🔥 Popular | Latest

Brains, College, and Comfortable: arcticfoxbear Humans Are Weird So there has been a bit of what if humans were the weird ones?" going around tumbir at the moment and Earth Day got me thinking Earth is a wonky place, the axis tits, the orbit wobbles, and the ground spews molten rock for goodness sakes. What it what makes humans weird is just our capacity to survive? What if all the other life bearing planets are these mild, Mediterranean climates with no seasons, no tectonic plates, and no intense weather? what if several species (including humans) land on a world and the humans are all SCOREI Earth like worldl Lets get exploring before we get out competear And the planet starts offing the other aliens right and et, electrid storms, hypothermia, tornadoes and the humans are just there. counting seconds between riashes, having snowball fights, and just surviving To paraphrase one of my favorite bits of a humans are awesome fiction megapost you don't know you're from a Death World until you leave it" For a ton of reasons, I really like the idea of Earth being Space Australa crazy-pages Alen: "Tm sorry what did you just say your comfortable temperature range is? Human-H0ถesty we can tolerate anywhere from-40 to 50 Celcius but we prefer the 0 to 30 range AlienI'm sorry, did you just list temperatures below freezing? Human: "Yeah, but most of us prefer to throw on scarves or jackets at those temperatures it can be a bt nippy Other human Nah mate, I knew this guy in college who refused to wear anything past his knees and elbows until it was -20 at least. Human: Heh Alilen And did you also say 50 Celcius? As in, hair way to bolling?" Human: Eugh Yes it sucks, we sweat everywhere, and god helip you it you Yeah everybody knows someone like that touch a seatbelt buckle, but yes Aen We've got like 50 uninhabitable planets we think you might enjoy val tashoth Youre telling me that you have. settiements On islands with active volcanism? well yeah i'm not about to tell Iceland and Hawail how to live their lives Actually, it's kind of a tourist attraction What, the moften rock? Well yeahl It's not every day you see a mountain spew out iquid rocks! The best one is Yelowstone, though All these hot springs and geysers from the YOU ACTIVELY SEEK OUT ACTIVE SUPERVOLCANOES? Shit, man, we swim in the groundwater near them. Sounds like the "Damned trlogy by Alan Dean Foster the-grand author And you say the poles of your world would get as low as negative one hundred with wind chit? Yup, with blizzards you cant see through every other day just about Amazingl when did you manage to send drones that could survive such temperatures? well, actually what? ..what?" we sent no yeah I heard you I just- what? You sent.. HUMANS. to a place one hundred degrees below treezing? y-yeah and they didnt. die? Well the first few did PEOPLE DIED OF THE COLD AND YOUR SOLUTION WAS TO SEND MORE PEOPLE32212121 But surely you have records of volcanic activity doing tremendous damage to human settlements Yep. Pompeii is legendary. Entire cities went Towns buried under lava, peoples brains boiled in the first rush of heat, loads more kißed by falling ah, good, they learned their lesson and didn't build there again wel Are you serniously telling me this volcano is legendary for kiling several urban conurbations and you built on top of it AGAIN? In our defence it hasn't actually done it since What about earthquake-prone areas? Tell me you're at least vaguely sensibile about those Oh yeah After the first major earthquake that flattens a city, we budd them better 159.505 notes Humans are wierd
Save
Bad, Head, and Life: JO @Jadenosteen retweet to save a life 3 4 2 1 2 1 2 3 1 p-artsypants: buttalicious602: emotionalempowerer: Please, reblog! IIt’s called self defense. Apart from having here, in the US, one of the highest cases of homicide and rape in the world and high rate of GBV, think about how this could help your mother or sister Yes indeed#💯💯💯💯💯 Hey guys, as a blackbelt in Tae Kwon Do, I just want to say a few things: 1) Self defense is an amazing skill to learn, and this image set has some pretty good ideas.  2) PLEASE don’t use your head unless absolutely necessary! You can hurt yourself worse than the attacker, and get in some really big trouble. The elbows and knees are super powerful weapons instead. 3) If you are trapped with your back against a body, and don’t have use of your arms, thrust your hips backwards as hard as you can into the groin. It’ll give you a chance to break away to use your elbow. Stomping on the foot can also help. 4) Don’t try to defeat the attacker. The second you’re free, RUN. Once you’re safe, call the police. You might want to feel like a superhero, but you could be overpowered again. Don’t take that risk.  5) I also agree with the person who mentioned a closed fist punch against a jaw is a bad idea. You can break your knuckles. Instead, use your palm.  6) Good luck with that knee move, because you might not be able to pick up his leg. 7) Groin shots are illegal in sports, but not in life! A swift kick to the balls in a easy way to incapacitate a man. 

