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    Amazon, Bad, and Bad Boys: ALEX DE CAMP RO STEIN TED B
 RANDT DE E CUNNIF FE
 THANKS FOR
 COMING ALONG,
 FRANK. IT MEANS
 S'FINE, BARNES.
 IM NOT EXACTW
 OVERBURDEN印
 WITH HOLIDA
 COMMITMENTS
 ン)
 AND I'M
 TRIUWN, DEEPLY
 SOR2N FOR EVERY
 THING THAT'S ABOUT
 TO HAPPEN
 HAPPY^
 HANUKKAH!
 HENRY!
 HERE, AND
 A FRIEND!
 GET IN
 S IT
 A FRIEND
 FRIEND, OR
 JUST A
 FRIEND?
 FREEINGUES BROUGHT
 OUT!
 HOW'S
 STEVE?
 WHAT
 THE...?
 HES BUS
 DOING CHARITY
 aALAS THIS TIME
 OF YEAR.
 DIDNT
 REALY ASK,
 WHN DON'T YOu
 BECAUSE
 GO TO FANCN GALAS? |Y WHEN I SHOW UP
 Nou'D Look aREAT /T ONE, PEOPLE
 JOSH. You
 ARE.?
 IN A TuX
 FUSED.
 ASSUME SOMEONE'S
 GONNA DIE
 THAT'S
 NONSENSE!
 IT'S BEEN
 AGES SINCE
 NOuVE KIuE
 ANNONE.
 THOUGHT
 HE WAS RISH
 CATHOUC
 ITS BEEN
 FOUR VAYS
 MY DAD WAS
 CATHOuc. MY MA
 WAS JENISH.
 SISTER BECCA
 MARRIEN A
 JEWISH GUN.
 I'M JEWISH-
 ADJACENT
 YOu'RE
 A JEW!
 THEN HAD
 LEAH. SHES THE Ow
 LADN IN THE KITCHEN D
 WHO'S GONNA FEED
 You LATKEs uNTIレ
 NOU EXPLODE.

 HENIRN! STOP IT!
 SPEAKING OF
 LEAH, SuE HAS AU
 SORTS OF FAMI
 STORIES ABOuT
 BuCKN AS A KID
 I SPEAK HEBREN
 BECAUSE EVIL SCIENCE
 NAZIS IMPLANTEN IT
 IN MN BZAIN, ALONG
 WITH 18 OTHER
 ANGUAGES.
 HIM DECIDE
 urs
 FOR HIMSELF.
 THERE TO
 DECIDE?
 HIS MOM
 WAS JEWISH, HE
 SPEAKS HEBREW
 HE'S A JEW.
 NO
 FAIR!
 ARE THERE
 PHOTOS?
 HAVE
 To Go To
 STUPIDEBREW
 SCHCOレ.
 CAN I GET
 EVIL SCIENCE
 NAZIS TO
 No
 FINE
 Look, Kiv. WE
 DONT GET MANN WERE KEEPING
 SUPERHEROS.A NOu, AND TO HEL
 CMON
 THERE
 ARE WHOLE
 ALBUMS.
 WITH THE FINE
 PRINT
 I'M NOT
 A HERO
 BulL
 SURVIVED. EVERYTHING
 NOu SURVIvEv,
 AND NOURE STIU
 A GOOD PERSON
 LIGHT aO OUT, EVEN
 WHEN AL WAS DARKENEN WHEN
 AND TERRIBLE
 AROUND NOu.
 YOu HAD NOTHING
 LEFT TO KEEP IT
 aOING
 THIS IS
 NO SMA
 ACHIEVEMENT.
 ift
 HENRN..
 GO GET A
 SHAMMASH
 IT'S TIME.
 HKMC is a work of satire by Alex de Campi (@alexdecampi), Ro Stein (@RosyTintedSpecs), Ted Brandt (@ten_bandits) and Dee
 Cunniffe (@Deezoid). All characters (c) Marvel Comics. I wasn't going to write any more of these, but then the Pitsburgh Syna
 gogue shooting happened and I got real, real mad. Friends: the hate you walk past is the hate you accept. Fight Anti-Semitism
 wherever you see it, whenever, no matter how small. Great evil starts out as little "jokes" people ignore. Don't be an ignorer.
 (Thanks also to Menachem and Brina for checking everything over, and sour cream is the one true latke topping don't @ me.)
jhscdood:
alexdecampi:

Happy Hanukkah, everyone, from these two jerks! I’m posting this a little early this year. Line art by the amazing Ro Stein  Ted Brandt, and colour art by @deecunniffe. 
I want to point out what a technical achievement this story is on the art side. There’s a real joy to creating a whole story in eight panels, but this? This is some magic. We introduce four new characters. In panel 5, SIX PEOPLE are talking. SIX. In the world of comics, that’s almost un-doable. 
Yet Ro and Ted arranged everything so the conversations flow and are sensibly grouped, all the “acting” is fantastic, and then Dee laid on top these beautiful, almost fairytale colours – look at the subtle work, the blush in Henry’s cheeks, Frank’s five o-clock shadow, the shine of the wine bottle’s glass surface, the light texturing in the backgrounds… and of course the snow! This is some first-class illustration work on an incredibly hard script. (I fear Ro and Ted always get me at my worst – my very formalist script for them in the 24 Panels anthology was no cakewalk either. (The problem is, they’re just so damn good at it… check out their work on the Image comic Crowded!)
As always, if you like what we do in Hells Kitchen Movie Club, consider donating a little to a veteran’s charity. 
(I also have a thriller novel I’m crowdfunding, please check it out, we are more than halfway there. The book is all written…)
Previously in Hell: cover image // 01 // 02 // 03 // Xmas // 04 // 05 // 06 // 07 // Hanukkah // That time the Punisher’s creator gave us a thumbs-up // twitter // insta


I AM CRYING THIS IS GORGEOUS

    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                
                    Amazon, Bad, and Bad Boys: ALEX DE CAMP RO STEIN TED B
 RANDT DE E CUNNIF FE
 THANKS FOR
 COMING ALONG,
 FRANK. IT MEANS
 S'FINE, BARNES.
 IM NOT EXACTW
 OVERBURDEN印
 WITH HOLIDA
 COMMITMENTS
 ン)
 AND I'M
 TRIUWN, DEEPLY
 SOR2N FOR EVERY
 THING THAT'S ABOUT
 TO HAPPEN
 HAPPY^
 HANUKKAH!
 HENRY!
 HERE, AND
 A FRIEND!
 GET IN
 S IT
 A FRIEND
 FRIEND, OR
 JUST A
 FRIEND?
 FREEINGUES BROUGHT
 OUT!
 HOW'S
 STEVE?
 WHAT
 THE...?
 HES BUS
 DOING CHARITY
 aALAS THIS TIME
 OF YEAR.
 DIDNT
 REALY ASK,
 WHN DON'T YOu
 BECAUSE
 GO TO FANCN GALAS? |Y WHEN I SHOW UP
 Nou'D Look aREAT /T ONE, PEOPLE
 JOSH. You
 ARE.?
 IN A TuX
 FUSED.
 ASSUME SOMEONE'S
 GONNA DIE
 THAT'S
 NONSENSE!
 IT'S BEEN
 AGES SINCE
 NOuVE KIuE
 ANNONE.
 THOUGHT
 HE WAS RISH
 CATHOUC
 ITS BEEN
 FOUR VAYS
 MY DAD WAS
 CATHOuc. MY MA
 WAS JENISH.
 SISTER BECCA
 MARRIEN A
 JEWISH GUN.
 I'M JEWISH-
 ADJACENT
 YOu'RE
 A JEW!
 THEN HAD
 LEAH. SHES THE Ow
 LADN IN THE KITCHEN D
 WHO'S GONNA FEED
 You LATKEs uNTIレ
 NOU EXPLODE.

