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inquisitorhotpants: burntcopper: futureevilscientist: optimysticals: uovoc: konec0: sleepyferret: shitfacedanon: dat-soldier: sonnetscrewdriver: dat-soldier: did-you-kno: Source back the fuck up There’s another story that I like about a Chinese general who had to defend a city with only a handful of soldiers from a huge enemy horde that was in all likelihood going to steamroll the place flat within hours of showing up. So when said horde did arrive, they saw the general sitting outside the city’s open gates, drinking tea. The horde sent a couple of emissaries over to see what was what, and the general greeted them cheerfully and invited them all to come and take tea with him. The horde decided that this was a scenario that had “MASSIVE FUCKING TRAP” written all over it in beautiful calligraphy and promptly fucked off. Whoever that general was, he was clearly the Ancient Chinese equivalent of Sam Vimes. did he just invite us over for tea nah man i’m out This just keeps getting better I fucking love history. ok but tbh that story misses a lot of the subtlety of the situation like ok so this story is the Romance of Three Kingdoms, and essentially takes place between Zhuge Liang, resident tactician extraordinaire, and Sima Yi… OTHER resident tactician extraordinaire. The two were both regarded as tactical geniuses and recognized the other as their rival. Zhuge Liang had a reputation for ambushing the SHIT out of his opponents and using the environment to his advantage, thus destroying large armies with a small number of men. Sima Yi (who kind of entered the picture later) was a cautious person whose speciality was unravelling his opponent’s plans before they began. So it was natural that the two would butt heads; however, since Sima Yi tended to have more men and resources, he started winning battles against the former. Which, y’know, kinda sucked. On to the actual story: Zhuge Liang is all like “shit i gotta defend this city with like 10 men.” Literally if he fights ANY kind of battle here, he WILL lose; his only option for survival is not to fight. And that’s looking more and more impossible until he hears that his rival is leading the opposing army. And then he gets this brilliant idea. He basically opens all the gates, sends his men out in civilian clothes to sweep the streets, and sits on top of the gate drinking tea and chilling out and basically makes the whole thing out to be a trap When Sima Yi comes he’s all like “yo come on in bro” and Sima Yi is like “yeah he’s never been that obvious about his traps before. this is definitely a bluff” and he’s about to head in when he realizes wait. he knows that i think he’s bluffing. and so he gets it in his head that maybe, just MAYBE, Zhuge Liang has this cunning plan that will wipe out his army - recall that he has a pretty good handle on what his rival is capable of. And after a long period of deliberation (which is just like “he know that I know that he knows that etc.”), being the cautious man he is, SIma Yi eventually decides to turn his entire army around and leave. Zhuge Liang later points out that the plan was based specifically on the fact that he was facing his rival; if it had been anyone else, there’s no way it would have worked. A dumber or less cautious person would have simply charged in and won without breaking a sweat.  and that’s the real genius here: it was a plan formed entirely just to deceive one man, and it worked. Zhuge Liang is the most brilliant, sneaky-ass bastard in history. One time his side’s army was out of arrows, which pretty much meant they were screwed. So Zhuge Liang goes and does the logical thing, which is build a fuck ton of scarecrows and put them all on boats. Then he makes the men hide in the boats and sail them out on the river. Well, that day was super foggy (which Zhuge Liang had predicted. Did I mention he was also a freakishly accurate meteorologist?). So the enemy across the river sees a fleet of boats armed to the teeth with what appears to be half an army of men. They panic! and start firing arrows like crazy.  Zhuge Liang lets this play out for a while, then he’s like, ”Ok guys that’s enough.” They calmly turn the boats around and go back to base, where they dismantle the scarecrows and pull out all the enemy’s arrows. Zhuge Liang is legend. I love this post. It just keeps getting better. Like seriously, I would have adored learning about this in World History. If you want to see this in cinematic glory, watch Red Cliff. Especially since it makes Zhuge Liang look like this: Red Cliff is 50% bloody battles and 50% eye candy and about half of that eye-candy is due to Zhuge Liang I fully support watching Red Cliff; it’s gloriously silly entertainment during the battle scenes. Guess what just got moved to the top of my watch list?? :D : inquisitorhotpants: burntcopper: futureevilscientist: optimysticals: uovoc: konec0: sleepyferret: shitfacedanon: dat-soldier: sonnetscrewdriver: dat-soldier: did-you-kno: Source back the fuck up There’s another story that I like about a Chinese general who had to defend a city with only a handful of soldiers from a huge enemy horde that was in all likelihood going to steamroll the place flat within hours of showing up. So when said horde did arrive, they saw the general sitting outside the city’s open gates, drinking tea. The horde sent a couple of emissaries over to see what was what, and the general greeted them cheerfully and invited them all to come and take tea with him. The horde decided that this was a scenario that had “MASSIVE FUCKING TRAP” written all over it in beautiful calligraphy and promptly fucked off. Whoever that general was, he was clearly the Ancient Chinese equivalent of Sam Vimes. did he just invite us over for tea nah man i’m out This just keeps getting better I fucking love history. ok but tbh that story misses a lot of the subtlety of the situation like ok so this story is the Romance of Three Kingdoms, and essentially takes place between Zhuge Liang, resident tactician extraordinaire, and Sima Yi… OTHER resident tactician extraordinaire. The two were both regarded as tactical geniuses and recognized the other as their rival. Zhuge Liang had a reputation for ambushing the SHIT out of his opponents and using the environment to his advantage, thus destroying large armies with a small number of men. Sima Yi (who kind of entered the picture later) was a cautious person whose speciality was unravelling his opponent’s plans before they began. So it was natural that the two would butt heads; however, since Sima Yi tended to have more men and resources, he started winning battles against the former. Which, y’know, kinda sucked. On to the actual story: Zhuge Liang is all like “shit i gotta defend this city with like 10 men.” Literally if he fights ANY kind of battle here, he WILL lose; his only option for survival is not to fight. And that’s looking more and more impossible until he hears that his rival is leading the opposing army. And then he gets this brilliant idea. He basically opens all the gates, sends his men out in civilian clothes to sweep the streets, and sits on top of the gate drinking tea and chilling out and basically makes the whole thing out to be a trap When Sima Yi comes he’s all like “yo come on in bro” and Sima Yi is like “yeah he’s never been that obvious about his traps before. this is definitely a bluff” and he’s about to head in when he realizes wait. he knows that i think he’s bluffing. and so he gets it in his head that maybe, just MAYBE, Zhuge Liang has this cunning plan that will wipe out his army - recall that he has a pretty good handle on what his rival is capable of. And after a long period of deliberation (which is just like “he know that I know that he knows that etc.”), being the cautious man he is, SIma Yi eventually decides to turn his entire army around and leave. Zhuge Liang later points out that the plan was based specifically on the fact that he was facing his rival; if it had been anyone else, there’s no way it would have worked. A dumber or less cautious person would have simply charged in and won without breaking a sweat.  and that’s the real genius here: it was a plan formed entirely just to deceive one man, and it worked. Zhuge Liang is the most brilliant, sneaky-ass bastard in history. One time his side’s army was out of arrows, which pretty much meant they were screwed. So Zhuge Liang goes and does the logical thing, which is build a fuck ton of scarecrows and put them all on boats. Then he makes the men hide in the boats and sail them out on the river. Well, that day was super foggy (which Zhuge Liang had predicted. Did I mention he was also a freakishly accurate meteorologist?). So the enemy across the river sees a fleet of boats armed to the teeth with what appears to be half an army of men. They panic! and start firing arrows like crazy.  Zhuge Liang lets this play out for a while, then he’s like, ”Ok guys that’s enough.” They calmly turn the boats around and go back to base, where they dismantle the scarecrows and pull out all the enemy’s arrows. Zhuge Liang is legend. I love this post. It just keeps getting better. Like seriously, I would have adored learning about this in World History. If you want to see this in cinematic glory, watch Red Cliff. Especially since it makes Zhuge Liang look like this: Red Cliff is 50% bloody battles and 50% eye candy and about half of that eye-candy is due to Zhuge Liang I fully support watching Red Cliff; it’s gloriously silly entertainment during the battle scenes. Guess what just got moved to the top of my watch list?? :D
