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Apparently, Bitch, and Moms: ruby-white-rabbit There's a turtle in my yard laying eggs This bitch really gonna dump her kids on me and vamoose I'm not ready to be a single mom I know shit about reptiles I had to put a stick next to the nest because she decided the MIDDLE of our yard was the primo spot to give birth Mowing is gonna be interesting this summer Meet the mother leaving her wildlife progeny under my city girl care I'm googling turtles right now, I sent photos to my southern stepmom for help. Apparently she's a box turtle? 70 DAYS UNTIL THEY HATCH?? iplemons You a mom now Text from stepmom "watch out for foxes, cranes, raccoons, and snakes. They'll eat the eggs so chase them off ruby-white-rabbit mrswinterbarnes Name her Sharron, she sounds like she doesn't care about her kids @mrswinterbarnes you're not wrong. When I came back from closing the barn doors she was gone. Nowhere in sight. I thought turtles were supposed to be slow I was gone maybe ten minutes so first off, not even a goodbye?? I don't think Box turtles return to their nest either, so until they hatch and dig out YOU GONNA BE A MOMMA DAMN IT SHARRON First that bird makes its nursery in my bike basket on our porch and now this Why am I becoming a wildlife nanny?? UPDATE SHES BACK NEVERMIND ITS A DIFFERENT TURTLE That's two deadbeat turtle moms dropping their spawn on me ladystud Call this one Susan blad-the-inhaler You're like a really ticked-off nature witch who never signed up for this animal empath shit I'm trying to figure out when "oh, it's only midnight" to "omg it's already midnight" #lawnmowerpeople
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Bad, Fucking, and God: Sexy Bible Quotes, Inspired by Some Birds my Friend saw Fucking Outside her House, ao3tagoftheday: oxymoronicromantic: ao3tagoftheday: [Image Description: Tags reading “sexy bible quotes, inspired by some birds my friend saw fucking outside her house”] The AO3 Tag of the Day is: This is one hell of a non-sequitor “On the day when the Lord spoke to Moses in the land of Egypt, 29 the Lord said to Moses, “I am the Lord; tell Pharaoh king of Egypt all that I say to you.” 30 But Moses said to the Lord, “Behold, I am of uncircumcised lips. How will Pharaoh listen to me?” 7 And the Lord said to Moses, “See, I have made you like God to Pharaoh, and your brother Aaron shall be your prophet. 2 You shall speak all that I command you, and your brother Aaron shall tell Pharaoh to let the people of Israel go out of his land.” …I don’t think it’s telling anyone that they’re doing activism wrong???? Anyways. Song of Songs is sexier. Ok! First off, thanks for putting the verses in; that makes my life easier! Second, Song of Songs is undoubtedly sexy, but the phrase “uncircumcised lips” is much sexier. Here’s why:“Uncircumcised lips” is a literal translation of the Hebrew, and scholars have spent millennia trying to figure out what the fuck it means. Because, like, it’s a weird fucking phrase, let’s be real. Actually, let’s all take a moment to imagine what that might physically look like. We deserve it.Anyway, back on topic. Most scholars have ended up interpreting it as saying that Moses has some kind of speech impediment. But that’s really a stretch. I mean, if that’s what was meant, why not say, “a man of broken speech” or something like that? No, I think the meaning of that phrase is a lot simpler.Circumcision is the sign of the Jewish covenant with G-d. In this period of the Bible, after G-d and Abraham made the covenant but before the Law was given at Mt. Sinai, circumcision was the single, defining thing that set the Jewish people apart from everyone else. So what does it mean to have uncircumcised lips? I submit that to speak with uncircumcised lips is to speak with a non-Jewish voice.But Moses is Jewish! Why would his voice not be? Because, Moses is unique among the Jewish people. He wasn’t raised as a slave. That’s what the Jewish people are in this period and have been for hundreds of years. They’re slaves. For generations, that slavery has defined and warped their culture. Moses has never been a slave and has never lived among his people who are. He may be Jewish, but his understanding of his people, and therefore his ability to speak for them, is non-existent.So G-d tells Moses to speak to Pharoah on behalf of the Jewish people and Moses says no. How will he speak for his people, advocate for them, demand their freedom, when he can’t speak with their voice? He can’t do it and he tells G-d no. No, I won’t speak for the slaves when I am free. It’s not my place.So what does G-d say? He says Moses is right. He tells Moses to give G-d’s message to Aaron, a man who has been a slave all his life, and let Aaron go to Pharoah and speak for the Jewish people. Because Aaron is of them, understands them, their pain, their oppression, in a way that Moses, a free man, can’t and never will. Aaron speaks with a truly Jewish voice, with circumcised lips, so he must be the one who speaks for the Jewish people.So basically, G-d tells Moses to speak over an oppressed group he isn’t a part of, Moses says “no that’s bad activism”, and G-d says “you’re right oppressed people should speak and direct their own fight against oppression.”In conclusion, sure, the Song of Songs is sexy, but have you ever tried telling G-d that he needs to work harder to prioritize marginalized voices?
