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gardeninthevoid: thathighclassbitch: how-to-train-your-writer: thathighclassbitch: speciesofleastconcern: teapotsahoy: twentyghosts: queerautism: actualdisasterbi: republicansareahategroup: scifinut: missanthropicprinciple: mcdyke: lesbian-lizards: jimmyfury: iskariotrising: PEOPLE ARE SO CONCERNED ABOUT THIS DOGS MASCULINITY HES A DOG no you don’t understand. People freak the fuck out if you don’t enforce human gender roles on dogs. They get fucking belligerent. I work in a pet store and the number of times people have gotten LIVID with me for not just automatically assuming their dog not only required but personally wanted the most stringent enforcement of human gender norms is mindblowing. People demand dog shampoos that smell “masculine” because “He’s a boy he doesn’t want to smell like flowers” even though he’s a dog and if he had his way he would smell like duck poop. And those shampoos exist! That’s the worst part! There’s enough demand for dog shampoo that smells like Axe body spray that they exist and they sell well. Or the seemingly nice old lady that shouted “PINK! OBVIOUSLY! SHE’S GIRL SHE HATES OTHER COLORS!” at me when i asked what color harness she wanted for her lapdog. Even though her dog can’t actually see the color pink and does not now and will not ever give a single flying dog fart what color her harness is. Even our pets have to deal with our gender socialization bullshit. I work in a pet store. Can confirm. If I don’t know the sex of the dog, and say, I pick up a blue lead to show the customer it’s different uses, I’ll get “well she’s a girl, so” and I’m like? Um? I’m just showing you it’s functions, there’s like 20 different colours here you can choose from? And my manager wants us to separate boys coats/accessories and girl coats/accessories for accessibility for the customers……. like…….? ??????? They’re dogs. This. Is. BULLSHIT.Also, when I worked at a grooming salon, one groomer would bring in her family’s dogs. Poms, the lot of them. They all got bows. Even the boy. He was a goddamn beautiful dog.Customers got mad. About a boy dog wearing bows. A boy dog THAT WAS NOT THEIR DOG wearing bows. Let that sink in. Actually just like a week ago someone got testy with me because I put my female chihuahua in a blue polo shirt and they were like “she’s a girl she looks like a boy in that” and I was just like… She’s a dog. I am so tempted to put the biggest fucking pink bow I can find on my dog and parade him around the neighborhood.  Fuck this gender roles bullshit.  He’s a 12 year old dumbass who sometimes falls down the ONE (1) step on our porch because he gets too excited and forgets that he has back legs that don’t work right (vet says it’s a degenerative nerve thing, common in older labs).  HE WOULD GLADLY ROLL IN HIS OWN SHIT IF WE LET HIM - HE COULDN’T GIVE TWO FUCKS IF HE IS IN A BOW OR A BANDANA, I PROMISE. My puppy wears bandanas sometimes, including a really cute pink one with white hearts that I love. One time this old lady at the park was absolutely BAFFLED that I would put a pink thing on my Boy Dog. Literally accused me of trying to confuse people, asked why I’d put that on him. I was just??? It’s cute and I like it the puppy really couldn’t give less of a shit My cat Duarte is male and he wears a pink collar with a tag that says “Beautiful Angel Princess” on the side that doesn’t have my contact info, because he’s my beautiful angel princess obv, and it throws the vet staff for a LOOP every time People get upset when I walk boy dogs with my hot pink leash (because I lose leashes, so I like them highly visible.Like, one, maybe this dog has Victorian gender norms, and considers pink very masculine? two: it’s not the dog’s leash, it’s mine. People putting gender norms on house pets is wild. They’re just living cuddle bears they don’t have gender. The person who grooms our dog always puts little bows on his harness. Adorable. OH NO, NUGGET! TAKE THAT SHIRT OFF. THAT’S NOT M A N L Y, NUGGET! OH NO HE’S WEARING AIRPODS HE CAN’T HEAR ME OH NO!  