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At First Memes



                

            

        
    







            

            
            

                

                    
                

                

                    
                    
                    

                        


	

    

        

            
                
                
                
                

    

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    Driving, Funny, and Life: Jeremy Mathsen
 @JeremyMyNBC5
 my Mathsen
 "At first I was afraid, I was petrified."
 #TheOffice
 @theofficenbc
 Dream
 SUNN
 Unified Scl
 FA
 s aturday, Ja
 Sunnyside High School I
 In an
 Department of Transpor
 issued by the Departmen
 curity is entitled to a stat
 Cross Scott, who works at a local tire center, was on a test drive when he spotted a woman slumped over in her car and gave her CPR
 MKE CHRISTY/RIZONA DAILY STAR
 motot vehicle
 Local man saves woman with CPR
 he learned from TV's 'The Office
 The change is immedia
 The action came as 1
 a 2018 Tuling
 Campbell that U
 ssue licenses to every
 ment has allowed to te
 also came year
 Court rejected the sta
 "dreamers"those
 legally as
 censed
 for CPR in my life,"Scott said. phone when driving custom-
 "I had no idea what I was do- ers' vehicles, to avoid the dis.
 CPR CLASSES
 hand-only CPR 30-minute
 But Ducey insisted
 gated to issue licenses t
 ernment placed in oth
 grams, like the victims
 Gubernatorial spoke
 traction of taking a call while The Red Cross offers free
 Nothing in Cross Scott's ing.
 life prepared him for finding Scott, the lead shop tech driving
 a woman slumped over her nician at Jack Furrier Tire & The 21-year-old has worked courses To get more informa
 steering wheel, her lips blue. Auto Care on South Sixth Av-at Jack Furrier for three years. tion or find out about classes
 clined to comment
 says he just reacted. He enue and East Valencia Road, But he's been working since call 520-381-6740
 lawsuit were being ma
Would you save a dummy’s life even if it had no arms or legs? 🤔
    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                
                    Driving, Funny, and Life: Jeremy Mathsen
 @JeremyMyNBC5
 my Mathsen
 "At first I was afraid, I was petrified."
 #TheOffice
 @theofficenbc
 Dream
 SUNN
 Unified Scl
 FA
 s aturday, Ja
 Sunnyside High School I
 In an
 Department of Transpor
 issued by the Departmen
 curity is entitled to a stat
 Cross Scott, who works at a local tire center, was on a test drive when he spotted a woman slumped over in her car and gave her CPR
 MKE CHRISTY/RIZONA DAILY STAR
 motot vehicle
 Local man saves woman with CPR
 he learned from TV's 'The Office
 The change is immedia
 The action came as 1
 a 2018 Tuling
 Campbell that U
 ssue licenses to every
 ment has allowed to te
 also came year
 Court rejected the sta
 "dreamers"those
 legally as
 censed
 for CPR in my life,"Scott said. phone when driving custom-
 "I had no idea what I was do- ers' vehicles, to avoid the dis.
 CPR CLASSES
 hand-only CPR 30-minute
 But Ducey insisted
 gated to issue licenses t
 ernment placed in oth
 grams, like the victims
 Gubernatorial spoke
 traction of taking a call while The Red Cross offers free
 Nothing in Cross Scott's ing.
 life prepared him for finding Scott, the lead shop tech driving
 a woman slumped over her nician at Jack Furrier Tire & The 21-year-old has worked courses To get more informa
 steering wheel, her lips blue. Auto Care on South Sixth Av-at Jack Furrier for three years. tion or find out about classes
 clined to comment
 says he just reacted. He enue and East Valencia Road, But he's been working since call 520-381-6740
 lawsuit were being ma
Would you save a dummy’s life even if it had no arms or legs? 🤔
                    
                
            

            
                
                
Would you save a dummy’s life even if it had no arms or legs? 🤔

                
            
            
        

    



        

    

    
    
    

        

            
            
        

    

    
    

        

            