p-artsypants: buttalicious602: emotionalempowerer: Please, reblog! IIt’s called self defense. Apart from having here, in the US, one of the...

Save
Ass, Baseball, and Fall: jpg (46 KB, 1024x683) No.46363786 Anonymous 18 min. ago >be me >working register at mcd's like a fucking wagie mom and son come up >absolute units, their hands were fucking round perfectly fucking round, like a baseball little blob holding a small fish bowl, maybe they came back from Walmart after getting a fish poor fish, probably doesn't even get his ration of the fish food one of those families that has each family member go up to order for themselves hate these kinds of families mama blob starts ordering out of breath from standing in line >slams her elbows down onto the counter to rest while ordering could have fucking swore i heard the counter rumble yaah *pant* could i have a *pant* ahhhhh *pant* big Mac *pant* make that two actually... *pant* no three.... and a *pant* basket of fries and *pant* a large diet coke sweat beads fall down from her chins onto the table breathes in sharply struggles to take elbows off of table finally accomplishes the task finally accomplishes the task two huge wet marks take up the register section those are her fucking elbows her elbows actually fucking sweated little blob comes up to order "can i have 2 big Macs pant* a basket of fries.. *pant* make that two actually *pant* and a large diet Coke *pant* brings fish bowl out onto counter "and... *pant* fill this up *pant* with chocolate *pant* milkshake >a fucking fishbowl sorry, our largest size is a large. we cannot fill things that aren't McDonalds cups mama blob starts throwing a tantrum "HE WANTS HIS FUCKING MILKSHAKE SO GIVE IT TO HIM" maam, we cann >"LET ME SPEAK TO YOUR GOD DAMN MANAGER go get manager >he just repeats what I said tells her she can buy about 10 large milkshakes to fill it if she wants "DAS TOO EXPENSIVE!!!" "TOO MUCH CALORIES!!!" >me and manager stare at each other did she really just say that mama blob sees us looking at each other cont. whole restaurant has been quiet this whole time just looking at us >mama blob hears something turns her body to look backward >a gentle greasy breeze hits me >sees a couple people snickering turns back around "YOURE EMBARRASSING ME!!" >me and manager stay silent tears start to well up in her eyes could have just been sweat though face turns redder grabs her son's hand "WE'RE NEVER EATING HERE AGAIN!" >something deep down told me that wasn't true >pulls her son's hand waddles out hear her panting as she opens the door notice something >me and manager both notice it look at each other there was something brown in the middle of Hammy's ass could it be could it fucking be look at her legs brown liquid streaking the inside of her right leg >she sharted >she actually fucking sharted and left a brown trail had to febreeze the fuck out of that place for 5 minutes janitor almost puked cleaning it up Hammy & Boy: A Shitty Quest for Fishbowl Milkshake
Save
Bodies , Paradise, and Tumblr: ZITZIMITL <p><a href="http://nathanandersonart.tumblr.com/post/121323771254/name-tzitzimitl-roughly-pronounced-zee-zee-meel" class="tumblr_blog">nathanandersonart</a>:</p><blockquote><p><b>Name:</b> Tzitzimitl (roughly pronounced Zee Zee Meel)<br/><b>Area of Origin:</b> Central Mexico; The Aztecs<br/><br/>In Aztec Mythology, A Tzitzimitl (plural: Tzitzimimeh) is a female deity associated with the stars. They were usually depicted as skeletal figures, often wearing skirts and decorative headdresses. In the most famous depictions, adorning their bodies are severed hands, and cut-out hearts, and appear to have pointed claws on both their hands and feet. Another odd detail is that they seem to have eyeballs growing out of different joints, such as the ankles, knees, wrists and elbows, though this differs between the different portrayals. They’ve been decribed as demons, though this doesn’t necessarily reflect their function in the Aztec belief system. Because the Tzitzimimeh were female, they were also related to fertility, and as such associated with other female deities such as Tlaltecuhtli and Coatlicue. They were worshipped by midwives and women in labor. Their leader was the goddess, Itzpapalotl who ruled over Tamoanchan, the paradise where these deities resided. Being associated with the stars, when stars would not be seen in the sky during solar eclipses, this was intepreted as Tzitzimimeh attacking the sun. This caused a belief that during an eclipse, they would descend down to earth to devour humans. They were seen as both protectors of the feminine and progenitors of mankind, and as such, were powerful and dangerous, especially in periods of cosmic instability.<br/></p></blockquote>

