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Beautiful, Community, and Leonardo Da Vinci: mmkayn: vastderp: lalaland1212: theatre-whovian: vastderp: Meet the Mona Lisa of the Prado, the earliest known copy of Da Vinci’s best portrait. Similarity in the undersketch of the painting indicates that this was very likely painted concurrently with the original Mona Lisa, by a student of Da Vinci. There is much controversy in the art world over the question of whether or not to clean the fragile Mona Lisa, but her sister has been restored and some fairly odd later alterations removed to show the original vibrant colors and lighting. Some details, such as the sheerness of her shawl and the pattern on the neckline of her dress, have become utterly obscured in the original, but in the restored copy they’re perfectly clear. It blows my mind a little bit to look at these two sisters side-by-side and imagine how much vivid detail could be hiding in the Mona Lisa under 500 years of rotten varnish.  THE COPY HAS EYEBROWS Your response to a beautiful piece of artwork done by Leonardo Da Vinci himself is “SHES GOT EYEBROWS”. Alright. All intelligent life has been lost. Yo Snooty McSnotwhine, the Mona Lisa’s vanished eyebrows have been the subject of debate and analysis in the art expert community for hundreds of years, long before your parents squirted water at each other from across the clown car and then honked their bicycle horns to indicate they really wanted to make a smug, insufferable little clown baby together.  this continues to be the best reply to a criticizing comment on this site

mmkayn: vastderp: lalaland1212: theatre-whovian: vastderp: Meet the Mona Lisa of the Prado, the earliest known copy of Da Vinci’s best p...

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Bad, Birthday, and Butt: FIND YOUR YA BOOK TITLE and MONTH YO U WERE BORN YOUR LAST NAME LAST LETTER O F DAY OF YOUR BIRTHDAY 1 Other Loose Ends 2 Other Things Im Over 3 Other Lies I've Believed 30 Other Fatal Circumstances 4 Other Big, Round Things 31 Other Skullduggeries 5 Other Things I Can't Have 6 Other Lies Ive Told 7 - Other Statistical Improbabilities 8 Other Signs of the End of the World 9 Other Things the Fairies Stole 10 Other Impossible Ordeals 11- Other Signs of Vampirism 12 Other Inexplicable Phenomenon 13 Other Things That Nearly Killed Me 14 Other Reasons No One Will Talk To Me 15 Other Holes in the Fabric of the Universe 16 Other Things That Are Better In Space 17 Other Natural Disasters 18 Other Reasons I'm Banned From the Library 19 Other Reasons I Have To Leave the Country 20 Other Things That Should Happen At Midnight 21 Other Side Effects of Being 16 22 Other Intangible Things 23 Other Peculiar Melancholies 24- Other Steps to Madness 25 Other Alternatives to Necromancy 28 Other Bad Ideas 29- Other Royal Bastards January: A The Sun B Planets C Evil Plots D Fairy Princes E Fate F- The Statue of Liberty G My Butt H- Nikola Tesla I The End of the World J- The Universe K Book Club L Tarot Cards M Assassins N Frida Kahlo O Spies P - Dirty, Rotten Lies Q Rainy Saturdays R Hate S Liberty T- Vampires U-Boyfriends V Girlfriends W- Wizards X- Ping-Pong Y - Totalitarian Regimes 26 Other Unspeakable Evils Z Karl Marx Love Boys Girls Honor Roll February: March: April: May: June July: August: September October November Happy Endings Macchiatos Boy Bands Summertime Cake French Kissing Popularity Chemistry December: 27 Other Unbreakable Laws of Nature basic-banshee: bookporn: I’m still laughing with mine XD via Drunk Austen on Facebook Honour Roll, Planets, and Other Things That Nearly Killed Me.