    Animals, Apparently, and Ass: captainsnoop
 i was playing pokemon blue on stream earlier
 at 350% speed and i got to thinking
 what if the reason nobody in the pokemon
 world has any good teams is because its
 considered a dick move to have a proper team
 comp
 like culturally everyone is like "haha pick the
 pokemon you want! if you're happy with three
 geodudes, thats you and your life!" and then
 you're supposed to just have a friendly battle
 with any other pokemon trainers and whatever
 pokemon they just happen to have
 like the average trainer is probably just
 walking around with a growlithe because
 that's their pet, or a hiker has three geodudes
 because the geodudes help him with hiking
 and if this pet owner and geodude hiker meet,
 you're supposed to have a friendly battle but
 nothing too serious
 now imagine the 10 year old kid that has
 six pokeballs on their belt comes up. you're
 like "haha, we'll have a friendly battle!" and
 you throw out your geodude
 and they throw out a fucking gyarados, and it
 one-shots your geodude
 and then you throw out your pidgey you
 have because the pidgey helps you navigate
 mountains because you're a hiker
 and then electricity crackles around the
 gyarados and a thunderbolt flies off of this
 giant dragon and evaporates your pidgey
 so you're down to your last pokemon. you tell
 them you're gonna send out your bulbasaur.
 the ten year old is like "oh okay in that case
 i'm gonna pull out my vulpix." like not only
 is this kid walking around with an amped-up
 super dragon, but theyve also got multiple
 pokemon specifically for making type
 advantage counter-picks?
 this kid's a fucking asshole! really, kid? what
 are you trying to prove here? this is a friendly
 match between strangers for fun! why are you
 composing real-ass competitive teams? what
 a fucker!
 jumpingjacktrash
 i mean if you look at how npc's talk about
 their pokemon, they're service animals mostly
 some of them are just pets. apparently they
 really enjoy sparring, so you let them battle
 other people's pokemon for socialization, it's
 like going to the dog park.
 hell yes i'd be mad if i took my chronic pain
 support chow-chow to the dog park and some
 asshole with four rottweilers and a husky was
 like SIC EM THUNDERNUTS even if my dog
 enjoyed the tussle at first.
 look, kid, the paras helps me weed the garden
 it's not a special forces attack paras. it's just a
 bug that eats dandelions. please calm down
 maxiesatanofficial
 This is precisely why Cooltrainers are exiled to
 the mountains
 Source: captainsnoop
A very long post about Pokémon
    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                
                    Animals, Apparently, and Ass: captainsnoop
 i was playing pokemon blue on stream earlier
 at 350% speed and i got to thinking
 what if the reason nobody in the pokemon
 world has any good teams is because its
 considered a dick move to have a proper team
 comp
 like culturally everyone is like "haha pick the
 pokemon you want! if you're happy with three
 geodudes, thats you and your life!" and then
 you're supposed to just have a friendly battle
 with any other pokemon trainers and whatever
 pokemon they just happen to have
 like the average trainer is probably just
 walking around with a growlithe because
 that's their pet, or a hiker has three geodudes
 because the geodudes help him with hiking
 and if this pet owner and geodude hiker meet,
 you're supposed to have a friendly battle but
 nothing too serious
 now imagine the 10 year old kid that has
 six pokeballs on their belt comes up. you're
 like "haha, we'll have a friendly battle!" and
 you throw out your geodude
 and they throw out a fucking gyarados, and it
 one-shots your geodude
 and then you throw out your pidgey you
 have because the pidgey helps you navigate
 mountains because you're a hiker
 and then electricity crackles around the
 gyarados and a thunderbolt flies off of this
 giant dragon and evaporates your pidgey
 so you're down to your last pokemon. you tell
 them you're gonna send out your bulbasaur.
 the ten year old is like "oh okay in that case
 i'm gonna pull out my vulpix." like not only
 is this kid walking around with an amped-up
 super dragon, but theyve also got multiple
 pokemon specifically for making type
 advantage counter-picks?
 this kid's a fucking asshole! really, kid? what
 are you trying to prove here? this is a friendly
 match between strangers for fun! why are you
 composing real-ass competitive teams? what
 a fucker!
 jumpingjacktrash
 i mean if you look at how npc's talk about
 their pokemon, they're service animals mostly
 some of them are just pets. apparently they
 really enjoy sparring, so you let them battle
 other people's pokemon for socialization, it's
 like going to the dog park.
 hell yes i'd be mad if i took my chronic pain
 support chow-chow to the dog park and some
 asshole with four rottweilers and a husky was
 like SIC EM THUNDERNUTS even if my dog
 enjoyed the tussle at first.
 look, kid, the paras helps me weed the garden
 it's not a special forces attack paras. it's just a
 bug that eats dandelions. please calm down
 maxiesatanofficial
 This is precisely why Cooltrainers are exiled to
 the mountains
 Source: captainsnoop
A very long post about Pokémon
                    
                
            

            
            
        

    



        

    

    
    
    

        

            




    Apparently, Confused, and Dad: "OH, THE PLACES YOU'LL GO..."
 / graduated High School this week. When my Dad said he had a
 present for me thought I was getting some cheesy graduation
 card. But what I received was something truly priceless
 Ob, the
 Col
 Following the ceremony he handed me a bag with a copy of "Oh the Places
 You'll Go," by Doctor Seuss inside. At first I just smiled and said that it meant a
 lot and that I loved that book.
 But then he told me 'No, open it up." ...On the first page I see a short
 paragraph written by none other than my kindergarten teacher. I start tearing up
 but I'm still confused. He tells me 'Every year, for the past 13 years, since the
 day you started kindergarten I've gotten every teacher, coach, and principal to
 write a little something about you inside this book."
 He managed to keep this book a secret for 13 years,
 and apparently everyone else in my life knew about it!
 Yes the intended effect occured... I burst out in tears
 Sitting there reading through this book there are encouraging and sweet words
 from every teacher I love and remember through my years in this small town
 My early teachers mention my "Pigtails and giggles, while my high school
 teachers mention my "Wit and sharp thinking... But they all mention my humor
 and love for life. It is astounding to receive something this moving, touching
 nostalgic, and thoughtful
 I can't express how much I love my
 Dad for this labor of love.
This dads surprise to his daughter
    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                
                    Apparently, Confused, and Dad: "OH, THE PLACES YOU'LL GO..."
 / graduated High School this week. When my Dad said he had a
 present for me thought I was getting some cheesy graduation
 card. But what I received was something truly priceless
 Ob, the
 Col
 Following the ceremony he handed me a bag with a copy of "Oh the Places
 You'll Go," by Doctor Seuss inside. At first I just smiled and said that it meant a
 lot and that I loved that book.
 But then he told me 'No, open it up." ...On the first page I see a short
 paragraph written by none other than my kindergarten teacher. I start tearing up
 but I'm still confused. He tells me 'Every year, for the past 13 years, since the
 day you started kindergarten I've gotten every teacher, coach, and principal to
 write a little something about you inside this book."
 He managed to keep this book a secret for 13 years,
 and apparently everyone else in my life knew about it!
 Yes the intended effect occured... I burst out in tears
 Sitting there reading through this book there are encouraging and sweet words
 from every teacher I love and remember through my years in this small town
 My early teachers mention my "Pigtails and giggles, while my high school
 teachers mention my "Wit and sharp thinking... But they all mention my humor
 and love for life. It is astounding to receive something this moving, touching
 nostalgic, and thoughtful
 I can't express how much I love my
 Dad for this labor of love.
This dads surprise to his daughter
                    
                
            

            
                
                
This dads surprise to his daughter

                
            
            
        

    



        

    

    
    
    

        

            




