curdles of osseous matter drift down into the floor and into the flood. Every last bit of you disappears into the drain Finally, you're clean [Src]

[Src]

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America, Baked, and Cookies: Andy Richter and 2 others liked A TINy Beefsteak @TenderBeefste... . 9h If my calculations are correct, biscuits and Triscuits hint towards a mysterious third food called "monoscuits. badgerofshambles a singular scuit. just one. threeraccoonsinatrenchcoat an edible cracker with just one side. mathematically impossible and yet here I am monching on it. brunhiddensmusings scuit comes from the french word for bake', 'cuire' as bastardized by adoption by the brittish and a few hundred years biscuit meant twice-baked', originally meaning items like hardtack which were double baked to dry them as a preservative measure long before things like sugar and butter were introduced. if you see a historical doccument use the word 'biscuit' do not be fooled to think 'being a pirate mustve been pretty cool, they ate nothing but cookies' - they were made of misery to last long enough to be used in museum displays or as paving stones 1862 Hardtack fromof bread was that to The The triscuit' is toasted after the normal biscu it process, thrice baked thus the monoscuit is a cookie thats soft and chewy because it was only baked once, not twice behold the monoscuitscuit cameoamalthea Why is this called a biscuit: brunhiddensmusings when brittish colonists settled in the americas they no longer had to preserve biscuits for storage or sea voyages so instead baked them once and left them soft, often with buttermilk or whey to convert cheap staples/byproducts into filling items to bulk out the meal to make a small amount of greasy meat feed a whole family. considering hardtack biscuits were typically eaten by dipping them in grease or gravy untill they became soft enough to eat without breakinga tooth this was a pretty short leap of just dont make them rock hard if im not baking for the army' but didnt drop the name because its been used for centuries and people forgot its french for twice baked' back in the tudor era, biscuit was just a lump of cooked dough that wasnt leavened bread as far as they cared thus the the same time. 'cookies' then came to america via german and dutch immigrants as tiny cakes made with butter sugar/molasses, and eggs before 'tea biscuits' as england knew them due to the new availability of cheap sugar- which is why 'biscuit and 'cookie' are separate items in america but the same item in the UK buttermilk biscuit and the hardtack biscuit existed at the evolution of the biscuit has forks on its family tree Source: authumor 36,507 notes Monobiscuit

