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Beautiful, Children, and Lawyer: shitroughdrafts: April 8, 2015 Dear Mr. Kerin, It was brought to my attention by your neighbor, John Flink, that you have two garden gnomes on your front lawn that that were not approved by the HOA before installation. Please adhere to the guidelines (see Appropriate Lawn Decor on page 3) and remove them within five business days, or you will be fined. Ellis Hills is a beautiful neighborhood, and we keep it that way by sticking to these rules! Thanks! Linda Hoyt, HOA President    April 9, 2015  Dear Mr. Kerin, Mr. Flink emailed me this afternoon and informed me that there are now five gnomes on your front lawn. He also said that they are all facing his house.  I don’t know three extra gnomes showed up (unless they’re breeding LOL), or why they are now facing his house. But please be advised that you are now in violation of our Allowed Quantities of Lawn Decor rule (see page 7). You have four days until you are fined. Please address this issue ASAP. Thanks! Linda Hoyt, HOA President   April 10, 2015 Dear Mr. Kerin, I drove by your house this morning on the way to drop my children off at school and saw your lawn. There are now over a dozen garden gnomes in your yard, all facing Mr. Flink’s house. A few of these have been placed in sexually suggestive positions. I do not think garden gnomes come in these positions, which means that someone (I’m not saying you) placed them as such. Regardless, they violate the board’s rule on Appropriate Lawn Décor Positions on page 9. Mr. Kerin, you have three days left to comply with the board’s rules, or you will be fined. Are you getting these emails? Thanks! Linda Hoyt, HOA President   April 11, 2015 Dear Mr. Kerin, I was emailed a picture of your lawn this morning by your neighbor John Flink, and was surprised to find that there are now close to thirty gnomes in your lawn. Not only are they all staring directly at his house, they are now also sexually explicit. After a quick Yahoo search, I could not find any store that sold such “X rated” gnomes. This gives me the impression that you made them yourself. Mr. Kerin, I don’t know where you’re getting the time or the money to create these monstrosities, but they will not be tolerated. We have children in this neighborhood. Please be advised that you have two days left before incurring fines. FYI you are now also in violation of our Sexually Explicit Lawn Décor rule on page 17. Until today, I was not aware this rule even existed. Thanks! Linda Hoyt, HOA President April 12, 2015 Dear Mr. Kerin, I was woken up by a phone call from John Flink at 6AM this morning. He was threatening to call the police. We have never had the police called in this neighborhood. Not even once. I calmed him down and went over to see what the problem was. Mr. Kerin, the only time I’ve ever seen an orgy was in the movie Caligula but the scene your gnomes depict on your front lawn makes Caligula look PG. The gnomes are in positions I haven’t ever even imagined, and even if I could have imagined them, I wouldn’t have done so with gnomes!  There are over one hundred of them. I could barely see any grass through the limbs and appendages of the disgusting little men. One gnome in particular is wearing a shirt that says “John Flink” on it and it is wearing a horse mask. Two other gnomes are treating him like a horse. This is in direct violation of an HOA rule that the HOA just decided to make. Please see Sexually Explicit Depictions of Neighbors as Lawn Decor in the new edition of the HOA guidelines attached as a PDF. You have until tomorrow, Mr. Kerin. Also, John Flink has called a lawyer. Thanks! Linda Hoyt, HOA President April 13, 2015 Dear Mr. Kerin, I don’t know how you did it, but thank you for removing all of the gnomes. I’m glad we could avoid getting the authorities involved! Since you managed to do it before five business days, there will be no fine, just a warning. As a reminder, please do not place any decorations in your yard without direct approval from the board. Thanks! Linda Hoyt, HOA President   April 14, 2015 Dear Mr. Kerin, It was just brought to my attention that there is a bright pink decorative flamingo in the middle of your front lawn. I have also been informed that this lawn flamingo is wearing a thong. If you do not remove this flamingo within five business days, expect a follow up from Kelly Lawson, as she is taking over as HOA President. As of today I have resigned. Thanks! Linda Hoyt
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God, Lawyer, and Oh My God: Tweet steve @NatsinNY.1d I'm a Texas-barred attorney and will represent these students pro bono should they choose to exercise their rights to free speech. I'm sure folks like @5thCircAppeals would join me Sarah McLaughlin@sarahemc Texas school district says it will suspend all students who take part in "any type of protest or awareness" in aftermath of the Parkland school shooting thehill.com/blogs/blog-bri... Needville ISD Superintendent Curtis Rhodes said in a letter that was sent to families and posted on social media that students would be suspended for three days if they took part in the protests happening in the wake of the deadly Florida high school shooting. The Houston Chronicle reported. In the statement, Rhodes said that Needville ISD is very sensitive to violence in schools. Please be advised that the Needville ISD will not allow a student demonstration during school hours for any type of protest or awareness!! Rhodes said. Should students choose to do so, they will be suspended from school for 3 days and face all the consequences that come along with an out of school suspension. TexanNix @WadeNix3 1d There's a reason that you are barred from Texas law. ...ever think about that? Take your ideals back to fairy land steve @NatsinNY 1d No, see "Texas-barred" means that l passed the Texas bar and am licensed to practice law in the state of Texas, so it's the opposite of what you said 81 2,928 bemusedlybespectacled: legally-tired: memehumor: Texas-barred lawyer I’m dYING oh my GOD

bemusedlybespectacled: legally-tired: memehumor: Texas-barred lawyer I’m dYING oh my GOD