nathanandersonart:Name: Tzitzimitl (roughly pronounced Zee Zee Meel)Area of Origin: Central Mexico; The AztecsIn Aztec Mythology, A Tzitzimi...

Save
Ass, Baby Got Back, and Beer: My friends and I like to play drinking games, and last night we made our own Drunk Jenga. We had ton of fun, so I thought I'd share: Here's what we wrote on the tiles -2 Truths and a Lie-Tell two truths and one lie, everyone mu ess which was the lie. You drink for every person correc -Accent- You must speak in an accent for the rest of the game -Arm Wrestle Arm wrestle the person to your left. Loser -Aunt Bertha Everyone gets to pinch your cheeks -Baby Got Back- Give a drink to the person with the best ass -Bar Wench-You have to fetch everyone's drinks -Blind Man Take a block with your eyes closecd -Bob Dole You can only refer to yourself in the third person for the rest of the game -Castaway-You can only talk to inanimate objects for the rest of the game -Compliments-Give a compliment to everyone in the room -Crazy Cat Lady Drink for every cat you have every owned -Crypt Keeper-Oldest person drinks -Embryo-Youngest person drinks -Dance-You have to dance for at least a minute -Date Pick someone to 'date'for the rest of the game, when you drink, they drink, and vice versa -Dick Pic- A dick is drawn on the block, you have to take a photo with it and post it on social media (or text it to your Mom/Dad) Down the Hatch Finish your drink -Edward Scissorhand-You must hold two butterknives for the rest of the game and do everything with them -Find a Hat Find a hat (or something that can be a hat) and wear it for the rest of the game -Flashback-Go to the Facebook or Instagram of someone not in the room, and 'like' one of their photos that is at least a year old -Fresh Meat - Person who most recently had sex drinks -Gary Coleman Shortest person drinks Lurch-Tallest person drinks -Gays- Gay people drink Straights -Straight people drink drink Give 3 Make someone drink 3 times -Hand Switch You can only use your non-dominant hand for the -Kitten Mittens -You must play the rest of the game wearing gloves -Make a rule You make a rule that holds for the rest of the game -Make a Speech -Make a speech for 60 seconds -Mustache (draw a mustache on the tile) -you have to hold the mustache up to your mouth for the rest of the game, including when drinking -Moving Violation Drink if you've had sex in a car, drink 2x if the car was moving -Never Have l Ever-play a 3 finger game of never have I ever -Nicknames You assign nicknames to everyone (including yourself) and people can only use those names for the rest of the game -No Guts, No Glory - You can't take any center pieces -Phone Call- Call someone, if they don't pick up, leave a message -Question Master-You are the question master for the rest of the game, if anyone answers a question you ask them, they drink -Rewind- Take a block from the top and put it back in the tower (can't be on the very bottom row) Send a sexy selfie -send a sexy selfie to anyone not in the room. No significant others, no snapchats Sharing is Caring- Everyone pours a little bit of their drink into a cup, you have to shoot the concoction Sibling Rivalry-Drink for every sibling you have Sobriety Test Remove another block while drinking Strip - Remove a piece of clothing (Jewelry, hats, shoes, etc me cou The Real Slim Shady -You have to stand for the rest of the game -Time Out Stand with your face in the corner of the room until your next turn. No talking or drinking Top Swap- Change shirts with someone T-Rex Arms-You must do everything with T-Rex arms for the rest of the game (elbows touching your sides) -Tribal Council - Everyone votes, person with the most votes finishes their drink. (Alternative: person with the most votes stops playing) -Trivia Everyone else comes up with one trivia question to ask you, if you lose you drink (if you win, the person who asked you/came up with the question drinks) Truth or Dare You pick, then everyone else comes to a consensus of what you have to do -Wasted Education-One drink for every year of education irrelevant to your current job Punishment for knocking down the tower is either chug a beer or take a shot. Funny Pictures brought to you by LolSnaps. Constant updates of the best funny pictures on the web.
