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Bad, Fucking, and Funny: There's a thing called "Rubber duck debugging" in which a programmer explains the code to a rubber duck in hopes of finding the bug Ultrafacts.tumblr.com ultrafacts tmblr.com ATultrafacts Source absorr Some of you are reblogging because you think its funny that programmers would talk to ducks. I'm reblogging because I think its funny picturing a programmer explaining their code, realizing what they did when they explain the bad code, then grabbing the strangling the duck while yelling "WHY WAS THE FIX THAT SIMPLE!? AM I GOING BLIND!" monobeartheater AS A PROGRAMMER I CAN TELL YOU THAT THIS IS EXACTLY WHAT YOU FUCKING DO WE HAD TO BAN THE DUCKS FROM MY CLASSES BECAUSE EVERYONE WOULD FLIP THE DUCK OR THROW IT AT A WALL OR SOMETHING WHEN THEY FIGURED OUT THE PROBLEM IN THEIR CODE kierenwalkerpds so that's the function of a rubber duck lifeofdavo ΑΛΛΛΛΛΛΛΛΛΛΑ cosrnos work at a startup and part of the onboarding package you get when you first start working here now includes a rubber duck. We also have a bigger version of the duck for the extra hard problems. Sometimes one duck doesn't cut it and you need to borrow your neighbors to get more ducks on the problem. One time we couldn't figure out why something wasn't working right so we assembled the counsel of ducks and by the grace of the Duck Gods were we able to finally come to a solution. These ducks have saved many lives and should be respected for the heroes they are. May the Duck Gods watch over you.
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Complex, Drugs, and Gif: There are dealbreakers, too. Anyone who regularly Netflix-binges engages in social activism, or wears mascara more than twice a week is going to have to look elsewhere. "This may not be the right place," the Startup Castle says, if you - Watch more than 4 hours of TV/movie/game entertainment per week - Have more than 1 tattoo - Have ever attended more than 1 protest Make more than three posts a week to social media Listen to a songs with explicit lyrics more than an once a day Wear make-up more than twice a weelk - Own any clothing, shoes, watches, or handbags costing over $500 - Have bills that get paid by somebody else Drive a vehicle that was given to you by your parents - Get regular spending money or gifts from your parents - Have more than one internet app date per week - Have a complex diet that requires lots of refrigerator space - Drink alcohol more than 3 drinks per week - Use marijuana more than twice a year - Have been prescribed anything by a psychiatrist more than once - Use any other drug more than twice in your entire ajani-on-the-spot: gehayi: berlynn-wohl: hapabap: nazerine: plasmalogical: paxamericana: Silicon Valley’s ‘Startup Castle’ is looking for roommates, and the requirements are completely bonkers good thing i listen to exactly one song with explicit lyrics every day I’ve been saying this for a while but Startup Bro is the new and terrifying lovechild of the brogrammer and the business major and he is somehow even more self-centered and bigoted than either of them No, no, guys, look closely. This house is looking for extremely physically fit young men (No drugs, no makeup, no special diet, exercise 15 hrs a week) who are passive and docile (no protests, no music lyrics with swears) who, most of all, will not be missed if they disappear (very little social media presence, not rich enough to own expensive luxury items, no need to constantly be in contact with their parents over bills/gifts, few identifying markings like tattoos) This is obviously an organ harvesting operation. Actually it turned out that the guy who was running it wanted to create a quasi-paramilitary organization. There were so many horror stories about the place in the news that the landlord evicted everyone. (Gotta say, though, that I like the organ harvesting scheme better.) “It would have been better to have found out this was an organ harvesting scheme” is not a sentiment I expected to see today, and yet.

ajani-on-the-spot: gehayi: berlynn-wohl: hapabap: nazerine: plasmalogical: paxamericana: Silicon Valley’s ‘Startup Castle’ is lookin...