 HENIRN! STOP IT!
 SPEAKING OF
 LEAH, SuE HAS AU
 SORTS OF FAMI
 STORIES ABOuT
 BuCKN AS A KID
 I SPEAK HEBREN
 BECAUSE EVIL SCIENCE
 NAZIS IMPLANTEN IT
 IN MN BZAIN, ALONG
 WITH 18 OTHER
 ANGUAGES.
 HIM DECIDE
 urs
 FOR HIMSELF.
 THERE TO
 DECIDE?
 HIS MOM
 WAS JEWISH, HE
 SPEAKS HEBREW
 HE'S A JEW.
 NO
 FAIR!
 ARE THERE
 PHOTOS?
 HAVE
 To Go To
 STUPIDEBREW
 SCHCOレ.
 CAN I GET
 EVIL SCIENCE
 NAZIS TO
 No
 FINE
 Look, Kiv. WE
 DONT GET MANN WERE KEEPING
 SUPERHEROS.A NOu, AND TO HEL
 CMON
 THERE
 ARE WHOLE
 ALBUMS.
 WITH THE FINE
 PRINT
 I'M NOT
 A HERO
 BulL
 SURVIVED. EVERYTHING
 NOu SURVIvEv,
 AND NOURE STIU
 A GOOD PERSON
 LIGHT aO OUT, EVEN
 WHEN AL WAS DARKENEN WHEN
 AND TERRIBLE
 AROUND NOu.
 YOu HAD NOTHING
 LEFT TO KEEP IT
 aOING
 THIS IS
 NO SMA
 ACHIEVEMENT.
 ift
 HENRN..
 GO GET A
 SHAMMASH
 IT'S TIME.
 HKMC is a work of satire by Alex de Campi (@alexdecampi), Ro Stein (@RosyTintedSpecs), Ted Brandt (@ten_bandits) and Dee
 Cunniffe (@Deezoid). All characters (c) Marvel Comics. I wasn't going to write any more of these, but then the Pitsburgh Syna
 gogue shooting happened and I got real, real mad. Friends: the hate you walk past is the hate you accept. Fight Anti-Semitism
 wherever you see it, whenever, no matter how small. Great evil starts out as little "jokes" people ignore. Don't be an ignorer.
 (Thanks also to Menachem and Brina for checking everything over, and sour cream is the one true latke topping don't @ me.)
jhscdood:
alexdecampi:

Happy Hanukkah, everyone, from these two jerks! I’m posting this a little early this year. Line art by the amazing Ro Stein  Ted Brandt, and colour art by @deecunniffe. 
I want to point out what a technical achievement this story is on the art side. There’s a real joy to creating a whole story in eight panels, but this? This is some magic. We introduce four new characters. In panel 5, SIX PEOPLE are talking. SIX. In the world of comics, that’s almost un-doable. 
Yet Ro and Ted arranged everything so the conversations flow and are sensibly grouped, all the “acting” is fantastic, and then Dee laid on top these beautiful, almost fairytale colours – look at the subtle work, the blush in Henry’s cheeks, Frank’s five o-clock shadow, the shine of the wine bottle’s glass surface, the light texturing in the backgrounds… and of course the snow! This is some first-class illustration work on an incredibly hard script. (I fear Ro and Ted always get me at my worst – my very formalist script for them in the 24 Panels anthology was no cakewalk either. (The problem is, they’re just so damn good at it… check out their work on the Image comic Crowded!)
As always, if you like what we do in Hells Kitchen Movie Club, consider donating a little to a veteran’s charity. 
(I also have a thriller novel I’m crowdfunding, please check it out, we are more than halfway there. The book is all written…)
Previously in Hell: cover image // 01 // 02 // 03 // Xmas // 04 // 05 // 06 // 07 // Hanukkah // That time the Punisher’s creator gave us a thumbs-up // twitter // insta


I AM CRYING THIS IS GORGEOUS

                    
                
            

            
            
        

    



        

    

    
    
    

        

            



        

    

    
    
    

        

            



        

    

    
    
    

        

            



        

    

    
    
    

        

            
            
        

    

    
    

        

            



        

    

    
    
    

        

            



        

    

    
    
    

        

            



        

    

    
    
    

        

            



        

    

    
    
    

        

            



        

    

    
    
    

        

            



        

    

    
    
    

        

            
            
        

    

    
    

        

            



        

    

    
    
    

        

            



        

    

    
    
    

        

            



        

    

    
    
    

        

            