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Dad, Family, and Friends: AT&T 2:40 PM * 76% ), 2 People Hi Mom, Dad I was going to wait until Mom got home to announce this in person, but I don't want to wait any longer. I recently discovered/ realized that I'm trans. I don't want to have a big giant discussion about this so l'm going to address what believe to be the most pressing questions right here No, it's not a personality Message X, á Pay 2 2:40 PM 2 People No, it's not a personality thing that I've beern repressing, it's just my body not feeling right. I'm still going to have the same personality that you know and love No, this is not some spur of the moment things, I've had these feelings for several years now, but it took getting linked to a transgender meme subreddit for me to understand what they meant. Yes, I do eventually Message X, á Pay Il AT&T 2:40 PM 2 People Yes, I do eventually want hormone treatments. Wether I want surgery or not is something I'll decide at a later date No I don't know how I'lI break the news to grandma, still figuring that out. I do know how I want to go about it with my friends and other family though No I am not into guys, so I guess that makes me lesbian as well. Message X, á Pay 2 AT&T 2:41 PM * 76% 2 People Thank you for all your love and support. l don't want to discuss this more until I get home today, and even then, I want some time to myself first. Please call me Grace Dad Woah First off know that we love you and will support you. I'll talk to you some more tonight. Message 0 Pay 2 I came out to my parents
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Anaconda, Anna, and Community: hobbit-hole if i had to get in a fistfight with any member of the fellowship it would be Frodo because i would easily win hobbit-hole all i am saying is that he would ostensibly be the easiest one to take on in a fight given that he's like three feet tall and has led a life of (physical) leisure compared to all of the others due to his standing as a gentlehobbit legolas, aragorn, and gimli are all used to combat, sam works as a gardener merry and pippin often gallivant off and get into mischief so they have the advantage of experience in whatever it is they've gotten up to/would possibly fight dirty, gandalf is gandalf so while weapons are out of the question i suppose that depends on if magic is involved. i don't think i could take him without magic even if he is old because he's a very large guy, but maybe it would be my knuckles against Frodo's baby soft poet hands, plus rve got the additional height and fighting experience. i just think that he would be the easiest to win against in hand-to-hand combat out of the rest of them. also he isn't real so he can't offer a rebuttal to my claim penny-anna you're absolutely correct BUT wanting to fight Frodo makes you a monster D hobbit-hole this has nothing to do with WANTING to fight Frodo, i just think he would be easiest for me to beat in a fight with no weapons. unless he utilized his very large feet, but i think he's too polite to do that because it's a fist fight and that would be considered playing dirty penny anna for someone who doesn't want to fight Frodo you sure have put a lot of thought into fighting Frodo. animate-mush OP is wrong though: you fight Pippin. First off, Pippin has it coming, so you won't be fighting your conscience at the same time Secondly, Pippin is a spoiled rich kid. He's no less gentry than Frodo is, but Frodo works out and is shown to have better stamina, at least at the outset. Pippin is also both the stupidest and the slowest of the hobbits. They both nearly beat one (1) troll, so that's comparable, but Pippin appears not to have got a single hit in against the orcs that captured them while Merry was cutting off hands like a boss. Pippin also straight-up tell Bergil that he's not a fighter Also there's a nonzero chance that Frodo will just straight up curse you (if the guilt of fighting Frodo isn't enough if a curse by itself) And, of course, if you try to fight Frodo, you will 100% end up fighting Sam, and he will wreck you (and you'll deserve it, you penny-anna Also: if you fight Frodo you'll have a very angry Sam & possibly also the entire Fellowship to deal with BUT if you fight Pippin