    Apparently, Confused, and Dad: "OH, THE PLACES YOU'LL GO..."
 / graduated High School this week. When my Dad said he had a
 present for me thought I was getting some cheesy graduation
 card. But what I received was something truly priceless
 Ob, the
 Col
 Following the ceremony he handed me a bag with a copy of "Oh the Places
 You'll Go," by Doctor Seuss inside. At first I just smiled and said that it meant a
 lot and that I loved that book.
 But then he told me 'No, open it up." ...On the first page I see a short
 paragraph written by none other than my kindergarten teacher. I start tearing up
 but I'm still confused. He tells me 'Every year, for the past 13 years, since the
 day you started kindergarten I've gotten every teacher, coach, and principal to
 write a little something about you inside this book."
 He managed to keep this book a secret for 13 years,
 and apparently everyone else in my life knew about it!
 Yes the intended effect occured... I burst out in tears
 Sitting there reading through this book there are encouraging and sweet words
 from every teacher I love and remember through my years in this small town
 My early teachers mention my "Pigtails and giggles, while my high school
 teachers mention my "Wit and sharp thinking... But they all mention my humor
 and love for life. It is astounding to receive something this moving, touching
 nostalgic, and thoughtful
 I can't express how much I love my
 Dad for this labor of love.
This dads surprise to his daughter via /r/wholesomememes http://bit.ly/2CwKBk1
    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                
                    Apparently, Confused, and Dad: "OH, THE PLACES YOU'LL GO..."
 / graduated High School this week. When my Dad said he had a
 present for me thought I was getting some cheesy graduation
 card. But what I received was something truly priceless
 Ob, the
 Col
 Following the ceremony he handed me a bag with a copy of "Oh the Places
 You'll Go," by Doctor Seuss inside. At first I just smiled and said that it meant a
 lot and that I loved that book.
 But then he told me 'No, open it up." ...On the first page I see a short
 paragraph written by none other than my kindergarten teacher. I start tearing up
 but I'm still confused. He tells me 'Every year, for the past 13 years, since the
 day you started kindergarten I've gotten every teacher, coach, and principal to
 write a little something about you inside this book."
 He managed to keep this book a secret for 13 years,
 and apparently everyone else in my life knew about it!
 Yes the intended effect occured... I burst out in tears
 Sitting there reading through this book there are encouraging and sweet words
 from every teacher I love and remember through my years in this small town
 My early teachers mention my "Pigtails and giggles, while my high school
 teachers mention my "Wit and sharp thinking... But they all mention my humor
 and love for life. It is astounding to receive something this moving, touching
 nostalgic, and thoughtful
 I can't express how much I love my
 Dad for this labor of love.
This dads surprise to his daughter via /r/wholesomememes http://bit.ly/2CwKBk1
                    
                
            

            
                
                
This dads surprise to his daughter via /r/wholesomememes http://bit.ly/2CwKBk1

                
            
            
        

    



        

    

    
    
    

        

            




    Apparently, Confused, and Dad: "OH, THE PLACES YOU'LL GO..."
 / graduated High School this week. When my Dad said he had a
 present for me thought I was getting some cheesy graduation
 card. But what I received was something truly priceless
 Ob, the
 Col
 Following the ceremony he handed me a bag with a copy of "Oh the Places
 You'll Go," by Doctor Seuss inside. At first I just smiled and said that it meant a
 lot and that I loved that book.
 But then he told me 'No, open it up." ...On the first page I see a short
 paragraph written by none other than my kindergarten teacher. I start tearing up
 but I'm still confused. He tells me 'Every year, for the past 13 years, since the
 day you started kindergarten I've gotten every teacher, coach, and principal to
 write a little something about you inside this book."
 He managed to keep this book a secret for 13 years,
 and apparently everyone else in my life knew about it!
 Yes the intended effect occured... I burst out in tears
 Sitting there reading through this book there are encouraging and sweet words
 from every teacher I love and remember through my years in this small town
 My early teachers mention my "Pigtails and giggles, while my high school
 teachers mention my "Wit and sharp thinking... But they all mention my humor
 and love for life. It is astounding to receive something this moving, touching
 nostalgic, and thoughtful
 I can't express how much I love my
 Dad for this labor of love.
This dads surprise to his daughter
    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                
                    Apparently, Confused, and Dad: "OH, THE PLACES YOU'LL GO..."
 / graduated High School this week. When my Dad said he had a
 present for me thought I was getting some cheesy graduation
 card. But what I received was something truly priceless
 Ob, the
 Col
 Following the ceremony he handed me a bag with a copy of "Oh the Places
 You'll Go," by Doctor Seuss inside. At first I just smiled and said that it meant a
 lot and that I loved that book.
 But then he told me 'No, open it up." ...On the first page I see a short
 paragraph written by none other than my kindergarten teacher. I start tearing up
 but I'm still confused. He tells me 'Every year, for the past 13 years, since the
 day you started kindergarten I've gotten every teacher, coach, and principal to
 write a little something about you inside this book."
 He managed to keep this book a secret for 13 years,
 and apparently everyone else in my life knew about it!
 Yes the intended effect occured... I burst out in tears
 Sitting there reading through this book there are encouraging and sweet words
 from every teacher I love and remember through my years in this small town
 My early teachers mention my "Pigtails and giggles, while my high school
 teachers mention my "Wit and sharp thinking... But they all mention my humor
 and love for life. It is astounding to receive something this moving, touching
 nostalgic, and thoughtful
 I can't express how much I love my
 Dad for this labor of love.
This dads surprise to his daughter
                    
                
            

            
                
                
This dads surprise to his daughter

                
            
            
        

    



        

    

    
    
    

        

            




