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Apple, Beard, and Beautiful: 62,681 do all Americans have pet eagles? Yes I remember my first eagle ceremony when I turned nine. The first eagle you get is always declawed, which I always thought was pretty inhumane, but it was a good way to ease into caring for the birds. My eagle (named Baldy, because I wasnt a terribly clever child) was already quite old when I received him (he was a rescue eagle, luckily) but I did have him until I was 16. I don't know if I was more excited about getting my drivers license that year or my new eagle! You should have seen the party we had when I got him, too! Grilled hot dogs and fire works and lemonade... obviously I named my beautiful new eagle Freedom. He's too big to keep inside anymore, unfortunatey but we've got a pretty comfortable roost for him on our apartment's balcony Ah, yes, the eagle ceremony! My Justice and I remember his quite well. (They had just come out with telepathic link transplants when I got him, which is how I know he remembers it.) Our celebration was quite modest, compared to Freedom's-apple pie under a cloudless summer sky as we signed our Declaration of Interdependence. I still have the inked and talon-plerced document hanging on my wall. what is this Get out Canada I was so scared during my pet eagle ceremony I almost threw up. But Stonewall Jackson and I have been best friends ever since. My dad and grandfather built a really massive roost behind the house for my eagle and my sisters' eagles. Stonewall always waits for me when I get home from class since schools are getting so over protective and strict these days and won't allow eagles indoors. Which just goes to show how much we're bubble wrapping kids today. Back in the day, if you couldn't handle a few stitches because you pissed off the wrong kid's eagle you had to just man up and learn your lesson! Ooo, I never miss a chance to tell this story! I had a rather unusual first eagle ceremony. The traditional giant American flag that you wave around to summon your eagle had been severely damaged the week prior (a ceremony that had not gone according to plan, but the child only suffered minor talon wounds. The flag took the brunt of the attack). Anyway, I couldn't use the normal flag so we had to search ALL OVER for one suitable for eagle summoning. Unfortunately the stripes weren't the correct shade of patriotic red so everyone was worried an eagle wouldn't show up at all. I had to stand in the middle of that wheat field, the wind creating amber waves out of it, shaking that flag in the air for over three hours. Everyone was just about to give up when suddenly Patriot appeared out of nowhere! He came to me so quickly it was like he was apologizing for being late. And we've been together ever since. Some people think it's excessive to have two eagles. But what can I say, I'm a two eagles kind of guy. Well, I can say, "You must be a terrorist to call me out over my excesses," but I digress. We don't have many open fields around here, so I got Liberty by waving my flag atop a decommissioned WWll aircraft carrier. I was kicking a couple of boxes of tea into the harbor for good measure, and there she was. I loved her so much I repeated the process a year later and got young Colbert here. It's hard work, raising two eagles, but I have two shoulders, after all. Besides, I know that the secret to happy and healthy eagles is plenty of Bud Light. Oh man, the eagle ceremony. I was a weird fucking kid, okay, so l was totally sure that the eagle ceremony wasn't just going to net me my eagle and deepen the mystical bond between a citizen and their country, I thought I was going to get to turn into an eagle too. So me and my mom and my dad and my little brother are all standing in the old civil war battleground, surrounded by the ghosts of our fallen soldiers, and all and the problem here- it's not usually a problem because I make sure to shave my beard off twice a day, three times on sundays- was that I am, actually, born on the fourth of July. So it wasn't just one eagle that showed up, it was pretty much every big old patriotic warbird in Missouri, all flapping around confused and pissed off, their innate senses of direction completely fucked up by the way firecracker babies warp America's natural system of ley lines. And I was six, so grabbed the flag and ran with it over my shoulders, rippling in the wind, thinking it was going to turn into wings for me and I would go be an eagle with all the other eagles. Instead I just got mobbed by a freaked-out mess of nationalistic avians who all weighed more than I did. I lost half my nose and my whole left arm and spent most of fourth grade in reconstructive surgery getting machine guns welded on to the shattered remains of my ulna. Completely missed my little brother's eagle ceremony, which I wil always regret, but it was all worth it to have met Columbia. I never did turn into an eagle on the outside, but I like to think those long hours in the hospital, feeding her rubbing alcohol and my own blood, have made me an eagle in my heart. you should probably go to TheMetaPicture.com srsfunny: Do All Americans Really Have Pet Eagles?
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Church, Crime, and Family: ow I actually painted this, along with several other paintings, in the early seventies when I was a kid.I painted it for my twin brothers bedroom. They wanted a painting of a dandelion, so I did the best I could. I decided to paint a theme. You see, my favorite author was Edger Allen Poe, so I decided to paint faces of evil people, murders in the windows of the houses, (in yellow because their cowards). The True people with guts, are those that take the bullet or survive it, or touch their enemy with nothing. I never told my family about the hidden faces, I was saving it for later...I painted it after I was brutally attacked in front of my Jr. High School. In the dandelion stem on the left, I put a skull, to scare my little brothers...can you find it? The little wishes from the dandelion are floating around in the wind above the town. I always tried to put a church or steeple in my paintings, to honor God. I kept the church dark, since evil is not in there, and it's protected, as you can see... These paintings were also stolen out of our home in Maryland in the early seventies. Can you tell who the faces of Evil are? You will have to enlarge it and there are other things hidden... I painted this when I was a child, so maybe it takes a child to see certain things...3 One more thing, once, a long time ago, I met a FBl sketch artist who taught me how to sketch someone who attacked me, then, in the early seventies, when I was brutally attacked in front of my Jr. High school, I painted his face, in yellow in my painting. Sometimes a crime is so violent you can't talk about it, but, you can paint it. Write a comment... <p><a href="http://memehumor.net/post/167243546953/came-across-this-gem-today" class="tumblr_blog">memehumor</a>:</p> <blockquote><p>Came across this gem today.</p></blockquote>

memehumor: Came across this gem today.

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Cars, Friends, and Journey: It's not all smooth rides, beaches and sunshine. I get it. I remember a time when I was broke, didn't feel safe, didn't feel good enough at anything I did, got made fun of often, had no friends and was the dumbest kid in school. There have been times over the last few years I've struggled in other areas that are also challenging, scary, uncertain and leave me feeling like I'm still that same lost kid. But every day I give my best and try to BREATHE. Our breath and our thoughts are our closest companions. They've been with us from the beginning and with us more than anyone else. So I take time each day to give them attention, love and support. This allows me to not only feel better when I'm overwhelmed, but also have me make better actions which lead to different results in my life. It's all a process. At every new level we unlock we ultimately face new levels of figuring out how to handle our inner world of emotions. I try to remind myself to take it one day at a time while still chasing my big dreams that may take years to achieve. And if all else fails, get in a car with the window down, let your hair blow in the wind, and allow yourself to enjoy the journey. We are all in this together trying to figure it out, so have fun and make the most of the moments you have โœŒ๐Ÿผ PC by the man @nickonken

It's not all smooth rides, beaches and sunshine. I get it. I remember a time when I was broke, didn't feel safe, didn't feel good enough at ...

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