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Birthday, Dad, and Driving: dokudoki pistachiosoda Follow liamdunburs ids have no concept of anything. i walked into my kindergarten class and one kid asked me what my name was. when i said miss jones, he said "i like that name. did you know i'm in love with you" letthemountainsmoveyou i asked my four year old cousin how old he thought i was going to be at my next birthday and he said 8. im 23 roonilwazlip once i told a 6 year old that i had finished school and was doing "more school" university] and she asked "why haven't you found anyone to marry then" eyeslikeacat We were at a museum and I was asking for the student discount and my nine year old cousin looks up at me with his eyes wide and says "wait you're a STUDENT??" meelothemanly I used to babysit these three kids and the eldest who was around 11 at the time was talking about how adults are boring and when I told him I was an adult he said, "That's not true, you're my age cractasticdispatches our aunt teaches and she has this story about a little girl who really was always pretty quiet in class and then on the final day of kindergarten she just up and stated i'm all teached now. i don't need to be teached anymore. i'm done of being teached. diamondelight92 once when i was 19, I told my little cousin that i was 19 and she looked up at me with huge eyes and went, "Does that mean you don't have to bring an adult with you to the pool?" anxietee-n My 6 year old cousin saw me driving for the first time, looked up at him mom and said "does that mean she is married now? standard-fiend I watched my dad and my niece (3 at the time) arguing over a pair of pants and whether or not they were also a dress. My neice's argument was that they were in fact, also a dress because they were blue loveyoutothem00n I asked the kids in my daycare class what they thought I should be for Halloween and this little boy goes, "ooh I know! A pickle! You'd be such a good pickle aimmyarrowshigh On the first day of class with my favorite student of all time, I said, "Are you okay? You look like you have a question." And she looked me right in the eyes and said, tremulously "Can a piranha eat a stapler?" manic-kin One time I was working with a kid and he looked up at me and asked "Do you have a boy?" I had no idea what he was talking about, but I told him that I did not have any boys. He looked shocked and then deeply concerned and said "Well you better hurry up and shave your arms so you can get married; August is next month!" dinovia-countryman I was sitting on the floor with my 3yo niece and we were playing with her younger brother's alphabet blocks and the O had an octopus on it. So I picked it up and asked her what it was "Octopus," she said, all curls and smiles And what kind of animal is an octopus?" I asked. I was looking for "fish" or "sea creature but I would have accepted almost anything-weird," "gross, even "slimy." "Underwater" or "it lives in the ocean" would have also been acceptable She looks me right in the eye and says, happy as a clam, "It's a cephalopod. I haven't been the same since Source: dianatprince 769,704 notes Kids have no concept of anything

Kids have no concept of anything

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Latinos, Memes, and Living: Latinos be living in 2035 I'll be following the first 1000 people that follow my new account @savagebreh ๐Ÿ‘€๐Ÿ”ฅ Better hurry ๐Ÿ‘€

I'll be following the first 1000 people that follow my new account @savagebreh ๐Ÿ‘€๐Ÿ”ฅ Better hurry ๐Ÿ‘€

