Christ
Christ

Christ

Get It Together
Get It Together

Get It Together

And
And

And

instrumental
 instrumental

instrumental

math test
 math test

math test

just in case
just in case

just in case

ons
ons

ons

teste
teste

teste

ims
ims

ims

Funny
Funny

Funny

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Bailey Jay, Funny, and Target: edbx After every flight, FedEx pilots fill out a form, known as a "gripe sheet" to tell mechanics about problems with the aircraft. The mechanics fix the problem, and then document their repairs on the form Here are some actual maintenance problems submitted by the pilots (marked with a "P") and the solutions recorded (marked by an "S") by maintenance engineers, who by the way have a sense if humour P. Left inside main tyre almost needs replacement. S: Left inside main tyre almost replaced. P Test flight OK, auto-land very rough S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft P Something loose in cockpit. S: Something tightened in cockpit P Dead bugs on windshield S: Live bugs on back order P Auto pilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute descent. S: Can't reproduce problem on the ground. P. Evidence of leak on right main landing gear. S: Evidence removed. P DME volume unbelievably loud. S: DME volume set to more believable level P Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick S: That's what friction locks are for. P. IFF inoperative in OFF mode. S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode P Suspect crack in windshielod S: Suspect you're right P Number 3 engine missing S: Engine found on right wing after brief search. P Aircraft handles funny. S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right and be serious P. Target radar hums S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics. P Mouse in cockpit S: Cat installed in cockpit P Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget pounding on something with a hammer. S: Took hammer away from midget. Mechanic with a good sense of humor

Mechanic with a good sense of humor

Fire, Internet, and Money: Finallysomeonetellsitlike itis.Waytoo many people havefo orgotten how awesome NASAis iS. When NASA first started sending astronauts into space, they realized that the ball-point pen would not work at zero gravity A million dollar investment and two years of tests resulted in a pen that could write in space, upside down, on almost any surface and at temperatures ranging from below freezing to over 300"с C0 When confronted with the same problem, the Russians used a pencil In the early years of space flight, both Russians and Americans used pencils in space. Unfortunately, pencil lead is made of graphite, a highly conductive material. Snapped graphite leads and particles in zero gravity are hugely problematic, as they will get sucked into the air ventilation or electronic equipment, easily causing shorts or fires in the pure oxygen environment of a capsule After the fire in Apollo 1 which killed all the astronauts on board, NASA required a writing instrument that wasn't a fire hazard. Fisher spent over a million dollars (of his own money) creating a pressurized ball point pen, which NASA bought at $2.95 each. The Russian space program also switched over from pencils shortly after. 40 years later snide morons on the internet still snigger about it, because snide morons on the internet never know what they are talking about. you should probably go to TheMetaPicture.com srsfunny: NASA Engineers Vs. Russian Science

srsfunny: NASA Engineers Vs. Russian Science

Bad, Bitch, and Chihuahua: Highlights Always willing to make a rain Laughs at medioore jokers . I play s different instrument . Turned my recorder into a fully functional obacco po Very optimistic when hungover Friendship bracelets Can drive a stick shift I got bars Iget along with overy dog rve met and at a 73% oftro people rve moc. * Downsides Will be late nearly every day with iterally no excuse Will spook the customers with I have ADHD, but don't worry, I buy other peoples adderall Allergic to mushrooms (still willing to trip them) .I have been the cause of 13 car accidents (that I know ofy . Kind of bad at doing accents, usually just comes off as disrespecttuil Contributions Inventor Sauce Boss . A safe space and secure area for your sauces in the car. For a spill and worry free drive home . Part the Red Sea .The thick, untamed, poofy, distressed mane usually accompanied by a Mo Moses Tampons Coined the phrase "jean skirt hair mon in a floor length jean skirt Coined the term *Escobars When someone snorts a mix of cocaine and Xanax .Not recommended Education Bradford Elementary School Made it to round 1 of the 6th grade spelling bee Mullen High School 2008-2012 . Graduated 1st place in worst attendance in class of 2012 . Dia though Had an impact on the student handbook because I rode a donkey to schook of Northem Colorado 2012-201 Survived Greeley Majored in like 7 different things so I'm well rounded University of the Virgin Isiands 2015-2017 Majored in Political Science and English- Creative Whiting School blew away in Hurricane Irma School cut major Jobs I Didnt Quit In Less Than 3 Weeks Or Get Fired From Colorado Saddlery 2012-Present I make everyone feel good about themselves in the company because I ne ver know what's going on there They don't pay me anymore but I still show up from time to time . Laboniously diverse in that bitch . I programmed their Alexa to play the world's national anthems at noon ever y day - They pretty much can't fire me thered e Intenship in Haiti 2016 Partially fluent in Haitian Creole, which I speak in when dicey fools speak to me at the bar and I want them to leave 4ever Spent about a year total in Hait I had Zika, so don't worry, I won't be having children any time soono Harley Davidson-St. Thomas . I folded shits, talked to drunk people, then I sold said shits to said drunk p eople I'm very impressive at folding shirts Reason(s) I Dipped: I wanted to get off the islandl over Christmas I kept accidentally throwing piles of clothes onto the owner's chihuahua a d I felt really guilty about ito They said I quit better than any other employee they've had, that was co sort of Local Color Clothing Boutique More folding, but the clothes were more expensive) Some girl just dropped this resume off at my work