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Future, Huh, and Love: 8/4/87 Still no money,huh? Well, let's see if Rudy and his wiffle bat cah help encourage you Ineffective tools of persuasion August 10, 1987 Universal Press Syndicate 4900 Main Street Kansas city, Missouri 64112 Re: Our Reference No. 1185/General Dear Sirs: we represent The Wiffle Ball, Inc. in trademark matters. It has come to our attention that the trademark WIFFLE was referred to in the comic strip "The Far Side" by Gary Larson. A copy of the comic strip is enclosed. In the comic strip you refer to a "...wiffle bat" and then show a man holding a bat with perforations. Please be advised that WIFFLE does not make a bat with perforations, and therefore the use of the brand name WIFFLE to a product that is not a product of The Wiffle Ball, Inc. is an inappropriate use of our client's valuable trademark WIFFLE. In the future, when you use the brand name WIFFLE, the entire brand should be capitalized, and it should only be used in reference to a product currently manufactured by The Wiffle Ball, Inc. Please forward a copy of this letter to Mr. Gary Larson. Thank you for your attention to this matter. very truly yours, Gene S. Winter GSW:led Enclosure cc: David A. Mullany <p><a href="http://gloomdraws.tumblr.com/post/165770477838/this-is-one-of-my-favorite-things-wiffle-had-to" class="tumblr_blog">gloomdraws</a>:</p> <blockquote><p>This is one of my favorite things.</p><p><br/></p><p>WIFFLE had to send this letter- they had to make an effort to protect their brand name, lest they lose a lot of rights to it.</p><p><br/></p><p>It’s my favorite type of metonymy. It’s why Xerox and Kleenex refer to copiers and tissues as a whole, and why servers at restaurants are <i>required </i>to ask, “is Pepsi okay?” when you ask for a Coke. Coke won that lawsuit, but only barely, to avoid becoming all but the generic name for soda pop.</p><p><br/></p><p>A more meticulous blog would have references and stories but this is a prime example and it’s ridiculous and I love it.</p></blockquote>

gloomdraws: This is one of my favorite things.WIFFLE had to send this letter- they had to make an effort to protect their brand name, lest ...

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Community, Family, and Friends: Poetry SHORT STORIES <p><a href="http://myrelationshipwithlove.tumblr.com/post/164083181680/attention-attention-attention-attention-attenti" class="tumblr_blog">myrelationshipwithlove</a>:</p><blockquote> <h2><b>Attention! <b>Attention! <b>Attention! <b>Attention! <b>Attention! </b></b></b></b></b></h2> <p>We are looking for <b>Poets</b> and <b>Short Story Writers! NOW IS THE TIME TO ACT. </b> If you want to be a part of our community, our family and you would like to have your work published on our website please submit your work to <b><a href="mailto:myrelationshipwithlove@gmail.com">myrelationshipwithlove@gmail.com</a></b></p> <h2>Take a look at our Poems/Short Story section. <b><a href="http://theherojournal.me/category/poems">http://theherojournal.me/category/poems</a>       </b>your works can be published here as well!</h2> <p>What should you include? Your poem(s) or short story, a picture (if you if you wish). And please advise if you would like to remain anonymous or share your author name.</p> <p><br/></p> <p><br/></p> <p>Please be advised that all submissions will be carefully reviewed. We will not accept any submissions that we find offensive or inappropriate. We reserve the right to decline any submission.</p> <p>We can’t wait to hear from you! </p> <h2><b>ALSO PS. REBLOG THIS AND SHARE WITH ANY OF YOUR FRIENDS WHO YOU THINK MIGHT BE INTERESTED IN JOINING A GREAT WRITING FAMILY!</b></h2> </blockquote>

myrelationshipwithlove: Attention! Attention! Attention! Attention! Attention! We are looking for Poets and Short Story Writers! NOW IS THE...

