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Click, Fail, and Fucking: 22+ Tumblr Posts To Help You Laugh Your Troubles Away irrevocably-delicious Irrevocably-delicious @india draws Anyone who's worked in retail has probably participated in this thing I call "circle talk" and it is by far one the most exhausting and irritating parts of my job. 12-05 PM Jan 19, 2019- Twitter Web App Circle talk is when a customer asks you a question, but when you answer it, they continue to stare at you blankly. So you repeat your answer over and over, slightly rephrasing it until it permeates their brain. "How big does this cactus grow?" "It'll get quite large, but it's very slow growing, so you won't see much of a difference until almost 10 years" "Oh my wife has one that's like half metre" "Yes that must be quite old" "So they can get that big?" "Yes but not for a long time" "about 10 years?" "YES" 12:05 PM Jan 19, 2019 Twitter Web App he Cackes Grows slo Oh right& he Cockuss slow growino The Slow growing Cachs Small Cactsou will not grouw og quich Some retail complaints from twitter this morning. I don't think anyone can fully comprehend how stupid humans are until they work a retail or hospitality job. starfire003 I'd like to add on the people who ask a question, get an answer they don't like and ask the same question in a different way to get the response they want. corisanna I get stuff like this often enough at work, but that last one? There is one customer we have that does that so frequently and for so long (personal record with me is goddamn FORTY MINUTES of trying to get the answer she wanted) that we call her Circle Lady when she isn't present. Then there are the ones who do this, fail, and try it again with the same employees the next day greatfay Me: "For the drink, it's [x amount]) Customer: "I saw a sign that I get a free drink?" Me: "For signing up for our rewards program, yes:" Customer: "Oh... I don't have one of those Me: "Well if you sign up, you can get the free drink! :) Customer: "Eh don't want to sign up" Me: " " Customer: "I hate getting all those emails" Me: "Oh, well you can opt out of emails, I can show you how:) Customer: "No thanks, I don't want an account" Me: "Okay... well the drink will be [x amount]: Customer: "I thought it was free?" Me: ")" Me: "It's free if you sign up for our rewards program:)" Customer: "I don't want to sign up" Me: "Then the drink isn't free :)" Customer: "You can't just give me the drink?" Me: "No, I can't unfortunately:) Customer: "Why not? It's only [x amount] Me: "if that's not a lot of money to you, why don't you just pay for it? : Customer: "This is shit customer service" Me: ")" Customer: "This is highway robbery, squeezing every dime out of people, you should be ashamed of yourself-" Me: "I don't control the prices, I'm just a cashier:) Customer: "-making a fucking fuss over a damn drink and it's not even a large- Me: "That's not my decision, I'm just a cashier:) Customer:"-and you bet I won't be coming back here again Me: "How unfortunate :)" thekeybladeninja I can feel the) deep in my soul 74,441 notes Click to see full Sarcasm Goal 22+ Tumblr Posts To Help You Laugh Your Troubles Away #funny #memes #tumblr #funnymemes
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Animals, Desperate, and Dogs: Clifford the Big Red Dog by Sandara OH MY GOD Can we have a Clifford live action movie? Not a kids movie either Like, Emily Elizabeth's parents are working for a government agency developing a super soldier serum. None of their testing is working and they start testing the serum on larger mammals in hopes of seeing better results. They inject a variety of animals, including a dog. Nothing. They are desperate and on the verge of having their project shut down when they notice one of the test dogs is pregnant. It gives birth and they bring one of the puppies home for their daughter To their shock, the puppy they brought home starts to grow at an incredible rate, its fur mutating into a brilliant red as it does so. They are ecstatic because their research has finally seen a result, albeit one they weren't expecting. There is only one problem. Clifford has become attached to Emily and refuses to leave her side Emily, too, has fallen in love with her new pet. They decide to let their project be canceled rather than try to separate the two. Unfortunately the government discovers their secret and begins a campaign to retrieve Clifford at any costs. During the initial conflict, Emily Elizabeth's parents are killed trying to help her and Clifford escape Emily and her dog flee into the wild. This sets the opening of the movie Over the course of the movie, Emily and Clifford are on the run and we see Emily grow into a young woman, everything about her honed into a survivalist expert. She and Clifford roam the backwoods constantly in fear of being captured. On one of her rare trips into town one day, Emily witnesses a bank robbery in progress involving multiple hostages. She calls Clifford and the two of them save the lives of the hostages but wreck the bank in the process. The local news capture footage of Clifford and it isn't long before the military arrives in town. Emily wants to just run away again, but she sees that the military is destroying the town, driving people out of their homes and destroying property in their search. She decides that enough is enough and rides Clifford back into town and fights the military. Amidst the fighting a huge truck arrives. A general (who was her parent's superior officer) gets out and smirks. He tells Emily Elizabeth that Clifford's mother wasn't the only animal that gave birth to a litter of babies after receiving an injection. The back of the truck unfolds to reveal a massive