Oh n o oh gfpd I’m shahmking I m cr yjiing i was so fucking angry reading this post and then you blessed me with nugget : Kaytlyn Marie Stone Great Pyrenees and Their Crazy Antics 3 hrs My beautiful boy! Like Comment gardeninthevoid: thathighclassbitch: how-to-train-your-writer: thathighclassbitch: speciesofleastconcern: teapotsahoy: twentyghosts: queerautism: actualdisasterbi: republicansareahategroup: scifinut: missanthropicprinciple: mcdyke: lesbian-lizards: jimmyfury: iskariotrising: PEOPLE ARE SO CONCERNED ABOUT THIS DOGS MASCULINITY HES A DOG no you don’t understand. People freak the fuck out if you don’t enforce human gender roles on dogs. They get fucking belligerent. I work in a pet store and the number of times people have gotten LIVID with me for not just automatically assuming their dog not only required but personally wanted the most stringent enforcement of human gender norms is mindblowing. People demand dog shampoos that smell “masculine” because “He’s a boy he doesn’t want to smell like flowers” even though he’s a dog and if he had his way he would smell like duck poop. And those shampoos exist! That’s the worst part! There’s enough demand for dog shampoo that smells like Axe body spray that they exist and they sell well. Or the seemingly nice old lady that shouted “PINK! OBVIOUSLY! SHE’S GIRL SHE HATES OTHER COLORS!” at me when i asked what color harness she wanted for her lapdog. Even though her dog can’t actually see the color pink and does not now and will not ever give a single flying dog fart what color her harness is. Even our pets have to deal with our gender socialization bullshit. I work in a pet store. Can confirm. If I don’t know the sex of the dog, and say, I pick up a blue lead to show the customer it’s different uses, I’ll get “well she’s a girl, so” and I’m like? Um? I’m just showing you it’s functions, there’s like 20 different colours here you can choose from? And my manager wants us to separate boys coats/accessories and girl coats/accessories for accessibility for the customers……. like…….? ??????? They’re dogs. This. Is. BULLSHIT.Also, when I worked at a grooming salon, one groomer would bring in her family’s dogs. Poms, the lot of them. They all got bows. Even the boy. He was a goddamn beautiful dog.Customers got mad. About a boy dog wearing bows. A boy dog THAT WAS NOT THEIR DOG wearing bows. Let that sink in. Actually just like a week ago someone got testy with me because I put my female chihuahua in a blue polo shirt and they were like “she’s a girl she looks like a boy in that” and I was just like… She’s a dog. I am so tempted to put the biggest fucking pink bow I can find on my dog and parade him around the neighborhood.  Fuck this gender roles bullshit.  He’s a 12 year old dumbass who sometimes falls down the ONE (1) step on our porch because he gets too excited and forgets that he has back legs that don’t work right (vet says it’s a degenerative nerve thing, common in older labs).  HE WOULD GLADLY ROLL IN HIS OWN SHIT IF WE LET HIM - HE COULDN’T GIVE TWO FUCKS IF HE IS IN A BOW OR A BANDANA, I PROMISE. My puppy wears bandanas sometimes, including a really cute pink one with white hearts that I love. One time this old lady at the park was absolutely BAFFLED that I would put a pink thing on my Boy Dog. Literally accused me of trying to confuse people, asked why I’d put that on him. I was just??? It’s cute and I like it the puppy really couldn’t give less of a shit My cat Duarte is male and he wears a pink collar with a tag that says “Beautiful Angel Princess” on the side that doesn’t have my contact info, because he’s my beautiful angel princess obv, and it throws the vet staff for a LOOP every time People get upset when I walk boy dogs with my hot pink leash (because I lose leashes, so I like them highly visible.Like, one, maybe this dog has Victorian gender norms, and considers pink very masculine? two: it’s not the dog’s leash, it’s mine. People putting gender norms on house pets is wild. They’re just living cuddle bears they don’t have gender. The person who grooms our dog always puts little bows on his harness. Adorable. OH NO, NUGGET! TAKE THAT SHIRT OFF. THAT’S NOT M A N L Y, NUGGET! OH NO HE’S WEARING AIRPODS HE CAN’T HEAR ME OH NO!  Oh n o oh gfpd I’m shahmking I m cr yjiing i was so fucking angry reading this post and then you blessed me with nugget