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Amber Rose, Apparently, and Batman: our tumllr usefnare IS now yov s Superhero name hat are your rukathetransformer: gaogaigar-the-king: sharky857: d-structive: isa-ghost: kikuthestrange: epicfangirl01: brynnicle: kisstheashes: anticoffeebeans: rottenka: gum-xx-drop: stray-puppet: illyriashade56: amber-rose-neko-san: shayhammowolf: ninja-girl2846: uwillbeefoundtonight: shadowamongfireworks: madly-handsome: steg-o-sore-us: bitchimnot-here: internet-explorer-official: slow-moving-mammal: internet-explorer-official: itssarcatsm: omgbrekkerkaz: girlnovels: albarnesauthor: lileyreyes: little-euro-girl: distance-does-not-matter: scholarlypidgeot: residinginpurgatory: extraordinary-arbiter-bluebird: saadoesthecatholic: lawfulgoodness: RIGHTEOUSNESS AND JUSTICE me. still being catholic. the superpower of setting conflict. aw yeah B) also, I happen to be a bird but that’s not really important I’m… dead. Apparently I’m smart. And I can fly. Distance doesn’t matter to me, so… teleporting? Flying? Idk Uhhh. Maybe I can shrink, like Ant-Man? Idk That’s my name… I have no powers. I am weak. I am the Author, Creater and Destroyer of Worlds!! I control the very fate of existence!!! 😈😏 Girl who can novel extensively and deeply about anything and everything apparently. um… being perfect i suppose??? you will bow before my sarcastic werecat powers Um… You have the same power as me, @internet-explorer-official! You’re slow! Buddies!! stepping on ppl I’m extremely good looking but only when i get angry Its either invisibility …..Or I use fireworks instead of smokebombs to get out of situations/make diversions/etc Let’s hope I’m always outside in a large parking lot when i need to use my powers then I’m good at finding things? But only at nighttime? Welp. This is quite obvious. LYCANTHROPY HELL YEAH b-being part cat?? I guess???  Considering part of my name comes from an eldritch god, I’m pretty well off. Very strong, time manipulation powers, I’m all set. Oh.. Yall get gum drops bitches Rotten??? I’m a zomboy??? Antisepticeye and Coffee? XD Uh…am I a phoenix? I would freeze people on contact. I would also be perpetually cold, which is already true. :P I would have the power of sonic scream and the ability to put people to sleep by my rapid, boring talk of fandoms. I’m so strange that I weird them out and they leave I can turn invisible and possess things ….You know, guys….I’m not sure I am a superhero. OM NOM NOM ALL THE MOFOS! 3 *muffled “Jaws” theme playing in the distance* My power is COURAGEAnd being a cyborg fused with a mecha lion fused with several machines to form the King of Braves. But also COURAGE. …I’m caught up in giant alien robot drama. Im a 2.7m high Super human clad in Futuristic juggernaut batman armor wearing a helmet with batwings. Heeeeelll yes maaa boi
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9/11, America, and Children: The Turkey Story So it's 2001, and my family drives from fu California and like three blizzards to get to Ohio for into a nursing home and it's their last holiday in that house. So its a bit bittersweet but ultimately a good thing. Since it's their last holiday there, the family pulls out all the stops when it comes to dinner, all the Russian desserts come out, as does the Lethal Bacon Mashed Potatoes and the horrible candied yams with the mini marshmallows dish because not all expressions of love are even if they are si In the spirit of going alout, Uncle Bobby smokes a Turkey Uncle Bobby started cooking as a boy foil-wrapped potatoes into a campfire and has been ad- dicted since, and now has a hand-made smokehouse in the backyard where he makes various cured meats and other delights. He seasons the turkey in the traditional manner, but he and grandpa have a shared passion for SO Game Hen seasoned that way, for them. Then Bobby has a Brilliant Idea. He realizes that he can stuff the turkey (once it has been smoked) with regular stuffing, and there is still plenty of room for him to put the game hen inside THAT, and stuff the game hen be- cuase why not? He confers with Mom, and she explains how to cut open the turkey so there's dramatic reveal as the stuffing and game hen come out. It's Genius. Except, of course, that my Aunt Sue is attending, Uncle Cliff s after her So the day of the dinner, tensions are running a bit high, between the marathon cooking, the kids al being trapped indoors due to aforementioned blizzards, and Uncle Cliff deciding that the best way to amuse himself is by hiding from the adults in the basement, getting drunk and rambling about how various ethic groups were destroying America. Being that I had close Muslim friends that were leaving the country becuase of 9/11, 1 was near tears from this nonsense and ready to n roughly five times my size. Sue, for some reason, keeps coming down and defending him, or telling us we're rotten children for 'attacking him, becuase she Must Stand By Her Man, even if her man is a hefty bag of dog feces with an ugly mustache My sister eventually boits upstairs to tattle and my grandfather