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Being Alone, Children, and Creepy: via VERY FAST DELIVERY nly two things are more hazardous than writing to me during these times. They are eating mussels in July and receiving a rep y from mc, both of which may leave you feverish, shaking, and alone. However, it c n also be very uncomfortable to wait day a ter day for a reply that never comes, as I have since my last letter to a dear fried Consequ ntly. I m sending you a lette containing Very Few Details. Accept my hum le thanks and fervent wishes for your continued safety. as well as the safet of the familiar-looking neighbor with whom you have never spoken. With all due respect, Lemony Snickt jesstheespeon: explainingthejoke: popsicle-prince: dark-clifford: pooguns: frenchtugboat: bowieonthebelafonte: When i was 10, I sent a letter to Lemony Snicket. I didn’t receive a personal reply, but I got one of these. 7 years later I realized that there’s a message ABORT MISSION This is fucking scary I dont get it.. @explainingthejoke The images are of a reply from Lemony Snicket, an author known for his A Series of Unfortunate Events, a book series aimed at older children. The reply is written in the voice of his narrator character. The narrator shares his pen name and frequently writes in vague references to the reader, who is included in the mystery as the correspondent to whom Lemony Snicket is sending his information. The reply is titled “via VERY FAST DELIVERY.” The letters V.F.D. play a big part in the series. The note reads:  nly two things are more hazardous than writing to me during these times. They are eating mussels in July and receiving a rep y from me, both of which may leave you feverish, shaking, and alone. However, it c n also be very uncomfortable to wait day a ter day for a reply that never comes, as I have since my last letter to a dear frie d. Consequ ntly, I am sending you a lette  containing Very Few Details. Accept my humble thanks and fervent wishes for your continued safety, as well as the safety of the familiar-looking neighbor with whom you have never spoken. With all due respect, Lemony Snicket Several letters from this note are deliberately missing. If the reader wrote down each letter that was missing, they would spell out: OLAF NEARBY Count Olaf is the major villain in the series. Lemony Snicket is writing in code, suggesting that he can’t be candid because Olaf may be observing him or the reader. Creepy! This isn’t a joke. It is just cute. Dear reader, I sincerely hope you don’t have a sizable family fortune lying about.
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Batman, Bitch, and Click: gotham city by meg INT. WAREHOUSE NIGHT The discordant SCREECH of a wooden chair's being dragged across a concrete floor echoes through the spacious yet deserted warehouse. The tinted lights are dim, some flickering without any discernible pattern. A heavy pair of boots stomp rhythmically as an man makes his way across the room, the chair firmly in his grip. The man, a nameless HENCHMAN type, is who someone with manners would refer to as "burly" or "built." He stops underneath the brightest light in the room, setting the chair down and revealing its occupant. He is wearing a golden "RR" symbol decorating his chest. Despite the sack covering his features, one can still make out his raven hair poking out of the burlap fabric. a uniform of sorts, with black and red details plus HENCHMAN (gruff) Seems like the Batman... is losing his touch RED ROBIN's head twitches underneath the sack. RED ROBIN (muffled) Do I look like Batman to you? The henchman circles the teen like a tiger stalking its prey, if that tiger had one too many antelope dinners. He forces out a deep and planned LAUGH HENCHMAN No, no, no. Much too small, you are Red Robin shifts in his seat. Inaudible muffling can be heard from underneath the sack. HENCHMAN (CONT'D) Shhh, little bird. You must save your breath! Air will get spare quite soon. Henchman LAUGHS again, but this time his voice horribly cracks. He COUGHS quickly, but the damage was done. Red Robin shifts in his seat once more in the following uncomfortable silence. HENCHMAN (CONT'D) So tell me- 2. Henchman tries to restore the tense atmosphere by slipping an obnoxiously sized syringe full of mysterious liquid out of a package hidden in his coat pocket. HENCHMAN (CONT'D) Where is the bat? My employer just wants to... chat. Red Robin drops his head to the side, effectively communicating a "bitch, please" without the spoken word. Henchman menacingly shakes his head as he stalks toward the teen HENCHMAN (CONT'D) I had a feeling you were the dumb robin A voice suddenly cuts through the heavy air. RED HOOD (from above) Damn right! The man drops the syringe in surprise, eliciting CRASH Red Robin perks up at the dialogue, using the hand that was supposedly tied to the splintering wooden chair to lift the sack from his head. a horrid RED ROBIN (yelling) I resent that! More bickering voices start to emerge from the darkened catwalk above the factory floor. The henchman stands stunned SPOILER Hey, don't say that! sensitive. He's ROBIN Weakest Robin, maybe. Getting himself kidnapped by this oaf? Disgraceful RED ROBIN (yelling) We literally planned this! It was your idea! Red Robin starts untying the ropes around his ankles. 