    Ass, Bad, and Bitch: HOW DOMINO'S PIZZA
 TRACKER SAVED A LIFE
 This is a story of why dating bipolar girls is not a good idea and how the
 Domino's Pizza tracker saved my life
 I have always been on the fence when it comes to Pizza Hut Vs. Dominos.
 I don't eat enough pizza from either to really have a concrete answer of
 which one makes a better pie. I can tell you one solid truth... As my last
 relationship ended and the lies, scandals and deceptions came out, after all
 was said and done, my psycho ex girlfriend did teach me one VERY
 important thing
 ALWAYS choose Domino's over pizza hut.
 I had been having trouble with my now Ex-girlfriend for quite awhile, I won't
 go into details, but let's just say she went crazy. I thought, simple: I'Il just
 break it off
 Wrong
 One Friday night, around 8:00pm, after a long week of work and incessant
 phone calls/psychotic voicemails from the unbalanced EX, I decided I was
 going to stay in, which one any weekend night is abnormal for me. Usually
 on weekend nights that I am in, I usually am cool with a movie, a 6 pack
 and a pizza. I had been ordering from Pizza Hut the last few times, but after
 a constant bombardment with Domino's WEVE CHANGED OUR SHIT,I
 SWEAR WE RE AWESOME NOW ad campaign, I decided to give it a
 shot
 Around 8pm, I went online to order my pizza I built a modest 2 topping
 medium pizza, and placed my order. You have to love how far we have
 come in the delivery pizza world
 Immediately afterwards, I was introduced to the piece of a software that
 would save my neck
 The Pizza Tracker
 Pizza tracker? Fuck yeah, the pizza tracker. If you don't know what the
 pizza tracker is, then get your ass online right now and order a pizza from
 Domino's It's the equivalent of a loading bar on a web browser, except at
 the end of the loading you get a delicious pizza
 ORDER
 MENU
 COUPONS LOCATIONS TRACKER ESPANO
 This is where the night got interesting.
 I am on my couch, one eye on "Parks and Rec the other on the pizza
 tracker displayed on my lap top that joined me on the couch.
 We had just entered stage 2. Prep.
 KNOCKI KNOCKI KNOCK
 For a split second I thought, "woh that was fast, Iput my order in 10
 minutes ago and pizza tracker says it's still in stage 2
 By the end of my thought, the door swung open
 Guess who
 Yep, it was my psychotic EX. Knife in hand, she starts threatening to do
 some pretty awful things. I try to stand up, she freaks. I stay on the couch
 and attempt to calm her down. She goes into a hysterical rant about us
 getting back together, ya right, and I glance at the pizza tracker
 Stage 3. Bake (Juan is putting your order in the oven)
 She goes on while all I can think is GO JUAN GO!!!GET THAT SHIT IN
 THE OVEN
 l try to calm her down, I stand up and she freaks out and tells me "SIT THE
 FUCK DOWN!!
 She continues on her violet outburst and I tell her we can work things out
 hoping to get her to calm down. It's no use.
 I decide I need to try and get to my phone. l inconspicuously try to look for
 my cell phone. Dammit! I left it my room. I am screwed. I am dead. The
 pizza man will get blamed for this! Oh, the poor pizza boy will be wrongfully
 blamed and get life in prison for what this unstable bitch is going to do to
 me
 STAGE 41 BOX
 FUCK YEAH! They are boxing up my pizza. Get your ass over here
 She continues on for another 5 minutes. Trying to make eye contact,
 glancing at the pizza tracker every second she looks away
 Stage 51 DELIVERY Alejandro is delivering your pizza
 GOD SPEED ALEJENDROIII MY LIFE AND YOUR FREEDOM RELY ON
 THIS
 Knowing that the Alejandro is on the way, I try and just keep her talking, but
 the more she talks the more enraged she gets. I try to interupt, but that just
 makes things worse
 It's been 10 minutes, Alejandro should be here any time
 She continues, she is yelling at the top of her lungs about the things we
 could have been. I am still banking that Alejandro will be here any second
 and save the day
 10 more minutes go by
 Alejandro GET YOUR ASS IN GEAR
 SHE IS OFFICIALLY FREAKING THE FUCK OUT. She puts the knife up to
 her wrist and then takes it away. I am panicking. Where the fuck is
 Alejandro! Pizza tracker tells me we're still in stage 5. FUCK YOU PIZZA
 TRACKER, YOUVE BEEN IN STAGE 5 FOR 25 MINUTES!!!! I will never
 order from Domino's again!!! After this thought I immediately think to
 myself, I will be dead, so I will probably never order another pizza again.
 Right then, the cops come in. At gunpoint they calm her down and obtain
 the knife. Alejandro had shown up to the door wide open and saw psycho
 with the knife and went back to his 98 Honda Accord and called the cops.
 Domino's pizza literally saved my life. They should change the name from
 the pizza tracker to the savior tracker
 Alejandro is the true definition of a hero. In a way, Alejandro is the 5th ninja
 turtle. He showed up, accessed the situation, didnt panic, and saved my
 ass from the bad guys. Oh yeah, and he brought a fucking excellent pizza
 too.
 THIS IS THE MOST AWESOME THING I HAVE EVER READ POWER TO THE
 PIZZA
 MA THEMETAPICTURECOM
srsfunny:

Very Well Done Domino’s Pizza Tracker
    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                
                    Ass, Bad, and Bitch: HOW DOMINO'S PIZZA
 TRACKER SAVED A LIFE
 This is a story of why dating bipolar girls is not a good idea and how the
 Domino's Pizza tracker saved my life
 I have always been on the fence when it comes to Pizza Hut Vs. Dominos.
 I don't eat enough pizza from either to really have a concrete answer of
 which one makes a better pie. I can tell you one solid truth... As my last
 relationship ended and the lies, scandals and deceptions came out, after all
 was said and done, my psycho ex girlfriend did teach me one VERY
 important thing
 ALWAYS choose Domino's over pizza hut.
 I had been having trouble with my now Ex-girlfriend for quite awhile, I won't
 go into details, but let's just say she went crazy. I thought, simple: I'Il just
 break it off
 Wrong
 One Friday night, around 8:00pm, after a long week of work and incessant
 phone calls/psychotic voicemails from the unbalanced EX, I decided I was
 going to stay in, which one any weekend night is abnormal for me. Usually
 on weekend nights that I am in, I usually am cool with a movie, a 6 pack
 and a pizza. I had been ordering from Pizza Hut the last few times, but after
 a constant bombardment with Domino's WEVE CHANGED OUR SHIT,I
 SWEAR WE RE AWESOME NOW ad campaign, I decided to give it a
 shot
 Around 8pm, I went online to order my pizza I built a modest 2 topping
 medium pizza, and placed my order. You have to love how far we have
 come in the delivery pizza world
 Immediately afterwards, I was introduced to the piece of a software that
 would save my neck
 The Pizza Tracker
 Pizza tracker? Fuck yeah, the pizza tracker. If you don't know what the
 pizza tracker is, then get your ass online right now and order a pizza from
 Domino's It's the equivalent of a loading bar on a web browser, except at
 the end of the loading you get a delicious pizza
 ORDER
 MENU
 COUPONS LOCATIONS TRACKER ESPANO
 This is where the night got interesting.
 I am on my couch, one eye on "Parks and Rec the other on the pizza
 tracker displayed on my lap top that joined me on the couch.
 We had just entered stage 2. Prep.
 KNOCKI KNOCKI KNOCK
 For a split second I thought, "woh that was fast, Iput my order in 10
 minutes ago and pizza tracker says it's still in stage 2
 By the end of my thought, the door swung open
 Guess who
 Yep, it was my psychotic EX. Knife in hand, she starts threatening to do
 some pretty awful things. I try to stand up, she freaks. I stay on the couch
 and attempt to calm her down. She goes into a hysterical rant about us
 getting back together, ya right, and I glance at the pizza tracker
 Stage 3. Bake (Juan is putting your order in the oven)
 She goes on while all I can think is GO JUAN GO!!!GET THAT SHIT IN
 THE OVEN
 l try to calm her down, I stand up and she freaks out and tells me "SIT THE
 FUCK DOWN!!
 She continues on her violet outburst and I tell her we can work things out
 hoping to get her to calm down. It's no use.
 I decide I need to try and get to my phone. l inconspicuously try to look for
 my cell phone. Dammit! I left it my room. I am screwed. I am dead. The
 pizza man will get blamed for this! Oh, the poor pizza boy will be wrongfully
 blamed and get life in prison for what this unstable bitch is going to do to
 me
 STAGE 41 BOX
 FUCK YEAH! They are boxing up my pizza. Get your ass over here
 She continues on for another 5 minutes. Trying to make eye contact,
 glancing at the pizza tracker every second she looks away
 Stage 51 DELIVERY Alejandro is delivering your pizza
 GOD SPEED ALEJENDROIII MY LIFE AND YOUR FREEDOM RELY ON
 THIS
 Knowing that the Alejandro is on the way, I try and just keep her talking, but
 the more she talks the more enraged she gets. I try to interupt, but that just
 makes things worse
 It's been 10 minutes, Alejandro should be here any time
 She continues, she is yelling at the top of her lungs about the things we
 could have been. I am still banking that Alejandro will be here any second
 and save the day
 10 more minutes go by
 Alejandro GET YOUR ASS IN GEAR
 SHE IS OFFICIALLY FREAKING THE FUCK OUT. She puts the knife up to
 her wrist and then takes it away. I am panicking. Where the fuck is
 Alejandro! Pizza tracker tells me we're still in stage 5. FUCK YOU PIZZA
 TRACKER, YOUVE BEEN IN STAGE 5 FOR 25 MINUTES!!!! I will never
 order from Domino's again!!! After this thought I immediately think to
 myself, I will be dead, so I will probably never order another pizza again.
 Right then, the cops come in. At gunpoint they calm her down and obtain
 the knife. Alejandro had shown up to the door wide open and saw psycho
 with the knife and went back to his 98 Honda Accord and called the cops.
 Domino's pizza literally saved my life. They should change the name from
 the pizza tracker to the savior tracker
 Alejandro is the true definition of a hero. In a way, Alejandro is the 5th ninja
 turtle. He showed up, accessed the situation, didnt panic, and saved my
 ass from the bad guys. Oh yeah, and he brought a fucking excellent pizza
 too.
 THIS IS THE MOST AWESOME THING I HAVE EVER READ POWER TO THE
 PIZZA
 MA THEMETAPICTURECOM
srsfunny:

