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Bad, Bless Up, and Bodies : Invest in tennis balls, they have a high return rate @DrSmashlove Reddit ulyerawizzardarry Ladies cot dammit if ya man take a dive down under and hit ya Nani with that impeccable TungWerk ยฎ๏ธ make a lil eye contact. U feel me? Look him in the eye while he working, he dutiful. It ainโ€™t gotta be a staring contest just that lil belly crunchie where u lean up for a sec with that drooly grin ๐Ÿคค before laying back down and clutching ya own bresstassiss again lol. The look in the eye say โ€œI am validating your efforts, which are appreciated. Go Head with that whirlwind devil tung boy who raised u? Is u half Man half reptile with that tornado tung? U tryina eff around and make me fall in love? YOU ๐Ÿ‘ DONT ๐Ÿ‘ WANT ๐Ÿ‘ ME ๐Ÿ‘ TO ๐Ÿ‘ FALL ๐Ÿ‘ IN ๐Ÿ‘LOVE ๐Ÿ‘THATโ€™S ๐Ÿ‘WHEN ๐Ÿ‘ THE ๐Ÿ‘ CRAZY ๐Ÿ‘ COME ๐Ÿ‘ OUT ๐Ÿ‘ NOT ๐Ÿ‘ THE ๐Ÿ‘ GOOD ๐Ÿ‘ CRAZY ๐Ÿ‘ BUT ๐Ÿ‘ THE ๐Ÿ‘ BAD CRAZY. ๐Ÿ‘BOI...imma have to ohhhghhhhhh ggggahhhhhhโ€ *digs manicure nails into scalp* โ€œI ahhhhhhh yesyesyesyesyes DONโ€™T STOP FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU ๐Ÿ˜ฉโ€ โ€” You feel me? That interaction is clutch. I be seeing some of u criminals tho bruv ๐Ÿ˜‚ - I start going down under and yโ€™all wanna close ya eyes and play out a whole separate movie in ya head. How do I know what movie dat is? Maybe itโ€™s me on a snowy mountain top wearing only a fur loin cloth riding a unicorn with my hair blowing in the arctic wind (I donโ€™t have long hair and anyway my hair donโ€™t blow but bear with me lmao) or maybe itโ€™s another movie entirely that I ainโ€™t even in!? โ€œWell smash now I KNOW you donโ€™t know as much as women as you purport to...some women canโ€™t bust unless they close their eyes and go to a happy place STOP ๐Ÿ›‘ TRYING ๐Ÿ›‘ TO ๐Ÿ›‘ CONTROL ๐Ÿ›‘ OUR ๐Ÿ›‘ BODIES.โ€ Whoa derr ma. Now u doing too much. U free to go to a happy place, just give a brother a glance! U feel me? A small token of your appreciation. Inside every man is a little part of him thatโ€™s a hurt lil boy who need reinforcement. If u think u with some super macho lookin a$$ boy who ainโ€™t got this lil part of him that just mean he good at hiding it but he likely got the ultimate mommy-daddy issues that ainโ€™t came out yet jus wait on it ๐Ÿ˜‚. For the rest of u, LOOK HIM IN THE EYE - to be a good plant manager u gotta be appreciative of the pipe layer so he keep doing a good job BLESS UP ๐Ÿค—๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜‚
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Bless Up, Costco, and Doctor: The many faces of derp The hygiene discussion continues. My lil homegirl text me this morning: โ€œHahaah omg smash! My friends have encountered a few guys lately that aren't circumsized and don't wash well..... how does someone not notice!???โ€ Now men if yโ€™all possess Thee Natural Foreskin nine times out of ten itโ€™s yo mamaโ€™s fault - she was just following cultural norms and told the OB โ€œwhoa derr...you ainโ€™t chopping off my sonโ€™s foreskinโ€ and the doctor followed mamaโ€™s wishes and left lil manโ€™s PP intact. For instance my Dominican homie told me that most Dominicans leave the PP skin intact. My lil Armenian homegirl told me that Armenian men are 50-50, sometimes Cleanie Weenie, sometimes Cheesy Weasy u feel me? Personally Iโ€™m Cleanie Weenie but I respect all cultures. Regardless, itโ€™s on a grown man to assess the cleanliness of his situation and cleanse accordingly. Men if u all-natural uncut imma need u to boil some water in the microwave. Put a towel over your head and breathe that steam nice and deep to cleanse the nasal passage. Then take a cup full of coffee beans just like they got at Sephora and take a nice deep breath to cleanse yo palette. Then wait a few seconds, drop ya drawls, bend all the way over so yo nostrils is closest to yo PP, pull the covering back, and inhale deeply. If it smell like Dove soap bruv...lilacs and lavender and almond butter coconut essence? U good money. On the other hand if it smell like that sliced cheese assortment u copped at Costco for a party one time bc u felt like u grown and u gon serve wine and cheese at a party but u had left over cheese from the platter so u stuffed it in the back left corner of the fridge behind the strawberries and bread and u find it eight months later and it got a farm of green foliage growing on it Bruv and u took one whiff and u wanted to vomit ... if yo PP smell like an expired grown-and-sexy Costco cheese platter Bruv? YOU NEED TO CLEANSE YASELF. Just warm water and soap. Shit ainโ€™t rocket science. RIP to the dignity of the poor women that u subject to your CheesyPP โ€” Susan B Anthony ainโ€™t die for this. WE CAN DO BETTER. BLESS UP ๐Ÿคž๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚
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Dekh Bhai, International, and Answers: Self Respect is more important than Money Dr. Mashoor Gulati No1 can replace you H Bha ji! Yes, You hurt me deeply. Working with you has been a learning experience. Just one advice start respecting human beings also apart from animals. All are not as successful as you are. All are not as talented as you are. But if they all are talented like you, who will value you. So, have some gratitude towards their existence. And also, If someone is correcting you, don't abuse that person. O DekhBhai Refrain from using foul language In front of women who have nothing to do with the stardom you carry, they are by chance just travelling with you. Thanks for making me Trealise it was your show and you have power to throw out anybody, anytime. You are the wittiest, and the best in your field. But don't act like a God" Take good care of yourself. Wish you lot more success and fame Respect ๐Ÿ’ฏโค๏ธ Wish this never happened! We loved watching you both OnScreen so much ๐Ÿ™Œ๐Ÿป All those people who said he can't quit the show coz he needs him coz his last show was Flop, here is the answer for you all! For some rare People, SelfRespect has more Value! . Read so many tweets today & agreed with few of them! Kisine sach hi kaha hai. "Ijjat kamane mein saalo lag jaate hai aur gawane mein bas kuch pal" . " Insaan ko apni galti samajne mein kabhi kabhi bohot derr ho jaati hai" . TrueThings . Wishing best for both of them โค๏ธ . Apparently rumours are that even Ali Asgar & Kapil's childhood friend Chandan are quitting the show! . What all is happening ๐Ÿ˜“๐Ÿ˜“ . Krishna & sudhesh may replace them ๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿป . We Fans loved you both ๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿป SunilGrover KapilSharma WasAwesomeDuo

Respect ๐Ÿ’ฏโค๏ธ Wish this never happened! We loved watching you both OnScreen so much ๐Ÿ™Œ๐Ÿป All those people who said he can't quit the show coz he...