tabby cat. The cat strains against its bindings and tears free, immediately leaping onto a nearby group of soldiers and devouring them. Emily is horrified and orders Clifford to attack What follows is the dramatic battle between Clifford and the mutant cat. Clifford has strength, but the cat is too fast and agile. It looks like Clifford is down for the count, when the townstfolk, recognizing that Clifford is on their side, come to his aid. They distract the cat long enough for him to finish the beast off for good The military retreats, the general swearing vengeance on the two of them, and Emily and Clifford ride off into the night once more But the legend of the big red dog has already started. And Emily Elizabeth knows that the day will come when she and Clifford will need to ride into battle against the forces of evil once more The credits roll. Post credits, the screen fades to black for a moment. The sound of waves crashing on shore fills the air. The screen flashes brilliant white. The light of the lighthouse moves on, revealing a rocky shore on a rainy day. The camera pans down to find Clifford and Emily gazing out to sea. A massive object hangs in the air off the coast, obscured in the clouds. A smaller object rapidly approaches them. It resolves itself into an advanced helicopter that silently lands just down the shore from them. Clifford lets out a low growl but Emily quiets him with a hand on his leg. A lone figure emerges from the aircraft, huddling his arms around himself to fight off the cold He approaches the two. His hair is short and somewhat curly. He wears glasses and a grey flannel shirt and seems unlikely to pose a threat to the two. "Emily Elizabeth," he says over the sound of the crashing surf, worked with your parents. It's taken us a while to find you, after the Birdwell Island incident. "And who exactly is 'us'," she responds, eyes narrowing suspiciously Ignoring her question, the man continues. "Me and Clifford have a lot in common, actually" He smiles a little awkwardly, then presses on. was hoping you might be interested in meeting my boss. He's fairly excited to talk with you." "You still haven't answered my question. Who are you and who do you work for?" The man smiles. "My name is Banner. And I'm hear to talk to you about the Avengers Initiative. VIA THEMETAPICTURE.COM lolzandtrollz:Big Red Dog

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Anaconda, Energy, and Funny: t1 Gravitas Free Zone Retweeted db pooper @lonelydandruff 2h I just realised americans think their medicine costs as much as they're charged for it Your Trusted Wizard @Choplogik iguess if i was an american & saw all the wildly exorbitant medical bills people get i would wonder how universal healthcare'd get paid for 07 216 357 queeranarchism: flyingfishtailoutpost1: thebibliosphere: lizardtitties: withasmoothroundstone: robstmartin: titleknown: Blogging this tweet because this explains SO MUCH about the mindset of pretty much all the folks I’ve known who’re against single-payer, it’s not even funny… This…. This never occurred to me. Not once. That Americans are against Health Care because they think it actually costs tens of thousands of dollars for a broken arm, hundreds of thousands for a complicated birth, millions for cancer treatment. Because they’ve never known anything different. The idea that a broken arm is only a couple hundred bucks; a complicated birth a couple thousand; cancer treatment only tens of thousands; all easily covered by existing tax structures. This explains a lot.  And it’s a good example of what I was talking about in my post on scarcity being used to prop up ableism – always question the idea that a resource is genuinely scarce.  Even if it seems obvious that it is, quite often that’s the result of careful manipulation and misconceptions that you’re not even aware of.   And never think you’re too smart to be fooled by that kind of thing, it doesn’t work like that.  Similarly, don’t think people who are fooled by something are stupid.  Nobody can have all the information about everything, and nobody has the time and energy to investigate and put together conscious conclusions about every piece of information they’re given.  It doesn’t take being stupid, or even just gullible, to believe something like this. I currently live in a country without free medical care and still, it’s enormously cheap compared to the USA. An American expat wrote a piece for our English language paper about how she paid more for parking at the hospital than giving birth to her baby that’s pretty interesting: https://grapevine.is/mag/articles/2016/01/06/healthcare-in-iceland-vs-the-us-weve-got-it-so-good/ Yesterday I had to go to the hospital cause I injured my eye, I’m frankly dreading what the bill is going to be, but what made me balk was being told in the pharmacy that my insurance was denied for the antibiotic eye drops and it’d be over $100 out of pocket. So I didn’t get my eyedrops. I’ve had these same drops before living in the UK. They cost me seven GBP. It’s the exact same drug, same steroid, same strain of antibiotic. But somehow the US gets away with charging $100 for a generic non brand version of a drug which is easy to create and widely used. It’s downright robbery, but also a form of eugenics through poverty and class warfare. You keep the poor poor by making sure basic necessities remain unattainable and then you make it seem like the norm so no one fights it. The rest of the world is not like this. Eat the rich. Resist. It’s downright robbery, but also a form of eugenics through poverty and class warfare. THIS. THISTHISTHIS. THIS IS WHAT I KEEP TRYING TO TELL PEOPLE. This  always question the idea that a resource is genuinely scarce.