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anaquana: seperis: ballsballsbowls: mysharona1987: If you don’t think the house looked cooler and more delightful before, then I don’t know what to tell you. Not to mention the house isn’t “shabby” in those pictures - the paint’s spotless, the molding’s intact, the stairs and windows are maintained.  I grew up in the rust belt and this house looks better than about 90% of the houses built before the 90s in most neighborhoods. This house has been maintained meticulously and lovingly at great expense. It’s not “shabby”: it’s a non-neutral color with intact Victorian details that you removed because how dare a house have unique features on the outside, what will the neighbors think? I say this as someone whose friends and family have to make them buy colors when shopping or my wardrobe woudl be nothing but black, white, beige, grey, and my super racy delve into brown and hates all the blue-teals like whoa…. WHO THOUGHT MAKING THE COOL TRIPPY VICTORIAN INTO A GODDAMN HELLHOUSE? This is uncanny valley shit; that house is going to kill everyone and drink their blood for some goddamn color in its life. …God, can you imagine the operating room-level neutral inside? This monstrosity was done by a fucking house flipper, of course. I saw the listing for it and they completely destroyed the inside of the house as well. I was so pissed I couldn’t get through all of the pictures. My husband and I bought a fixer-upper Victorian and while we’re not keeping her period authentic, we’re damn sure keeping her interesting and beautiful. She’s currently a drab white, but we’re getting her painted this year and that gorgeous teal is exactly the color I was thinking about doing her in. : SF SFGate GATE Before and after: The dramatic transformation of a shabby West Oakland @SFGate Feb 10 Victorian dlvr.it/QyZmYp 244 3.2K 1.8K OR4NOW Follow @Or4Now Replying to @SFGate When I first read this, I thought you were referring to the one on the right being shabby & I was in agreement. Then I realized...oh no! You think suburban beige is beautiful & Victorian funk is "shabby." Well F you, too. SFGate's daddy is shabby. Yeah I said it 8:51 PM 10 Feb 2019 15 Retweets 713 L ikes anaquana: seperis: ballsballsbowls: mysharona1987: If you don’t think the house looked cooler and more delightful before, then I don’t know what to tell you. Not to mention the house isn’t “shabby” in those pictures - the paint’s spotless, the molding’s intact, the stairs and windows are maintained.  I grew up in the rust belt and this house looks better than about 90% of the houses built before the 90s in most neighborhoods. This house has been maintained meticulously and lovingly at great expense. It’s not “shabby”: it’s a non-neutral color with intact Victorian details that you removed because how dare a house have unique features on the outside, what will the neighbors think? I say this as someone whose friends and family have to make them buy colors when shopping or my wardrobe woudl be nothing but black, white, beige, grey, and my super racy delve into brown and hates all the blue-teals like whoa…. WHO THOUGHT MAKING THE COOL TRIPPY VICTORIAN INTO A GODDAMN HELLHOUSE? This is uncanny valley shit; that house is going to kill everyone and drink their blood for some goddamn color in its life. …God, can you imagine the operating room-level neutral inside? This monstrosity was done by a fucking house flipper, of course. I saw the listing for it and they completely destroyed the inside of the house as well. I was so pissed I couldn’t get through all of the pictures. My husband and I bought a fixer-upper Victorian and while we’re not keeping her period authentic, we’re damn sure keeping her interesting and beautiful. She’s currently a drab white, but we’re getting her painted this year and that gorgeous teal is exactly the color I was thinking about doing her in.
