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Ass, Chelsea, and Donkey: malfunctioningtypewrite9 55:41:14.24 THINGS THAT HAVE HAPPENED ON THIS STREAM 1. THE FIRST $500 WAS EARNED BEFORE THE TREAM EVEN STARTED. 2. HBOMBERGUY WAS PLANNING ON MAYBE GETTING $3,000 3. CHELSEA FUCKING MANNING NOT ONLY SHOWED UP BUT JUST HUNG OUT ON THE CHAT FOR HOURS 3.5. THE FIRST THING HBOMBERGUY SAID TO CHELSEA FUCKING MANNING WAS "DO YOU KNOW HOW TO GET PAST BEAVER BOTHERS?" .5.5. SHE DIDN'T. HE WAS STUCK ON THAT MINIGAME FOR AN HOUR AND HAD TO CALL IN PROFESSIONAL SPEEDGAMERS TO HELP. 4. $25,000 WAS RAISED TO ERASE JK ROWLING 5. GRANT KIRKHOPE (THE PERSON BEHIND ALL THE MUSIC AND SOUND FOR DONKEY KONG 64) SHOWED UP AND SAID 'TRANS RIGHTS' IN DK'S VOICE 6. JOHN ROMERO (CREATOR OF DOOM) WED UP AND SAID TRANS RIGHTS 7. JOSH SAWYER (PERSON BEHIND FALLOUT: NEW VEGAS) SHOWED UP AND SAID TRANS RIGHTS 8. ALEXANDRIA OCASIO-CORTEZ SHOWED UP AND SAID TRANS RIGHTS 9. DR CHUCK TINGLE ACTUALLY, HONESTLY SHOWED UP AND SAID TRANS RIGHTS, AND PUSHED THE DONATIONS TO $300K THE ENTIRE STREAM HAS VERY HEAVILY FEATURED TRANS CREATORS, ACTIVISTS, AND COOL ASS PEOPLE SHOWING UP AND TALKING AND SHARING AND DOING AWESOME STUFF TO SUPPORT TRANS KIDS 11. THE ENTIRE DONATION IS GOING TO MERMAIDS, A SUPPORT AND EDUCATIONAL GROUP TO HELP SUPPORT TRANS KIDS AND FAMILIES, AND THE SUPPORT HAS BEEN AMAZING AND PHENOMENAL AND I'VE CRIED AT LEAST 3 TIMES 12. TEETH GANG EDIT 13. OH RIGHT THE STREAM HAS ALSO BEEN GOING ON FOR OVER 50 HOURS, HE'S SLEPT TWICE AND LEFT THE STREAM ON AND BOTH TIMES HE GAINED LIKE $10K WHILE THE SKELETON CREW TALKED OVER A SKELETON WEARING HEADPHONES alfunctioningtypewrite9 14. WE GOT THE DONATIONS UP TO PI WHILE NB GENDER THERAPIST BEN RECITES PI AND TALKS ABOUT MENTAL HEALTH FOR TRANS PEOPLE. 15. FUCK YOU GRAHAM halfunctioningtypewrite9 16, HE FUCKING DID IT. 101% ON DK64 AND $333K AND WE HAVE YET TO SEE HIM EAT A CARTON OF RAW SOY. UGLY CRY GANG YA'LL, WE CAN CHANGE THE WORLD. chuck tingle showed up?
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Donkey, Taken, and Photo: This is Lil Sebastian. He is a donkey. And he unfortunately passed away from a cliff accident 20 seconds after this photo was taken.

This is Lil Sebastian. He is a donkey. And he unfortunately passed away from a cliff accident 20 seconds after this photo was taken.

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Advice, Ass, and Bad: the biggest lie, i think, the intemet perpetuates about D&D is that a skinny ittle twink of a bard just needs to roll a nat 20 to seduce a dragon ike a dragon...a creature with more wealth and power than any other creature on the planet..a creature who is easily an 11/10 when they deign to take humanoid formwould look at your skinny little 8 STR half-elf Bard whose own father doesn't even love them and go...yeah I'd like to fuck that Counterpoint, my good man: Bragonsuck Dragons fuck, clearly, but not just any joe blow schmoe with a big Charisma stat. If I'm Joseph J Dragon sitting on a small hill of gold and jewels I'm not gonna waste my time boning every monsterfucking tiefling twink with a lyre. I would have standards. dragons are SUPER horny counterpoint: even if dragons are SUPER horny they've got better prospects than spindly little bards!lll They could be off fucking cloud giants or beholders or planetars!!ll They could be having sex with kraken in the middle of the ocean or fire giants in the mouth of an erupting There is a wealth of sexual excess and opportunity available to dragons, so much that they do not need to be slumming it with an adventurer who hasn't washed his ass in a month and a half and is probably covered in kobold blood by the time they get to the dragon's lairl I don't care how many times you cast Charm Monster, the Elder Dragon who has probably slept with more princesses than there are princedoms is not going to bitel When you have bedded the most beautiful mortals on the Prime Material Plane on a pile of gold and jewelry you are not gonna be looking twice at any MOTHERFUCKEr who can't at least True Polymorph to make things interesting you're right but please shut up you are actively ruining my 10 strength half-elf twink bard's sexual prospects with this post OP is right and they should say it Dragon Bf Giont Gnol Gobin Haiting Koboid Spite As we can see from this most excellent chart, dragons can and will fuck anything. Even humans do not compare. The only species that can match dragons for homy-ness is, in fact, nymphs. Therefore your twinky-ass lil bard has as good a chance as anyone. Go forth and thot your way through your DM's carefully planned Big Bad encounter and fuck the dragon. I'm not even sure where I stand on this argument but I absolutely need to keep that chart for reference, so That chart is not proof that a dragon would fuck anything and youre a charlatan for pretending it does!!! That is a crossbreeding chart not a horny chart, and it says right on it that what it is tracking is the likelyhood that a union between two races would yield offspring. It is NOT saying that a dragon WILL fuck any of those creatures, just that doing so would result in a half-dragon child If anything this just proves siderealsandman's point the dragon could have any creature or being under the sun so why the fuck would it ever settle for a shitty PC and their+1 light leather amor. What's the bard gonna say?? You should fuck me because you techically can?? That bitch getting sauteed OP IS CORRECT SORRY BUT THE TWINK BARD ISNT GETTING ANY DRAGON ASS a dragon fucked a donkey in shrek, your argument is invalid Don't bring shrek into this OH YEAH?? YOU WANNA DO THIS?? FINE CLASS TRAITS OF A BARD 1) Your spells inspire and invigorate your allies-Donkey's role in the film was to inspire and invigorate Shrek to begin his hero's quest and keep him on his path 2) You channel magical power through words and music Doney never stopped talking or singing. That was his THING 3) Key abilities: Charisma, Intelligence, Constitution- Do we even need to question this?? Charisma - he managed to convince a dragon to fuck him He gave both Fiona and Shrek the pep-talk they needed to come to terms with their feelings. Intelligence-He's COLOR BLIND and stl managed to figure out the flowers Fiona asked for. Constitution-dude you saw the shit he managed to survive in that movie CONCLUSION-SHREK IS A DND CAMPAIGN, DONKEY IS A BARD THAT SEDUCED THE DRAGON. NEVER QUESTION ME IN MY HOUSE AGAIN advice-animal: How to Fuck your Dragon
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