🔥 Popular | Latest

Why he hates Stuart Little: You got two bullets. You're in a room with Hitler, Bill Cosby, Cardi B, a massive spider and Stuart Little. Who you shooting? Your days are filled with fun and kindness as your loving parents try to nurture you in the most pleasant environment possible. One day you awaken one night to the smell of smoke, you open your eyes and begin to choke, you try to find your parents but you can't get past the toddler-proof gate in the doorway scream unable to accept your Screi doom. That's when Yesterday 10:31 pm Bill and hitler You lie down and Surely that's the only reasonable answer your father rushes in to collect you, you cling onto him for vou dear life as he takes you e and places you on the grass "IHAVE TO GO GET MUMMY!u Yesterday 10:49 pm Actually no! The correct answer is to shoot Stuart twice but I admire your conviction. He bt's the last you ever see back inside, but runs alas, of him You escape the ordeal with minor scarring, but it's nothing in mparison to the heartbreak you Today 12:40 am Can I get an explanation for that one pls sir felt that night. You have no grandparents, no aunties or uncles, no guardians whatsoever, and as a result, are forced to live in an orphanage. Today 1:11 am Sure can. Imagine this. You are four years old, and you've got a mother and father who love you very much. Type a message Send Type a message Send Iidppess IS. Day, weeks, months, years go by, and as you watch all the other orphans leave with their new foster parents, you're hopes of I'll never forget what Stuart Little took from me. having a happy life diminish more and more. One day a young Today 3:17 am couple come in, they remind you Can I change my answer डि ग कार सा much of your parents except ा they've already got a क पाCgical Be my guest son. But that's okay. You try extra hard to make an impression on this family a f your last chance at livinga shildhood, When the time has as Me so I never have to think about that again come for them to formally tell the which child orphanage matron they are going to adopt, you eagerly await your name to be announced. That's when they adopt A FUCKING RAT INSTEAD OF YOU. This destroys your morale, you give up, you run away from the orphanage, get raised by the streets as a petty pickpocket, you'll never remember what true happiness is. That's the spirit. Next time I can tell you about the time Shrek cyberbullied me if you want. Today 10:22 am Okay pls don't unmatch, this is important stuff now. But do you think it's sometimes better to ask forgiveness rather than permission? I'll never forget what Stuart Little took from me Yes Type a message Send Type a message.. Send Why he hates Stuart Little
Save
Why I hate Stuart Little.: 4:32 You got two bullets. You're in a room with Hitler, Bill Cosby, Cardi B, a massive spider and Stuart Little. Who you shooting? Wednesday 11:31 pm Bill and hitler Surely that's the only reasonable answer Wednesday 11:49 pm Actually no! The correct answer is to shoot Stuart twice butI admire your conviction. Today 1:40 am Can I get an explanation for that one pls sir Today 2:11 am Sure can. Imagine this. You are four years old, and you've got a mother and father who love you very much. Your days are filled with fun and kindness as your loving parents try to nurture you in the most pleasant environment possible. One day you awaken one to the smell of smoke, night you open your eyes and begin to choke, you try to find your parents but you can't get past the toddler-proof gate in the doorway. You lie down and scream, unable to accept your impending doom. That's when your father rushes in to collect you, you cling onto him for your dear life as he takes you outside and places you on the grass. "I HAVE TO GO GET MUMMY!" He bravely runs back inside, but alas, that's the last you ever see of him. You escape the ordeal with minor scarring, but it's nothing in comparison to the heartbreak you felt that night. You have no grandparents, no aunties or uncles, no guardians whatsoever, and as a result, are forced to live in an orphanage Day, weeks, months, years go by, and as you watch all the other orphans leave with their new foster parents, you're hopes of having a happy life diminish more and more. One day a young couple come in, they remind you much of your parents except they've already got a biological son. But that's okay. You try extra hard to make an impression on this family as this may be your last chance at living a fulfilled childhood. When the time has come for them to formally tell the orphanage matron which child they are going to adopt, you eagerly await your name to be announced. That's when they adopt A FUCKING RAT INSTEAD OF YOU. This destroys your morale, you give up, you run away from the orphanage get raised by the streets as a petty pickpocket, you'll never remember what true happiness Is I'll never forget what Stuart Little took from me Today 4:17 am Can I change my answer Be my guest Me so I never have to think about that again That's the spirit. Next time I can tell you about the time Shrek cyberbullied me if you want. Sent Type a message GIF Why I hate Stuart Little.
