🔥 Popular | Latest

Chicago, College, and Dank: Got denied from harvard s March 2015 2.8 HARVARD COLLEGK Office of Admissions and Financial Aid Molly McGaan 330 W. Webster Ave Chicago, Il 60614 Dear Ms. McGaan: Thank you for your interest in Harvard College. After careful consideration of your application, I am sorry to inform you that we are unable to offer you a place in the class of 2019. This year's application pool was the strongest in the College's history, and we are unable to offer admission to every student, regardless of their proficiency in "dank memes", or their level of "Swagg moneyyyy." Although your GPA and ACT scores were certainly up to our standards, your essays raised some eyebrows at the admissions meetings. For future reference, it is not wise to start an essay with the words, "listen here u little slanks" and end with "McGaan out "drops mic We also didn't need a copy of your mixtape, regardless of how ire" it is (one admissions counselor actually listened to it, and we are pretty sure 40 minutes of you making animal noises is not fire"). In addition, we will be returning your copy of Grownups 2 signed by Chancellor Angela Merkel, because you said it's your "greatest possession" and we don't want it. We also suggest obtaining recommendation letters from teachers or trusted mentors, not "my #4 side ho Derek" or Chief Kee, who submitted a picture of a dinosaur drawn in crayon on a rolling paper. We greatly appreciate your interest in Harvard, and we offer our best wishes of success as you pursue your educational goals
Save
Apple, Bless Up, and Drake: Three weeks ago she was at the pound - now she's transformed to Action Pup.! So u know how u get in the car and Apple Music just wil out and play whatever well on the way to the gym this mernin I hop in the whip on this cold a$$ 12 degree day and my speakers start blasting Miguel, Banana Clip. FAM! I don’t even remember downloading this album! But this joint HARD! 😂 I felt like Miguel lil 5 foot a$$ was next to me serenading me, singing in the passenger seat egging me on go hard at the gym! I was Iike wow this adorable lil munchkin go hard! And then it dawned on me 🤔...5 footers really be going the hardest! 🐛 Kevin Hart - 5 foot. Tom cruise - 5 foot. Shiggy the comedian who invented the drake Kiki dance (DRAaAaAaAake! 😂) - 5 foot. They out there ... ENTERTAINING. Ladies don’t shleep. I know most of u pretty tings got a 6-4 cutoff and I don’t blame y’all! But maybe what u need is a 5 footer who really gon do the most! Serenade u in the shower! Make u laugh! “Smash I’m not tryina hear that, my son in fifth grade already taller than that I can’t bring a man into my house who reach to my son’s chest” BB 👏 GIRL 👏 DO 👏 WHAT 👏 U 👏 FEEL 👏. And by the way, for all you men who only swipe right on short women may I ask you to consider finding yourself a tall drink of water in 2019. I used to talk to a volleyball player who was 6-1 and let me tell you fam she was a sight to behold. Legs so long you could slide down them h0es like a fire pole. Cheeks like beach balls. She was a whole lotta woman! A foot long sub for the price of a six inch famalam! I am telling you, you might not think it’s your thing but u might hecc around and fall in love. “But smash, I’m 5-11 which is really a lie I’m actually 5-7 and three quarter but I say I’m 5-11 - if she 6-1 then in heels she finna be 6-4 fam I’m gon look like her handsome middle school son.” Well bish embrace that! Find you a Mama! Maybe your mama was wiling out when you were growing up and u need a woman to HECC around and spank u. Maybe eem spike you! 🏐 Maybe that’s what you been missing all your life. “smash you really Wilding today.” INDEEDY! Smash simply raising this hypothesis for ya consideration lmao BLESS UP 😍😂😂 (Slide 2: @tatertot_thecorgi_)
Save
Community, Friends, and Target: JDstarblaster We've gotten over 1,000 signatures in 3 days, which goes to show how much @MaxFunHQ fans care about accessibility. What I hope to do now is highlight some of the comments on the petition, which are meaningful and speak power to the importance of accessibility JD ● @lDstarblaster If you want @MaxFunHQ to be accessible to those with disabilities, please sign this petition! Let @JesseThorn know that MaxFun fans care about accessibility: thepetitionsite.com/833/380/628/s... 3:18 PM-24 Nov 2018 1 Retweet 1 Like JD @JDstarblaster 15m I want to make it clear, to @JesseThorn and the folks at @MaxFunHQ that this petition was never