🔥 Popular | Latest

Click, Fucking, and Funny: 23+ Incredible Tumblr Posts That Are Must Watch the-man-who-sold-za-warudo Knight: I have trained in all forms of combat and weapons since birth. I cannot be bested Some horsecock motherfucker: Knight: What the fuck cerastes OH FUCK YESI GET TO TALK ABOUT LANTERN SHIELDS. For anyone seeing this post and wondering what kind of unholy heresy is currently having a blacksmithing orgy in front of their eyes, this is called a Lantern Shield. This came from, YOU GUESSED IT, fucking Italy, home of lunatic steel-weaving mother fuckers who often simply looked at each other and by each other, I mean their frenzied reflections in their shattered mirrors, and said "WHAT IF WE JUST DO THINGS", which is, as we all know, Aunt Jemima's recipe for success. Lantern Shields were very indicative: They were meant to be bucklers that could carry a lantern, oftentimes for night time duels Now, you're wondering, why carry a lantern on a night duel when it could just prove detrimental to your overall movement? Why, to blind the mother fucker, of coursel But, see, and this is the funny thing about Italy, when Italian blacksmiths realized that they could just add hook to a buckler, they noticed they could also just add whatever the thrice condemned shit they wanted to them, so they started forging stakes, spikes, and blades that protruded out of the buckler and gauntlet as additional defense against anyone who, due to the poor visibility of mist shrouded, dark blanketed nights, would just walk right into your handheld barracks. mean, nothing better than a bloke closing the distance to you losing an eye or six because they didn't consider you might just carry a porcupine on your arm, right? Some specimens exists, but these are not numerous. If you know of or possess an actual, physical Lantern Shield, congratulations, you probably have an item that likely killed. Source: the-man-who-sold-za-warudo Jan 26th, 2019 3,068 notes Sarcasm Goal Click to see full list 23+ Incredible Tumblr Posts That Are Must Watch #funny #memes #lol #humor #hilarious #tumblr
Save
Ass, BlackBerry, and Community: just-shower-thoughts Building a treehouse is the biggest insult to a tree. "I killed your friend, here hold him Friend Its more of I killed a potential enemy. Hold his dismembered corpse in victory. theun--sj Plants don't wage war Ever heard of blackberries? Yes, plants do wage war kasaron Mint and strawberries, too. They need to be quarantined or they will kill basically everything else. systlin I planted mint in the ground 2 years ago. It's currently fighting a bitter battle to the death against the raspberries attempting to invade from the east while trying to annex the patio. Could go either way at this point TBH. Unless, of course, take a shovel and the blowtorch out there and battle both back to within their original boundaries. And anyone wondering if a blowtorch is overkill for weeding back mint has never actually planted mint. This post did not go where I expected it to. Our garden plot at my childhood home slowly got overrun by wild blackberries after we stopped managing it while my sister and were in nursing school. And by overrun I mean it was like a 4 foot tall thicket of wild black- berries. It hadn't been touched by humans in at least 4 years. I started the ultimately futile task of trying to clear this plot with a machete and discovered to my amazement a patch of mint several feet across underneath the canopy of blackberry, still fighting the good fight all those years later Ultimately it took two jars of homemade napalm and some creative fire placement to clear that patch but I damn sure saved that patch of mint. It earned the right to be there. Yall mother fuckers don't even talk unless you've had to wage war on kudzu (it's an ivy strain directly from Hell) that shit doesn't just wage war with other plants, it wages war with all living things on planet earth. It's some gnarly ass Blood for the Blood God, Chlorophyll for the Chlorophyll Throne demon weed Can second the comments of Kudzu. I forget where I read it but theres this one tree that creates an extremely flammable substance that's in both the bark and leaves Dead trees become torches and crushed up leaves