    Apparently, Confused, and Dad: "OH, THE PLACES YOU'LL GO..."
 / graduated High School this week. When my Dad said he had a
 present for me thought I was getting some cheesy graduation
 card. But what I received was something truly priceless
 Ob, the
 Col
 Following the ceremony he handed me a bag with a copy of "Oh the Places
 You'll Go," by Doctor Seuss inside. At first I just smiled and said that it meant a
 lot and that I loved that book.
 But then he told me 'No, open it up." ...On the first page I see a short
 paragraph written by none other than my kindergarten teacher. I start tearing up
 but I'm still confused. He tells me 'Every year, for the past 13 years, since the
 day you started kindergarten I've gotten every teacher, coach, and principal to
 write a little something about you inside this book."
 He managed to keep this book a secret for 13 years,
 and apparently everyone else in my life knew about it!
 Yes the intended effect occured... I burst out in tears
 Sitting there reading through this book there are encouraging and sweet words
 from every teacher I love and remember through my years in this small town
 My early teachers mention my "Pigtails and giggles, while my high school
 teachers mention my "Wit and sharp thinking... But they all mention my humor
 and love for life. It is astounding to receive something this moving, touching
 nostalgic, and thoughtful
 I can't express how much I love my
 Dad for this labor of love.
Her Dad managed to keep this book a secret for 13 years
    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                
                    Apparently, Confused, and Dad: "OH, THE PLACES YOU'LL GO..."
 / graduated High School this week. When my Dad said he had a
 present for me thought I was getting some cheesy graduation
 card. But what I received was something truly priceless
 Ob, the
 Col
 Following the ceremony he handed me a bag with a copy of "Oh the Places
 You'll Go," by Doctor Seuss inside. At first I just smiled and said that it meant a
 lot and that I loved that book.
 But then he told me 'No, open it up." ...On the first page I see a short
 paragraph written by none other than my kindergarten teacher. I start tearing up
 but I'm still confused. He tells me 'Every year, for the past 13 years, since the
 day you started kindergarten I've gotten every teacher, coach, and principal to
 write a little something about you inside this book."
 He managed to keep this book a secret for 13 years,
 and apparently everyone else in my life knew about it!
 Yes the intended effect occured... I burst out in tears
 Sitting there reading through this book there are encouraging and sweet words
 from every teacher I love and remember through my years in this small town
 My early teachers mention my "Pigtails and giggles, while my high school
 teachers mention my "Wit and sharp thinking... But they all mention my humor
 and love for life. It is astounding to receive something this moving, touching
 nostalgic, and thoughtful
 I can't express how much I love my
 Dad for this labor of love.
Her Dad managed to keep this book a secret for 13 years
                    
                
            

            
                
                
Her Dad managed to keep this book a secret for 13 years

                
            
            
        

    



        

    

    
    
    

        

            



        

    

    
    
    

        

            
            
        

    

    
    

        

            



        

    

    
    
    

        

            



        

    

    
    
    

        

            



        

    

    
    
    

        

            



        

    

    
    
    

        

            



        

    

    
    
    

        

            



        

    

    
    
    

        

            
            
        

    

    
    

        

            



        

    

    
    
    

        

            



        

    

    
    
    

        

            



        

    

    
    
    

        

            



        

    

    
    
    

        

            



        

    

    
    
    

        

            



        

    

    
    
    

        

            
            
        

    

    
    

        

            



        

    

    
    
    

        

            



        

    

    
    
    

        

            




    Bad, Be Like, and Bitch: rachel
 @Rachel_Bonacoi
 i seriously need a job where i don't
 have to interact with people. I just
 asked a table if they were celebrating
 anything and when they said their
 dad's bday i brought them a bday
 table decoration and THEN they
 decide to tell me he's not coming
 cause he's datd....
I had the weirdest, longest dream last night. Some people were trying to like basically destroy the world and these monster things would pretty much just decimate every building they saw and they’d go just go one to the next and when you got killed by them you got sent to like another dimension or something but me and these three other kids found these magic like shards or something that broke off of the monsters idk and we put them together and it teleported ya back to the regular dimension like, actual earth, but everything was fixed again and so we all went to this like corner store and it was like reinforced to keep those monsters and bad guys out so we just worked there and the bad guys would come in and we had to keep fighting them. There was a lot more but it’s too hard to describe and I don’t remember a lot of it. Then the dream shifted to a spy mission and it was me and @brielarson and we had to dive into these water filled vents to get into the room but the vents were full of these fish that would like poison you and she was like ‘oh well it hurts at first but then it stops so just go’ so she would jump in the vent but then the ‘screen’ would go black and be like ‘You Died’ like in dark souls, and I was like oh my god what is this bitch doing?? And eventually after a few times I drank this weird stuff that made me immune to the poison so we got through the vents and into the room but now Brie Larson was Shakira and I forget who the ‘villain’ was but she and Shakira were seeing who could like hack something and find something through their computers the fastest except their computers were just showin GTA V so they were like lookin at license plates on cars and looking at buildings around Los Santos idk, and the villain beat shakira and I was like “:O oh no!” But then shakira was like ‘..yeah maybe you beat me but .. (and this was really dramatic here) the plants like carbohydrates ;) “ and she basically made these plants in the room grow super big and she was now Poison Ivy and (CARBOHYDRATES WHAT THE FUCK?) that’s all I remember thanks
    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                
                    Bad, Be Like, and Bitch: rachel
 @Rachel_Bonacoi
 i seriously need a job where i don't
 have to interact with people. I just
 asked a table if they were celebrating
 anything and when they said their
 dad's bday i brought them a bday
 table decoration and THEN they
 decide to tell me he's not coming
 cause he's datd....
I had the weirdest, longest dream last night. Some people were trying to like basically destroy the world and these monster things would pretty much just decimate every building they saw and they’d go just go one to the next and when you got killed by them you got sent to like another dimension or something but me and these three other kids found these magic like shards or something that broke off of the monsters idk and we put them together and it teleported ya back to the regular dimension like, actual earth, but everything was fixed again and so we all went to this like corner store and it was like reinforced to keep those monsters and bad guys out so we just worked there and the bad guys would come in and we had to keep fighting them. There was a lot more but it’s too hard to describe and I don’t remember a lot of it. Then the dream shifted to a spy mission and it was me and @brielarson and we had to dive into these water filled vents to get into the room but the vents were full of these fish that would like poison you and she was like ‘oh well it hurts at first but then it stops so just go’ so she would jump in the vent but then the ‘screen’ would go black and be like ‘You Died’ like in dark souls, and I was like oh my god what is this bitch doing?? And eventually after a few times I drank this weird stuff that made me immune to the poison so we got through the vents and into the room but now Brie Larson was Shakira and I forget who the ‘villain’ was but she and Shakira were seeing who could like hack something and find something through their computers the fastest except their computers were just showin GTA V so they were like lookin at license plates on cars and looking at buildings around Los Santos idk, and the villain beat shakira and I was like “:O oh no!” But then shakira was like ‘..yeah maybe you beat me but .. (and this was really dramatic here) the plants like carbohydrates ;) “ and she basically made these plants in the room grow super big and she was now Poison Ivy and (CARBOHYDRATES WHAT THE FUCK?) that’s all I remember thanks
                    