Very Well Done Domino’s Pizza Tracker
                    
                
            

            
            
        

    



        

    

    
    
    

        

            




    Ass, Bad, and Bitch: HOW DOMINO'S PIZZA
 TRACKER SAVED A LIFE
 This is a story of why dating bipolar girls is not a good idea and how the
 Domino's Pizza tracker saved my life
 I have always been on the fence when it comes to Pizza Hut Vs. Dominos.
 I don't eat enough pizza from either to really have a concrete answer of
 which one makes a better pie. I can tell you one solid truth... As my last
 relationship ended and the lies, scandals and deceptions came out, after all
 was said and done, my psycho ex girlfriend did teach me one VERY
 important thing
 ALWAYS choose Domino's over pizza hut.
 I had been having trouble with my now Ex-girlfriend for quite awhile, I won't
 go into details, but let's just say she went crazy. I thought, simple: I'Il just
 break it off
 Wrong
 One Friday night, around 8:00pm, after a long week of work and incessant
 phone calls/psychotic voicemails from the unbalanced EX, I decided I was
 going to stay in, which one any weekend night is abnormal for me. Usually
 on weekend nights that I am in, I usually am cool with a movie, a 6 pack
 and a pizza. I had been ordering from Pizza Hut the last few times, but after
 a constant bombardment with Domino's WEVE CHANGED OUR SHIT,I
 SWEAR WE RE AWESOME NOW ad campaign, I decided to give it a
 shot
 Around 8pm, I went online to order my pizza I built a modest 2 topping
 medium pizza, and placed my order. You have to love how far we have
 come in the delivery pizza world
 Immediately afterwards, I was introduced to the piece of a software that
 would save my neck
 The Pizza Tracker
 Pizza tracker? Fuck yeah, the pizza tracker. If you don't know what the
 pizza tracker is, then get your ass online right now and order a pizza from
 Domino's It's the equivalent of a loading bar on a web browser, except at
 the end of the loading you get a delicious pizza
 ORDER
 MENU
 COUPONS LOCATIONS TRACKER ESPANO
 This is where the night got interesting.
 I am on my couch, one eye on "Parks and Rec the other on the pizza
 tracker displayed on my lap top that joined me on the couch.
 We had just entered stage 2. Prep.
 KNOCKI KNOCKI KNOCK
 For a split second I thought, "woh that was fast, Iput my order in 10
 minutes ago and pizza tracker says it's still in stage 2
 By the end of my thought, the door swung open
 Guess who
 Yep, it was my psychotic EX. Knife in hand, she starts threatening to do
 some pretty awful things. I try to stand up, she freaks. I stay on the couch
 and attempt to calm her down. She goes into a hysterical rant about us
 getting back together, ya right, and I glance at the pizza tracker
 Stage 3. Bake (Juan is putting your order in the oven)
 She goes on while all I can think is GO JUAN GO!!!GET THAT SHIT IN
 THE OVEN
 l try to calm her down, I stand up and she freaks out and tells me "SIT THE
 FUCK DOWN!!
 She continues on her violet outburst and I tell her we can work things out
 hoping to get her to calm down. It's no use.
 I decide I need to try and get to my phone. l inconspicuously try to look for
 my cell phone. Dammit! I left it my room. I am screwed. I am dead. The
 pizza man will get blamed for this! Oh, the poor pizza boy will be wrongfully
 blamed and get life in prison for what this unstable bitch is going to do to
 me
 STAGE 41 BOX
 FUCK YEAH! They are boxing up my pizza. Get your ass over here