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what-even-is-thiss: galaxybrownies: lastoneout: ceiye: jelloapocalypse: chavisory: mapsrgreat: wildcardarcana: littlethingwithfeathers: cannibalcuisine: dare-to-dm: pyrrhiccomedy: mapsontheweb: Guide to Figuring out the Age of an Undated World Map. No but take the time to actually read it because I lost like 15 minutes. I have a friend who is really good at this type of thing.  He once found an old globe at a garage sale and he was able to pin the date of it’s making down to like a 6 month window, because it only would’ve been correct during a specific point in WWII.   I was mad impressed, because I have no mind for geography.  I can barely remember my own state’s capitol. THIS IS GOLD 😂😂😂 This is amazing. Take the time to actually read it. Holy shit the super specific things towards the end Oh wow! I didn’t know anything about the giant lake in California being created by accident?! I love how it differentiates the maps of Narnia based on which book you’re looking at I almost scrolled past this Hello? : GUIDE TO FIGURING OUT THE AGE OF AN UNDATED WORLD MAP (ASSUMING ITS COMPLETE, LABELEDIN ENGUSH, AND DETAILED ENOUGH) DO ANY OF THESE EXIST? INDEPENDENT CANADA US TERRITORY OF ALASKA TOKYO ISTANBUL OR CONSTANTINOPLE? DOES THE SOVIET UNION EXIST? THE HOLY ROTIAN EMPIRE? NO 5 MOST OF EST AFRICA A GIANT FRENCH BLOB? SAUDI 805 OR EARUER THE MODERN IDEAOF A COMPLETE POLITICAL MAP OF THE WORLD GaSHARD ToAPPLY DDES THE OTTOMAN EMPIRE EXIST? ZAIRE? OR HONG KONG (UK) 922-1932 UNION? SOUTH AFRICA? NO HOW MANY VIEINAM5 ARE THERE? TWO ONE SAINTNORTH KOREA? SERBIA/MONTENEGRO ARE. IS JAN MAYEN PART OF THE KINGDOM OF NORWAY? THE UNITED RHODESIA?ALBANIA? HOU SURE ARE YOU THAT THIS MAP lSİN ENGLISH? EAST TİMOR? | | HOW MANY SUDANS THAT ONE UP ARE THERE? CAN YOU SEE THE FAMIUAR CONTİNENTS? / 972-75 าร19-23 1924-29 997-2001 2002-06 910-12 1913-18 | HOW MANY GERMANS ARE THERE? ) | 011BODA? THIS S00NDS LIKE A PHYSICAL MAP OR ONE ONE, BUT ITS HUGE OR TUO 46-47 DANGER EXCLUSION ZONE-AVOID? PARTOFSLEDENF) I SATELLIEPHOTO FLORIDA IS PARTOF. YES, THATS IT 2012-13 RER SRON PERSIA OR IRANEA PARTOF 18%-1905 1906-09 OR 952-53 DOES THE UARNING 930-3435-40 JMMY CARTER IS... BENGATTACKED BYA T FNE VENEZUELA S BOLIMA CHAD MISSING? MENTION THE SPIDERS? THE UNITED 2022 2023 ORUATER CAIR PARAVEL?CAD . ARABR APRIL 20, 1979 1806-10 181-17 884-95 818-29 1830-33 954-57 1958-60 THE SINAI 5 PART OF WHAT COUNTRY? ISRAELIMOSTLY ISRAEL MOSTLY EGYPTEGYPT 976-79 IS THE ARAL BUDA AND PESTSEA MISSING? 970s-90s 2000st MORDOR? I5 THE AREA SOUTH OF LAKE VICTORIAn 198 DOES RUSSIA BORDER THE SEA OF JAPAN? OR BUDAPEST? 961-61 1965-7 WHATS THE CAPITAL OF MICRONESIA? 858-67 873-83 BELERIAND?NÚMENOR? IS THE WORLD ON THE BACK OFATURTLE? THE TOUWN ON I-25 BETUEEN ALBUQUERQUE AND EL PASO IS THE U5s SOUTHERN BORDER LOOKS... LATE FIRST VOLTA OR BURKINA FASO? 948-49 AGE 851-56 CALORMEN? ARE YOU SURE THIS IS A MAP? 982-84 HOW FAR EAST DO THE AMERICAN PRAIRIES REACH? INDIANA THE MISSISSIPPI NEBRASKAWHAT PRAIRIES? THE FOREST EASTOF THE MISIY MOUNTAINS IS IS IT TRYING TO BITE YOU? | (NUMBEROF YEMENS)+(NUMBER OFGERMANYS 1989-EARLY 1990 MID-10 LATE1190-1m IF YOU LET IT GO WHAT DOES IT D0? MRKLJOOD1 THE WOOD OF BEFORE 1830 1830s Os EARLY THRD AGE FOURTH AGE DID YOU MAKE IS THERE A BIG THIRD AGE RECURSIVE LAKE IN THE MIDDLE OFI5 THERE A BIG LAKE IN SOUTHERN CAUFORNIA?THE MIDDLE OFGHANA? CREATED ON PURPOSE IS IT LARGER THAN A BREADBOX? RUNS AJPY AROUND THE RDOM ONE OF THE ITS VERY NICE. TREADER LATER BODOKS ATE 8605-1700s 910s 205-505 60s-70s what-even-is-thiss: galaxybrownies: lastoneout: ceiye: jelloapocalypse: chavisory: mapsrgreat: wildcardarcana: littlethingwithfeathers: cannibalcuisine: dare-to-dm: pyrrhiccomedy: mapsontheweb: Guide to Figuring out the Age of an Undated World Map. No but take the time to actually read it because I lost like 15 minutes. I have a friend who is really good at this type of thing.  He once found an old globe at a garage sale and he was able to pin the date of it’s making down to like a 6 month window, because it only would’ve been correct during a specific point in WWII.   I was mad impressed, because I have no mind for geography.  I can barely remember my own state’s capitol. THIS IS GOLD 😂😂😂 This is amazing. Take the time to actually read it. Holy shit the super specific things towards the end Oh wow! I didn’t know anything about the giant lake in California being created by accident?! I love how it differentiates the maps of Narnia based on which book you’re looking at I almost scrolled past this Hello?