                
            

            
            
        

    



        

    

    
    
    

        

            



        

    

    
    
    

        

            




    Beautiful, Bored, and Head: Here's a prime example of "Men Are
 From Mars, Women Are From Venus"
 offered by an English professor from
 the University of Phoenix:
 The professor told his class one day: Today we will ex-
 periment with a new form called the tandem story
 The process is simple. Each person will pair off with the
 person sitting to his or her immediate right. As home-
 work tonight, one of you will write the first paragraph
 of a short story. You will e-mail your partner that para-
 graph and send another copy to me. The partner will
 read the first paragraph and then add another para-
 graph to the story and send it back, also sending an-
 other copy to me. The first person will then add a third
 paragraph, and so on back-and-forth.
 Remember to re-read what has been written each time
 in order to keep the story coherent. There is to be ab-
 solutely NO talking outside of the e-mails and any-
 thing you wish to say must be written in the e-mail.
 The story is over when both agree a con-
 clusion has been reached."
 The following was actually turned in by two of his
 English students:
 Rebecca and Gary
 THE STORY:
 (first paragraph by Rebecca)
 At first, Laurie couldn't decide which kind of tea
 she wanted. The chamomile, which used to be her
 favorite for lazy evenings at home, now reminded
 her too much of Carl, who once said, in happier
 times, that he liked chamomile.
 But she felt she must now, at all costs, keep her
 mind off Carl. His possessiveness was suffocating,
 and if she thought about him too much her asthma
 started acting up again. So chamomile was out of
 the
 second paragraph by Gary)
 Meanwhile, Advance Sergeant Carl Harris, leader of
 the attack squadron now in orbit over Skylon 4,
 had more important things to think about than the
 neuroses of an air-headed asthmatic bimbo named
 Laurie with whom he had spent one sweaty night
 over a year ago. "A.S. Harris to Geostation 17," he
 said into his transgalactic communicator. " Polar
 orbit established. No sign of resistance so far..." But
 before he could sign off a bluish particle beam
 flashed out of nowhere and blasted a hole through
 his ship's cargo bay. The jolt from the direct hit sent
 him flying out of his seat and across the ####pit.
 (Rebecca)
 He bumped his head and died almost immediately,
 but not before he felt one last pang of regret for
 psychically brutalizing the one woman who had
 ever had feelings for him. Soon afterwards, Earth
 stopped its pointless hostilities towards the peace
 ful farmers of Skylon 4. "Congress Passes Law Per-
 manently Abolishing War and Space Travel," Laurie
 read in her newspaper one morning. The news si-
 multaneously excited her and bored her. She
 stared out the window, dreaming of her youth,
 when the days had passed unhurriedly and care-
 free, with no newspaper to read, no television to
 distract her from her sense of innocent wonder at
 all the beautiful things around
 her. "Why must one
 lose one's innocence to become a woman?" she
 pondered wistfully
 Gary)
 Little did she know, but she had less than 10 sec-
 onds to live. Thousands of miles above the city, the
 Anu'udrian mothership launched the first of its
 lithium fusion missiles. The dimwitted wimpy
 peaceniks who pushed the Unilateral Aerospace
 disarmament Treaty through the congress had left
 Earth a defenseless target for the hostile alien em-
 pires who were determined to destroy the human
 race. Within two hours after the passage of the
 treaty the Anu'udrian ships were on course for
 Earth, carrying enough firepower to pulverize the
 With no one to stop them, they swiftly initiated
 their diabolical plan. The lithium fusion missile en-
 tered the atmosphere unimpeded. The President,
 in his top-secret mobile submarine headquarters
 on the ocean floor off the coast of Guam, felt the
 inconceivably massive explosion, which vaporized
 poor, stupid Laurie.
 (Rebecca)
 This is absurd. I refuse to continue this mockery of
 literature. My writing partner is a violent, chauvin-
 istic semi-literate adolescent.
 Gary)
 Yeah? Well, my writing partner is a self-centered
 tedious neurotic whose attempts at writing are the
 literary equivalent of Valium. Oh, shall I have
 chamomile tea? Or shall I have some other sort of
 F-KING TEA??? Oh no, what am I to do? I'm such an
 air headed bimbo who reads too many Danielle
 Steele novels!"
 Gary)
 B*tch.
 (Rebecca)
 F K YOU-YOU NEANDERTHALI
 In your dreams, Ho. Go drink some tea.
 A+
 Ireally liked this one.
epicjohndoe:

A Very Good Example Of ‘Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus’
    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                
                    Beautiful, Bored, and Head: Here's a prime example of "Men Are
 From Mars, Women Are From Venus"
 offered by an English professor from
 the University of Phoenix:
 The professor told his class one day: Today we will ex-
 periment with a new form called the tandem story
 The process is simple. Each person will pair off with the
 person sitting to his or her immediate right. As home-
 work tonight, one of you will write the first paragraph
 of a short story. You will e-mail your partner that para-
 graph and send another copy to me. The partner will
 read the first paragraph and then add another para-
 graph to the story and send it back, also sending an-
 other copy to me. The first person will then add a third
 paragraph, and so on back-and-forth.
 Remember to re-read what has been written each time
 in order to keep the story coherent. There is to be ab-
 solutely NO talking outside of the e-mails and any-
 thing you wish to say must be written in the e-mail.
 The story is over when both agree a con-
 clusion has been reached."
 The following was actually turned in by two of his
 English students:
 Rebecca and Gary
 THE STORY:
 (first paragraph by Rebecca)
 At first, Laurie couldn't decide which kind of tea
 she wanted. The chamomile, which used to be her
 favorite for lazy evenings at home, now reminded
 her too much of Carl, who once said, in happier
 times, that he liked chamomile.
 But she felt she must now, at all costs, keep her
 mind off Carl. His possessiveness was suffocating,
 and if she thought about him too much her asthma
 started acting up again. So chamomile was out of
 the
 second paragraph by Gary)
 Meanwhile, Advance Sergeant Carl Harris, leader of
 the attack squadron now in orbit over Skylon 4,
 had more important things to think about than the
 neuroses of an air-headed asthmatic bimbo named
 Laurie with whom he had spent one sweaty night
 over a year ago. "A.S. Harris to Geostation 17," he
 said into his transgalactic communicator. " Polar
 orbit established. No sign of resistance so far..." But
 before he could sign off a bluish particle beam
 flashed out of nowhere and blasted a hole through
 his ship's cargo bay. The jolt from the direct hit sent
 him flying out of his seat and across the ####pit.
 (Rebecca)
 He bumped his head and died almost immediately,
 but not before he felt one last pang of regret for
 psychically brutalizing the one woman who had
 ever had feelings for him. Soon afterwards, Earth
 stopped its pointless hostilities towards the peace
 ful farmers of Skylon 4. "Congress Passes Law Per-
 manently Abolishing War and Space Travel," Laurie
 read in her newspaper one morning. The news si-
 multaneously excited her and bored her. She
 stared out the window, dreaming of her youth,
 when the days had passed unhurriedly and care-
 free, with no newspaper to read, no television to
 distract her from her sense of innocent wonder at
 all the beautiful things around
 her. "Why must one
 lose one's innocence to become a woman?" she
 pondered wistfully
 Gary)
 Little did she know, but she had less than 10 sec-
 onds to live. Thousands of miles above the city, the
 Anu'udrian mothership launched the first of its
 lithium fusion missiles. The dimwitted wimpy
 peaceniks who pushed the Unilateral Aerospace
 disarmament Treaty through the congress had left
 Earth a defenseless target for the hostile alien em-
 pires who were determined to destroy the human
 race. Within two hours after the passage of the
 treaty the Anu'udrian ships were on course for
 Earth, carrying enough firepower to pulverize the
 With no one to stop them, they swiftly initiated
 their diabolical plan. The lithium fusion missile en-
 tered the atmosphere unimpeded. The President,
 in his top-secret mobile submarine headquarters
 on the ocean floor off the coast of Guam, felt the
 inconceivably massive explosion, which vaporized
 poor, stupid Laurie.
 (Rebecca)
 This is absurd. I refuse to continue this mockery of
 literature. My writing partner is a violent, chauvin-
 istic semi-literate adolescent.
 Gary)
 Yeah? Well, my writing partner is a self-centered
 tedious neurotic whose attempts at writing are the
 literary equivalent of Valium. Oh, shall I have
 chamomile tea? Or shall I have some other sort of
 F-KING TEA??? Oh no, what am I to do? I'm such an
 air headed bimbo who reads too many Danielle
 Steele novels!"
 Gary)
 B*tch.
 (Rebecca)
 F K YOU-YOU NEANDERTHALI
 In your dreams, Ho. Go drink some tea.
 A+
 Ireally liked this one.
epicjohndoe:

A Very Good Example Of ‘Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus’
                    
                
            

            
            
        

    



        

    

    
    
    

        

            



        

    

    
    
    

        

            
            
        

    

    
    

        

            




    Fucking, Funny, and Shit: Anonymous said:
 Just go kill yourself
 Okay.
rouge-fox-expanded:
all-about-drarry:

the-evil-anon1:

tolazytomakeagoodname:

nightmare-vincent-cosplay:

jacksepticeye-imagines:

ishipallofthethings:

lovetaylorsince1989:

serenitymayu:

pasta-corps:

galaxywarrioress1234:

jennstarkid:

About a week ago I posted this.
I’ve been getting horrible messages like this in my ask for months, including:

and my personal favorite
After getting the message saying “Just go kill yourself” I was completely done dealing with this person’s horrible messages and replied with just an “Okay.” and logged off tumblr.
About a week later I logged back on with 17 messages in my ask, most of them from the anon. I scrolled down and at first when I logged off, the anon messaged me things like
I scrolled up more and all of a sudden they started sending me more and more messages like
This was extremely surprising to me. I thought “After all those horrible messages you sent to me for MONTHS about hating me and wanting me dead, you say ‘sorry’ and that you ‘cant be responsible for someone’s suicide’?”
But I guess the lesson goes like this:
DONT TELL ANYONE TO KILL THEMSELVES UNLESS YOU ARE PREPARED FOR WHAT MIGHT ACTUALLY HAPPEN


DON’T TELL ANYONE TO KILL THEMSELVES EVER.

THIS POST IS SO IMPORTANT I WANT EVERYONE ON TUMBLR IN THE WORLD TO SEE IT

This needs to be reblogged. I couldn’t scroll past this if I tried, I got a message like that but not for me, it told me to my friend to kill them self, I was livid! I didn’t answer it because a message like that doesn’t deserve an answer but I don’t see what is so funny about telling someone to kill them selves! I really don’t! It’s sick and it’s wrong. This person though, I take my hat off to you. You taught that bully a lesson.

this.

This will always be number one on the list of things that aren’t okay

Ho-ly shit.

I’ll never not reblog this

If you dare scroll without reblogging this you have no soul…….. i mean you do but reblogging this wont ruin your blog……. please just spread the word.

Please people don’t send anon hate your just hurting yourselves…


Don’t tell anyone to kill themselves. EVER.   