meant as an attack. The signatures have come almost entirely from FANS, often ones who donate, and frequently ones who are disabled. JD @JDstarblaster So many folks from all over the world are engaging on this topic, and I hope that's meaningful to @MaxFunHQ. I want to amplify the voices of the community, especially the disabled members of the community, to show how important this issue really is 3:18 PM-24 Nov 2018 JD ● @JDstarblaster· 12m @lesseThorn @MaxFun HQ "I have audio processing issues and transcripts of о, dcasts are really valuable to me! I would probably listen to more shows on MaxFun or consider becoming a member if the content was more accessible to people like me. Thank you for your consideration." JD@JDstarblaster 12m While I am not hearing impaired, neurodivergent, etc., IAM a monthly donor to the MaxFun network, and I would consider making these shows more accesible a worthwhile use of my donations." JD@JDstarblaster 12m ou"I'm hard of hearing, and I rely on transcripts of my favorite podcasts to help me make sure I don't miss anything. Accessibility shouldn't have to be solely in the hands of disabled people JD@JDstarblaster 12m have auditory processing problems and reading the transcript while listening to the podcast will avoid me missing any information." JD@JDstarblaster 12m was thinking of maybe becoming a monthly donor of Max Fun this year, but now I'm certainly not. Not being fully aware of an accessibility issue is one thing having it brought to your attention and deciding you'd rather actively deny disabled people..." JD@JDstarblaster 12m (cont) "access to your content is a whole 'nother. I'm very lucky that despite having hearing issues, they generally don't inhibit me from being able to enjoy podcasts and like media, but there are plenty of people who just don't have the option of enjoying podcasts... JD@JDstarblaster 12m cont) "in the conventional way. I want to be able to support my favourite content creators, but I can't do that if they don't support me and my friends in this extremely basic way." keplercryptids: Image description: a series of tweets by @.JDstarblaster (me!) that say: We’ve gotten over 1,000 signatures in 3 days, which goes to show how much @.MaxFunHQ fans care about accessibility. What I hope to do now is highlight some of the comments on the petition, which are meaningful and speak power to the importance of accessibility. I want to make it clear, to @.JesseThorn and the folks at @.MaxFunHQ that this petition was never meant as an attack. The signatures have come almost entirely from FANS, often ones who donate, and frequently ones who are disabled. So many folks from all over the world are engaging on this topic, and I hope that’s meaningful to @.MaxFunHQ. I want to amplify the voices of the community, especially the disabled members of the community, to show how important this issue really is. (the rest of the tweets are tweeted at Maxfun and Jesse, and are in quotes.) “I have audio processing issues and transcripts of podcasts are really valuable to me! I would probably listen to more shows on MaxFun or consider becoming a member if the content was more accessible to people like me. Thank you for your consideration.” “While I am not hearing impaired, neurodivergent, etc., I AM a monthly donor to the MaxFun network, and I would consider making these shows more accesible a worthwhile use of my donations.” “I’m hard of hearing, and I rely on transcripts of my favorite podcasts to help me make sure I don’t miss anything. Accessibility shouldn’t have to be solely in the hands of disabled people.” “I have auditory processing problems and reading the transcript while listening to the podcast will avoid me missing any information.” “I was thinking of maybe becoming a monthly donor of Max Fun this year, but now I’m certainly not. Not being fully aware of an accessibility issue is one thing, having it brought to your attention and deciding you’d rather actively deny disabled people access to your content is a whole ‘nother. I’m very lucky that despite having hearing issues, they generally don’t inhibit me from being able to enjoy podcasts and like media, but there are plenty of people who just don’t have the option of enjoying podcasts in the conventional way. I want to be able to support my favourite content creators, but I can’t do that if they don’t support me and my friends in this extremely basic way.” i’m still adding to the thread! check it out on twitter if you want