Save
Be Like, Beautiful, and College: inkskinned inkskinned this is going to sound like such a Tumblr Story but I swear it's happening as i type but like. outside my dorm window these guys were playing catch and they asked their friend to join him and i heard something muttered and then the other guy was like you're in college and you don't know how to throw a football? and like up in my room i was grimacing bc here come the Gay Sissy jokes obviously but instead - the kid goes "that's okay! we'll teach you." and for the last hour they've been teaching him how to play like i've been listening and i guess you want to catch with your fingertips and use your elbows and bend your knees and think about your wrists and they're ...? actually being so kind and saying like? some of the most constructive criticism i've ever heard surrounded by things like "oh! great job on that catch" "sweet throw! now you're getting it! and my heart has never been so warm ijust wish this world like told boys.. it's okay to be like this. it's okay to be supportive and friendly and frankly nurturing to other boys. i wish boys were allowed to be gentle and sweet and kind. boys. be good, upturn the patriarchal standards and homophobia entrenched in this culture... go teach a guy how to throw a ball UPDATE: the guy who's teaching just said "BEAUTIFUL throw! sorry i didn't catch it but that was PERFECT!" and the guy who's learning is like ??i... i did it good??" and the first guy just says... in the most proud voice ever like ..."bro you did it GREAT and tbh im gonna cry there's too much Good here <p>A Tumblr Story™ via /r/wholesomememes <a href="http://ift.tt/2haW4uS">http://ift.tt/2haW4uS</a></p>

A Tumblr Story™ via /r/wholesomememes http://ift.tt/2haW4uS

Save
Be Like, Beautiful, and College: inkskinned inkskinned this is going to sound like such a Tumblr Story but I swear it's happening as i type but like. outside my dorm window these guys were playing catch and they asked their friend to join him and i heard something muttered and then the other guy was like you're in college and you don't know how to throw a football? and like up in my room i was grimacing bc here come the Gay Sissy jokes obviously but instead - the kid goes "that's okay! we'll teach you." and for the last hour they've been teaching him how to play like i've been listening and i guess you want to catch with your fingertips and use your elbows and bend your knees and think about your wrists and they're ...? actually being so kind and saying like? some of the most constructive criticism i've ever heard surrounded by things like "oh! great job on that catch" "sweet throw! now you're getting it! and my heart has never been so warm ijust wish this world like told boys.. it's okay to be like this. it's okay to be supportive and friendly and frankly nurturing to other boys. i wish boys were allowed to be gentle and sweet and kind. boys. be good, upturn the patriarchal standards and homophobia entrenched in this culture... go teach a guy how to throw a ball UPDATE: the guy who's teaching just said "BEAUTIFUL throw! sorry i didn't catch it but that was PERFECT!" and the guy who's learning is like ??i... i did it good??" and the first guy just says... in the most proud voice ever like ..."bro you did it GREAT and tbh im gonna cry there's too much Good here A Tumblr Story™