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Anaconda, Energy, and Food: t1 Gravitas Free Zone Retweeted db pooper @lonelydandruff 2h I just realised americans think their medicine costs as much as they're charged for it Your Trusted Wizard @Choplogik iguess if i was an american & saw all the wildly exorbitant medical bills people get i would wonder how universal healthcare'd get paid for 07 216 357 bogleech: the-library-alcove: flyingfishtailoutpost1: thebibliosphere: lizardtitties: withasmoothroundstone: robstmartin: titleknown: Blogging this tweet because this explains SO MUCH about the mindset of pretty much all the folks I’ve known who’re against single-payer, it’s not even funny… This…. This never occurred to me. Not once. That Americans are against Health Care because they think it actually costs tens of thousands of dollars for a broken arm, hundreds of thousands for a complicated birth, millions for cancer treatment. Because they’ve never known anything different. The idea that a broken arm is only a couple hundred bucks; a complicated birth a couple thousand; cancer treatment only tens of thousands; all easily covered by existing tax structures. This explains a lot.  And it’s a good example of what I was talking about in my post on scarcity being used to prop up ableism – always question the idea that a resource is genuinely scarce.  Even if it seems obvious that it is, quite often that’s the result of careful manipulation and misconceptions that you’re not even aware of.   And never think you’re too smart to be fooled by that kind of thing, it doesn’t work like that.  Similarly, don’t think people who are fooled by something are stupid.  Nobody can have all the information about everything, and nobody has the time and energy to investigate and put together conscious conclusions about every piece of information they’re given.  It doesn’t take being stupid, or even just gullible, to believe something like this. I currently live in a country without free medical care and still, it’s enormously cheap compared to the USA. An American expat wrote a piece for our English language paper about how she paid more for parking at the hospital than giving birth to her baby that’s pretty interesting: https://grapevine.is/mag/articles/2016/01/06/healthcare-in-iceland-vs-the-us-weve-got-it-so-good/ Yesterday I had to go to the hospital cause I injured my eye, I’m frankly dreading what the bill is going to be, but what made me balk was being told in the pharmacy that my insurance was denied for the antibiotic eye drops and it’d be over $100 out of pocket. So I didn’t get my eyedrops. I’ve had these same drops before living in the UK. They cost me seven GBP. It’s the exact same drug, same steroid, same strain of antibiotic. But somehow the US gets away with charging $100 for a generic non brand version of a drug which is easy to create and widely used. It’s downright robbery, but also a form of eugenics through poverty and class warfare. You keep the poor poor by making sure basic necessities remain unattainable and then you make it seem like the norm so no one fights it. The rest of the world is not like this. Eat the rich. Resist. It’s downright robbery, but also a form of eugenics through poverty and class warfare. THIS. THISTHISTHIS. THIS IS WHAT I KEEP TRYING TO TELL PEOPLE. My blood pressure medication (Candesartan) costs between $40-$125 USD for 30 tablets in the US.Here in Germany, 98 tablets costs me 5 Euro. The worst part is, the people pocketing the most of this money are powerful enough to keep it this way, and in the event that legislation of some kind actually brought prices down, they could cry to the government that their profits were taken from them and lobby to “make up” their losses in some way that you can guarantee will still hurt the lower classes.Most likely, they would end up getting billions in corporate welfare, and when it came time to make any budget cuts, they’d be able to use the same influence to keep their handouts while welfare and food stamps for poorer, hungrier people end up on the chopping block first.