keplercryptids: Image description: a series of tweets by @.JDstarblaster (me!) that say: We’ve gotten over 1,000 signatures in 3 days, which...

Save
Blessed, Memes, and Tumblr: I+ is Wednesday my dudes 30-minute-memes: 30-minute-memes: It is Wednesday, my dudes AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA Thank you for your consideration on this blessed Wednesday. Please press the green arrow button

30-minute-memes: 30-minute-memes: It is Wednesday, my dudes AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA...

Save
Blessed, Memes, and Tumblr: I+ is Wednesday my dudes 30-minute-memes:It is Wednesday, my dudes AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAThank you for your consideration on this blessed Wednesday. Please press the green arrow button

30-minute-memes:It is Wednesday, my dudes AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA...

Save
Children, Christmas, and Cookies: "In our family, we have a special way of transitioning the kids from receiving from Santa, to becoming a Santa. This way, the Santa construct is not a lie that gets discovered, but an unfolding series of good deeds and Christmas spirit When they are 6 or 7, whenever you see that dawning suspicion that Santa may not be a material being, that means the child is ready | take them out "for coffee" at the local wherever. We get a booth, order our drinks, and the following pronouncement is made "You sure have arown an awful lot this year. Not only are you taller, but l can see that your heart has grown, too. [ Point out 2-3 examples of empathetic behavior, consideration of people's feelings, good deeds etc, the kıd has done in the past year]. In fact, your heart has grown so much that I think you are ready to become a Santa Claus You probably have noticed that most of the Santas you see are people dressed up ike him. Some of vour friends miaht have even told you that there is no Santa. A lot of children think that, because they arent ready to BE a Santa yet, but YOU ARE Tell me the best things about Santa. What does Santa get for all of his trouble? [lead the kid from cookies to the good feeling of having done something for someone else]. Well, now YOU are ready to do your first job as a Santa!" Make sure you maintain the proper conspiratorial tone We then have the child choose someone they know-a neighbor, usually. Ihe child'S mission is to secretly, deviously, find out something that the person needs, and then provide it, wrap it, deliver it-and never reveal to the target where it came from. Being a Santa isn't about getting credit, you see. It's unselfish giving My oldest chose the "witch lady" on the corner. She really Was horrible--had a fence around the house and would never let the kids go in and get a stray ball or Frisbee. Shed yell at them to play quieter, etc--a real pill. He noticed when we drove to school that she came out every morning to get her paper in bare feet, so he decided she needed slippers. So then he had to go spy and decide how big her feet were. He hid in the bushes one Saturday, and decided she was a medium. We went to Kmart and bought warm slippers. He wrapped them up, and tagged it "merry Christmas from Santa. After dinner one evening, he slipped down to her house, and slid the package under her driveway gate. The next morning, we watched her waddle out to get the paper, pick up the present, and go inside. My son was all excited, and couldn't wait to see what would happen next. The next morning, as we drove off, there she was, out getting her paper--wearing the slippers. He was ecstatic. I had to remind him that NO ONE could ever know what he did, or he wouldn't be a Santa Over the years, he chose a good number of targets, always coming up with a unique present just for them. One year, he polished up his bike, put a new seat on it, and gave it to one of our friend's daughters. These people were and are very poor. We did ask the dad if it was ok The look on her face, when she saw the bike on the patio with a big bow on it, was almost as good as the look on my son's face When it came time for Son #2 to join the ranks, my oldest came along, and helpeo with the induction speech. They are both excellent gifters, by the way, and never felt that they had been lied to-because they were let in on the Secret of Beinga Santa geekinglikeaboss: cunningcelt: hilarious-nefarious: Source This is bloody genius