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Ass, Baseball, and Be Like: I want a German Shepherd Husky @DrSmashlove Bruh I get DM from ladies all the time asking something like this: "smash I'm talking to a dude named Mike how can I tell if he likes me". Alright. Ladies. First things first. Let me clarify some shit. This is 2016 damn near 2017. In no event and under no circumstance should u be waiting on a dude to text u, wondering if he like u. If he make u feel like u the one...u just know that shit. If he don't, then the uncertainty is on him. With that said don't only talk to Mike. I'm not saying u gotta swipe 20 randoms on tinder and start texting all of them just because - I'm just saying keep your options open. "But smash I'm not a hoe, I'm not like that." Lol...whoa derr lil mama ๐Ÿ–. First imma need u to stop it with this word "hoe". That's a word invented by men with small PPs who don't want women to be sexually empowered. Second it don't make u a hoe if Mike text u every couple days and on that basis u also texting Ted and Jeff. It just mean u young and pretty and u got options. If u texting with Ted then u ain't waiting on Mike. Mike gonna feel that vibe that u ain't just waiting on his next move and HE gon hurry up and make a move, u feel me? Take the power away from Mike, he don't deserve all that power ("but smash I hate playing games argh dating sucks I'm just gonna live with cats ๐Ÿ˜–" - stop it with the cats before I show up at your door and fvck u back to your senses, I'll do it - I'll show up naked wearing only a Cubs baseball cap, timberlands, and white gym socks, holding a rose - your neighbors gon be like "who was dingaling man with the rose, having guests like that violates the condo association policy, even though the Board of Directors would like to note that your guest's PP was beautiful, shapely, and had good curvature" - focus here, woman, I'm tryina not get u evicted ๐Ÿ˜‚). Anyway in 2017 forget about whether a man who u like, likes u back. Keep it G. Keep it fun. Let Mike know u don't need his ass because nothing light a fire under a motherfvcker quicker than a girl who half-ignoring his childish ass. Part 2 to come in my next caption โค.
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Af, Bless Up, and Bruh: this cat has me mesmerized @DrSmashlove I see a lot of couples out here talmbout "let's have babies ๐Ÿ˜." With that said imma give u smash's guide to having chirren, listen close. Having only one child: sensible. Smart. Usually when this happen, the mother or father is French. "I will ave a Bebe and we will eat cwasson and ike in zee Swiss Alp." Easy. Three amigos. Baby turn 18 - u back to being a couple. Y'all can have sex again. U feel me? Having two chirren: also sensible. Any car can fit y'all. Y'all could have a boy and a girl. It's just a nice all-American presidential size situation. Three chirren: whoa derr. U took it a lil far. Y'all had two - and knew that shit was sensible, but nah. Y'all got trigger happy. "How hard could a third be?" Hard AF dumbass ๐Ÿ˜‚. Y'all go from one on one coverage to zone defense. Good luck with that. Four (or five) chirren: off the deep end. Y'all had three, SAW how hard that shit was, but said *DJ Khaled voice* ANOTHA ONE. Y'all lost control of the crib - now y'all just having a party - the whole house is a Cot damn party. People with four or five kids give very little fucks. The type where they house burn down and it's like "well at least we got each other ๐Ÿ˜." Statistically, at least one child gon change her name to "Earthwind", run away, and live in a hippie commune lol. If u last thru four or five kids congrats with y'all dumb asses y'all love each other. Six chirren: Catholic AF. I see y'all. For some reason six or more work out good. I got hella Irish homies who are investment bankers, consultants, private equity guys - they was raised on the south side of Chicago in a tiny two bedroom home in Bridgeport with eight siblings and ALL they asses came out smart well adjusted happy well educated and content. For some reason Irish women can pop out eight kids or even 11 kids and be totally normal. That's why Irish girls get so wet bruh they lubricate them babies flyin out โ˜บ๏ธ. Patty is good bruh she gon have a baby in her sleep, like a clown car full of Irish clowns ain't just come screaming out of her womb. U feel me? Six or more is like "I'm leaving my fate with the Lord now." So with that said, have either two, or have six or more. Bless up! ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚
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