Monobiscuit

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Gif, God, and Oh My God: SHNOMF NOMF HORMF HOM I've gots to get my rib on! Uh oh! Looks like Doris could use the cleaning power of SHINE BRIGHT clothing soap! WHO IN THE SHIT- Shunc SHINE BRIGHT cuts right through that greasy barbeque sauce with our special patented cleansing chemicals called "Cleansicals"! called "Cleansicals",- Ah, good as new! WOAH! WOAH WHAT?? You may have a sparkling clean blouse, Doris, but you'l always be stuck with that filthy personality! Just the way mama likes it!! Squa Now giddafuckout ma house <p><a href="http://mrs-jamie-wellerstein.tumblr.com/post/138518643212/writebastard-aragorn1379-ginjaninja3716" class="tumblr_blog">mrs-jamie-wellerstein</a>:</p><blockquote> <p><a class="tumblr_blog" href="http://writebastard.tumblr.com/post/127122394113">writebastard</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a class="tumblr_blog" href="http://aragorn1379.tumblr.com/post/92875965119">aragorn1379</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a class="tumblr_blog" href="http://ginjaninja3716.tumblr.com/post/75118855340">ginjaninja3716</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a class="tumblr_blog" href="http://commandereyebrows.tumblr.com/post/62641962273">commandereyebrows</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a class="tumblr_blog" href="http://chachipistachis.tumblr.com/post/54218909712">chachipistachis</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a class="tumblr_blog" href="http://theamericankid.tumblr.com/post/50529088111">theamericankid</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p>Tumblr needs more of this鈥.whatever this is. </p> </blockquote> <p>Is this the same artist who made the original for this</p> <p><figure class="tmblr-full" data-orig-height="700" data-orig-width="400" data-orig-src="https://78.media.tumblr.com/1837009b5f0203b2fff97d90580f310e/tumblr_inline_mp6ki8tQHB1qz4rgp.gif"><img src="https://78.media.tumblr.com/ff73092818e65657206f4d9fd35f52d6/tumblr_inline_p7jwl8vGjP1qfcjfm_540.gif" class="toggle_inline_image inline_image constrained_image" data-orig-height="700" data-orig-width="400" data-orig-src="https://78.media.tumblr.com/1837009b5f0203b2fff97d90580f310e/tumblr_inline_mp6ki8tQHB1qz4rgp.gif"/></figure></p> </blockquote> <p>how women actually are</p> </blockquote> <p>OH MY GOD IF I DON鈥橳 EVER REBLOG THIS IT鈥橲 PROBABLY BECAUSE I鈥橫 DEAD</p> </blockquote> <p>mother fuckin macys sale</p> </blockquote> <p>Her name is Doris. <a href="http://b1nd1.deviantart.com/art/Doris-156093096">Here鈥檚 the artist</a>. And here鈥檚 more <br/>Doris:<br/></p> <figure class="tmblr-full" data-orig-height="810" data-orig-width="381" data-orig-src="https://78.media.tumblr.com/e6b207e4d5e9dea49ba7097fca1ae419/tumblr_inline_ntcxu56hpD1qjqk20_540.jpg"><img src="https://78.media.tumblr.com/b69f7f952ee0b9a2ac0a9f31063ac211/tumblr_inline_p7jwl9BOLX1qfcjfm_540.jpg" data-orig-height="810" data-orig-width="381" data-orig-src="https://78.media.tumblr.com/e6b207e4d5e9dea49ba7097fca1ae419/tumblr_inline_ntcxu56hpD1qjqk20_540.jpg"/></figure></blockquote> <p>I have a physical need to reblog this every time.</p> </blockquote>
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Ass, Baseball, and Fall: jpg (46 KB, 1024x683) No.46363786 Anonymous 18 min. ago >be me >working register at mcd's like a fucking wagie mom and son come up >absolute units, their hands were fucking round perfectly fucking round, like a baseball little blob holding a small fish bowl, maybe they came back from Walmart after getting a fish poor fish, probably doesn't even get his ration of the fish food one of those families that has each family member go up to order for themselves hate these kinds of families mama blob starts ordering out of breath from standing in line >slams her elbows down onto the counter to rest while ordering could have fucking swore i heard the counter rumble yaah *pant* could i have a *pant* ahhhhh *pant* big Mac *pant* make that two actually... *pant* no three.... and a *pant* basket of fries and *pant* a large diet coke sweat beads fall down from her chins onto the table breathes in sharply struggles to take elbows off of table finally accomplishes the task finally accomplishes the task two huge wet marks take up the register section those are her fucking elbows her elbows actually fucking sweated little blob comes up to order "can i have 2 big Macs pant* a basket of fries.. *pant* make that two actually *pant* and a large diet Coke *pant* brings fish bowl out onto counter "and... *pant* fill this up *pant* with chocolate *pant* milkshake >a fucking fishbowl sorry, our largest size is a large. we cannot fill things that aren't McDonalds cups mama blob starts throwing a tantrum "HE WANTS HIS FUCKING MILKSHAKE SO GIVE IT TO HIM" maam, we cann >"LET ME SPEAK TO YOUR GOD DAMN MANAGER go get manager >he just repeats what I said tells her she can buy about 10 large milkshakes to fill it if she wants "DAS TOO EXPENSIVE!!!" "TOO MUCH CALORIES!!!" >me and manager stare at each other did she really just say that mama blob sees us looking at each other cont. whole restaurant has been quiet this whole time just looking at us >mama blob hears something turns her body to look backward >a gentle greasy breeze hits me >sees a couple people snickering turns back around "YOURE EMBARRASSING ME!!" >me and manager stay silent tears start to well up in her eyes could have just been sweat though face turns redder grabs her son's hand "WE'RE NEVER EATING HERE AGAIN!" >something deep down told me that wasn't true >pulls her son's hand waddles out hear her panting as she opens the door notice something >me and manager both notice it look at each other there was something brown in the middle of Hammy's ass could it be could it fucking be look at her legs brown liquid streaking the inside of her right leg >she sharted >she actually fucking sharted and left a brown trail had to febreeze the fuck out of that place for 5 minutes janitor almost puked cleaning it up Hammy &amp; Boy: A Shitty Quest for Fishbowl Milkshake
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Family, Tumblr, and Blog: ginbottles:Family photo! (ft some greasy and messy boys)

ginbottles:Family photo! (ft some greasy and messy boys)

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