geekinglikeaboss: cunningcelt: hilarious-nefarious: Source This is bloody genius

Save
Moms, Too Much, and True: snorlaxatives who would win in a fight: an army of lush employees vs an army of bath and body works employees??? discuss mattandjones lush employees, who are more adept at guerrilla warfare and fabian tactics. bath and body works employees rely too much on pitched battle and are not equipped well enough for prolonged conflict ceb3rus I disagree with some of that, I feel as though the Bath and Body Works employees are pretty well trained in the art of handling an all out attack. Their defenses are high and well coordinated. Remember, they deal with white moms on the daily, whereas I feel that Lush employees are more used to dealing with a younger generation of customers.l feel as though they'd be equally matched but in the end I feel with the advancement in technology that Lush possesses over Bath and Body Works in terms of sheer amount that they sell, ultimately Lush wins, but not without heavy casualties dreamnectar All true, but everyone is forgetting Bath and Body Works employees have extreme training dealing with the hell on Earth that is Semi Annual Sale Have you ever seen someone come between a white woman in her 40s and Vanilla Bean Noel at 75% off? Bath and Body Works employees have and still live to tell their stories alwaysasideways8 l think terrain is an important consideration? Lush employees are better at straight melee since they're used to fighting in close quarters, whereas B&BW employees have more experience in moving through wider terrain and using ranged attacks greenekangaroo this is the kind of discourse I want on my dash Source: snorlaxatives 1,590 points • 216 comments - Lush employees vs Bath and Body Works employees - IWSMT has amazing images, videos and anectodes to waste your time on
Save
Chicago, Chief Keef, and College: March 2015 c2 ca 2D HARVARD COLLEG Office of Admissions and Financial Aid Molly McGaan 30 W. Webster Ave Chicago, I1 60614 Dear Ms. McGaan: Thank you for your interest in Harvard College. After careful consideration of your application, I am sorry to inform you that we are unable to offer you a place in the class of 2019. This year's application pool was the strongest in the College's history, and we are unable to offer admission to every student, regardless of their proficiency in dank memes", or their level of Swagg moneyyyy" Although your GPA and ACT seores were certainly up to our standards, your essays raised some eyebrows at the admissions meetings. For future reference, it is not wise to start an essay with the words, "listen here u little slanks" and end with "McGaan out *drops mic" We also didn't need a copy of your mixtape, regardless of how ire it is (one admissions counselor actually listened to it, and we are pretty sure 40 minutes of you making animal noises is not fire). In addition, we will be returning your copy of Grownups 2 signed by Chancellor Angela Merkel, because you said it's your "greatest possession" and we don't want it. We also suggest obtaining recommendation letters from teachers or trusted mentors, not "my #4 side ho Derek" or Chief Keef. who submitted a picture of a dinosaur drawn in crayon on a rolling paper. We greatly appreciate your interest in Harvard, and we offer our best wishes of success as you pursue your educational goals. this is too good

this is too good

Save
Chicago, Chief Keef, and College: Got denied from harvard 0 March 2015 03 07 HARVARD COLLEE Office of Admissions and Financial Aid Molly McGaan 330 W. Webster Ave. Chicago, 11 60614 Dear Ms. MeGaan: Thank you for your interest in Harvard College. After careful consideration of your application I am sorry to inform you that we are unable to offer you a place in the class of 2019. This year's application pool was the strongest in the College's history, and we are unable to offer admission to every student, regardless of their proficiency in "dank memes", or their level of"Swagg moneyyyy." Although your GPA and ACT scores were certainly up to our standards, your essays raised some eyebrows at the admissions meetings. For future reference, it is not wise to start an essay with the words, "listen here u little slanks" and end with "McGaan out drops mic" We also didn't need a copy of your mixtape, regardless of how fire" it is (one admissions counselor actually listened to it, and we are pretty sure 40 minutes of you making animal noises is notire). In addition, we will be returning your copy of Grownups 2 signed by Chancellor Angela Merkel, because you said it's your "greatest possession" and we don't want it. We also suggest obtaining recommendation letters from teachers or trusted mentors, not"my #4 side ho Derek", or Chief Keef, who submitted a picture of a dinosaur drawn in crayon on a rolling paper. We greatly appreciate your interest in Harvard, and we offer our best wishes of success as you pursue your educational goals read this 😂