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Animals, Desperate, and Dogs: sistercrow stormcloak Cilford the Big Red Dog by Sandara OH MY GOD Can we have a Clifford live action movie? Not a kids movie either Like, Emily Elizabeth's parents are working for a government agency developing a super soldier serum. None of their testing is working and they start testing the serum on larger mammals in hopes of seeing better results. They inject a variety of animals, including a dog Nothing. They are desperate and on the verge of having their project shut down when they notice one of the test dogs is pregnant. It gives birth and they bring one of the puppies home for their daughter To their shock, the puppy they brought home starts to grow at an incredible rate, its fur mutating into a brilliant red as it does so. They are ecstatic because their research has finally seen a result, albeit one they weren't expecting. There is only one problem Clifford has become attached to Emily and refuses to leave her side Emily, too, has fallen in love with her new pet. They decide to let their project be canceled rather than try to separate the two. Unfortunately the government discovers their secret and begins a campaign to retrieve Clifford at any costs. During the initial conflict, Emily Elizabeth's parents are killed trying to help her and Clifford escape Emily and her dog flee into the wild. This sets the opening of the movie Over the course of the movie, Emily and Clifford are on the run and we see Emily grow into a young woman, everything about her honed into a survivalist expert. She and Clifford roam the backwoods constantly in fear of being captured. On one of her rare trips into towrn one day, Emily witnesses a bank robbery in progress involving multiple hostages. She calls Clifford and the two of them save the lives of the hostages but wreck the bank in the process. The local news capture footage of Clifford and it isn't long before the military arrives in town Emily wants to just run away again, but she sees that the military is destroying the town, driving people out of their homes and destroying property in their search. She decides that enough is enough and rides Clifford back into town and fights the military. Amidst the fighting a huge truck arrives. A general (who was her parent's superior officer) gets out and smirks. He tells Emily Elizabeth that Clifford's mother wasn't the only animal that gave birth to a litter of babies after receiving an injection. The back of the truck unfolds to reveal a massive tabby cat. The cat strains against its bindings and tears free immediately leaping onto a nearby group of soldiers and devouring them. Emily is horrified and orders Clifford to attack What follows is the dramatic battle between Clifford and the mutant cat. Clifford has strength, but the cat is too fast and agile. It looks like Clifford is down for the count, when the townsfolk, recognizing that Clifford is on their side, come to his aid. They distract the cat long enough for him to finish the beast off for good The military retreats, the general swearing vengeance on the two of them, and Emily and Clifford ride off into the night once more. But the legend of the big red dog has already started. And Emily Elizabeth knows that the day will come when she and Clifford will need to ride into battle against the forces of evil once more The credits roll Post credits, the screen fades to black for a moment. The sound of waves crashing on shore fills the air. The screen flashes brilliant white The light of the lighthouse moves on, revealing a rocky shore on a rainy day. The camera pans down to find Clifford and Emily gazing out to sea. A massive object hangs in the air off the coast, obscured in the clouds. A smaller object rapidly approaches them. It resolves itseltf into an advanced helicopter that silently lands just down the shore from them. Clifford lets out a low growl but Emily quiets him with a hand on his leg. A lone figure emerges from the aircraft, huddling his arms around himself to fight off the cold He approaches the two. His hair is short and somewhat curly. He wears glasses and a grey flannel shirt and seems unlikely to pose a threat to the two "Emily Elizabeth," he says over the sound of the crashing surf, "I worked with your parents. It's taken us a while to find you, after the Birdwell Island incident." "And who exactly is 'us'," she responds, eyes narrowing suspiciously. gnoring her question, the man continues. "Me and Clifford have a lot in common, actually. He smiles a little awkwardly, then presses on. "I was hoping you might be interested in meeting my boss. He's fairly excited to talk with you. You still haven't answered my question. Who are you and who do you work for?" The man smiles. "My name is Banner. And I'm hear to talk to you about the Avengers Initiative. mo re Fun on likealaugh.org I Would Watch It

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