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Ariana Grande, Ass, and Beyonce: Beyonce: *breathes* 30 year old mothers and gay niggas: @jxremixh I think on Thursday or some shit my school has a motivational speaker come in and talk to all the students in that grade. They started this type of thing last year cause a lot of kids were killing themselves or something lol. Anyway the school deadass pays some middle aged balding white man to come in and talk to us about life and shit. Like nigga 99.9% of the kids in my grade wanna die lmaooo. Anyway last year all 900 kids in the sophomore class filed into the auditorium to listen to the speaker for 45 minutes straight. For the first like 30 minutes, I was fucking sleep. Shit was so boring bruh on my dead goldfish Jeremy. How you gon be a motivational speaker and sound like you wanna die yourself? Nigga voice was flatter than Ariana Grande ass. Anyway for the last 15 minutes, he took questions from the students. Now THIS is where it got interesting ๐Ÿ’€ So yโ€™all know my nigga Aaron right? He wasnโ€™t sitting next to me at the time but this nigga raises his hand. For some reason, they hand this nigga the microphone so the whole auditorium can hear it. โ€œYeah I got one question. Letโ€™s say youโ€™re online dating a girl and when yโ€™all meet up, she got a weewee bigger than yours. How do cope with that?โ€ I mean yeah at first it was funny ๐Ÿ’€ but then security grabbed his ass and he got suspended for like a week. BUT THE NEXT FUCKING PERSON WHO RAISES THEIR HAND MAKES ME WANNA SET A FUCKING SHORT BUS ON FIRE. This bitch Sara , whoโ€™s right next to me, takes the microphone and as soon as she starts speaking I wanted to fucking die. Her voice would single handedly make suicide rates go up. โ€œSo recently my brother passed away and-โ€œ OH NAH ๐Ÿ’€ yo Iโ€™m so sorry but it was so hard not to fucking laugh I was almost crying. โ€œ-and recently Iโ€™ve been really depressed and sometimes I even stare at the knives in my kitchen drawers and think about cutting myself-โ€œ I COULDNT HOLD IT BRUH ๐Ÿ˜ญ๐Ÿ˜ญ a nigga started DYINGGG as she was fucking talking ๐Ÿ˜ญ she stops speaking and everybody starts staring at me. โ€œIs something funny?โ€ Omfg I wanted to punch her in the neck, I CANT STRESS HOW ANNOYING HER VOICE IS. Anyway I stop laughing and compose myself. โ€œNah go ahead.โ€ Bitch voice a whole genjutsu bruh
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