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Be Like, Club, and Fake: a tale of trees and espionage okay story time: my professor (lovely man, married to our TA, 52", about as So studies trees. it was about three hours into our social sciences course, last lecture before exams, everyone was frazzled and exhausted, so he told us about his most exciting/in-depth research to date to cheer us up. (the few of us who actually showed up were like ok sir im sure its fascinating but in our minds we were totally like its trees what. is. exciting. about trees. You might be wondering the same thing-the acorns? the leaves? the roots? BUT NO. IMMA FUCKIN TELL YA.) ANYWAY we settle in, he had a few pictures loaded up from his field work (we were chuckling at this point.... 'hehehe field work' i giggled to my frend. its trees.) and began to tell his tale. it's long, imma warn you, but.... god. just read it theres an species of tree called the cucumber tree(Magnolia in our region there's only-280 that are registered by the government, yadda yadda yadda, my prof thought that was tragic (i know) but also strange, because when he was writing his thesis about local trees years ago, he kept coming across cucumber trees in really random places. we're talking like etc. IMPOSSIBLE because, according to tree very strictly protected by the govenment, and thus super legai to possess, transport, collect, buy or sell any part of a living or dead member of a listed species if it originates from sources. essentially, the govt takes control over g the trees and anyone who independently raises them is breaking the law (i kno) so he'd ask people "do you have a permit for these trees?" and they were like "uh no, it's just a tree someone sold me,i think it looks nice, are you gonna arrest me?" so he'd be like nah nah nah just tell me who sold it to you" eventually, months/years later, someone did, and turns out it was like this underground sort-of illegal tree dealing club (i know). so my prof went, got a bit of funding from the government, who were getting pissed at independent cucumber tree numbers, and THIS IS WHERE IT GETS INTO THE GOOD SHIT I STS he infitrates the tree trafficking organization. he buys a cucumber tree from an independent nursery, raises it for months, ensures he gets noticed by the traffickers, and then INFILTRATES it and convinces its leader to LET HIM JOIN he has to pay like a steep entrance fee, which he does (and it blows my mind that the government of my country paid money to illegal tree dealers), but then he is given full access to records and maps because they think he's one of them, not now this part blows my mind because the tree lords don't even have to try very hard to find cucumber trees because government agents MARK THE TREES AND DISTINCTLY TAG THEM SAYING THIS IS ENDANGERED DO NOT hangs out with the members so much that he figures out their hit spots". these are where the trees are relatively secluded and unguarded. (he writes all this shit and numbers down for BUT THATS NOT ENOUGH BECAUSE THE GOVT SAYS HES WASTING THEIR FUNDING IF HE DOESNT HAVE PROOF and they are willing to take LEGAL ACTION for misuse of funding (my prof doesn't have the money nore time nor power to take them to court, which would also blow his cover). so my prof literally STAKES OUT a copse of cucumber trees at a recognized wildlife reserve for. DAYS. he camps there, and watches the trees, is about to give up, he's going off an unreliable rumor from the traffickers that a harvester would be going there within the next week. finally, this guy comes and takes the cucumber tree seeds from the CLEARLY MARKED trees by the government, and my prof takes pictures (we are shown these pictures, most of us are speechless at this point). dozens of candid shots of a man my grandpa's age with a grocery store bag, garden shears, and a ladder, clipping away the illegal seeds and then going on his way so my prof has the proof, he's been undercover for months now at this point, he writes up his report, gives it to the government who is likeoh shit", helps them draft up a new LESS COMPLETELY FUCKING OBVious way of marking e wouldn't damage them further, etc.), and then never retuns to the tree traffickers. he'd given them a fake name, address, (so that way there was a full minute of stunned silence from us students at this point, during which he grew more and more nervous (again, he's a muffin) and all of us students are just like whoa. we asked him what happened to the remaining illegal cucumber trees & if he turned the tree dealers in to the government, and that is when he smiles a little bit and shows us the last few pictures. because here's the kicker... he never turned the smugglers in. he burned all the data he collected, defied the government pressuring him to turn them in, and the only reason he's not incarcerated is because his work is so prominent in certain circles now & universities love him, that there would be an uproar if he got arrested. he's like a fucking anti-hero and then he tells us (ill never forget, it's the most inspirational green-thumb thing in the world) "it may be illegal', but those who risk their liberty to-save the world- should never be reprimanded, no matter what we are all stunned. some of us are considering dendrology as a field we'd now be interested in pursuing. he clicks his slide one final time, before we leave our last lecture and, since he had an asthma attack (lil muffin) he didn't attend our exam, so and there, on the slides, the last picture? THERE HE IS. in his own backyard. with his equally lovely TA wife. both grinning GROWN. ILLEGAL. CUCUMBER TREE 72,767 Tree espionage