A PSA we shouldn’t need, but we do…because some people are fucking horrible

    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                
                    Fucking, Funny, and Shit: Anonymous said:
 Just go kill yourself
 Okay.
rouge-fox-expanded:
all-about-drarry:

the-evil-anon1:

tolazytomakeagoodname:

nightmare-vincent-cosplay:

jacksepticeye-imagines:

ishipallofthethings:

lovetaylorsince1989:

serenitymayu:

pasta-corps:

galaxywarrioress1234:

jennstarkid:

About a week ago I posted this.
I’ve been getting horrible messages like this in my ask for months, including:

and my personal favorite
After getting the message saying “Just go kill yourself” I was completely done dealing with this person’s horrible messages and replied with just an “Okay.” and logged off tumblr.
About a week later I logged back on with 17 messages in my ask, most of them from the anon. I scrolled down and at first when I logged off, the anon messaged me things like
I scrolled up more and all of a sudden they started sending me more and more messages like
This was extremely surprising to me. I thought “After all those horrible messages you sent to me for MONTHS about hating me and wanting me dead, you say ‘sorry’ and that you ‘cant be responsible for someone’s suicide’?”
But I guess the lesson goes like this:
DONT TELL ANYONE TO KILL THEMSELVES UNLESS YOU ARE PREPARED FOR WHAT MIGHT ACTUALLY HAPPEN


DON’T TELL ANYONE TO KILL THEMSELVES EVER.

THIS POST IS SO IMPORTANT I WANT EVERYONE ON TUMBLR IN THE WORLD TO SEE IT

This needs to be reblogged. I couldn’t scroll past this if I tried, I got a message like that but not for me, it told me to my friend to kill them self, I was livid! I didn’t answer it because a message like that doesn’t deserve an answer but I don’t see what is so funny about telling someone to kill them selves! I really don’t! It’s sick and it’s wrong. This person though, I take my hat off to you. You taught that bully a lesson.

this.

This will always be number one on the list of things that aren’t okay

Ho-ly shit.

I’ll never not reblog this

If you dare scroll without reblogging this you have no soul…….. i mean you do but reblogging this wont ruin your blog……. please just spread the word.

Please people don’t send anon hate your just hurting yourselves…


Don’t tell anyone to kill themselves. EVER.   

A PSA we shouldn’t need, but we do…because some people are fucking horrible

                    
                
            

            
            
        

    



        

    

    
    
    

        

            



        

    

    
    
    

        

            



        

    

    
    
    

        

            




    Bad, Creepy, and Cute: i want! to sit! in a lap! and i want! to
 do they have to be attached
 I love your need to make everything cute
 sounds creepy I love that
 Well I's funny how you can make
 everything sound creepy/wrong but the
 things that you like
 Make this creepy:
 Skittles are very good
 it depends where you put them
 you challenged a god
 Make this creepy:
 An instrumental cover of a well-known song
 plays from another room. It starts slow
 rhythm inconsistent, like a child struggling
 with a hand-played music box. It is the
 unmistakable tune of Despacito, played on an
 old circus organ. You open your eyes slowly
 and squint up at a single, flickering bulb. Your
 head aches. How did you get here?
 The music throbs against the bathroom's
 crumbling tile walls. You are standing in
 front of a ceramic sink, the bowl chipped and
 yellowed with age. You have no memory of
 this place. The music speeds up. Your hands
 are stained with something dark and rotting.
 A strange taste lingers in your mouth. How
 did you get here?
 You lean towards the mirror. Your face is
 haggard, your eyes bloodshot.
 Your reflection leans forward and
 whispers, "Despacito
 can you do
 llike wearing glasses
 Most people have never seen me without my
 glasses. I wear them all the time. All day, at
 home, in bed, even in the bath sometimes.
 I pretty much only take them off to shower
 or sleep. And even then I keep them within
 arm's reach.
 Igot my first pair in middle school, and it
 changed my life. I've switched styles plenty
 of times over the years, Right now I own
 three pairs, not including my backups and
 prescription sunglasses. I'm always paranoid
 about losing or breaking the ones I'm wearing.
 Most people would be surprised to find out
 my eyesight isn't even that bad. ReallyI only
 need corrective lenses for distance. I could
 manage most things without them. But I
 like wearing glasses
 Not that it can't be frustrating at times
 Eyeglasses are always getting smudged or
 dirty. I have to clean mine constantly. They're
 fragile, and can be scratched or bent. They
 fall off, go askew, steam up, and collect
 water drops when it rains. You have to keep a
 protective case on hand, and a soft cloth, and
 glass cleaner. They can be a lot of trouble.
 Honestly, contact lenses would be so much
 more convenient
 I did try to switch, once. I bought a box of
 those new disposable contacts. And it was
 great at first-just put them on and go. It was
 freeing. My eyes adjusted quickly-no itching
 or redness. It didn't even feel that strange
 not having something on my face for the
 first time in years.
 I really thought they were going to work. They
 didn't, in the end. Maybe it's something about
 the material, the difference between actual
 glass versus whatever polymer the contacts
 were made from. Maybe it has to do with
 lens shape, or distance. Maybe it's even just
 psychological-something to do with the fact
 that glasses just feel more protective. I had
 hoped now that I was older, perhaps I wouldn't
 need protection. Perhaps they wouldn't
 come after me the way they did when I was
 a child. I was wrong.
 Glasses stop the dark things from moving
 you see. If I don't wear them, I start seeing the
 things again. Out of the corners of my eyes.
 In the shadows of the room. Glasses are the
 only thing I've found that keeps them still.
 And that's important. Because you see,
 the things aren't just moving-theyre
 moving closer
 Gaud it's past 1 am please
 Sometimes I just think Gaud is moved by
 the full and pure force of f
 people's minds
 ucking up other
 why the flip do u think i spend so much
 time on this hellsite
 57,107 notes
They challenged a god. They will pay for their hubris
    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                
                    Bad, Creepy, and Cute: i want! to sit! in a lap! and i want! to
 do they have to be attached
 I love your need to make everything cute
 sounds creepy I love that
 Well I's funny how you can make
 everything sound creepy/wrong but the
 things that you like
 Make this creepy:
 Skittles are very good
 it depends where you put them
 you challenged a god
 Make this creepy:
 An instrumental cover of a well-known song
 plays from another room. It starts slow
 rhythm inconsistent, like a child struggling
 with a hand-played music box. It is the
 unmistakable tune of Despacito, played on an
 old circus organ. You open your eyes slowly
 and squint up at a single, flickering bulb. Your
 head aches. How did you get here?
 The music throbs against the bathroom's
 crumbling tile walls. You are standing in
 front of a ceramic sink, the bowl chipped and
 yellowed with age. You have no memory of
 this place. The music speeds up. Your hands
 are stained with something dark and rotting.
 A strange taste lingers in your mouth. How
 did you get here?
 You lean towards the mirror. Your face is
 haggard, your eyes bloodshot.
 Your reflection leans forward and
 whispers, "Despacito
 can you do
 llike wearing glasses
 Most people have never seen me without my
 glasses. I wear them all the time. All day, at
 home, in bed, even in the bath sometimes.
 I pretty much only take them off to shower
 or sleep. And even then I keep them within
 arm's reach.
 Igot my first pair in middle school, and it
 changed my life. I've switched styles plenty
 of times over the years, Right now I own
 three pairs, not including my backups and
 prescription sunglasses. I'm always paranoid
 about losing or breaking the ones I'm wearing.
 Most people would be surprised to find out
 my eyesight isn't even that bad. ReallyI only
 need corrective lenses for distance. I could
 manage most things without them. But I
 like wearing glasses
 Not that it can't be frustrating at times
 Eyeglasses are always getting smudged or
 dirty. I have to clean mine constantly. They're
 fragile, and can be scratched or bent. They
 fall off, go askew, steam up, and collect
 water drops when it rains. You have to keep a
 protective case on hand, and a soft cloth, and
 glass cleaner. They can be a lot of trouble.
 Honestly, contact lenses would be so much
 more convenient
 I did try to switch, once. I bought a box of
 those new disposable contacts. And it was
 great at first-just put them on and go. It was
 freeing. My eyes adjusted quickly-no itching
 or redness. It didn't even feel that strange
 not having something on my face for the
 first time in years.
 I really thought they were going to work. They
 didn't, in the end. Maybe it's something about
 the material, the difference between actual
 glass versus whatever polymer the contacts
 were made from. Maybe it has to do with
 lens shape, or distance. Maybe it's even just
 psychological-something to do with the fact
 that glasses just feel more protective. I had
 hoped now that I was older, perhaps I wouldn't
 need protection. Perhaps they wouldn't
 come after me the way they did when I was
 a child. I was wrong.
 Glasses stop the dark things from moving
 you see. If I don't wear them, I start seeing the
 things again. Out of the corners of my eyes.
 In the shadows of the room. Glasses are the
 only thing I've found that keeps them still.
 And that's important. Because you see,
 the things aren't just moving-theyre
 moving closer
 Gaud it's past 1 am please
 Sometimes I just think Gaud is moved by
 the full and pure force of f
 people's minds
 ucking up other
 why the flip do u think i spend so much
 time on this hellsite
 57,107 notes
They challenged a god. They will pay for their hubris
                    