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what-even-is-thiss: galaxybrownies: lastoneout: ceiye: jelloapocalypse: chavisory: mapsrgreat: wildcardarcana: littlethingwithfeathers: cannibalcuisine: dare-to-dm: pyrrhiccomedy: mapsontheweb: Guide to Figuring out the Age of an Undated World Map. No but take the time to actually read it because I lost like 15 minutes. I have a friend who is really good at this type of thing.  He once found an old globe at a garage sale and he was able to pin the date of it’s making down to like a 6 month window, because it only would’ve been correct during a specific point in WWII.   I was mad impressed, because I have no mind for geography.  I can barely remember my own state’s capitol. THIS IS GOLD 😂😂😂 This is amazing. Take the time to actually read it. Holy shit the super specific things towards the end Oh wow! I didn’t know anything about the giant lake in California being created by accident?! I love how it differentiates the maps of Narnia based on which book you’re looking at I almost scrolled past this Hello? : GUIDE TO FIGURING OUT THE AGE OF AN UNDATED WORLD MAP (ASSUMING ITS COMPLETE, LABELEDIN ENGUSH, AND DETAILED ENOUGH) DO ANY OF THESE EXIST? INDEPENDENT CANADA US TERRITORY OF ALASKA TOKYO ISTANBUL OR CONSTANTINOPLE? DOES THE SOVIET UNION EXIST? THE HOLY ROTIAN EMPIRE? NO 5 MOST OF EST AFRICA A GIANT FRENCH BLOB? SAUDI 805 OR EARUER THE MODERN IDEAOF A COMPLETE POLITICAL MAP OF THE WORLD GaSHARD ToAPPLY DDES THE OTTOMAN EMPIRE EXIST? ZAIRE? OR HONG KONG (UK) 922-1932 UNION? SOUTH AFRICA? NO HOW MANY VIEINAM5 ARE THERE? TWO ONE SAINTNORTH KOREA? SERBIA/MONTENEGRO ARE. IS JAN MAYEN PART OF THE KINGDOM OF NORWAY? THE UNITED RHODESIA?ALBANIA? HOU SURE ARE YOU THAT THIS MAP lSİN ENGLISH? EAST TİMOR? | | HOW MANY SUDANS THAT ONE UP ARE THERE? CAN YOU SEE THE FAMIUAR CONTİNENTS? / 972-75 าร19-23 1924-29 997-2001 2002-06 910-12 1913-18 | HOW MANY GERMANS ARE THERE? ) | 011BODA? THIS S00NDS LIKE A PHYSICAL MAP OR ONE ONE, BUT ITS HUGE OR TUO 46-47 DANGER EXCLUSION ZONE-AVOID? PARTOFSLEDENF) I SATELLIEPHOTO FLORIDA IS PARTOF. YES, THATS IT 2012-13 RER SRON PERSIA OR IRANEA PARTOF 18%-1905 1906-09 OR 952-53 DOES THE UARNING 930-3435-40 JMMY CARTER IS... BENGATTACKED BYA T FNE VENEZUELA S BOLIMA CHAD MISSING? MENTION THE SPIDERS? THE UNITED 2022 2023 ORUATER CAIR PARAVEL?CAD . ARABR APRIL 20, 1979 1806-10 181-17 884-95 818-29 1830-33 954-57 1958-60 THE SINAI 5 PART OF WHAT COUNTRY? ISRAELIMOSTLY ISRAEL MOSTLY EGYPTEGYPT 976-79 IS THE ARAL BUDA AND PESTSEA MISSING? 970s-90s 2000st MORDOR? I5 THE AREA SOUTH OF LAKE VICTORIAn 198 DOES RUSSIA BORDER THE SEA OF JAPAN? OR BUDAPEST? 961-61 1965-7 WHATS THE CAPITAL OF MICRONESIA? 858-67 873-83 BELERIAND?NÚMENOR? IS THE WORLD ON THE BACK OFATURTLE? THE TOUWN ON I-25 BETUEEN ALBUQUERQUE AND EL PASO IS THE U5s SOUTHERN BORDER LOOKS... LATE FIRST VOLTA OR BURKINA FASO? 948-49 AGE 851-56 CALORMEN? ARE YOU SURE THIS IS A MAP? 982-84 HOW FAR EAST DO THE AMERICAN PRAIRIES REACH? INDIANA THE MISSISSIPPI NEBRASKAWHAT PRAIRIES? THE FOREST EASTOF THE MISIY MOUNTAINS IS IS IT TRYING TO BITE YOU? | (NUMBEROF YEMENS)+(NUMBER OFGERMANYS 1989-EARLY 1990 MID-10 LATE1190-1m IF YOU LET IT GO WHAT DOES IT D0? MRKLJOOD1 THE WOOD OF BEFORE 1830 1830s Os EARLY THRD AGE FOURTH AGE DID YOU MAKE IS THERE A BIG THIRD AGE RECURSIVE LAKE IN THE MIDDLE OFI5 THERE A BIG LAKE IN SOUTHERN CAUFORNIA?THE MIDDLE OFGHANA? CREATED ON PURPOSE IS IT LARGER THAN A BREADBOX? RUNS AJPY AROUND THE RDOM ONE OF THE ITS VERY NICE. TREADER LATER BODOKS ATE 8605-1700s 910s 205-505 60s-70s what-even-is-thiss: galaxybrownies: lastoneout: ceiye: jelloapocalypse: chavisory: mapsrgreat: wildcardarcana: littlethingwithfeathers: cannibalcuisine: dare-to-dm: pyrrhiccomedy: mapsontheweb: Guide to Figuring out the Age of an Undated World Map. No but take the time to actually read it because I lost like 15 minutes. I have a friend who is really good at this type of thing.  He once found an old globe at a garage sale and he was able to pin the date of it’s making down to like a 6 month window, because it only would’ve been correct during a specific point in WWII.   I was mad impressed, because I have no mind for geography.  I can barely remember my own state’s capitol. THIS IS GOLD 😂😂😂 This is amazing. Take the time to actually read it. Holy shit the super specific things towards the end Oh wow! I didn’t know anything about the giant lake in California being created by accident?! I love how it differentiates the maps of Narnia based on which book you’re looking at I almost scrolled past this Hello?