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Apple, Fall, and God: ++ProfCupcake 4.8k points 15 days ago -You can't call yourself a real programmer unless you built the chip yourself Reply Share Report Save ++qsdf321 2.6k points 15 days ago Only if you've mined the silicon manually Reply Share Report Save ++ProfCupcake 1.5k points 15 days ago -- Pff. Amateur. You're only a real programmer if you planted the silicon in the rock yourself. Reply Share Report Save ++ 2Punx2Furious us _ well, I was part of the star that went supernova and made all the silicon on 1.0k points 15 days ago earth, so I kind of did (but so are you) Reply Share Report Save ++morphoyle 503 points15 days ago -I already invented the universe in an attempt to make an apple pie Does that count? Reply Share Report Save ++signalwave 431 points 15 days ago -- Can we talk? I have a few... feature requests. Reply Share Report Save ++MyceliumSpirit 258 points 15 days ago -- Personally would like some bugs fixed Reply Share Report Save ++Nekopawed 445 points 15 days ago -- Fixed memory dump when walking into a new room Fixed issue where eyelash, that is meant to prevent things falling into your eye, would fall into your eye Patched dreams.dll to allow for lucid dreaming as a startup parameter Removed dream where you forgot you had a class you needed to graduate from the dream rotation. Nerfed damage from stubbing toe to slight discomfort from near fatal. Made common sense a common trait from uncommon. Added garbage collection for inside of eyes to reduce impact of floaters. Fixed issue where cells would randomly start replicating out of control causing a fatal crash before end of product life Reply Share Report Save ++devoxel 165 points 15 days ago If god was a programmer

If god was a programmer

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Complex, Drugs, and Gif: There are dealbreakers, too. Anyone who regularly Netflix-binges engages in social activism, or wears mascara more than twice a week is going to have to look elsewhere. "This may not be the right place," the Startup Castle says, if you - Watch more than 4 hours of TV/movie/game entertainment per week - Have more than 1 tattoo - Have ever attended more than 1 protest Make more than three posts a week to social media Listen to a songs with explicit lyrics more than an once a day Wear make-up more than twice a weelk - Own any clothing, shoes, watches, or handbags costing over $500 - Have bills that get paid by somebody else Drive a vehicle that was given to you by your parents - Get regular spending money or gifts from your parents - Have more than one internet app date per week - Have a complex diet that requires lots of refrigerator space - Drink alcohol more than 3 drinks per week - Use marijuana more than twice a year - Have been prescribed anything by a psychiatrist more than once - Use any other drug more than twice in your entire ajani-on-the-spot: gehayi: berlynn-wohl: hapabap: nazerine: plasmalogical: paxamericana: Silicon Valley’s ‘Startup Castle’ is looking for roommates, and the requirements are completely bonkers good thing i listen to exactly one song with explicit lyrics every day I’ve been saying this for a while but Startup Bro is the new and terrifying lovechild of the brogrammer and the business major and he is somehow even more self-centered and bigoted than either of them No, no, guys, look closely. This house is looking for extremely physically fit young men (No drugs, no makeup, no special diet, exercise 15 hrs a week) who are passive and docile (no protests, no music lyrics with swears) who, most of all, will not be missed if they disappear (very little social media presence, not rich enough to own expensive luxury items, no need to constantly be in contact with their parents over bills/gifts, few identifying markings like tattoos) This is obviously an organ harvesting operation. Actually it turned out that the guy who was running it wanted to create a quasi-paramilitary organization. There were so many horror stories about the place in the news that the landlord evicted everyone. (Gotta say, though, that I like the organ harvesting scheme better.) “It would have been better to have found out this was an organ harvesting scheme” is not a sentiment I expected to see today, and yet.

ajani-on-the-spot: gehayi: berlynn-wohl: hapabap: nazerine: plasmalogical: paxamericana: Silicon Valley’s ‘Startup Castle’ is lookin...