3. ROBIN Maybe there's a reason you're always playing kidnapped! RED ROBIN (yelling) Because you guys are jerks? NIGHTWING Hey, I volunteered to be kidnapped this time! BATGIRL Oh, honey. We all know how that would play out. A communal GROAN emits from the batkids as they reminisce on the last time Dick volunteered to play kidnapped. RED HOOD I take it back, Wing's the dumb Robin NIGHTWING OKAY, first of all, not my fault- the fire was The batkids devolve into unintelligible BICKERING. To an outside observer, it would seem as Red Robin is yelling into darkness filled with disembodied voices. Henchman SPUTTERS, unable to form coherent words. HENCHMAN H-hey! You- You can't- ALL BATKIDS (yelling) Shut up! The henchman shuts his gaping mouth with the CLICK of his teeth HENCHΜΑΝ (talking to himself) I 'm not getting out of this, am 1? A pair of white eyes cut through the darkness behind him ΒΑΤΜAΝ No outoftheframework: outoftheframework: so a little fun tidbit about me is that i write screenplays. i challenged myself to write one in fifteen minutes, unedited, and then post it. this is what happened. enjoy? so so so thankful and in awe to the response to this post. I love screenwriting and it would be my pleasure to provide you guys with more high quality work in the future, y’all make me so happy.thank you :)
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Animals, Arguing, and Bad: Please don't do this to your fur babies This is what the other side of de-clawing a cat looks like... You literally cut the tips of their toes off. They will never walk correctly. They will inevitably get arthritis as a result. It hurts. They don't understand what happened to them. If you don't like claws: don't own a damn cat. c-r-y-p-t-i-d-s: dreamyluigi-anti: sans-hates-frans: del-the-masked-thing: cottoncandycan: therevenantrising: cisnowflake: artemuscain-gamingandbs: constable-nugget: xprmnt626: socialjusticeichigo: veterinaryrambles: babyanimalgifs: THIS IS IMPORTANT This message is veterinarian-approved!!! In case it isn’t clear, that is literally the last bone of a cat’s toes attached to those claws. If you thought only the claw was being removed during declaw surgery, you are unfortunately mistaken. It’s an amputation. Get claw caps instead! They stay on pretty well and your cat can walk around normally. You can take them off whenever you want. This is great for house cats. They don’t need their claws for defense but they need them to walk the way we need toes. This keeps them from scratching you or furniture and keeps them happy and healthy. It’s a win for everyone. Plus your cat will look like it got a kitty manicure. Reblogging again for the last comment, for anyone who wants to argue about saving their precious furniture. Boom! Problem solved. I regularly trim my cat’s claws because I love him They’re super cheap too! Not really a cat person, but this is still important. PLS DONT REMOVE UR CATS TOE BONES T o e b o n e s r i m p o r t a n t The second cat my family ever owned was declawed, and she suffered GREATLY from arthritis in her last few years. She could barely get into her own litterbox and she often went on the carpet because of this. She died in my mom’s arms, obviously in pain. DO. NOT. DECLAW. YOUR. CATS. DON’T FUCKING DECLAW YOUR CATS! THAT SHIT SHOULD BE CHARGED AS ANIMAL ABUSE Reblogging here instead of just commenting: Please dont use claw caps on cats. Claw caps are meant for claws that are out 24/7; like a dogs claws. Cats are not like dogs…. again. Cat claws retract. And like some of the comments on this very post say, on cats they have to be superglued on, because cats will rip them off. And trying to remove them after can literally just rip their nail off anyways. Using claw caps on retractable clawed animals can cause serious damage, discomfort, and infection, which can then lead to…. THE AMPUTATION YOU WERE TRYING TO AVOID!!! People need to do some research before blurting out an unresearched ‘solution’ that causes just as much damage. So many people have reblogged the claw cap version and listen to it without question and that’s REALLY. REALLY. BAD. Here’s a real solution; either clip their nails manually (google how it’s easy) or just DONT. GET. A. CAT. Please reblog this and spread it around, people you cannot safely use claw caps on an animal with retractable claws.