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ding-dong-the-bitch-is-dead: ayalaatreides: professor-maple-mod: phoenix-phoenix: stuckinremission: “Sweet dreams are made of this. Who am I to disagree?“ Holy shit this fucking super power. The avengers did Quicksilver WRONG. Holy shit The brilliant thing about this isn’t just the CGI, it’s the clever little touches of humor– mussing the boy’s hair, saving the goldfish, drinking the soda can, the moonwalk, lining up the dart with the dartboard. I notice new details every time I see this clip. You can watch this scene with zero context and still fully enjoy it. You don’t need to know who he is or who he’s saving or why. There’s a guy who runs real fast and he’s saving people from an explosion, and he’s having a blast with it, and that’s all you need to know. It’s entertaining and fully comprehensible even if you know nothing about the movie. That’s damn good filmmaking. @theproblemkyd @blackkatmagic My favorite Live Action Quicksilver! I love Evan Peters! I just,,,, the fact that it’s fast until he shows up, then it slows down, then speeds up as soon as he leaves? And the fact that nothing actually stops moving, you can see everything still going on around him, rather than being so slow any movement is imperceptible so it just kind of looks like he’s frozen time or whatever? The fact that it shows how he can manipulate physics and stuff when he’s going so fast, like using floorboards that are being blown apart as stepping stones to a girl in the stairs? All of it is just so good I love this scene so goddamn much: ding-dong-the-bitch-is-dead: ayalaatreides: professor-maple-mod: phoenix-phoenix: stuckinremission: “Sweet dreams are made of this. Who am I to disagree?“ Holy shit this fucking super power. The avengers did Quicksilver WRONG. Holy shit The brilliant thing about this isn’t just the CGI, it’s the clever little touches of humor– mussing the boy’s hair, saving the goldfish, drinking the soda can, the moonwalk, lining up the dart with the dartboard. I notice new details every time I see this clip. You can watch this scene with zero context and still fully enjoy it. You don’t need to know who he is or who he’s saving or why. There’s a guy who runs real fast and he’s saving people from an explosion, and he’s having a blast with it, and that’s all you need to know. It’s entertaining and fully comprehensible even if you know nothing about the movie. That’s damn good filmmaking. @theproblemkyd @blackkatmagic My favorite Live Action Quicksilver! I love Evan Peters! I just,,,, the fact that it’s fast until he shows up, then it slows down, then speeds up as soon as he leaves? And the fact that nothing actually stops moving, you can see everything still going on around him, rather than being so slow any movement is imperceptible so it just kind of looks like he’s frozen time or whatever? The fact that it shows how he can manipulate physics and stuff when he’s going so fast, like using floorboards that are being blown apart as stepping stones to a girl in the stairs? All of it is just so good I love this scene so goddamn much
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ding-dong-the-bitch-is-dead: ayalaatreides: professor-maple-mod: phoenix-phoenix: stuckinremission: “Sweet dreams are made of this. Who am I to disagree?“ Holy shit this fucking super power. The avengers did Quicksilver WRONG. Holy shit The brilliant thing about this isn’t just the CGI, it’s the clever little touches of humor– mussing the boy’s hair, saving the goldfish, drinking the soda can, the moonwalk, lining up the dart with the dartboard. I notice new details every time I see this clip. You can watch this scene with zero context and still fully enjoy it. You don’t need to know who he is or who he’s saving or why. There’s a guy who runs real fast and he’s saving people from an explosion, and he’s having a blast with it, and that’s all you need to know. It’s entertaining and fully comprehensible even if you know nothing about the movie. That’s damn good filmmaking. @theproblemkyd @blackkatmagic My favorite Live Action Quicksilver! I love Evan Peters!: ding-dong-the-bitch-is-dead: ayalaatreides: professor-maple-mod: phoenix-phoenix: stuckinremission: “Sweet dreams are made of this. Who am I to disagree?“ Holy shit this fucking super power. The avengers did Quicksilver WRONG. Holy shit The brilliant thing about this isn’t just the CGI, it’s the clever little touches of humor– mussing the boy’s hair, saving the goldfish, drinking the soda can, the moonwalk, lining up the dart with the dartboard. I notice new details every time I see this clip. You can watch this scene with zero context and still fully enjoy it. You don’t need to know who he is or who he’s saving or why. There’s a guy who runs real fast and he’s saving people from an explosion, and he’s having a blast with it, and that’s all you need to know. It’s entertaining and fully comprehensible even if you know nothing about the movie. That’s damn good filmmaking. @theproblemkyd @blackkatmagic My favorite Live Action Quicksilver! I love Evan Peters!