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College, Dude, and Future: Every graduating senior is scared, to some degree, of the future, but this was on a different level. When my class left our liberal arts experience, we scattered to temporary gigs: I worked at a dude ranch; another friend nannied for the summer; one got a job on a farm in New Zealand; others became raft guides and transitioned to ski instructors. We didn't think our first job was important; it was just a job and would eventually, meanderingly lead to The Job. But these students were convinced that their first job out of college would not only determine their career trajectory, but also their intrinsic value for the rest of their lives. I told one student, whose dozens of internship and fellowship applications yielded no results, that she should move somewhere fun, get any job, and figure out what interests her and what kind of work she doesn't want to do - a suggestion that prompted wailing. "But what'll I tell my parents?" she said. "I want a cool job I'm passionate about!" Those expectations encapsulate the millennial rearing project, in which students internalize the need to find employment that reflects well on their parents (steady, decently paying, recognizable as a "good job") that's also impressive to their peers (at a "cool" company) and fulfills what they've been told has been the end goal of all of this childhood optimization: doing work that you're passionate about. Whether that job is as a professional sports player, a Patagonia social media manager, a programmer at a startup, or a partner at a law firm seems to matter less than checking all of those boxes. What's worse, the feeling of accomplishment that follows an exhausting task passing the final! Finishing the massive work project! - never comes. "The exhaustion experienced in burnout combines an intense yearning for this state of completion with the tormenting sense that it cannot be attained that there is always some demand or anxiety or distraction which can't be silenced," Josh Cohen, a psychoanalyst specializing in burnout, writes. "You josieandthepussycatsofficial: reading this article is like staring into a mirror https://www.buzzfeednews.com/article/annehelenpetersen/millennials-burnout-generation-debt-work
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Family, Zero, and Work: Code Written By A CS 101 Student public int tibonacci (int x) (x1) else if (x-2) else return 1: return 1 return fibonacci(x- 1) + fibanacci (x - 2)3 Code Written At A Hackathon pubiic int getFibonacciNumber (int n) switch (n) [ case 1: return 17 case 2: return 1: case 3: return 27 case : return 3 case S: returnS case 6: return case 7: return 13 default: // good enough for the demo, 1ol return-1 Code Written At A Startup // TODO add Javadoc comment큐 /I TOD0 Should we move this to a different file? public int getFibonacciNunber (int n) t // TODO Stack may overflow with recursive implementation. ฐพ1tch over to // iteration approach at some point? if n< 0) TODO This should probably throw an exception. Or maybe just print /I a log message? return-1 else if0) I TODO Generalize the initial conditions? return else if (n1) return1 else [ // TODO Spend some time with薑y family and kida, 1.ve been at work tor // over 钅8 hour3 きtraight return getFibonacciNumber (ngetFibonnaciNumber (n2) Code Written At A Large Company i8 a method that, agiven some index n returns the nch get Eibonacei number " eparam n The index of the Fibonacei number you wish to retrieve return The nth Fibonacci number public CustomInteger64 getFibonacciNumber (CustomInteger64 n) FibonacciDataviewBu11dex bui1der FibonacciDataviewBu1lderFactory.createF bonacciDataviewBaiider new F1bonacciDatavievBuilderParana (n, null, null, , ll)) ir (bu1ider-FibonaccibataviewBu1lderConatanta.ERROR STATE) throw new FibonacciDatavievBuilderFactoryException FibonacciDataview dataview-bu1lder.GenerateFibonacciDataview (this) if (datav1e낱--F1bonacc1Datav!ewConstants.ERRORSTATE) ( - throw new FibonacciDatavievGenerationException return dataview.accessNextFibonacciNumber (null, null, null) Code Written By A Math Ph.D. public int geth r(int n) { return (int) divide (aubtract (exponentiate (phi0)xponentiate (ps0, )) subtract (phi0 P:0D public double exponentiate (double a, double b) if (equal (b, zero)) return one else return multiply(a, exponentiate(a, subtract (b, one))) public double phi return divide (add (one() , 8qrt (add (one () , one 《), one {), one (), one ()) ) ) , add (one,one O)) public double pai ( return aubcract (oneo, ph100) Code Written By Your Cat public atatic final Int UNITE-1: public atatic tinal int UNITED-2 public int meow仁nt KITTENS OFTHE WORLD) { - MEOW i (ITTENS OF THE WORLD <UNITED) return RITTENS OF THE WORLD else return ne(IITENS OF THE WORLD UNITE) + meaw (KITTENSOF THE WORLD UNITED) HODOR?! $HODOR: HODOR! Hodor? Hodor oHODOR? HODOR hodor hodor Hodor? HoOodo0orhodor hodor!? Hodor. Hodor! hodor? rHoDoRHoDoR (HODOR?) ( HOdor!! (HODOR? <0) HODOR: HODOR? hodor! Hodor!? Hodor!? HOdor!!! (HODOR?11 HODOR?2) HODOR::1 HODOR:: HODOR! Hodor? Hodor! oHODOR? HODOR hodor hodor Hodor? HoOodoOorhodor hodor!? Hodor. Hodor! hodor? r (HODOR?1) + HODOR! Hodor? Hodor! oHODOR? HODOR hodor hodor Hodor? HoOodoOorhodor hodor!? Hodor. Hodor! hodor? r (HODOR?-2); The 7th type of programmer

