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Apple, Bless Up, and Drake: Three weeks ago she was at the pound - now she's transformed to Action Pup.! So u know how u get in the car and Apple Music just wil out and play whatever well on the way to the gym this mernin I hop in the whip on this cold a$$ 12 degree day and my speakers start blasting Miguel, Banana Clip. FAM! I don’t even remember downloading this album! But this joint HARD! 😂 I felt like Miguel lil 5 foot a$$ was next to me serenading me, singing in the passenger seat egging me on go hard at the gym! I was Iike wow this adorable lil munchkin go hard! And then it dawned on me 🤔...5 footers really be going the hardest! 🐛 Kevin Hart - 5 foot. Tom cruise - 5 foot. Shiggy the comedian who invented the drake Kiki dance (DRAaAaAaAake! 😂) - 5 foot. They out there ... ENTERTAINING. Ladies don’t shleep. I know most of u pretty tings got a 6-4 cutoff and I don’t blame y’all! But maybe what u need is a 5 footer who really gon do the most! Serenade u in the shower! Make u laugh! “Smash I’m not tryina hear that, my son in fifth grade already taller than that I can’t bring a man into my house who reach to my son’s chest” BB 👏 GIRL 👏 DO 👏 WHAT 👏 U 👏 FEEL 👏. And by the way, for all you men who only swipe right on short women may I ask you to consider finding yourself a tall drink of water in 2019. I used to talk to a volleyball player who was 6-1 and let me tell you fam she was a sight to behold. Legs so long you could slide down them h0es like a fire pole. Cheeks like beach balls. She was a whole lotta woman! A foot long sub for the price of a six inch famalam! I am telling you, you might not think it’s your thing but u might hecc around and fall in love. “But smash, I’m 5-11 which is really a lie I’m actually 5-7 and three quarter but I say I’m 5-11 - if she 6-1 then in heels she finna be 6-4 fam I’m gon look like her handsome middle school son.” Well bish embrace that! Find you a Mama! Maybe your mama was wiling out when you were growing up and u need a woman to HECC around and spank u. Maybe eem spike you! 🏐 Maybe that’s what you been missing all your life. “smash you really Wilding today.” INDEEDY! Smash simply raising this hypothesis for ya consideration lmao BLESS UP 😍😂😂 (Slide 2: @tatertot_thecorgi_)
Crying, Head, and Kkk: It's just a tattoo," he says, when the silence goes on so long that we have nearly fallen over the edge of it into a pit of black nothingness. "It's not as if I came home and said I'd got someone pregnant. It seems to me, unhinged by shock, that this might have been the better option. His father says, "Where?" "On my arm," he says, and touches his bicep through his shirt. His lovely shoulder. For three days, I can't speak to my son. I can hardly bear to look at him. I decide this is rational. The last thing we need, I think, is an explosion of white-hot words that In any case, I'm not even sure what it is I want to say. In my mind's eye I stand there, a bitter old woman with pursed lips wringing my black-gloved hands. He's done the one thing that I've said for years, please d upset me if you did this. And now it's happened. So there's nothing left to say everyone carries around for the rest of their lives, e ngraved on their hearts. on't do this. It would really So I cry instead. I have a lump in my throat that stops me from eating. I feel as if someone has died. I keep thinking of his skin, his precious skin, inked like a pig carcasS My husband asks, "Have you seen it yet?" I shake my head. Like a child, I am hoping that if I keep my eyes tightly shut the whole thing will disappear It's his body," he says gently. "His choice. But what if he wants to be a lawyer? A lawyer? "Or an accountant." He'll be wearing a suit. No one will ever know. And he doesn't want to be a I know. I know tifalockharts this article about some woman's 21 y/o son coming home from school w/ a tattoo is THE funniest thing i have seen today tifalockharts On day three, still in a fog of misery, I say to him, "Shall we talk?" We sit down with cups of coffee. I open my mouth to speak and end up crying instead. I say, "You couldn't have done anything to hurt me more." job I don't even want. I say, "But you're not. You're different. I will never look at you in the same way again. It's a visceral feeling. Maybe because I'm your mother All those years of looking after your body-taking you to the dentist and making you drink milk and worrying about green leafy vegetables and sunscreen and cancer from mobile phones. And then you let some stranger inject ink under your skin. To me, it seems like self-mutilation. If you'd lost your arm in a car accident, I would have understood. I would have done everything to make you feel better But this -this is desecration. And I hate it." 'M SHRIEKING regretityet You guys. gutmeats The stars are not wanted now: put out every one; pack up the moon and dismantle the sun. What the fuck mustlearntoadult SOMEONE LINK THE ARTICLE wepon a classi doctorangelpenguin As I was reading this I kept waiting for the tattoo to be revealed as like a nazi symbol or some racist shit like for the kkk of something but nope..... She was just THAT hurt by ink lilaccoloursplash You left out the BEST part-stand, a lone tyrannosaurus, bellowing at a world i don't understand." spontaneoustornadoes This woman's writing skills holy fuck Source: elsas #give them to me #that stars moon sun quote? raw as F U C K 49,991 notes I thought it was satire. It wasnt.