 She continues on for another 5 minutes. Trying to make eye contact,
 glancing at the pizza tracker every second she looks away
 Stage 51 DELIVERY Alejandro is delivering your pizza
 GOD SPEED ALEJENDROIII MY LIFE AND YOUR FREEDOM RELY ON
 THIS
 Knowing that the Alejandro is on the way, I try and just keep her talking, but
 the more she talks the more enraged she gets. I try to interupt, but that just
 makes things worse
 It's been 10 minutes, Alejandro should be here any time
 She continues, she is yelling at the top of her lungs about the things we
 could have been. I am still banking that Alejandro will be here any second
 and save the day
 10 more minutes go by
 Alejandro GET YOUR ASS IN GEAR
 SHE IS OFFICIALLY FREAKING THE FUCK OUT. She puts the knife up to
 her wrist and then takes it away. I am panicking. Where the fuck is
 Alejandro! Pizza tracker tells me we're still in stage 5. FUCK YOU PIZZA
 TRACKER, YOUVE BEEN IN STAGE 5 FOR 25 MINUTES!!!! I will never
 order from Domino's again!!! After this thought I immediately think to
 myself, I will be dead, so I will probably never order another pizza again.
 Right then, the cops come in. At gunpoint they calm her down and obtain
 the knife. Alejandro had shown up to the door wide open and saw psycho
 with the knife and went back to his 98 Honda Accord and called the cops.
 Domino's pizza literally saved my life. They should change the name from
 the pizza tracker to the savior tracker
 Alejandro is the true definition of a hero. In a way, Alejandro is the 5th ninja
 turtle. He showed up, accessed the situation, didnt panic, and saved my
 ass from the bad guys. Oh yeah, and he brought a fucking excellent pizza
 too.
 THIS IS THE MOST AWESOME THING I HAVE EVER READ POWER TO THE
 PIZZA
 MA THEMETAPICTURECOM
srsfunny:Very Well Done Domino’s Pizza Tracker
    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                
                    Ass, Bad, and Bitch: HOW DOMINO'S PIZZA
 TRACKER SAVED A LIFE
 This is a story of why dating bipolar girls is not a good idea and how the
 Domino's Pizza tracker saved my life
 I have always been on the fence when it comes to Pizza Hut Vs. Dominos.
 I don't eat enough pizza from either to really have a concrete answer of
 which one makes a better pie. I can tell you one solid truth... As my last
 relationship ended and the lies, scandals and deceptions came out, after all
 was said and done, my psycho ex girlfriend did teach me one VERY
 important thing
 ALWAYS choose Domino's over pizza hut.
 I had been having trouble with my now Ex-girlfriend for quite awhile, I won't
 go into details, but let's just say she went crazy. I thought, simple: I'Il just
 break it off
 Wrong
 One Friday night, around 8:00pm, after a long week of work and incessant
 phone calls/psychotic voicemails from the unbalanced EX, I decided I was
 going to stay in, which one any weekend night is abnormal for me. Usually
 on weekend nights that I am in, I usually am cool with a movie, a 6 pack
 and a pizza. I had been ordering from Pizza Hut the last few times, but after
 a constant bombardment with Domino's WEVE CHANGED OUR SHIT,I
 SWEAR WE RE AWESOME NOW ad campaign, I decided to give it a
 shot
 Around 8pm, I went online to order my pizza I built a modest 2 topping
 medium pizza, and placed my order. You have to love how far we have
 come in the delivery pizza world
 Immediately afterwards, I was introduced to the piece of a software that
 would save my neck
 The Pizza Tracker
 Pizza tracker? Fuck yeah, the pizza tracker. If you don't know what the