The 7th type of programmer

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Ass, Bad, and College: Anonymous 12/01/18(Sat)06:19:39 No.49597417 parents spent most of childhood fighting dad was alwavs pissed >has a shitty fucking sense of humour ("haha I'm gonna beat you if you dont this and this") vividly remember getting slapped hard as fuck while we were taking a walk and I decided to skip was maybe 6 years old >broke my toys >mother never did anything says she's always there for me and the only one who actually acknowledged that their long ass divorce could possibly be a really shitty experience for me lies and manipulates people cheated on my dad when I was 9 took the money I got for birthdays and didn't give it back >dad's gf is actually kinda alright >she relays every thing i say to my dad or grandparents though tells me I'm indecent and rude when I curl up on a chair while at grandma's house extremely concerned about how other's view her typical woman.jpg have a family they all hate me because of my mum the only family member I truly love and would miss if they were gone is my aunt whom I see 1-2 a year just wanna get a well-paying and fulfilling job and move far away from all of the bullshit Anonymous 12/01/18(Sat)05:50:32 No.49597109 2/3 got accepted to good college >mom immediately thought that I would go on a drug/drink/sex bender and get into trouble >demand I install tracking software for the smart phone she gave me "how can I trust you after all you did to me in high school?!" largely "encouraged" to choose a particular engineering major extended family, particularly mom's side, made very clear to me the consequences for changing majors, that it would be held over my head for the rest of my life (they did it to cousin) >went there felt freedom for the first time in my life did not drug/drink/sex bender or get into trouble still maintained good grades throughout (dropped only 1 class, A's and B's in a very competitive program while taking a minor and premed courses) develop some of my own non-academic interests and hobbies which family grudgingly accepted (though still to this day try to pressure me to sell it all o stupidest thing I did was ask out high school oneitis, who proceeded to use my crime against me as a cheap way to gain connections for the rest of the 4 years nearly dropped out of major over that only thing that stopped me was seeing that it would take 5 years to graduate, and that it would be impossible to explain to family heartbreak is temporary, family is forever amirite? >powered through major despite slowly dying every day surrounded by people who hated me with no way out >family never knevw constant pressure destroyed me slowly: I'm surel have an undiagnosed anxiety disorder graduated get rejected by every medical program in the country >by this time mom cut connections with family who had always been treating her like shit thought things would get better, at least at home Anonymous 12/01/18(Sat)06:03:04 No.49597258 3/3 forced to take job at shithole startup witnessed and experienced unbelievable shit: racism, sexism, and just plain cruelty from rich degenerates playing company >mom never believed me when I explained thought I was exagerating, and would gaslight me even in middle of conversation >to this day I still hear "it's not that bad" when l make the mistake of talking about what happened over there I have since changed jobs and am still working on my ultimate goal, but I'm more of a wreck than l ever was. Thanks to being berated by my parents for being ungrateful, and constantly having to jump through a million hoops to try to win some love I'm extremely emotionally needy, especially towards women I percieve as mothering figures. It's to the point where I'm pushing away a formerly close friend and mentor who had been extremely kind to me The worst thing is that through all this, my mom (and probably nearly everyone else) is going to say it's all my fault for not being "strong" or independent" enough. For example a few weeks ago I was stupid enough to tell my mom how I hated how her relatives coerced me so hard into staying in my major, even when my heart and brain were both begging to be allowed to run, when they probably couldn't even tell me what my degree was in, and this made me too scared to leave since l feared a trickle down punishment from her. She told me l "stayed in there for myself" and it was all on me since "it's not [herl style" to directly confront others (although I have witnessed this several times). I have to keep pretending everything is alright though it is getting harder every day. There's nobody I can talk to about this: after all, who would believe me? Anon has a bad childhood
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Bad, Click, and Fucking: There's a thing called "Rubber duck debugging" in which a programmer explains the code to a rubber duck in hopes of finding the bug Ultrafacts.tumblr.com sea-giraffe: durnesque-esque: mirthalia: tenoko1: cosrnos: lifeofdavo: kierenwalkerpds: monobeartheater: absorr: ultrafacts: Source For more posts like this, CLICK HERE to follow Ultrafacts  Some of you are reblogging because you think its funny that programmers would talk to ducks. I’m reblogging because I think its funny picturing a programmer explaining their code, realizing what they did when they explain the bad code, then grabbing the strangling the duck while yelling “WHY WAS THE FIX THAT SIMPLE!? AM I GOING BLIND!” AS A PROGRAMMER I CAN TELL YOU THAT THIS IS EXACTLY WHAT YOU FUCKING DO WE HAD TO BAN THE DUCKS FROM MY CLASSES BECAUSE EVERYONE WOULD FLIP THE DUCK OR THROW IT AT A WALL OR SOMETHING WHEN THEY FIGURED