limps down to the basement and brandishes his Hip Bone Cane, hands rock-steady in spite of the Parkinson's slowly taking over him. Firstly Cliff, It may not be my roof much longer but while you are under it you will be civil, or Ill beat your skull in. Also, dinner's ready, everyone go wash up. We go upstairs and sit down, and do the traditional "Name one thing you're thankful for as the bread gets passed around the table, and things calm down a bit. Bobby brings out the Turkey and everyone goes OOH becuase it's really pretty, them Mom carves it open so that the stuffing spills out dramatically along with the game hen and there's an appreciative gasp all around becuase it looks cool. Only Sue KEEPS gasping, in utter horror, before getting up and clasping her hands to her face ala Edvard Munch and shrieks OH MY GOD IT WAS PREGNANTI We all stare at Sue. We all look back at the fully-dressed-cooked-and-stuffed birds that in no way had any internal organs in them or ever gave live birth Then we all looked back at Sue, trying to figure out where to begin but since shed been trying to justify Cliffs behavior she was pretty much free-associating conspiracies and scandals now, and just kept going. IT WAS PREGNANT MY GOD WE'VE COMMITTED AN ABORTION WE'RE ALL GOING TO HELL FOR THIS, I'M SO SORRY JESUS She goes into full pearl-clutching gibbering horror at this point and falls back into her chair like it's a Victorian fainting couch only it's a shitty chair from the Eisenhower administration so it collapses and she slams into the floor, sobbing and kicking her feet like a toddler Everyone watched for a moment before my Mom sighs heavily and starts carving and serving the turkey while my grandmother mouths she's not coming back Cliff, reactions delayed by about six beers, finally notices his wife is on the floor and tries to pick her up, are assisted by Dad, who is saintly patient man and less immune to this jacknapery at that point. I am stuffing dinner rolls into my face to keep from laughing at this grand spectacle ICANT EAT IT, I REFUSE TO PARTAKE IN THIS BARBARISM Sue begins but Dad puts on his best Kindly Father voice (he was heavily involved with the catholic church and even considered becoming a priest before getting drafted but that's another story)and assures Sue that she need not eat, or even be in the room if she wants. She nods, placated by being the center of attention again, and Dad goes in for the kill. I wouldn't want you to go hungry. Can I make you some That would be lovely." Said Sue, joke flying over her ng 747. I recall watching my grandmot her nearly choke to death on the green beans over that, and everyone pointedly trying to avoid talking about anything poultry-related while Sue sat there and ate the most ironic scrambled eggs in the history of mankind. Shortly thereafter, Cliff threw up in the sink and they went home, and the party got underway properly, with Grandpa raising a toast to Mom and Uncle Bobby For t Turkey has been an staple since then. I'll see if I can hit Uncle Bobby up for instructions but if you decide to make it 1. you HAVE to shriek "OH MY GOD IT WAS PREGNANT when you carve it open, or it's not authentic and won't taste as good 2. Share the pictures with me, Very planned Parenthood
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Being Alone, Family, and Friends: FOX friends I've characterized the Antifa people and people like them as protesters, but they're not. They weren't protesting anything ..They weren't trying to change my mind or advocate for a position. They were threatening my family to get me to stop talking." -Tucker Carlson 🔊CLICK VIDEO TURN ON THE VOLUME 🔊 MY NAME IS RICK FERRAN , AKA TANK, I am US Marine Veteran & also a communism survivor who survived 13 years under the oppressive Castro regime. I never in a million years would had imagine having to experience again what I had experience as a child growing in communism. What ANTIFA, Communists ,Socialists , BLM, Black Panthers Para Military Arms of the Democrat Party are doing to the opposition is exactly what the communists did to my family. I remember the first time the communists came to my house, students who were not old enough to know better were lead by my teachers and order my fellow peers to throw rotten eggs, rocks, bottles of urine, and feces at my house. I remember one of My neighbors try to stop the mob and he was lynched by them as I watched through the window. I was alone with my little sister and my Mother who had told us that we couldn’t go to school that morning. Thanks to my Mother sixth sense our family survived another day. My fellow Americans, this is not going to stop. It will get worse, the censorship has already begun, already groups who have tried to fight communist terrorist groups like Antifa are being persecuted and treated like criminals when it should be the other way around. I hold the democrats, the media, and the poor leadership of the Republican party responsible for such actions. The USA needs to turn around this path or we will all experience what real nightmares are made off.