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Donald Trump, Lgbt, and New York: WS ate 2 home behind pzza inves NO TIES TO ESTST SSIA. RESIST RE RESIST RE VE MF RESIESIST RES ST RESIS RESIST RESIST RESIST RESISI RESIST The only reason TRANSGENDERS are being B ANNED from the military is BIGSTRY GAY VET rth. MARINES NO TIES TO RUSSIA BELIEVE ME. HOP RE EAM e remain trappec s to br PARADIS SIST )RESIST ESTA KEY RESIST RESIST RESIST RES WE OBJECT NO SHOP I RESIST ERESIST RESISTHE TRUM PENCEREG RESIST RE RESI MUST RefuseFiscis RESIST RES WE OBJECT RES RF 匠Lambda Legal VE OBJ mbd ioda Legal t 左 WE OBJ mbda egal RESIST iT Lambda L yahoonewsphotos: Protesting Trump’s military transgender ban Hundreds of demonstrators gathered Wednesday in New York City, Washington D.C. and San Francisco to protest of President Donald Trump’s ban on transgender service members in the military. The protests came just hours after Trump announced the ban on Twitter. “After consultation with my Generals and military experts, please be advised that the United States Government will not accept or allow transgender individuals to serve in any capacity in the U.S. military,” tweeted the president, who said on the campaign trail that he supported the rights of LGBTQ Americans. “Our military must be focused on decisive and overwhelming victory and cannot be burdened with the tremendous medical costs and disruption that transgender in the military would entail. Thank you.” The president did not specify what the ban would mean for currently serving transgender soldiers. (GMA) See more photos of Trump transgender ban protests and our other slideshows on Yahoo News.

yahoonewsphotos: Protesting Trump’s military transgender ban Hundreds of demonstrators gathered Wednesday in New York City, Washington D.C. ...

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Beautiful, Children, and Lawyer: shitroughdrafts: April 8, 2015 Dear Mr. Kerin, It was brought to my attention by your neighbor, John Flink, that you have two garden gnomes on your front lawn that that were not approved by the HOA before installation. Please adhere to the guidelines (see Appropriate Lawn Decor on page 3) and remove them within five business days, or you will be fined. Ellis Hills is a beautiful neighborhood, and we keep it that way by sticking to these rules! Thanks! Linda Hoyt, HOA President    April 9, 2015  Dear Mr. Kerin, Mr. Flink emailed me this afternoon and informed me that there are now five gnomes on your front lawn. He also said that they are all facing his house.  I don’t know three extra gnomes showed up (unless they’re breeding LOL), or why they are now facing his house. But please be advised that you are now in violation of our Allowed Quantities of Lawn Decor rule (see page 7). You have four days until you are fined. Please address this issue ASAP. Thanks! Linda Hoyt, HOA President   April 10, 2015 Dear Mr. Kerin, I drove by your house this morning on the way to drop my children off at school and saw your lawn. There are now over a dozen garden gnomes in your yard, all facing Mr. Flink’s house. A few of these have been placed in sexually suggestive positions. I do not think garden gnomes come in these positions, which means that someone (I’m not saying you) placed them as such. Regardless, they violate the board’s rule on Appropriate Lawn Décor Positions on page 9. Mr. Kerin, you have three days left to comply with the board’s rules, or you will be fined. Are you getting these emails? Thanks! Linda Hoyt, HOA President   April 11, 2015 Dear Mr. Kerin, I was emailed a picture of your lawn this morning by your neighbor John Flink, and was surprised to find that there are now close to thirty gnomes in your lawn. Not only are they all staring directly at his house, they are now also sexually explicit. After a quick Yahoo search, I could not find any store that sold such “X rated” gnomes. This gives me the impression that you made them yourself. Mr. Kerin, I don’t know where you’re getting the time or the money to create these monstrosities, but they will not be tolerated. We have children in this neighborhood. Please be advised that you have two days left before incurring fines. FYI you are now also in violation of our Sexually Explicit Lawn Décor rule on page 17. Until today, I was not aware this rule even existed. Thanks! Linda Hoyt, HOA President April 12, 2015 Dear Mr. Kerin, I was woken up by a phone call from John Flink at 6AM this morning. He was threatening to call the police. We have never had the police called in this neighborhood. Not even once. I calmed him down and went over to see what the problem was. Mr. Kerin, the only time I’ve ever seen an orgy was in the movie Caligula but the scene your gnomes depict on your front lawn makes Caligula look PG. The gnomes are in positions I haven’t ever even imagined, and even if I could have imagined them, I wouldn’t have done so with gnomes!  There are over one hundred of them. I could barely see any grass through the limbs and appendages of the disgusting little men. One gnome in particular is wearing a shirt that says “John Flink” on it and it is wearing a horse mask. Two other gnomes are treating him like a horse. This is in direct violation of an HOA rule that the HOA just decided to make. Please see Sexually Explicit Depictions of Neighbors as Lawn Decor in the new edition of the HOA guidelines attached as a PDF. You have until tomorrow, Mr. Kerin. Also, John Flink has called a lawyer. Thanks! Linda Hoyt, HOA President April 13, 2015 Dear Mr. Kerin, I don’t know how you did it, but thank you for removing all of the gnomes. I’m glad we could avoid getting the authorities involved! Since you managed to do it before five business days, there will be no fine, just a warning. As a reminder, please do not place any decorations in your yard without direct approval from the board. Thanks! Linda Hoyt, HOA President   April 14, 2015 Dear Mr. Kerin, It was just brought to my attention that there is a bright pink decorative flamingo in the middle of your front lawn. I have also been informed that this lawn flamingo is wearing a thong. If you do not remove this flamingo within five business days, expect a follow up from Kelly Lawson, as she is taking over as HOA President. As of today I have resigned. Thanks! Linda Hoyt
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