become dust-incendiary, all while the plant's seeds are Giant Redwood levels of resilient to open flame. IE it has a goddamn scorched earth policy. It's even more badass than plants that use toxins to starve other ants. I'd like to third the comments on Kudzu. These are the battlefields: See those weird pillars? Those were trees. See that strange lump in the middle? That was a Everything green you see in this photo is kudzu. Near my parents' house in Oregon theres an old WWII army training camp that's long been abandoned, and it's full of concrete remnants of buildings that are completely overrun with blackberries. It's a really great spot to go berry picking, and it has an eerie, post-apocalyptic feel That's not even considering allelopathic interactions between plants-look up the black walnut tree (its toxin, juglone, is the most famous example) basically, it wages chemical warfare on nearby plants through the root system (though the nutshells also contain juglone too). Juglone discourages germination rates and even inhibits root growth of already existing plants! Allelopathy in general is a new field-theres Discourse because each particular toxins only works on specific plants, which vary therefore it's really fucking hard to regulate & compile enough data to test out the effects of such chemicals compared to other factors pests, soil depletion, etc), but theres a little community still because Targeted Pesticides" would be really rad yo 115,692 n.. 画、 Call of Duty: Bonatinic Warfare
Save
Fuck You, Money, and Shit: FLOOR ELVIS @Ingawaitedsleep This fuckin guy Put a PayPal dispute on his commission Days after requesting it "I thought it was only gonna take an hour" 10/14/16, 5:10 AM FLOOR ELVIS @lngawaitedsleep 3d v Then I go to check my pp balance and it's -$4 And my bank account is overdrawn With a bank overdraft fee of $35 And a $10 pp charge 6 9 FLOOR ELVIS @Ingawaitedsleep. 3d ﹀ This guy has so far COST ME $70 and he GOT ART OUT OF IT 5 9 FLOOR ELVIS @lngawaitedsleep 3d v And he was like "oh it takes the money out when I do that? I just figured you weren't gonna do it" Mother fucker 13310 rayearthmagic: thelilnan: aroyalmoon: littlegreendorito: mauditcajun: tahthetrickster: Attention non-artists who commission artists: don’t fuckin do this??? Actually had someone do this to me too. Was doing a art stream, it took me over 2 hours to do his inked commission, he got a refund cause ‘it took too long’ that he figured I wasn’t going to do it after I gave him the file. Don’t do this. Do not. I’ve had this happen to me with a $350 comic :/ I had already finished it, it was full color, 6 panels and had a full bg in every panel. I was lucky in that I didn’t spend him money yet, but it left me without funds. I’ve also had the above happen to me as well. Don’t do this shit to artists. We’re people too. Drawing for you is more than a hobby. It’s a job. Use Paypal Invoices.  I cannot stress this enough. That shit helps A LOT when it comes down to Paypal refunds/disputes. There’s a description box that let’s you put in what the product is/how long it’ll take/yadda yadda, and then there’s another little memo box that only you and paypal can see where you can say it’s a digital commission and doesn’t require shipping (So Donald Mcfuck can’t say that they never got their commission). And there’s also a box for your Terms Conditions where you can say, if you have any conflicts/want a refund - email me, or you can actually tell the user that this is a digital commission and they won’t be getting a hard copy of it. ARTISTS. PLEASE USE PAYPAL INVOICES. it will SAVE you.And to: the people who do this to artists – Fuck you. It’s okay if you change your mind and want a refund. But freaking TALK to us and let us know what’s going on. Let us WORK with you. ALSO A HUGE TIP: Invoices paid will automatically set up a shipping notice which, if not fulfilled, can land you in SERIOUS hot water with PayPal. Since a lot of artists don’t print and ship the commissions, this is a huge problem. However! Totally manageable. Just go to your PayPal, scroll down to find Seller Preferences Shipping Preferences Display Ship Button. Make sure all the boxes are unchecked. Then you’re all set! Protect yourself, artists!
