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Advice, America, and Bless Up: The moment you tell her to 'go get it! Say bruh have u ever craved flaming hot Cheetos covered in nacho cheese and jalapeños with a sundae next to it that has mangoes, ice cream, sprinkles, a banana and a whole bunch of other sweet delicious things that don’t necessarily go together? “Smash is u pregnant? U suppose to be a man? Where these cravings come from?” I am a man and I am not pregnant cot damn it is called leg day at the gym and my quads jello RN and this place is real asf it is called La Michoacana 🍦😍. You do not have to be carrying a baby to enjoy this heavenly place, but if you are, it probably make it that much better 🤰🏻. You can find these joints everywhere. There are a bunch in Chicago and they are splendid. “wow smash you really gon stunt on us like that, I live in Bombacrab Missouri, we don’t have anything that spicy here.” BISH YES U DO, LOOK 👏 FOR 👏 THE 👏 MEXICANS 👏😂. I been telling y’all they got treasures for days u just gotta be exploratory. Perhaps a Mangonada? Lil mango wif chamoy sauce, mangos, lime juice, chili powder? “HOT SPICES ON FRUIT SMASH U EITHER WILDING OR U REALLY MEXICAN.” well I am not Mexican so that mean I am wilding, yes, AND? 😂 just put in ya mouth. personally I eat a$$ so I’ll try anything once ... my palette very experimental 🥳. The worst that can happen is that you love it and then you start making mangonada for yourself and then put on your tinder profile that you make a mean mangonada and you get swiped by a young investment banker named Julio who grew up around Mexico city and then got a degree in engineering and moved to America to kill it in banking and now you getting married and taking trips first class on his frequent flyer miles and your friend Megan is like “damn my boyfriend Jim is still sleeping on my couch, playing fork knife on my TV and stealing money out of my purse how did you get to be balling like this?” And you can say I took smash’s advice and started making spicy mango drinks and now I’m pregnant with my third mixed baby and we going to Paris next month. Boom! Bless up 😍😂
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Energy, Memes, and Money: When you are on your way to vote and your friend shows you that officials are selected not elected @truth society If voting could truly change the world it would be illegal. - Even if your vote does count, you are given the choice between two candidates who are heavily funded by corporations and individuals with specific agendas. The politicians are further bought with lobbying. - “You can’t take a congressman to lunch for $25 and buy him a steak. But you can take him to a fundraising lunch and not only buy him that steak, but give him $25,000 extra and call it a fundraiser.” – Former lobbyist Jack Abramoff - The people who really run the show, the puppet masters, derive their power from the private banking system. - “Give me control of a nation's money and I care not who makes it's laws" — Mayer Amschel Rothschild - Real change starts with YOU. Voting with your actions to support local, sustainable, and healthy businesses and ideas. Being the change you wish to see in the world. That is where the real revolution is happening. - “The secret of change is to focus all of your energy, not on fighting the old, but on building the new.” -Socrates - To change the current reality you don’t work within its rules but instead make the existing system obsolete by creating something better. - “Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.” -Einstein - “Presidents are selected not elected.” -President Roosevelt
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Ass, Bad, and Bitch: HOW DOMINO'S PIZZA TRACKER SAVED A LIFE This is a story of why dating bipolar girls is not a good idea and how the Domino's Pizza tracker saved my life I have always been on the fence when it comes to Pizza Hut Vs. Dominos. I don't eat enough pizza from either to really have a concrete answer of which one makes a better pie. I can tell you one solid truth... As my last relationship ended and the lies, scandals and deceptions came out, after all was said and done, my psycho ex girlfriend did teach me one VERY important thing ALWAYS choose Domino's over pizza hut. I had been having trouble with my now Ex-girlfriend for quite awhile, I won't go into details, but let's just say she went crazy. I thought, simple: I'Il just break it off Wrong One Friday night, around 8:00pm, after a long week of work and incessant phone calls/psychotic voicemails from the unbalanced EX, I decided I was going to stay in, which one any