Save
thefingerfuckingfemalefury: asymbina: thefingerfuckingfemalefury: tharook: capnalex: kittythedragon: you going to trust the baggage crew with a dodecahedron? who knows what powers they’d awaken? Baggage crew: [throws dodecahedron into the hold] Icosahedron: 1 Wings: [fall off] “It is with great regret that I must inform you all that the flight your friends and family were on rolled a critical fumble” “… I don’t What does that mean? Is everyone on that flight dead?” “Let’s see” (Rolls again) “THE NEWS IS NOT GOOD” I’ve seen Star Trek. I know that’s a person. The airline should give them their own seat O.O Another poor person has to face that goddamn Temple near solitude : the guy next to us on this flight straight up brought a plain dodecahedron as his personal item thefingerfuckingfemalefury: asymbina: thefingerfuckingfemalefury: tharook: capnalex: kittythedragon: you going to trust the baggage crew with a dodecahedron? who knows what powers they’d awaken? Baggage crew: [throws dodecahedron into the hold] Icosahedron: 1 Wings: [fall off] “It is with great regret that I must inform you all that the flight your friends and family were on rolled a critical fumble” “… I don’t What does that mean? Is everyone on that flight dead?” “Let’s see” (Rolls again) “THE NEWS IS NOT GOOD” I’ve seen Star Trek. I know that’s a person. The airline should give them their own seat O.O Another poor person has to face that goddamn Temple near solitude
Save
“He really thought he sent me to the grave”: theyellowbrickroad Did I ever tell u guys about the time my ex legitimately thought he killed me with his dick??? theyellowbrickroad Ok so picture this l'm 18 and excited about sex, trying out some new positions. We are having sex in a pretty similar position to this And my pussy is so wet it might as well be a god damn Slip N Slide ok. And he's pounding at it fast and hard but slips out and goes to go right back in... But something is wrong. He's about to enter.... The. Wrong. Hole And my eyes widen, I go to shout "nooo0!!!!" But it's all happening too fast. He thrusts right into my unlubed asshole and I scream like murder and leap right up onto my feet. We had only been dating a couple of months at this time and there was something very important he did not know about me: I am a chronic fainter. If l'm in pain or if I see my own blood, I will pass the fuck out. I get real quiet and turn to him and say, "I am going to pass out." He doesn't know I'm serious, he thinks I'm just being emotional, and he's like "no baby come here" but as he finishes that sentence i faint and my head ping pongs off my metal bed frame, onto the wall and then finally my whole body falls on the ground. He has never seen anybody faint before and naturally assumes I'm dead. A couple minutes later I awaken to him sobbing into my naked chest. Like this motherfucker really thought he sent me to the grave with some accidental anal sex “He really thought he sent me to the grave”
Save
The. Wrong. Hole: theyellowbrickroad Did I ever tell u guys about the time my ex legitimately thought he killed me with his dick??? theyellowbrickroad Ok so picture this I'm 18 and excited about sex, trying out some new positions. We are having sex in a pretty similar position to this And my pussy is so wet it might as well be a god damn Slip N Slide ok. And he's pounding at it fast and hard but slips out and goes to go right back in... But something is wrong. He's about to enter... The. Wrong. Hole And my eyes widen, I go to shout "noooo!!!" But it's all happening too fast. He thrusts right into my unlubed asshole and I scream like murder and leap right up onto my feet We had only been dating a couple of months at this time and there was something very important he did not know about me: I am a chronic fainter. If I'm in pain or if I see my own blood, I will pass the fuck out. I get real quiet and turn to him and say, "I am going to pass out He doesn't know I'm serious, he thinks I'm just being emotional, and he's like "no baby come here" but as he finishes that sentence i faint and my head ping pongs off my metal bed frame, onto the wall and then finally my whole body falls on the ground He has never seen anybody faint before and naturally assumes I'm dead. A couple minutes later I awaken to him sobbing into my naked chest. Like this motherfucker really thought he sent me to the qrave with some accidental anal sex soorajmakhi SIMONE I AM YELLING katielittlejohn Joining tumblr was worth it just to read this. I didn't make a terrible mistake 9 years ago, after all The. Wrong. Hole
Save
Deep Dicking Disaster: theyellowbrickroad Did I ever tell u guys about the time my ex legitimately thought he killed me with his dick??'? theyellowbrickroad Ok so picture this I'm 18 and excited about sex, trying out some new positions. We are having sex in a pretty similar position to this And my pussy is so wet it might as well be a god damn Slip N Slide ok. And hes pounding at it fast and hard but slips out and goes to go right back in... But something is wrong. He's about to enter... The. Wrong. Hole. And my eyes widen, I go to shout "noooo!!!" But it's all happening too fast. He thrusts right into my unlubed asshole and I scream like murder and leap right up onto my feet. We had only been dating a couple of months at this time and there was something very important he did not know about me: I am a chronic fainter. If I'm in pain or if I see my own blood, I will pass the fuck out. I get real quiet and turn to him and say, "I am going to pass out." He doesn't know I'm serious, he thinks I'm just being emotional, and he's like "no baby come here" but as he finishes that sentence i faint and my head ping pongs off my metal bed frame, onto the wall and then finally my whole body falls on the ground He has never seen anybody faint before and naturally assumes I'm dead. A couple minutes later I awaken to him sobbing into my naked chest. Like this motherfucker really thought he sent me to the grave with some accidental anal sex soorajmakhi SIMONE I AM YELLING katielittlejohn Joining tumblr was worth it just to read this. I didn't make a terrible mistake 9 years ago, after all. silver-tongues-blog this is Shakespearean levels of drama Source: theyellowbrickroad 86,867 notes Deep Dicking Disaster
Save