 pizza tracker is, then get your ass online right now and order a pizza from
 Domino's It's the equivalent of a loading bar on a web browser, except at
 the end of the loading you get a delicious pizza
 ORDER
 MENU
 COUPONS LOCATIONS TRACKER ESPANO
 This is where the night got interesting.
 I am on my couch, one eye on "Parks and Rec the other on the pizza
 tracker displayed on my lap top that joined me on the couch.
 We had just entered stage 2. Prep.
 KNOCKI KNOCKI KNOCK
 For a split second I thought, "woh that was fast, Iput my order in 10
 minutes ago and pizza tracker says it's still in stage 2
 By the end of my thought, the door swung open
 Guess who
 Yep, it was my psychotic EX. Knife in hand, she starts threatening to do
 some pretty awful things. I try to stand up, she freaks. I stay on the couch
 and attempt to calm her down. She goes into a hysterical rant about us
 getting back together, ya right, and I glance at the pizza tracker
 Stage 3. Bake (Juan is putting your order in the oven)
 She goes on while all I can think is GO JUAN GO!!!GET THAT SHIT IN
 THE OVEN
 l try to calm her down, I stand up and she freaks out and tells me "SIT THE
 FUCK DOWN!!
 She continues on her violet outburst and I tell her we can work things out
 hoping to get her to calm down. It's no use.
 I decide I need to try and get to my phone. l inconspicuously try to look for
 my cell phone. Dammit! I left it my room. I am screwed. I am dead. The
 pizza man will get blamed for this! Oh, the poor pizza boy will be wrongfully
 blamed and get life in prison for what this unstable bitch is going to do to
 me
 STAGE 41 BOX
 FUCK YEAH! They are boxing up my pizza. Get your ass over here
 She continues on for another 5 minutes. Trying to make eye contact,
 glancing at the pizza tracker every second she looks away
 Stage 51 DELIVERY Alejandro is delivering your pizza
 GOD SPEED ALEJENDROIII MY LIFE AND YOUR FREEDOM RELY ON
 THIS
 Knowing that the Alejandro is on the way, I try and just keep her talking, but
 the more she talks the more enraged she gets. I try to interupt, but that just
 makes things worse
 It's been 10 minutes, Alejandro should be here any time
 She continues, she is yelling at the top of her lungs about the things we
 could have been. I am still banking that Alejandro will be here any second
 and save the day
 10 more minutes go by
 Alejandro GET YOUR ASS IN GEAR
 SHE IS OFFICIALLY FREAKING THE FUCK OUT. She puts the knife up to
 her wrist and then takes it away. I am panicking. Where the fuck is
 Alejandro! Pizza tracker tells me we're still in stage 5. FUCK YOU PIZZA
 TRACKER, YOUVE BEEN IN STAGE 5 FOR 25 MINUTES!!!! I will never
 order from Domino's again!!! After this thought I immediately think to
 myself, I will be dead, so I will probably never order another pizza again.
 Right then, the cops come in. At gunpoint they calm her down and obtain
 the knife. Alejandro had shown up to the door wide open and saw psycho
 with the knife and went back to his 98 Honda Accord and called the cops.
 Domino's pizza literally saved my life. They should change the name from
 the pizza tracker to the savior tracker
 Alejandro is the true definition of a hero. In a way, Alejandro is the 5th ninja
 turtle. He showed up, accessed the situation, didnt panic, and saved my
 ass from the bad guys. Oh yeah, and he brought a fucking excellent pizza
 too.
 THIS IS THE MOST AWESOME THING I HAVE EVER READ POWER TO THE
 PIZZA
 MA THEMETAPICTURECOM
srsfunny:Very Well Done Domino’s Pizza Tracker