weekend night is abnormal for me. Usually on weekend nights that I am in, I usually am cool with a movie, a 6 pack and a pizza. I had been ordering from Pizza Hut the last few times, but after a constant bombardment with Domino's WEVE CHANGED OUR SHIT,I SWEAR WE RE AWESOME NOW ad campaign, I decided to give it a shot Around 8pm, I went online to order my pizza I built a modest 2 topping medium pizza, and placed my order. You have to love how far we have come in the delivery pizza world Immediately afterwards, I was introduced to the piece of a software that would save my neck The Pizza Tracker Pizza tracker? Fuck yeah, the pizza tracker. If you don't know what the pizza tracker is, then get your ass online right now and order a pizza from Domino's It's the equivalent of a loading bar on a web browser, except at the end of the loading you get a delicious pizza ORDER MENU COUPONS LOCATIONS TRACKER ESPANO This is where the night got interesting. I am on my couch, one eye on "Parks and Rec the other on the pizza tracker displayed on my lap top that joined me on the couch. We had just entered stage 2. Prep. KNOCKI KNOCKI KNOCK For a split second I thought, "woh that was fast, Iput my order in 10 minutes ago and pizza tracker says it's still in stage 2 By the end of my thought, the door swung open Guess who Yep, it was my psychotic EX. Knife in hand, she starts threatening to do some pretty awful things. I try to stand up, she freaks. I stay on the couch and attempt to calm her down. She goes into a hysterical rant about us getting back together, ya right, and I glance at the pizza tracker Stage 3. Bake (Juan is putting your order in the oven) She goes on while all I can think is GO JUAN GO!!!GET THAT SHIT IN THE OVEN l try to calm her down, I stand up and she freaks out and tells me "SIT THE FUCK DOWN!! She continues on her violet outburst and I tell her we can work things out hoping to get her to calm down. It's no use. I decide I need to try and get to my phone. l inconspicuously try to look for my cell phone. Dammit! I left it my room. I am screwed. I am dead. The pizza man will get blamed for this! Oh, the poor pizza boy will be wrongfully blamed and get life in prison for what this unstable bitch is going to do to me STAGE 41 BOX FUCK YEAH! They are boxing up my pizza. Get your ass over here She continues on for another 5 minutes. Trying to make eye contact, glancing at the pizza tracker every second she looks away Stage 51 DELIVERY Alejandro is delivering your pizza GOD SPEED ALEJENDROIII MY LIFE AND YOUR FREEDOM RELY ON THIS Knowing that the Alejandro is on the way, I try and just keep her talking, but the more she talks the more enraged she gets. I try to interupt, but that just makes things worse It's been 10 minutes, Alejandro should be here any time She continues, she is yelling at the top of her lungs about the things we could have been. I am still banking that Alejandro will be here any second and save the day 10 more minutes go by Alejandro GET YOUR ASS IN GEAR SHE IS OFFICIALLY FREAKING THE FUCK OUT. She puts the knife up to her wrist and then takes it away. I am panicking. Where the fuck is Alejandro! Pizza tracker tells me we're still in stage 5. FUCK YOU PIZZA TRACKER, YOUVE BEEN IN STAGE 5 FOR 25 MINUTES!!!! I will never order from Domino's again!!! After this thought I immediately think to myself, I will be dead, so I will probably never order another pizza again. Right then, the cops come in. At gunpoint they calm her down and obtain the knife. Alejandro had shown up to the door wide open and saw psycho with the knife and went back to his 98 Honda Accord and called the cops. Domino's pizza literally saved my life. They should change the name from the pizza tracker to the savior tracker Alejandro is the true definition of a hero. In a way, Alejandro is the 5th ninja turtle. He showed up, accessed the situation, didnt panic, and saved my ass from the bad guys. Oh yeah, and he brought a fucking excellent pizza too. THIS IS THE MOST AWESOME THING I HAVE EVER READ POWER TO THE PIZZA MA THEMETAPICTURECOM srsfunny: Very Well Done Domino’s Pizza Tracker