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Advice, Brains, and Coca-Cola: Peanut butter spaceorphan18: sulkingheals: downtroddendeity: jacemp3: monkeysaysficus: audrey-hepbae: catchymemes: 10 tricks you didn’t know you could do with your food. By Blossom The internet went from showing food recipe videos to alchemy in less than a decade. There’s going to be a quick video on how to make the philosopher’s stone from tomato sauce next week.  I WANNA DRINK THE TRANSPARENT SODA leave milk out unrefrigerated in your house for 2 days Some days ago, my sibling sent me this video out of the desperate hope I could provide the catharsis of seeing it torn to pieces. It has now been coming on 72 hours, and only now have I recovered enough to be able to do much of anything but scream, “WHAT?!” and “NO!” at the screen. We had a long discussion about what in the twelve hells this video even is. A surreal, dadaist parody so obscure that our brains aren’t operating on enough levels to comprehend it? The Instagram lifehack equivalent of those terrifying procedurally-generated animated Youtube videos that farm ad revenue by playing millions of times to babies whose parents left the iPad on autoplay? A coded message designed to activate the combat programming of brainwashed cyborg sleeper agents? A post that slipped through a wormhole from an alternate dimension where the laws of reality are different? An emanation of a vast and alien chaos god? I cannot bring myself to confront the claims in this video in the order they are put forth without losing my will to live after the first one, so I will start with the least crazy and work my way up. Bananas to ripen things: More or less true. You’ll sometimes see advice to cooks to store underripe fruit in a paper bag with one piece of overripe (but not rotten) fruit to ripen it more quickly.Misrepresentations: It will probably take longer than overnight to ripen something as green as some of those tomatoes, and it doesn’t have to be a banana. Coca-cola and milk: The coke is more acidic than the milk and curdles it, resulting in solid globs of milk protein which settle out. The brown dye in the coke sticks to the milk protein globs, leaving the excess liquid more or less clear.Misrepresentations: The video has been enormously sped up, which the editing does not make clear; the reaction takes hours. Ketchup to clean metal: To my mild surprise, this is actually a thing (though you could just make a paste out of salt, flour, and vinegar and scrub with that and not get ketchup stains on everything)…Misrepresentations: …for cleaning copper and bronze. Which the jug shown in the video is not. The acid in the ketchup might take some of the tarnish off, say, aluminum, but at that point you might as well just use vinegar. Sparkling water omelet: Omelet souffles are a thing.Misrepresentations: You… literally do not need the sparkling water… you can just beat the eggs until they’re fluffy… “Warm water clears wax from fruits!”: This is a mysterious and arcane procedure called “washing.”Misrepresentations: I don’t know what the hell they even did to the video on this sequence but as a person who has washed many apples in warm water, it does not look like that and the thin layer of edible wax applied to make them look good in the grocery store does not come off that easily. Sprite to clean earrings: Again, this will take tarnish off some metals just due to the acid, but…Misrepresentations: DO YOU WANT GROSS STICKY EARRINGS AND EAR INFECTIONS? JUST USE VINEGAR WATER. Also, “dirt” is not a kind of molecule. (Incidentally, if the earrings are silver, there is a vastly better method that actually reverses the tarnish instead of removing it.) Insta-freeze bottle: This is a real thing…Misrepresentation: …which absolutely will not happen if you follow their instructions, because a) they neglect to mention an important caveat (the water needs to be purified/distilled) and b) 5 minutes is not long enough for a water bottle to supercool. If you google any of the myriad videos and articles of people doing this trick, you’ll see numbers like “3 hours in the freezer” or “40 minutes in a salted ice bath.” There is video of the trick working. Either that footage