A Tumblr Story™

Save
Be Like, Beautiful, and College: inkskinned inkskinned this is going to sound like such a Tumblr Story but I swear it's happening as i type but like. outside my dorm window these guys were playing catch and they asked their friend to join him and i heard something muttered and then the other guy was like you're in college and you don't know how to throw a football? and like up in my room i was grimacing bc here come the Gay Sissy jokes obviously but instead - the kid goes "that's okay! we'll teach you." and for the last hour they've been teaching him how to play like i've been listening and i guess you want to catch with your fingertips and use your elbows and bend your knees and think about your wrists and they're ...? actually being so kind and saying like? some of the most constructive criticism i've ever heard surrounded by things like "oh! great job on that catch" "sweet throw! now you're getting it! and my heart has never been so warm ijust wish this world like told boys.. it's okay to be like this. it's okay to be supportive and friendly and frankly nurturing to other boys. i wish boys were allowed to be gentle and sweet and kind. boys. be good, upturn the patriarchal standards and homophobia entrenched in this culture... go teach a guy how to throw a ball UPDATE: the guy who's teaching just said "BEAUTIFUL throw! sorry i didn't catch it but that was PERFECT!" and the guy who's learning is like ??i... i did it good??" and the first guy just says... in the most proud voice ever like ..."bro you did it GREAT and tbh im gonna cry there's too much Good here Theres some good in this world, Mr. Frodo

Theres some good in this world, Mr. Frodo

Save
Apple, Apple Watch, and Bless Up: What cute ghosts Ladies lemme warn y'all. If yo man go to the gym. And he wear a tank top or cut off t shirt and shorts that ain't too matching just whatever because it's the gym so he see no need to be exkra - that's a good man. Keep him. On the other hand. If yo man wear: (1) black sporty athletic shorts, (2) black leg compression tights with graphics on them, (3) black sporty t shirt with matchy graphics on it to where it complement the tights, (4) black compression upper body tights that cover the elbow and show the musculature of his biceps thru the tights, (4) black Nike socks, and (5) black Nike cross trainers? With the Apple Watch, Garmin watch, or Fit Bit? HE A THOT. HE WAS BORN A THOT. HE COME FROM A LONG LINE OF THOTS STARTING WITH HIS GREAT GRANDFATHER THOTTIOUS WITHERSPOON IV WHO EMIGRATED HERE FROM JAMAICA. THIS MAN HAS THOT IN HIS BLOOD. GIVE HIM A PAPER CUT - HE BLEEDS "thot". AS A BABY BOY HE LITCHRALLY WALKED AROUND WITH A PERMANENT PUPPY FILTER ON HIS FACE. TURBO SUPER ROBOT-THOT. NOW SOME OF YALL LOVE THOTS - IN WHICH CASE GOD BLESS YALL, LOOK FOR THIS TYPE OF MAN AND HE WILL FULFILL ALL YOUR DESIRES. BUT IF U THE TYPE TO BE DRIVEN CRAZY BY MALE THOTS WHO MAKE YOUR LIFE A LIVING HELL? AND U CATCH YO MAN DRESSED LIKE THIS ON THE WAY OUT THE DOOR TO THE "gym"? WELL...NOW U KNOW...ACT ACCORDINGLY...SMASH IS JUST HERE TO WARN YALL...I OFFER NO CRITIQUES, JUST FACTS - SOME OF MY BES FRENZ HAPPEN TO BE THOTS I'M JUST POINTING OUT THE TYPE, BLESS UP 😍😂😂😂 (Reddit u-Sayonarahonto)

Ladies lemme warn y'all. If yo man go to the gym. And he wear a tank top or cut off t shirt and shorts that ain't too matching just whatever...

Save