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Ass, Bad, and Bitch: HOW DOMINO'S PIZZA TRACKER SAVED A LIFE This is a story of why dating bipolar girls is not a good idea and how the Domino's Pizza tracker saved my life I have always been on the fence when it comes to Pizza Hut Vs. Dominos. I don't eat enough pizza from either to really have a concrete answer of which one makes a better pie. I can tell you one solid truth... As my last relationship ended and the lies, scandals and deceptions came out, after all was said and done, my psycho ex girlfriend did teach me one VERY important thing ALWAYS choose Domino's over pizza hut. I had been having trouble with my now Ex-girlfriend for quite awhile, I won't go into details, but let's just say she went crazy. I thought, simple: I'Il just break it off Wrong One Friday night, around 8:00pm, after a long week of work and incessant phone calls/psychotic voicemails from the unbalanced EX, I decided I was going to stay in, which one any weekend night is abnormal for me. Usually on weekend nights that I am in, I usually am cool with a movie, a 6 pack and a pizza. I had been ordering from Pizza Hut the last few times, but after a constant bombardment with Domino's WEVE CHANGED OUR SHIT,I SWEAR WE RE AWESOME NOW ad campaign, I decided to give it a shot Around 8pm, I went online to order my pizza I built a modest 2 topping medium pizza, and placed my order. You have to love how far we have come in the delivery pizza world Immediately afterwards, I was introduced to the piece of a software that would save my neck The Pizza Tracker Pizza tracker? Fuck yeah, the pizza tracker. If you don't know what the pizza tracker is, then get your ass online right now and order a pizza from Domino's It's the equivalent of a loading bar on a web browser, except at the end of the loading you get a delicious pizza ORDER MENU COUPONS LOCATIONS TRACKER ESPANO This is where the night got interesting. I am on my couch, one eye on "Parks and Rec the other on the pizza tracker displayed on my lap top that joined me on the couch. We had just entered stage 2. Prep. KNOCKI KNOCKI KNOCK For a split second I thought, "woh that was fast, Iput my order in 10 minutes ago and pizza tracker says it's still in stage 2 By the end of my thought, the door swung open Guess who Yep, it was my psychotic EX. Knife in hand, she starts threatening to do some pretty awful things. I try to stand up, she freaks. I stay on the couch and attempt to calm her down. She goes into a hysterical rant about us getting back together, ya right, and I glance at the pizza tracker Stage 3. Bake (Juan is putting your order in the oven) She goes on while all I can think is GO JUAN GO!!!GET THAT SHIT IN THE OVEN l try to calm her down, I stand up and she freaks out and tells me "SIT THE FUCK DOWN!! She continues on her violet outburst and I tell her we can work things out hoping to get her to calm down. It's no use. I decide I need to try and get to my phone. l inconspicuously try to look for my cell phone. Dammit! I left it my room. I am screwed. I am dead. The pizza man will get blamed for this! Oh, the poor pizza boy will be wrongfully blamed and get life in prison for what this unstable bitch is going to do to me STAGE 41 BOX FUCK YEAH! They are boxing up my pizza. Get your ass over here She continues on for another 5 minutes. Trying to make eye contact, glancing at the pizza tracker every second she looks away Stage 51 DELIVERY Alejandro is delivering your pizza GOD SPEED ALEJENDROIII MY LIFE AND YOUR FREEDOM RELY ON THIS Knowing that the Alejandro is on the way, I try and just keep her talking, but the more she talks the more enraged she gets. I try to interupt, but that just makes things worse It's been 10 minutes, Alejandro should be here any time She continues, she is yelling at the top of her lungs about the things we could have been. I am still banking that Alejandro will be here any second and save the day 10 more minutes go by Alejandro GET YOUR ASS IN GEAR SHE IS OFFICIALLY FREAKING THE FUCK OUT. She puts the knife up to her wrist and then takes it away. I am panicking. Where the fuck is Alejandro! Pizza tracker tells me we're still in stage 5. FUCK YOU PIZZA TRACKER, YOUVE BEEN IN STAGE 5 FOR 25 MINUTES!!!! I will never order from Domino's again!!! After this thought I immediately think to myself, I will be dead, so I will probably never order another pizza again. Right then, the cops come in. At gunpoint they calm her down and obtain the knife. Alejandro had shown up to the door wide open and saw psycho with the knife and went back to his 98 Honda Accord and called the cops. Domino's pizza literally saved my life. They should change the name from the pizza tracker to the savior tracker Alejandro is the true definition of a hero. In a way, Alejandro is the 5th ninja turtle. He showed up, accessed the situation, didnt panic, and saved my ass from the bad guys. Oh yeah, and he brought a fucking excellent pizza too. THIS IS THE MOST AWESOME THING I HAVE EVER READ POWER TO THE PIZZA MA THEMETAPICTURECOM srsfunny:Very Well Done Domino’s Pizza Tracker
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