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College Vampires: PIRITS bookhobbit why is "olde vampires in high school" the big thing and not "olde vampires in college" everyone in college is eccentric. everyone you wanna wear full on Victorian suit? the girl in pajamas who clearly hasn't slept in three days supports you everyone is too preoccupied to care as long as you're polite and follow class etiquette multiple high school diplomas? eh. same stuff. multiple BAs? Enjoy learning chemistry AND art history! All in detail! wandering around campus at 3am? that's just the lifestyle tm * no matter how old or young you look it's not really that weird, there's sixteen year olds and sixty year olds doing BAs somewhere big schools are very anonymous so nobody's gonna bother to hassle you * anorthernskyatdawn the girl in pyjamas is the vampire themauvesoul Also: If u put ur blood in a water bottle ppl will assume it's juice and be Jealous "Oh god I'm a monster" 20 students who r all procrastinating big projects say "same simultaniousely and with the exact same tone Everything is a joke so if u say "I subsist on the lifeblood of mankind" someone will go "lol what a mood* It would take u like 100 years to major in everything Seen sucking the blood of a fellow classmate and u r instantly the campus Cryptid and Mascoft Listen. If u have an ethical dilemma go find a philosophy major that believes in ethical subjectivism and they'll make u so angry u forget abt whatever the fuck was bothering u College is the only acceptable place to get into fistfights over classical literature * e * iterally all u need to do to avoid suspicion is be the guy that alway:s has qum and a stapler If u have a majestic mustache ppl will just assume ur an English major Allergic to crosses? Cool. So r certain stem majors. e * College Vampires
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dysphoric-memez: the-porter-rockwell: thebibliosphere: thecuriousviolet: breelandwalker: nineprotons: “Got the morbs” should be a thing. Victorian slang is AMAZING, and select phrases really need to make a comeback. “Bitch the pot” - Pour the tea (HOW RELEVANT IS THIS!?) “Bang up the elephant” - Absolutely perfect; super stylish “Well, that’s shot the bale” - Something that has missed the mark entirely “Church-bell” - A woman prone to gossip “Chuckaboo” - A dear friend, a bosom chum “Beer and skittles” - A great time (see also: Irish Gaelic “craic”) “Butter on bacon” - Something overdone or too extravagant “Cupid’s kettle drums” - Breasts, particularly large ones “Gigglemug” - A cheerful smiling face All of these??? Make me smile??? They’re so weird and wonderful I love them??? Especially bitch the pot because that’s something I could totally hear myself saying…that and chuckaboo I worked in a Victorian tea house in my youth and I’m telling you, you haven’t lived till you hear a the 98 year old lady (this was some 15 years ago) utter the words “bitch the pot” because it was what they used to say when the tea house first opened and it just sort of stuck through all the generations. i can hear these in both British accents and southern accents. Old southern people use a lot of these tbh: Bob Nicholson @DigiVictorian I find myself lost (not for the first time...) in a dictionary of Victorian slang. This is still my favourite: IS IS Got the morbs (Soe., 1880). Temporary melancholia Abstract noun coined from adjeetive morbid. 