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Viking ISIS: Anonymous (ID: daPUBR5N) 11/27/14(Thu)21:47:13 No.581774840 [Reply] Be me, leader of the Imperial army in Skyrim Stuck in a bullshit civil war because elf assholes are radical fucking milk-drinkers Banned some bullshit god and now I have to deal with viking ISIS Getting too old for this shit One day some asshole in shitty iron armor shows up He says he wants to join the Legion Wait, this asshole was at Helgen He survived the fucking dragon With his hands tied, wearing rags Already dealt with shit for letting prisoners escape after the attack, let's make him pay >Send him to go get some bone crown or some shit Hopefully he'll get murdered by the stormcloaks Hear reports of dragons being killed throughout the country Whatever, less paperwork for me >About 2 years later the guy comes back... wearing armor made out of dragon bones Strangely, he's bleeding out, looks close to death >Everything stops for a moment, I can't move >He suddenly heals back up to perfect health and gets even more built >He hands me the bone crown like it's nothing >Fucking Akatosh I've gotta get rid of this guy >He crouches down right in front of me Oh fuck where did he go Look at guard next to me >Oh shit >He's now naked, holding an apple pie and wearing some stupid jester hat >Asshole reappears in front of me, strangely wearing the guard's armor Eh it's probably just my imagination Send him on some bullshit raiding missions against winter muslims >Pray to the divines he gets murdered out there Viking ISIS
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