was taken from someone else, or they knew how to do it, did it, and then deliberately lied about the time for no apparent reason. Putting a broken plate in milk for two days magically fixes it: To my immense surprise, they didn’t make this one up; the idea is that the milk protein casein can form into a plastic at high temperatures and bind to the ceramic. Googling it turned up some hobbyist potters commenting that they’d used it to salvage things that had cracked slightly in the kiln.Misrepresentations: Once again, they’ve misrepresented the method: everything I saw talking about how to do it said to boil the milk and then soak for an hour, not leave it out for two days like an offering to the pixies. And most of what I saw reported about it also said it only really works on hairline cracks, not full breaks, and doesn’t hold up long-term because the real structural damage isn’t repaired. And may leave a faint and persistent odor of boiled milk. Just use superglue. “Reveal the genetic memory of the honeycomb”: This is the kind of gibberish predicated on so many nonsensical assumptions that unpacking it would be more trouble than it’s worth. Plus, well, I can barely see anything with the low video quality, but what I can see of the vague blur doesn’t look much like a honeycomb in the first place. Suffice to say: “Honey looks like a honeycomb” isn’t even in the ballpark of what’s generally meant by “genetic memory,” what’s generally meant by “genetic memory” is also complete hooey, and fluid dynamics is weird and swirling a thick, viscous, water-soluble liquid with a layer of water on top is going to do weird things. But at least that I could potentially attribute to ignorance rather than deliberate intent to deceive, unlike… Hot coals and peanut butter This is the reason it’s taken me this long to post this. Every time I think about it my soul starts to leave my body. It’s such a mind-boggling level of bullshit that every time I’ve tried to put words around an explanation I’m quickly reduced to staring at the screen and mouthing “No” to myself in a voice of quiet despair, because I can’t even figure out where to start. Well, okay, I guess I might as well start by saying I think their… let’s say inspiration on this was articles about scientists who made diamonds out of peanut butter and carbon dioxide. …With a press that’s designed to recreate the conditions of the earth’s mantle, and which is prone to exploding. So, you know, not something you can do in your kitchen. Unless you have one hell of a kitchen. You can see the direct links to this in the nonsensical claim that this “works” because peanut butter contains carbon dioxide. (It doesn’t, particularly. It’s crushed peanuts mixed with oil. You know what would have a lot of carbon dioxide? The fire you pulled that glowing lump of charcoal out of.) It also mentions “pressure” when no particular pressure is involved, presumably because we’ve all heard about turning coal into diamond under heat and pressure. Chemically speaking, there’s very little to make that crystal out of except carbon, unless you want to posit a mass migration of all the sugar molecules in the peanut butter to the center of the coal. And “carbon crystal” = “diamond,” and do you think if it was that easy to make diamonds they’d be that expensive? I will guarantee you that crystal is a lump of quartz they covered in black crud and then peanut butter to pretend it was the charcoal. But, of course, all of that is irrelevant, because by reblogging this at all, even to performatively despair that the internet does not seem to have come all that far since the days of Infinite Chocolate, I’m playing into their hands. Lifehack clickbait has done this forever- they deliberately seed in wrong or awful advice because people will share that to say how stupid/wrong it is. They led with complete insanity to get attention, and I gave them eyeballs on the video watching this, and I’ll be giving them more from writing this. Maybe I’ll stick to the chaos god theory. It’s less depressing. @ohnofixit I apologize for being stupid enough to believe that video so reblogging the breakdown of why it was wrong. Why you shouldn’t believe everything on the internet. 