they will probably cheer you on ainurs Bold of you to assume one could attempt to fight Pippin and NOT instantly be killed by Boromir feynites So here's the thing - you absolutely DO NOT want to try and fight Frodo or Pippin because they are going to be protected by the rest of the Fellowship which basically exists to stop asshole Big People from picking on the hobbits. Folk might talk a big game but when the chips are down, you are not going to lay a single hand on any of the hobbits. Either you'll find yourself immediately fighting all four of them or else you'll move to land your first hit and suddenly Aragorn will side-tackle you into the trees. And he probably hits like a freight train tbh. So here's what you do You fight Legolas. The thing about fist-fighting Legolas of course is that you will lose. This is not a fight you're gonna win no matter what. But Legolas has his standing competition with Gimili, so once the challenge is issued, he's not gonna let anyone else step in and fight you either. No one is liable to volunteer on his behalf, either, so you will only end up fighting the one member of the fellowship. If you are lucky he might also take his shirt off. Bonus! Anyway Legolas will mop the floor with you, but he's also already convinced you're weaker than him anyway because you're not an elf, so he's gonna go kind of easy on you And when you lose he will be all snide and superior about it, which means everyone in the fellowship is gonna sympathize with you, and Gimli will probably challenge him on your behalf afterwards, but here's the key thing You will have lost a fist-fight to an immortal warrior prince That's a way better loss to cop to than that time you tried to fistfight a pudgy gentlehobbit and got beaten to the point of unconsciousness by his gardener yeah? icescrabblerjerky okay so tolkien tumblr is fast becoming my fave tumblr community thank you thank you all you are the true fellowship here. Source:hobbit-hole #mmmmmmmmmmhmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm 32,148 notes The Tolkien discourse is getting violent
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Apparently, Butt, and College: Baby & Child Care Health Care Sports Ntition Personal Care w Health & Personal Care Household Supplies Vitamins & Diet Supplements Health&Household Sensal Weliness > Aduit Toys&Games Sex Toys Didos Liquid Silicone Dildo, Nabini Huge Black 12 Inch Thick Realistic Suction Cup Waterproof Dildo by NatansPc ☆☆☆☆☆-10 customer renews You Sav In Stoc Gt-wap 2 Colors Want it One Da Start AT&T LTE 12:47 PM Q Search This Thing Almost Killed My Grandmaa Ok. First off, THIS THING IS HUGE!!! I didn't realize it when ordering. But When every one left the house one dayI decided to give it the old college try. The suction cup works well, I had it stuck to my bedroom door. Ok, so when trying to use this it was really big and awkward. I was trying to back against it slowly letting my butt hole adjust to the massive width. I had my I-Pod Listening to "Eye of the Tiger" trying to get pumped for the whole thing. Well I didn't hear my grandmother come home early and apparently i was making some noise rocking back on this Mega-Dong mounted to the door, and singing along to The Theme Song to Rocky. Well my Grandma comes to investigate and jerks my door open, which snatched the toy out of my butt bringing my sphincter with it. My grandmother Freaks and Slams the Door which POWER DRIVES this thing Up my anus all the way to the base. I'm Screaming in pain, and My grand mother is yelling holding her chest. Next thing I know she collapses. So there I am with a Bleeding, Prolapsed Butt hole and my grandma on the floor. I'm in so much pain and am freaking out worrying that l've killed her. So I crawled over to her and pushed her life alert button to send the paramedics. one of which was a new guy and when I tried explaining the story he literally pissed on himself laughing Anyway they popped an ammonia capsule and brought my grandmother back. She seems ok but we haven't made eye contact for 2 weeks and my butt is a little worse for wear. And when I fart now, it sounds like a Peterbilt 379 releasing its air brakes Care ルDiet Write a comment.. Post
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