Save
Anaconda, Ass, and Creepy: Ladies,İf you don't want toget rapedbya cop then follow the law in the first pace so you dont get pulled over." OK Patrol Captain George Brow plunderpuss: tallulah99: datiek: popping-smoke: mbisthegame: oparnoshoshoi: anarchyandacupofcoffee: OK Highway Patrol Captain George Brown says the best “tip” for women to not get raped by a cop is to “follow the law in the first place so you don’t get pulled over.”http://youtu.be/BO8g8akPWcY (Last third of the video). Three serial rapists in 3 weeks arrested in Oklahoma, all cops. Follow for Anarchy | Follow for Feminism Pro tip: if you’re signaled to pull over (whether you’re male or female) and you’re in a place that has no witnesses, turn your hazard lights on to acknowledge the officer’s siren, and drive to the nearest gas station or populated area. This is accepted protocol by every agency. You are not obligated pull over until you can do so safely. This includes personal safety. Understand your rights, brothers and sisters. There are disgusting examples of authority in this world. HAZARD LIGHTS ARE NOT AN ACCEPTABLE ACKNOWLEDGEMENT. IT IS NOT ACCEPTED PROTOCOL BY EVERY AGENCY. DO NOT JUST CONTINUE DRIVING WITH YOUR HAZARD LIGHTS IN CASE THE COP MIGHT THINK IT’S A LOW-SPEED CHASE. I know that sounds dumb, but hear me out. My mother is a dispatcher for the local police station. I asked her about how to pull over for a cop and even brought up the use of hazard lights, and she told me that it is not always accepted. This is what she told me you can do in order to feel safe when pulling over: Call the police. No, really. Call and tell the dispatcher where you are and that there is a cop behind you demanding you pull over. The dispatcher can and will stay on the line with you while they look up the area you’re in to see if it’s one of their station’s cops. Then, once the cop comes to your window, you can crack it open (it only has to be an inch!) while still on the phone with the dispatcher. This is definitely, 100% accepted protocol. The dispatcher will verify that it is their own, real cop, and they will gladly stay on the line with you throughout your interaction with the officer. And God forbid this ever happens to any of you, but if something were to happen to you during this time, you’ve already contacted 911 and given your location to the dispatcher. Please keep this in mind if you are ever requested to pull over and do not feel safe. The dispatcher will understand. Do not, however, continue to drive, because there might be the off-chance an officer will think you’re flat-out refusing to pull over (a well-lit, populated area might be a ways away). Stay safe. Signal boost. Because I personally know some creepy ass mother fuckers who became cops because they’re demented psychopaths and they get off on having control over people. In light of current bullshit, this might be a good idea for a LOT of people, not just women. Marginalized minorities of all stripes, take note. I hate taking up an emergency dispatcher’s resources, but i also hate seeing yet another fucked up news story about police harming citizens.
Save
Dinosaur, Jesus, and Run: <p><a href="http://equestrianrepublican.tumblr.com/post/154599638916/killer-squirtle-emma-regina4ever" class="tumblr_blog">equestrianrepublican</a>:</p> <blockquote><p><a href="http://killer-squirtle.tumblr.com/post/154420693486/emma-regina4ever-rembrandtswife" class="tumblr_blog">killer-squirtle</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a class="tumblr_blog" href="http://emma-regina4ever.tumblr.com/post/149445563848">emma-regina4ever</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a class="tumblr_blog" href="http://rembrandtswife.tumblr.com/post/149436082162">rembrandtswife</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a class="tumblr_blog" href="http://theactualcluegirl.tumblr.com/post/149430736662">theactualcluegirl</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a class="tumblr_blog" href="http://becausedragonage.tumblr.com/post/149377477197">becausedragonage</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a class="tumblr_blog" href="http://thanos-the-rad-titan.tumblr.com/post/149300251888">thanos-the-rad-titan</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a class="tumblr_blog" href="http://rehfan.tumblr.com/post/146620165274">rehfan</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a class="tumblr_blog" href="http://digitaldiscipline.tumblr.com/post/145467218749">digitaldiscipline</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a class="tumblr_blog" href="http://dear-tumb1r.tumblr.com/post/145455657277">dear-tumb1r</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a class="tumblr_blog" href="http://srsfunny.tumblr.com/post/145452772046">srsfunny</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p>Canadian Nightmare</p> </blockquote> <p>JESUS CHRIST<br/><br/>WHO THE FUCK LET THAT EXIST</p> </blockquote> <p>The Canadian regionalization DLC for Nyan Cat looks amazing.<br/></p> </blockquote> <p>This is nothing I wanted and yet everything I ever needed</p> <p>Bless you Canada and your gigantic dinosaur snowplow monsters</p> </blockquote> <p>Woo woo, motherfucker!</p> </blockquote> <p><a href="https://tmblr.co/mrglkxum6olaivuAlD__Hkg">@a-mahariels-travels</a></p> </blockquote> <p>Goddamned Mezolithic Megafauna’s what that is. Goddamned warranty expired on those things centuries ago, but do they care? Do they go decently extinct, like the ground sloth, gigantopethicus, or wooly rhino? Fuck that, they’re doing downhill runs on your favorite skiing course is what. Because Fuck it, is why.</p> </blockquote> <p>Now I understand why moose are built the way they are.</p> <p>It’s so they can gallop untrammelled through six-odd feet of snow.</p> </blockquote> <p>Jesus Christ I read those mother fuckers could run 55km an hour but seeing it is another thing especially plowing through the snow</p> </blockquote> <p>DASHING THROUGH THE SNOW<br/>GET THE FUCK OUT OF THE WAY</p> </blockquote> <p>I’m glad I live in Arizona far away from that bullshit.</p></blockquote>
Save
Save