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Af, Being Alone, and Bad: Tom Sauer @thomasbsauer (THREAD) A few observations from a former bomb disposal officer G.e. Me) 1. Proper pipe bombs don't have wires connected to both ends. That's dumb. 1:15 PM 24 Oct 18 from Washington, DC 1,354 Retweets 1,736 Likes Tom Sauer @thomasbsauer 2. You can find timers/ remote control receivers WAY smaller than whatever that white box is. A proper timer would best be stored inside the pipe, making it fully encapsulated I hat thing is just silly looking 1:15 PM 24 Oct 18 from Washington, DC 224 Retweets 555 Likes Tom Sauer @thomasbsauer 3. Bottom Line: Whoever made that wanted it to be painfully obvious to anyone and everyone that it's a "bomb." This is nearly the same as a bundle of road flares wrapped together with an old-timey alarm clock ticking away. 1:15 PM 24 Oct 18 from Washington, DC 397 Retweets 1,005 Likes Tom Sauer @thomasbsauer 4, "Hoax Devices" are FAR more common than real ones. In which case, we should ask ourselves what the motives of the "bomber" are and "who benefits?" Go ahead. Think deeply and critically. 1:15 PM 24 Oct 18 from Washington, DC 387 Retweets 915 Likes robert-the-redhead-lover: skypig357: robert-the-redhead-lover: skypig357: robert-the-redhead-lover: skypig357: whiskey-gunpowder: skypig357: oldmarine1775: whiskey-gunpowder: the golden rule: if the media pushes something, be very skeptical. If MSM is pushing it, I promise you it’s total BS. If it were Republicans receiving these “bombs” you wouldn’t hear anything about it. Guess you’ve not seen the news. Press conferences. Arrest was made. It was legit. Not hoax devices and not a false flag. And if you don’t think the MSM would cover Republicans getting bombs in the mail you’re insane. Even if they hate republicans they’ll cover that for ratings. Money talks the media is nothing more than a left wing propaganda machine. they report narratives, not facts So is Fox News a right wing propaganda machine they reports narratives, not facts? If the media reports something you want to be true, do you think it’s equally Fake News? Also I’m not basing anything off the media, but the press conference that the FBI and Attorney General made noting the arrest and status of the devices. Then a basic search of the subject (Cesar Sayoc) gives you a trove of information https://www.fbi.gov/news/pressrel/press-releases/fbi-director-christopher-wrays-remarks-regarding-arrest-of-cesar-sayoc-in-suspicious-package-investigationFBI Director Christopher Wray’s Remarks Regarding Arrest of Cesar Sayoc in Suspicious Package InvestigationSourcing of all media is a good idea. Check and double check. But if you go down the rabbit hole of actual distrust and embracing conspiracy theories you’re lost. Weird how the FBI was able to get this guy so quick, yet missed the Parkland shooter, despite years of reports… DNA and fingerprints. If you’re in the system and you’ve committed a national crime, it’ll be over quick. He left evidence Even though I’m in the system (USN), it took them two weeks to run a background check on me when I applied for an airport job, but they nabbed this guy in less than 48 hours? I find that suspicious af. Dude. Your background check act of domestic terrorism that’s targeting politicians and media all over the news in an election year. If you find that suspicious I don’t know what to tell you. What’s the alternative? A conspiracy involving hundreds of FBI agents and techs, local and state law enforcement, postal service, and media? Are you serious? You don’t need all that when folks don’t question and just obey because they’re “taking care of the bad guys.” All you need are a few rotten apples at the top.But, none of those packages went through the mail. That’s given away by the lack of postal cancellation, as well as not enough postage.Otherwise, the timing is what I call suspicious. Hostage situations have taken longer. Hell, since you brought up domestic terrorism, it took them longer to find McVeigh and Kazinski (sp?) than this guy. Even assuming it is the right guy, do we know who he really is? If he was capable of organizing something like this by himself? If he working alone? If he isn’t the face of a larger scheme? It wouldn’t be the first time the “ lone wolf” angle being pushed by the media looked a little suspicious.As an aside, I love it when people get into pointless arguments about CNN vs Fox News and which one is “less biased“, as though they aren’t both owned by the same sort of people and used to pump out varying levels of propaganda for controlled opposition.

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