2016-12-15, 10:06 AM dysphoric-memez: the-porter-rockwell: thebibliosphere: thecuriousviolet: breelandwalker: nineprotons: “Got the morbs” should be a thing. Victorian slang is AMAZING, and select phrases really need to make a comeback. “Bitch the pot” - Pour the tea (HOW RELEVANT IS THIS!?) “Bang up the elephant” - Absolutely perfect; super stylish “Well, that’s shot the bale” - Something that has missed the mark entirely “Church-bell” - A woman prone to gossip “Chuckaboo” - A dear friend, a bosom chum “Beer and skittles” - A great time (see also: Irish Gaelic “craic”) “Butter on bacon” - Something overdone or too extravagant “Cupid’s kettle drums” - Breasts, particularly large ones “Gigglemug” - A cheerful smiling face All of these??? Make me smile??? They’re so weird and wonderful I love them??? Especially bitch the pot because that’s something I could totally hear myself saying…that and chuckaboo I worked in a Victorian tea house in my youth and I’m telling you, you haven’t lived till you hear a the 98 year old lady (this was some 15 years ago) utter the words “bitch the pot” because it was what they used to say when the tea house first opened and it just sort of stuck through all the generations. i can hear these in both British accents and southern accents. Old southern people use a lot of these tbh
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SHOUT TO ALL U GIRLS TRYINA SQUEEZE INTO HOLIDAY DRESSES AND IT FIT TIGHT BECAUSE U BEEN EATING GOOD - “aye smash do I look fat in this?” BISH U LOOK THICKER THAN A SNICKER AND BETTER CHILL “ok but will it look hootchie? 🤔” AFTER AMBER ROSE’s SLVTWALK WE DONT SHAME HOOTCHIE WE EMBRACE HOOTCHIE LET THEM THIGHS AND HIPS SHOW COT DAMMIT THIS AMERICA YEEN GOTTA WEAR A BURQA U CAN LOOK DELICIOUS AT A HOLIDAY PARTY AND FEEL YASELF WEAR 👏 THE 👏 DAMN 👏 DRESS 👏 BLESS UP 😍 [“smash should I at least wear a corset that is being sold by my favorite ‘urban model’ on IG with 300k followers? 🤔” YA DONT NEED NO DAMN CORSET I AM MAD I EVEN HAVE TO SAY THIS, THAT IS A RELIC OF VICTORIAN SOCIETY THAT WE SHOULD HAVE LEFT IN VICTORIA BTW THEY AINT EVEN BATHE BACC THEN IT WAS A DIFFERENT TIME PEOPLE DIED OF POTATO FAMINE AND ISHT WE IN A DIFFERENT PLACE NOW AS HUMANS LET THAT LIL BELLY (I call it a landing pad ☺️) SHOW BLESS UP 😍😂😂] (Slide 2: @henrythecoloradodog . Slide 3: reddit u-fenhuishiqz6): I will sing you the song of my people @DrSmashlove SHOUT TO ALL U GIRLS TRYINA SQUEEZE INTO HOLIDAY DRESSES AND IT FIT TIGHT BECAUSE U BEEN EATING GOOD - “aye smash do I look fat in this?” BISH U LOOK THICKER THAN A SNICKER AND BETTER CHILL “ok but will it look hootchie? 🤔” AFTER AMBER ROSE’s SLVTWALK WE DONT SHAME HOOTCHIE WE EMBRACE HOOTCHIE LET THEM THIGHS AND HIPS SHOW COT DAMMIT THIS AMERICA YEEN GOTTA WEAR A BURQA U CAN LOOK DELICIOUS AT A HOLIDAY PARTY AND FEEL YASELF WEAR 👏 THE 👏 DAMN 👏 DRESS 👏 BLESS UP 😍 [“smash should I at least wear a corset that is being sold by my favorite ‘urban model’ on IG with 300k followers? 🤔” YA DONT NEED NO DAMN CORSET I AM MAD I EVEN HAVE TO SAY THIS, THAT IS A RELIC OF VICTORIAN SOCIETY THAT WE SHOULD HAVE LEFT IN VICTORIA BTW THEY AINT EVEN BATHE BACC THEN IT WAS A DIFFERENT TIME PEOPLE DIED OF POTATO FAMINE AND ISHT WE IN A DIFFERENT PLACE NOW AS HUMANS LET THAT LIL BELLY (I call it a landing pad ☺️) SHOW BLESS UP 😍😂😂] (Slide 2: @henrythecoloradodog . Slide 3: reddit u-fenhuishiqz6)

SHOUT TO ALL U GIRLS TRYINA SQUEEZE INTO HOLIDAY DRESSES AND IT FIT TIGHT BECAUSE U BEEN EATING GOOD - “aye smash do I look fat in this?”...