                
            

            
                
                
They challenged a god. They will pay for their hubris

                
            
            
        

    



        

    

    
    
    

        

            



        

    

    
    
    

        

            



        

    

    
    
    

        

            
            
        

    

    
    

        

            




    Love, French, and At First Sight: The progression of Barley the Frenchie and his sister Beesley. The two French meatballs
    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                
                    Love, French, and At First Sight: The progression of Barley the Frenchie and his sister Beesley. The two French meatballs
                    
                
            

            
                
                
The progression of Barley the Frenchie and his sister Beesley. The two French meatballs

                
            
            
        

    



        

    

    
    
    

        

            



        

    

    
    
    

        

            



        

    

    


    
	

        
	

    





                    

                

                

                    




    

        

            
  

        

        
    






                

                
                    
                        

                    
                
            

        

        

            
    
    
    

        

            

                
                    
                    
                    
                    

    

        Memeology
        

            Memeology
        

    

    

         
Memeology

    



                
                    
                    
                    
                    

    

        Hating
        

            Hating
        

    

    

         
Hating

    



                
                    
                    
                    
                    

    

        Cant
        

            Cant
        

    

    

         
Cant

    



                
                    
                    
                    
                    

    

        And
        

            And
        

    

    

         
And

    



                
                    
                    
                    
                    

    

        Sight
        

            Sight
        

    

    

         
Sight

    



                
                    
                    
                    
                    

    

        Relaters
        

            Relaters
        

    

    

         
Relaters

    



                
                    
                    
                    
                    

    

        Relatables
        

            Relatables
        

    

    

         
Relatables

    



                
                    
                    
                    
                    

    

        Takeing
        

            Takeing
        

    

    

         
Takeing

    



                
                    
                    
                    
                    

    

         hates
        

             hates
        

    

    

         
 hates

    



                
                    
                    
                    
                    

    

         thoughts
        

             thoughts
        

    

    

         
 thoughts

    



                
                    
                    
                    
                    

    

        firstly
        

            firstly
        

    

    

         
firstly

    



                
                    
                    
                    
                    

    

        hateful
        

            hateful
        

    

    

         
hateful

    



                
                    
                    
                    
                    

    

        i thought
        

            i thought
        

    

    

         
i thought

    



                
                    
                    
                    
                    

    

        this
        

            this
        

    

    

         
this

    



                
                    
                    
                    
                    

    

        first
        

            first
        

    

    

         
first

    



                
                    
                    
                    
                    

    

        Thought
        

            Thought
        

    

    

         
Thought

    



                
                    
                    
                    
                    

    

        At First Sight
        

            At First Sight
        

    

    

         
At First Sight

    



                
                    
                    
                    
                    

    

        Grumpy Cat
        

            Grumpy Cat
        

    

    

         
Grumpy Cat