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Animals, Club, and Community: When you at the gay club and you notice a pack of loud straight women come in for their bachelorette party socialistexan: recovering-from-bipolar: the-archmagister: recovering-from-bipolar: the-archmagister: bookthrower: the-archmagister: rapunzel-corona-lite: gemini–king: oh my gawd this actually happens ?? girl hell yeah, I swear to god idk why they do that, they think gay people are zoo animals that strip or something  My face when I hit on a girl at a gay bar and she says she’s straight and so is her boyfriend and all their friends. That has to be extremely aggravating. Straight people like to experience gay tourism to show us queers how open minded they are. As if it didn’t occur to them we might be hanging out in gay bars to meet other gay people. My gay friend took me to a gay bar once i dont see the big issue of me going there whilst straight. Its not some exclusive club for gays only the same way we dont ha ve straight people clubs. So you don’t think there’s a reason there are gay bars? There is a reason it is for people to find like minded people but its NOT exclusive for gays only. Just like standard clubs arent only for straights i have had quite a few gay friends over the years and not one has batted an eyelid as ive joined them at a gay bar, I understand some people go there because they fetishize gay people and are looking for gay bffs but not EVERY straight person is like that. Gay bars exist because before 2003 it was illegal in most states to be gay and one of the few places where gay and trans people could go and be themselves was a fucking mob-owned bar. The cops used to kick down gay people’s doors and arrest them while they were in bed. Trans people couldn’t walk down the street without getting at least questioned by the cops. Bars were the only space for us, and even then they’d get raided by the cops. It’s why the riot that kicked off the modern gay rights movement happened at Stonewall, a bar. It’s why gay gathering places are bars instead of coffee shops or restaurants 9/10 times. (It also doesn’t hurt that drinking eases the pain of being the almost constant target of harassment and anti-gay legislation, also why alcoholism is so high in our community) This isn’t some fucking hookup culture thing, or finding “like minded people” it’s something that was forced onto and built into our culture. You’re exploiting our spaces that you forced us into to begin with. Don’t walk in here and tell us why gay bars exist when you’re this fucking ignorant.
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Africa, Children, and Crying: Deported for the 2nd time this week.... @chakabars It's so hard for Africans to travel Africa.. I'm so upset, I'm crying while I am writing this, all I want to do is see the children and make sure they are ok...I have been deported from DR Congo twice this week. I got my visa at the Congolese in Ethiopia, twice, because I was told it was ok to get it there. The government in Congo has just changed and they don't want westerners going there. So they are taking months to give out Visas in london. The goverment don't look after the impoverished children properly. They live in massive houses and never go down to the "poor" areas. When I first met the children in Ngaba they weren't being fed properly, there was nobody to pay their medical bills or school fees. I have been organising my life to make sure that they are good and I just want to move them out of terrible conditions that they live in. My heritage is Jamaican, but I wasn't raised there, I was raised in the UK, but I don't belong there, the only reason I am there is because of the slavery of my ancestors. I don't speak an African language so when I'm in Africa it's difficult to communicate. I feel like I'm an alien sometimes. When I met the children I felt like I belonged, they are orphans in their own country, I am an orphan of the planet. When my ancestors were stolen from Ghana or wherever, we didn't need a f*cking passport, now I need a passport to go back... And a £90 yellow fever which gives you a chicken Embryo injected with yellow fever. Yellow fever isn't even a problem, nor is Ebola. AIDS was put in to Africa by polio vaccines (Hilary koprowski) Some europeans created the borders for this reason, so they could divide and conquer us. They have built their whole society off the back of Africa, never apologised, don't share, still exploit Africa, they don't give back equally and we still experience racism. Many children in Africa are suffering, yes they are joyful because they are better humans than us. But the suffering is so much, no running water, no electricity, no sanitation, no food, no humanity, what can they do? more below 👇🏾
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Club, Memes, and The Other Guys: There is an island which is disputed territory between Canada and Denmark. The militaries of both countries periodically visit to remove the other guy's flag and leave a bottle of Danislh schnapps or Canadian whiskey. This is what happens when nice countries fight. Far in the Arctic North lies the barren and desolate Hans Island. The uninhabited half-square-mile island, possessing no apparent natural resources, is a bizarre sliver of territory for two countries to fight over. However, since the early 1930s, this nondescript rock has been at the center of an ongoing disagreement between Canada and Denmark. According to World Atlas, Hans Island is located in the middle of the 22-mile wide Nares Strait, which separates Greenland, an autonomous territory of Denmark, from Canada. Due to international law, all countries have the right to claim territory within 12 miles of their shore. As such, Hans Island is technically located in both Danish and Canadian waters. World Atlas notes that the island was decided to be Danish territory by the Permanent Court of International Justice of the League of Nations in 1933. However, as the League of Nations fell apart in the 1930s and was then replaced by the United Nations, the ruling on the status of Hans Island carries little to no weight. The issue of Hans Island then loss traction in popular consciousness and the concerns of the Canadian and Danish governments throughout World War II and the heights of the Cold War, only to reemerge in 1984. On that year, Denmark's minister of Greenland affairs visited the island and planted a Danish flag. At the base of the flag, he left a note saying, "Welcome to the Danish island," along with a bottle of brandy, CBC reports. And since then, the two countries have waged a not-quite-serious "whiskey war" over Hans Island. Peter Takso Jensen, the Danish Ambassador to the US, has said that "when Danish military go there, they leave a bottle of schnapps. And when [Canadian] military forces come there, they leave a bottle of Canadian Club and a sign saying, 'Welcome to Canada.'"

Far in the Arctic North lies the barren and desolate Hans Island. The uninhabited half-square-mile island, possessing no apparent natural re...

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