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Very planned Parenthood: The Turkey Story So it's 2001, and my family drives from fu California and like three blizzards to get to Ohio for into a nursing home and it's their last holiday in that house. So its a bit bittersweet but ultimately a good thing. Since it's their last holiday there, the family pulls out all the stops when it comes to dinner, all the Russian desserts come out, as does the Lethal Bacon Mashed Potatoes and the horrible candied yams with the mini marshmallows dish because not all expressions of love are even if they are si In the spirit of going alout, Uncle Bobby smokes a Turkey Uncle Bobby started cooking as a boy foil-wrapped potatoes into a campfire and has been ad- dicted since, and now has a hand-made smokehouse in the backyard where he makes various cured meats and other delights. He seasons the turkey in the traditional manner, but he and grandpa have a shared passion for SO Game Hen seasoned that way, for them. Then Bobby has a Brilliant Idea. He realizes that he can stuff the turkey (once it has been smoked) with regular stuffing, and there is still plenty of room for him to put the game hen inside THAT, and stuff the game hen be- cuase why not? He confers with Mom, and she explains how to cut open the turkey so there's dramatic reveal as the stuffing and game hen come out. It's Genius. Except, of course, that my Aunt Sue is attending, Uncle Cliff s after her So the day of the dinner, tensions are running a bit high, between the marathon cooking, the kids al being trapped indoors due to aforementioned blizzards, and Uncle Cliff deciding that the best way to amuse himself is by hiding from the adults in the basement, getting drunk and rambling about how various ethic groups were destroying America. Being that I had close Muslim friends that were leaving the country becuase of 9/11, 1 was near tears from this nonsense and ready to n roughly five times my size. Sue, for some reason, keeps coming down and defending him, or telling us we're rotten children for 'attacking him, becuase she Must Stand By Her Man, even if her man is a hefty bag of dog feces with an ugly mustache My sister eventually boits upstairs to tattle and my grandfather limps down to the basement and brandishes his Hip Bone Cane, hands rock-steady in spite of the Parkinson's slowly taking over him. Firstly Cliff, It may not be my roof much longer but while you are under it you will be civil, or Ill beat your skull in. Also, dinner's ready, everyone go wash up. We go upstairs and sit down, and do the traditional "Name one thing you're thankful for as the bread gets passed around the table, and things calm down a bit. Bobby brings out the Turkey and everyone goes OOH becuase it's really pretty, them Mom carves it open so that the stuffing spills out dramatically along with the game hen and there's an appreciative gasp all around becuase it looks cool. Only Sue KEEPS gasping, in utter horror, before getting up and clasping her hands to her face ala Edvard Munch and shrieks OH MY GOD IT WAS PREGNANTI We all stare at Sue. We all look back at the fully-dressed-cooked-and-stuffed birds that in no way had any internal organs in them or ever gave live birth Then we all looked back at Sue, trying to figure out where to begin but since shed been trying to justify Cliffs behavior she was pretty much free-associating conspiracies and scandals now, and just kept going. IT WAS PREGNANT MY GOD WE'VE COMMITTED AN ABORTION WE'RE ALL GOING TO HELL FOR THIS, I'M SO SORRY JESUS She goes into full pearl-clutching gibbering horror at this point and falls back into her chair like it's a Victorian fainting couch only it's a shitty chair from the Eisenhower administration so it collapses and she slams into the floor, sobbing and kicking her feet like a toddler Everyone watched for a moment before my Mom sighs heavily and starts carving and serving the turkey while my grandmother mouths she's not coming back Cliff, reactions delayed by about six beers, finally notices his wife is on the floor and tries to pick her up, are assisted by Dad, who is saintly patient man and less immune to this jacknapery at that point. I am stuffing dinner rolls into my face to keep from laughing at this grand spectacle ICANT EAT IT, I REFUSE TO PARTAKE IN THIS BARBARISM Sue begins but Dad puts on his best Kindly Father voice (he was heavily involved with the catholic church and even considered becoming a priest before getting drafted but that's another story)and assures Sue that she need not eat, or even be in the room if she wants. She nods, placated by being the center of attention again, and Dad goes in for the kill. I wouldn't want you to go hungry. Can I make you some That would be lovely." Said Sue, joke flying over her ng 747. I recall watching my grandmot her nearly choke to death on the green beans over that, and everyone pointedly trying to avoid talking about anything poultry-related while Sue sat there and ate the most ironic scrambled eggs in the history of mankind. Shortly thereafter, Cliff threw up in the sink and they went home, and the party got underway properly, with Grandpa raising a toast to Mom and Uncle Bobby For t Turkey has been an staple since then. I'll see if I can hit Uncle Bobby up for instructions but if you decide to make it 1. you HAVE to shriek "OH MY GOD IT WAS PREGNANT when you carve it open, or it's not authentic and won't taste as good 2. Share the pictures with me, Very planned Parenthood
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