πŸ”₯ Popular | Latest

Butt, Friday, and Girls: Good morning gorgeous Mornin ( So I'm writing this book I've been working on it for a while, but I'm just stuck and have been for ages It's called "girls l'll disappoint in my 20's." wanna be in a chapter? Today 10:59 AM Do I get my own chapter? Oh for sure, I've gotta go over everything I could've done differently to make sure thatl don't fuck it up next time 'round Sounds like a lot of work Nah, after disappointing so many times it comes naturally Something you're quite proud of lol What'll be the name of my chapter? Or is that something you name afterwards? Today 12:54 PM Megan all the wrong choices How's that Disappointing You're doing well I can only go up from here My plan is working perfectly Oh? I'm just imagining you sitting there rubbing your hands together like an evil villain lol Oh yeah that's exactly what is happening here. Got my master plan right on track Next step is to make an awful first date and me dress up. n shist is about as nice Nah we're gonna find a nice bridge, cra open a carton of eggs and have some hobo chili Lmfao That sounds interesting Do the eggs go in the chili or do I get to throw them? Nah we throw them at each other, and let our body heat cook them. Just like how they did in the old days SWEET After that we can go to the local fountain and swim for a bit before qetting dessert Today 4:24 PM Can we get beignets? Today 4:42 PM Fine but you're paying Gonna be the worst date ever Ok so long as you're cooking the hobo chili K but in gonna burn it Fair warning When is this date? And there are gonna be a few hairs in it Extra flavor Oh god When are you free? I've got a butt load of work till Friday afternoon : I'm free Friday That works for me Cool Here's my number T Hobo chili
Save
Save
Arguing, Bless Up, and Booty: gimme @Drsmashlove Ladies and gents lemme holla at y'all. It's a way to argue. It's a way to NOT argue. U could get into a argument and say things that can never, ever be taken back. Example: ladies if u dating a man who make a modest salary, be very careful about rubbing that in his face. Now hold up. What if he spending recklessly? Sit down and say "baby - we need to talk about calibrating the amount of spending we do in this house to the amount of money coming in." See how that goes? Constructive. Now u could also say "NEW JORDANS?! LOL WITH WHOSE PAYCHECK?! NOT YOUR LIL ASS PAYCHECK, OL BROKE BOY LOOKIN ASS." I wouldn't recommend that. Men - y'all got areas where u need to be careful too. She putting on a few pounds? U gotta be very delicate. "Aye baby I know you mentioned not having time to work out? U think we could hit the gym together? πŸ€”" Bam. U left the weight issue out. U hit it from a health angle. Good on u. What I would NOT recommend: "LOL ANOTHER CUPCAKE? YOU DON'T EVEN EXERCISE! BABY...YOUR THIGHS?" Bruh lemme just be crystal clear. U just said some shit that cannot be taken back. Ever. And that, ladies and gents, is where I'm tryina take y'all. It's some shit u can say that can't ever be taken back. The other person might forgive u, but forgiveness shouldn't be assumed. In fact the baseline reality of the human spirit is that it's weak, and so people fall into common traps of envy, hatred, and inability to forgive. Be very wary of the discourse degenerating irreparably. It is the basis upon which a lot of good relationships have fractured and never repaired. Your words are a weapon. Be judicious with them. (And men, no offense, if yo girl put on a few pounds and u talk to her like she Ms. Piggy she gon find me and imma lay this pipe the way it deserve to be laid. Imma make her feel like a cot damn rap video vixen like the type that frolick around Drake's pool touching their booties with other girl's booties, as if that's some shit women do at a regular pool party. Bottom line, don't make me smash your girl dog I will do it. Fair warning 😘. Bless up! πŸ˜πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚)
Save
Bitch, Come Over, and Creepy: It's BOYFRIEND. this is right? /hat's up, I'm at work Answer faster please 'cuz l need to talk to you about my GIRLFRIEND She okay? I'm going for a "smoke break. Everything okay with her She good your the one l have issue with. Dude stay away from her from now on she has a BOYFRIEND now and we are happy and we don't need ya ruining shit Hello?????? Can you answer back l want to tell you like a man what is going to happen caus l am not no pissy O Text Message (in e Apps or what is going to happen caus l am not no pissy wanna make sure u rnt going to be a problem in the future. haven't told her yet but she will be cool with it she knows my rules Yooooooo mofo l don like being ignored. Were gonna have problems Swear on Jesus Christ l'm going to throw fists your way if you don answer me and I'll now u a bigger pussy then pussy (YUMMMMMMMMMMMMMM) Hey I am going on my "smoke break" right now. Let me read what you wrote and I'll answer you just now Text Message in App Sto What The Fuck is wrong with you Seriously. It's 8am on a Monday and this is how you start your day. Alright. A couple things 1. Do not threaten me. What the fuck is wrong with you? 2. How on earth did you even get my number? I'm going to assume you went through her phone though. 3. Her and I are only friends. Have been for 15 years. Believe me there was not going to be an issue until you text me like some nut job. As her friend, I am going to show her what you sent me can fuk ya shit up motherfucker say when and were and I don care if u tell her went through her phone. She knows I'm a good man and she will forgive me. She knows l don Text Message Send can fuk ya shit up motherfucker say when and were and I don care if u tell her I went through her phone. She knows I'm a good man and she will forgive me. She knows l don like her talking to other guys. She knows and still disobeyed Stop threatening me. Keep it up and I'll either take you up on your offer to fight you (fair warning l practise BJJ) or call the cops on you I am going to tell her that you said she "disobeyed" you. That's going to go really well, I am sure of it. Your a fucking creep. am going to show her this convo not cause I don't like you, but because she is my FRIEND of over 15 years. If your going to show her this O Text Message Send am sure of it. Your a fucking creep. I am going to show her this convo not cause I don't like you, but because she is my FRIEND of over 15 years. If your going to show her this remind her I nice I have her the dick last night. She will quickly forget slap you and call me up I am done talking to you. Please loose my number. Between being what seems to be a controlling creep and writing like 12 year old don't know what dislike more. Probably the controlling part. Don't contact me anymore Don't be a bitch Wanna come over and play Xbox. got the new COD Send Text Message Friends Creepy BF Gone play COD
Save