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ruffboijuliaburnsides: ayalaatreides: professor-maple-mod: phoenix-phoenix: stuckinremission: “Sweet dreams are made of this. Who am I to disagree?“ Holy shit this fucking super power. The avengers did Quicksilver WRONG. Holy shit The brilliant thing about this isn’t just the CGI, it’s the clever little touches of humor– mussing the boy’s hair, saving the goldfish, drinking the soda can, the moonwalk, lining up the dart with the dartboard. I notice new details every time I see this clip. You can watch this scene with zero context and still fully enjoy it. You don’t need to know who he is or who he’s saving or why. There’s a guy who runs real fast and he’s saving people from an explosion, and he’s having a blast with it, and that’s all you need to know. It’s entertaining and fully comprehensible even if you know nothing about the movie. That’s damn good filmmaking. I have absolutely ZERO interest in ever watching this movie, and I never have had any. But ever since this clip first made it onto tumblr, I have watched it EVERY SINGLE TIME it’s come around, because it is just absolutely fantastic work not only cinematographically but also to show characterization. He’s gonna save all these people, but he’s also gonna have a little fun. He’s a good person but a mischievous one, who probably has a lot of opinions and who doesn’t take things too seriously. Plus the music choice is just ON POINT. : ruffboijuliaburnsides: ayalaatreides: professor-maple-mod: phoenix-phoenix: stuckinremission: “Sweet dreams are made of this. Who am I to disagree?“ Holy shit this fucking super power. The avengers did Quicksilver WRONG. Holy shit The brilliant thing about this isn’t just the CGI, it’s the clever little touches of humor– mussing the boy’s hair, saving the goldfish, drinking the soda can, the moonwalk, lining up the dart with the dartboard. I notice new details every time I see this clip. You can watch this scene with zero context and still fully enjoy it. You don’t need to know who he is or who he’s saving or why. There’s a guy who runs real fast and he’s saving people from an explosion, and he’s having a blast with it, and that’s all you need to know. It’s entertaining and fully comprehensible even if you know nothing about the movie. That’s damn good filmmaking. I have absolutely ZERO interest in ever watching this movie, and I never have had any. But ever since this clip first made it onto tumblr, I have watched it EVERY SINGLE TIME it’s come around, because it is just absolutely fantastic work not only cinematographically but also to show characterization. He’s gonna save all these people, but he’s also gonna have a little fun. He’s a good person but a mischievous one, who probably has a lot of opinions and who doesn’t take things too seriously. Plus the music choice is just ON POINT.
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littlebabypubert: threadzless: aphony-cree: bscully: swevicki: dude-its-liz: libertybill: Ok but damn you gotto give it to him, dude actually did it. Bullshit. He didn’t. He’s pulling a PR stunt right now. From a quick googling, national testicle association doesn’t exist anywhere. Most hits track back to news articles to this subject matter, but there is NO actual association with that exact name (Did all these fucks who created their clickbait articles around the web even bother to check…?) “Sincerely, Dick N bawls”? Lol seriously tumblr are you this gullible everyone can take a picture of them wearing a oxygen tube, especially if it doesn’t seem to connect to anywhere (= normally a oxygen device or similar  should be next to his bed). They can be detached to the main tube, leaving only the piece that wraps around your your ears/head, that’s exactly how that photo looks like. I should have taken a pic like that last time I was in the hospital just to bullshit people on social media lmao Also this: Where’s that Testicle Association you’re speaking of? That NTA logo on the letterhead is from the Nutritional Therapy Association (x) If you expected a nazi to act with integrity you haven’t been paying attention This website is sooo fucking unbelievably stupid imagine needing an entire dissertation to understand that this neo-nazi did not actually donate his left testicle to the “National Testicle Association” and produce a document signed by a real man named Dick N Bawls : Joey Saladino O @JoeySalads · 25 Sep If Trump gets impeached, I will donate my Left testicle to medical research. You can quote me on this. t7 748 957 3,583 Trevisaurus Rex @Trevisaur · 23s Pay up, you piss-drinking nazi. littlebabypubert: threadzless: aphony-cree: bscully: swevicki: dude-its-liz: libertybill: Ok but damn you gotto give it to him, dude actually did it. Bullshit. He didn’t. He’s pulling a PR stunt right now. From a quick googling, national testicle association doesn’t exist anywhere. Most hits track back to news articles to this subject matter, but there is NO actual association with that exact name (Did all these fucks who created their clickbait articles around the web even bother to check…?) “Sincerely, Dick N bawls”? Lol seriously tumblr are you this gullible everyone can take a picture of them wearing a oxygen tube, especially if it doesn’t seem to connect to anywhere (= normally a oxygen device or similar  should be next to his bed). They can be detached to the main tube, leaving only the piece that wraps around your your ears/head, that’s exactly how that photo looks like. I should have taken a pic like that last time I was in the hospital just to bullshit people on social media lmao Also this: Where’s that Testicle Association you’re speaking of? That NTA logo on the letterhead is from the Nutritional Therapy Association (x) If you expected a nazi to act with integrity you haven’t been paying attention This website is sooo fucking unbelievably stupid imagine needing an entire dissertation to understand that this neo-nazi did not actually donate his left testicle to the “National Testicle Association” and produce a document signed by a real man named Dick N Bawls
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