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Advice, Brains, and Global Warming: I'm gonna take this opportunity to move onAfter all, this weeks TIME Magazine to the advice section of the speech ifyoucalled you lazy, entitled narcissists, who young fölks will take advice from anyone. are part of the MEMEME Generation So self obsessed. Tweeting your Vine's Hashtagging your Spotify's and Snapchatting your YoLOS Your generation needs everything tobe about you and that's very upsetting to us Baby Boomers because self absorption is kind of our thing We re the original ME Generation wemade the last50 yearsaboutus We took all the money wesoaked up llthe governmentsServices and wev deepfried nearly everything in the ocean It may seem that all that's left for you is unpaid internships Monday to Tuesday mail deliver and thanks to global warming, soon, Semester at Se will mean sailing the coast of 0hio While traditional paths may seem harder to find, that means that you ma learn sooner than There is no secret society most generations, the hard lesson that.youut there, that will tap you on the must always make the path for yourselfshoulder one night andshow.you the way Because the true secret is Your life will not be defined by the society that we have left you To paraphrase Robert Bolt: Society has no moreidea of what yo@are than you do-Becauseultimately it has only your brains to think with Every,generation mustdenneitseit, and so, make the world that suits itself So. if you must findyour own path and we have left you no easy path then decide now to choose the hard path, that leads to the life and the world that you want. And don't worry if we don't approve of your choicessIn our.benign self absorption I believe we have given you a gi A particular form of independence. Because you do not owe the previous generation anything Thanks to us ou owe it to the Chinese srsfunny:I Miss Colbert

srsfunny:I Miss Colbert

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Af, Bless Up, and Cum: Taking a sick day to spend time with his penguin @Drsmashlove My lil homegirl text me saying "smash, I went to go see a guy I was talking to who moved, and it ended up being a little bit of a disappointment - I think we built it up too much while we were apart 😕." Ok lemme splain y'all. See what happen when u super charged up sexually with someone but y'all geographically apart is, u start getting into wild fantasy situations when discussing what y'all gonna do. It's never like "I'm gonna have passionate, loving missionary sexual relations with you because the distance hath made me crave you, lover 😍." Nah. Hell nah. U gon be way, way overboard with it: "BABY GIRL...WHEN I FUCKING SEE YOU...IMMA...LISTEN...NO, SHUT UP, LISTEN...IMMA SUSPEND YOU UPSIDE DOWN SIDEWAYS FROM THE CEILING KARMA SUTRA STYLE...FINNA LEAP UP ON YOU LIKE SPIDER MAN...GRAB YOUR NECK WITH ONE HAND AND GRAB YOUR HAIR WITH THE OTHER HAND AND SPANK YOU WITH A THIRD TENTACLE OCTOPUS HAND THAT U AIN'T EVEN SEEN YET AND USE MY FOOT TO HIT YOU WITH THAT HITACHI ON FULL JACKHAMMER MODE...FINNA MAKE YOU CUM 783 TIMES MAMA...YOU DON'T EVEN...LISTEN...ON GOD IT'S FINNA BE ON..." Then y'all link up and he mount you and u kiss his neck and say "I missed you daddy" and he gon YOLO everything he done built up deep inside u, shed a single tear, roll over and schleep because that's what a real one gon do if u got that A1 Masterpiece Punani - especially after a long absence? Goner. U feel me? We miss u mama. That's just how it go down. Side note: there's no moral of the story here. I'm not gon say: "tone it down over text." That long distance pen pal shit is sexy AF! Just manage expectations and understand that in person it's gon be a lil different 🤗. BLESS UP 😍😂😂😂
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