Jealous, Love, and Parents: What did you do as a child that you hid from your parents? X Frances Emerson Updated Nov 3, 2017 Is it okay if I tell a story about something my kids hid from me? My oldest son told me this story years afterwards. He said that he and his brothers would go out in the back yard and throw knives at each other to practice catching them, like they'd seen in video games. (T'd seen nicks in my knives, but had assumed, with annoyance, that they'd used them bushwhacking.) But there's a little more to this story. After high school, he went to Alaska to work in the fisheries for the summer. When he wasn't working, he'd go exploring in the woods. There was a couple who had broken up who also worked there. The girl had taken a shine to my son, and although my son did not reciprocate, her ex was insanely jealous. One day, my son was out trekking in the woods and sensed someone following him. He turned around, and there was the angry boyfriend, who immediatelyy threw a knife at him. Reacting instinctively, my son caught it. As a mother, hearing this story elicited two responses. First, I was absolutely stunned that my boys would engage in such a dangerous activity. Secondly, I sure would have liked to have seen that fellow's face warriormale: Never stop training! Never stop fighting! Always love Manliness! Always seek Manliness! Train to fight! WarriorMale

warriormale: Never stop training! Never stop fighting! Always love Manliness! Always seek Manliness! Train to fight! WarriorMale

Bad, Crazy, and Doug: Area Man Watches Always Sunny' in the Worst Possible Way by Julia Ryan It was revealed early last week through a conversation with a casual acquaintance that area man Doug Sherman watches It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, but in the worst way possible. Casual acquaintance and generally good person Debbie Barbo commented, "When I met Doug, he seemed like an okay guy. But as soon as he started talking about It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, a red light immediately went off in my head. My first thought was, "Uh-oh, is this guy actually the worst?' and the answer really depends on why he likes the show." She then explained her reasoning, saying, "Listen, I love Always Sunny as much as the next guy, I have the Pepe Silvia speech completely memorized and I will recite it, even when my friends and family beg me to stop. But like... If he even mentions 'The D.E.N.N.I.S. System, it's all over." According to sources close to Doug, he frequently talks about how "[the writers] aren't afraid to do anything, dude. They'll do anything, it's crazy. It's like, they'll just show them doing terrible shit, like they'll kill a hooker and it's totally whatever because they're just rally bad people. It's sick!!" Those close to Doug noted that, while they need to skip the really terrible episodes of Always Sunny, Doug doesn't need to. In fact, Doug almost exclusively watches 'Mac is a Serial Killer,' and Mac Fights Gay Marriage' the most cringe inducing episodes of the series. "Dude, it's funny because, hes like so gay. No, dude that's not what I meant, I'm just saying like... Whatever. No, its like, he keeps harassing that girl because she used to be a dude and it's funny because he's like gay. It's hilarious!" Additionally, Doug's only criticism of the show is that he doesn't like Dee because he thinks shes "naggy." Doug's mother commented, "I love Always Sunny and I love my son. I've been a fan for 12 years and 22 years respectively. But if I have to listen to my son talk about how Always Sunny fights back against PC culture, I'm gonna kill him and then myseli in end us both, I swear to god." aur5: my colleges satire newspaper had an article about iasip and its so… Apt