read this 😂

Save
Anaconda, Crime, and Future: LAD BIBLE UCA PO Box 28 Customer Contact Centre GL52 3ZA Re: Application to Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry Dear applicant Thank you for your application to the above University. After careful consideration, we're sorry to inform you that you have not been successtul. The reason being that Hogwarts School of wiechcraft and Wizardry is fctional, and a igment of J. K Rowling's imagination. We really did appreciate your letter, specifically the part regarding your "impressive wand skills" and the fact that you had been "shouting Wingardium Leviosa at pigeons in your local city centre. However it is probably important to note that the only reason they began to levitate was because they a) have wings and b) were temified The aurors here at UCAS were also shocked to hear that you had abandoned your A Level revision in order to watch the movies 100 times over. We would advise that in future you should check whether or not the university you're applying for is actually real before giving up on your A Levels completely Also, as much as we appreciate the forward-thinking of "collecting hundreds of frogs from the local pond" so that you can use them for spell practice-we would advise taking them back to their home. Other people may see this as a Sinus crime You're dlearly a very creative person (probably a Huffleput), so it may be worth applying for a drama-related course, or possible script writing. through Clearing There's always spaces, so we're sure you can Stytherin We wish you the best of luck. Got rejected from Hogwarts George Brown Don't worry if you're results weren't great, this lad just got rejected from Hogwarts 😂😂
Save
America, Ass, and Books: Thomas McFall @thomas_mcfall Hey guys, I know l usually just post shitty jokes on my Twitter but bear with me because l wanted to share something So in one of my Management classes l sit in the same seat in the front every day. Every single day I sit there Now, l also sit next to some foreign guy that 4/9/18, 6:22 AM 83.9K Retweets 151K Likes Thomas McFall @thomas mcfall. 5d 、 barely speaks English. The most advanced thing l've heard this guy say in English is "Wow, my muffin is really good" This guy also has a habit of stackin;g every item he owns in the exact space l sit. His bag, his food, his books, and his phone are ALWAYS right on my desk space 5 t 743 9,104 Thomas McFall @thomas mcfall 5d Now, every single time l walk into class this guy says "Ah, Tom. You here. Okay." And starts frantically clearing my desk of his belongings. He then makes it a habit to say "Ready for class, yeah?" And gives me a high five. Every day this quy gives me a high five 714 10.8K Thomas McFall @thomasmcfall 5d Tweet your reply Thomas McFall @thomas mcfall 5d I was ALWAYS annoyed with this guy. l'm thinking "Dude, you know I sit in this seat every day. Why are you always stacking your shit here? And the last thing I want to do is give a guy who barely speaks my language high fives at 8 in the morning" Just get your shit off my desk 682 8,716 Thomas McFall @thomas mcfall 5d But today I came to class and was running a few minutes late. I'm standing outside because l had to send a quick text. I could see my usual space through the door out of the corner of my eye. Of course, my desk was filled with his belongings. The usual 4 1652 8,168 Thomas McFall @thomas mcfall 5d As I'm standing there on my phone another guy who was also late walks into the class before me and tried to take my seat since it's closest to the door. Tweet your reply 0 The guy sitting next to me stops this dude from sitting down and says "I'm sorry. My good friend Thomas sits here." t 1,125 19.5K Thomas McFall @thomas mcfall. 5d It was then that I realized this guy wasn't putting stuff on my seat to annoy me. He was saving me the seat every morning And this whole time he saw me as a friend but I was too busy thinking about myself to take him into consideration Cheesy as it sounds, I was touched 38 Thomas McFall @thomas mcfall. 5d ﹀ l ended up going into class and of course he cleared the seat and said "Ah, Tom You here. Okay." And I did get a high five 02,686 41.1KT At the end of class l ended up asking him if he wanted to get a bite to eat with me We did. And we talked for a while. I got through the broken English 4 0795 15.2K Tweet your reply The guy moved here from the Middle East to pursue a college education in America. He plans to go back after he gets his degree. He's got two kids and a wife. He works full time and sends his all his left over money back home to his wife 6 875 18.1K Thomas McFall @thomas mcfall 5d | asked him how he liked America as well He said he misses his family but it's exciting to be here. He also said "Not every American is nice to me like you are, Tom. I bought lunch, of course. Dude deserves it. He gave me a high five for buying lunch. Gotta keep up tradition 16 0994 23.2K Thomas McFall @thomas_mcfall 5d Moral of the story? Don't do what I do and constantly only think about yourself It took me nearly the entire semester to get my head out of my ass and realize this guy was just trying to be my friend Tweet your reply positive-memes: Student finds annoying foreigner is a friend he didn’t know he had.
Save