OUT THE PROBLEM IN THEIR CODE so that’s the function of a rubber duck ^^^^^^^^^^^^^ I work at a startup and part of the onboarding package you get when you first start working here now includes a rubber duck. We also have a bigger version of the duck for the extra hard problems. Sometimes one duck doesn’t cut it and you need to borrow your neighbors to get more ducks on the problem. One time we couldn’t figure out why something wasn’t working right so we assembled the counsel of ducks and by the grace of the Duck Gods were we able to finally come to a solution. These ducks have saved many lives and should be respected for the heroes they are. I use this for writing, actually. Explain what I’m doing and what I want to do and the different ways i can get to point B from A, as well as the different problems, amazingly working them out as I explain why I could or couldn’t the different things. I love the Rubber Duck theory. Former programmer, can confirm. We didn’t have a duck in our office so our other programmer, who I shared a space with, used me as a duck proxy. (For the explaining, not the throwing.) There was more than one day where I’d casually hear “Hey can you be a duck for a minute?” I use this with my groot that I have on my desk. I talk to him and he helps me. But I don’t throw him
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Advice, Butt, and Click: 2 x t 15) Inbox | Tumblrx M Inbax- vickyediaz@gma X https://www.tumblr.com/inbox train.medcerts com 1處Home l Archive of Ou wl Microsoft Word Onlir f Facebook "-Bloge t Tumblr Reddit DkUneddit Inbox blr Anonymous said February 19th 201 INBOX TOOLS Mass Edit Mo that's one big piece of tape on your laptop camera Search Inbox INCOMING imaginarymuffin: bluecrysto-blog: amis-amai: ilikeyoshi: dickbuttofficial: killbenedictcumberbatch: carry-on-my-wayward-butt: carry-on-my-wayward-butt: windows 10 is garbage so every time i boot up the computer i have to run command prompt and enter net.exe stop “Windows Search” so that the shitty goddamned search/cortana feature that i never fucking use stops running in the background taking up all my fucking disk space before after what the fuck is that seriously what the fuck is making my computer be a fucking piece of shit @baristaboy try this out dude @lambylin y’all didn’t even add a tutorial of how to do this so imma put one right here1. type in cmd.exe into your windows search and right click on Command Promt search result and select “Run as Administator”.2. Type/Copypase in  net.exe stop “Windows Search” and make sure Windows Search is in quotations. It should then respond saying “The Windows Search service is stopping” and then tell you it’s stopped.This is only a temp fix though, if you want it switched off permanently then do THIS:1.  Press the Windows key + R at the same time and type in services.msc. 2.  Scroll until you find Windows Search and double click it to enter its Properties window. 3.  Change the Startup type to Disabled. Apply this change and you can exit out.VOILA, NO MORE TAKEN UP DISK SPACE Reblog to save a fucking life, FUCK CORTANA. Important piece of advice 
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Complex, Drugs, and Gif: There are dealbreakers, too. Anyone who regularly Netflix-binges engages in social activism, or wears mascara more than twice a week is going to have to look elsewhere. "This may not be the right place," the Startup Castle says, if you - Watch more than 4 hours of TV/movie/game entertainment per week - Have more than 1 tattoo - Have ever attended more than 1 protest Make more than three posts a week to social media Listen to a songs with explicit lyrics more than an once a day Wear make-up more than twice a weelk - Own any clothing, shoes, watches, or handbags costing over $500 - Have bills that get paid by somebody else Drive a vehicle that was given to you by your parents - Get regular spending money or gifts from your parents - Have more than one internet app date per week - Have a complex diet that requires lots of refrigerator space - Drink alcohol more than 3 drinks per week - Use marijuana more than twice a year - Have been prescribed anything by a psychiatrist more than once - Use any other drug more than twice in your entire gehayi: berlynn-wohl: hapabap: nazerine: plasmalogical: paxamericana: Silicon Valley’s ‘Startup Castle’ is looking for roommates, and the requirements are completely bonkers good thing i listen to exactly one song with explicit lyrics every day I’ve been saying this for a while but Startup Bro is the new and terrifying lovechild of the brogrammer and the business major and he is somehow even more self-centered and bigoted than either of them No, no, guys, look closely. This house is looking for extremely physically fit young men (No drugs, no makeup, no special diet, exercise 15 hrs a week) who are passive and docile (no protests, no music lyrics with swears) who, most of all, will not be missed if they disappear (very little social media presence, not rich enough to own expensive luxury items, no need to constantly be in contact with their parents over bills/gifts, few identifying markings like tattoos) This is obviously an organ harvesting operation. Actually it turned out that the guy who was running it wanted to create a quasi-paramilitary organization. There were so many horror stories about the place in the news that the landlord evicted everyone. (Gotta say, though, that I like the organ harvesting scheme better.)

gehayi: berlynn-wohl: hapabap: nazerine: plasmalogical: paxamericana: Silicon Valley’s ‘Startup Castle’ is looking for roommates, an...

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