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Animals, Books, and Ignorant: A DELTA HOFSTETTER/ST TSA PRECHK SK IR 1 006 DL 7 21 FEB op or server 69A DOCS BOARDING PASS SKY PRIORITY HOFSTETTER/STEVEN IR S 10A DLA 21 FEB PREM LOS ANGELES TOKYO-HANEDA OPERATED BY DELTA AER LINES TNC 13 While walking to my gate at LAX, l noticed a woman whose dog was in the middle of doing its business. The woman was loudly face-timing with her back to the dog, so l assumed she didn't notice. That was likely the thought shared by the gentleman who tried to get her attention. Excuse me, miss?" he said, in a polite tone. The woman glared at him. "Your dog," he sheepishly continued, pointing to the mid-poop pup The woman rolled her eyes and went back to face time as the man slinked away, seemingly embarrassed "Some people," she bellowed to her face-time companion with no hint of irony, "are just so damned rude 33 When her dog finished, the woman started walking away, leaving everything right on the airport floor. Another woman tried to stop her "You're not going to clean that up?" she asked, as shocked as the rest of us were "They have people for that," the offender replied, disappearing into the crowd, as much as someone yelling into their phone can disappear into a crowd stood near the pile and warned people to walk around it while someone else got a maintenance worker's attention. No one said anything -we were so shocked that anyone could be that horrible When I got to my gate, the woman was there, too. Great we were both going to Tokyo. When I travel abroad, l get embarrassed by other Americans doing things one hundred times less embarrassing than leaving animal feces on the floor of an airport. To make it worse, her dog was now barking at everyone who walked by have nothing against people flying with their dogs, l do it often. But it is a privilege l take seriously. My dog is well- trained and behaves better than most people. He certainly behaves better than that asshole Speaking of assholes, there is a pet relief area inside LAX past security, just two gates away from where The Party Pooper let her dog go to town. It didn't matter she was the type of person to litter three feet from an empty garbage Can While her dog barked at the world, the woman had moved from face-timing with no headphones to listening to music with no headphones. I don't like to throw around the word "sociopath" but I don't know how else l could explain just how selfish and terrible of a person she was. I'd bet her car was somewhere in long-term parking, parked across three spots with paint on the bumper from the child's bike she hit without leaving a note Everyone else tried to ignore her, sitting as far away from her as they could. I am not everyone else I sat down right next to the horrible woman. "Are you going to London on business? I said "I'm going to Tokyo," she responded gruffly, annoyed that l interrupted her DJing "Oh, I said. Then you better hurry. That flight got moved to gate 53C. This is the flight to London." figured l could give her a little moment of panic as payback for how terribly she was treating everyone. didn't predict what would happen next. She grabbed her bags and her dog in a huff, and stormed out of the gate without even checking. She was so self-involved, she didn't notice that the monitor at our gate still said Tokyo and almost everyone at the gate was Japanese Based on her actions, she believed me that the fight had been moved, so she's also an asshole for not thanking me "Some people," I thought as l watched her rush away from the gate without stopping her, "are just so damned rude The flight to Tokyo was at gate 69A, so the 53 gates were on the other side of the next terminal. And felt guilty knowing she probably berated some poor clerk who had to explain to her that there was no gate 53C I don't know if she made it back to this flight before we took off or not, but I didn't see her board and I don't hear her dog. Her missing her flight Was not my original intention, but it would be a fine punishment for her being so rude to everyone and making a low-paid stranger clean feces off the floor. What makes me wonder if I went too far is the knowledge that Delta only has one flight to Tokyo each day. Whoops Maybe she can re-book on another airline. l hear they have people for that EDIT For those of you who want to play internet detective and demand to see my ticket, I'm a stand-up comedian with a show in LA last night and a show in Tokyo tonight. But if that's not enough for you here's my ticket Comedian plays epic airport prank on nasty woman and kind of gets revenge
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Crime, Struggle, and Quite: 4G 2:28 Posts Dec 19 at 3:45pm M Cards Stolen From Mailbox $1 Raeford, NC (28376) People are evil! This lady stole Christmas cards out of our mailbox containing gift cards for my in-laws this morning. I know people are struggling during this time of the year, but do they not know this is a federal offense?!?! Thankful for our home security system and that we have them on video I am so sick right now! O Write a comment 4G 2:28 Comments Or a meth head 1 minute ago Unlike I 1 I don't give two shit if u screen shot it hell I'll do it for u yes l was in the wrong taking the lady's 2 Christmas cards but all the other shit I didn't n the shit l post online comes from a friend that gets shit really really cheap not stolen but I'm not goin to sit here n go bk n forth when I get charged for the one crime I did I'll take it till then y'all keep doin what u do Just now Like Someone please grab ss and make a post calling her out specifically. Not everyone is in these comments Just now Like Someone is writing a comment O Write a reply 4G 2:25 Comments bladen county. Quit acting like this was just one time. 1 minute ago Unlike I 1 better hurry before she deletes stu 1 minute ago Like y no proof meaning l didn't fucking do it n yea l admit the video was me n I'll take the charges for that but all this other shit yall got fucked up I'm done commenting so y'all have at it peace Just now Like LIG 11%. 2:24 PM Comments that ass. 1 New Comment Like O Write a reply 4G 2.31 Comments I Like Comment O Write a comment 2 minutes ago Like Yes, please tell us why. Maybe we can UDGIN understand 1 minute ago Like Nothing was stolen off bk a truck where do y'all come up with all this what y all goin to blame everything in the USA on me? 1 minute ago Like eturn her it tweaker No 1 minute ago Unlike I 1 Are you going to give her cards back O Write a reply 4G 2:32 Comments She doesn't deny being on drugs JUDGING though 1 minute ago Like If 1 you gonna answer my guestion? Why'd you do it? You gonna give the cards back? Just now Like eone get ss pls! Yall got me fucking up at work. Lol getting yelled at an shit Just now Unlike I I go to a dr thats all u need to kno u ain't a fucking judge I ain't gotta answer shit Just now Like O Write a reply caught stealing gift cards out of mailboxes
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