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Bad, Head, and Iron Man: saltyaboutfictionalcharacters: sam-falcon-wilson: cyclesofthemoon: professionallyprocrastinating: antisolanum: teameveryonebutironman: i-love-tony-stark: sam-falcon-wilson: I need to talk about this scene. This scene actually, physically hurt me when I watched it in theaters, and cemented Iron Man as a bad guy in my head. Sam Wilson saw his friend get shot out of the air. He was too late to save him; he watched his wingman die, and he was powerless to do anything. So imagine how he feels when the shot that was meant to hit him hits Rhodey, who begins to plummet towards the ground. He immediately dives after him with zero hesitation, but he’s just not fast enough. He even apologizes to Tony, although he has nothing to apologize for. And do you know what Tony does? He shoots him. Point blank. I don’t care if Tony didn’t know about Riley. It doesn’t matter. Sam Wilson just risked his life going after Rhodey, probably having flashbacks the entire way down, and he fails. Again. And Tony doesn’t care. He shoots him, and he’s so close that the force of the shot sends Sam somersaulting backwards. Sam did nothing to injure Rhodey in any way, and even tries to help, and Tony. Fricking. S h o o t s. H i m. How can you support or stan this disgusting man? Also, if I recall correctly, Sam Wilson served as a pararescue airman. That means he’s a trained medic, he could have helped Rhodey and probably would have if Tony hadn’t shot him point blank in the chest. Yeah, either tony is that much of an asshole that he didn’t bother to get to know Sam despite him being part of the team for two years or he’s that much of an asshole that he shot a trained medic in the chest. And let’s not forget that using a repulsor blast that powerful, powerful enough to throw him back like he was shot with a shotgun, at relatively close range, on a target with no power armor (and no the falcon suit doesn’t count, it’s for flight not protection) could easily have killed him. Shock, cracking his head on the ground, stopping his heart from the force, that could have killed him. I mean, sam’s a tough cookie, but that wasn’t “the hulk punching thor after the battle because he didn’t forget about his insult from earlier, but they both know he’s gonna be alright” it’s “Tony is so selfish that he is willing to potentially kill sam because he hurt rhodey” Despite all of this, Sam’s first words to Tony, after being imprisoned thanks to him, is “How is Rhodes?” Concern for a former team-mate is still foremost in his mind, despite the fact that going back to help, rather than following Steve and Bucky to help them in Siberia, is what landed Sam in the Raft. Then Sam turns around, and we see that half of his face is one massive bruise, and he is moving slowly. Yeah, no, that is never going to be justifiable. … Also, what is to say that Rhodey’s injuries weren’t made worse by Tony’s attempts to help, since the guy with medical training was injured and potentially unconscious thanks to Iron Man ‘getting angry and reacting’. Sam Wilson wasn’t offering to help. Sam Wilson was standing there, looking at him, and the guy with PTSD and trust issues properly assumed that the fucker would take another shot. Like, you’re expecting him to think clearly? Why would he react any other way? Yeah, I expect him to think clearly. He’s an adult. Cut it out with the PTSD defense; just because someone has a mental illness like that doesn’t excuse their actions. Sam also has PTSD. He was probably having a vivid flashback to the time his friend died in front of him in much the same way. So, excuse him for sitting there, reliving all his past mistakes, beating himself up because maybe if he has been faster, or if he had done this or that, Rhodey wouldn’t be paralyzed. Get the hell off my post with your gross Tonky defense and cry to someone who cares, because I don’t. plus, sam did nothing to rhodey. all he did was dodge a shot from vision that would have killed him if it connected. he has no protection in his flight gear so if he fell from the height that rhodey did he would have died. Tony shot him for not allowing himself to be killed, even when he was apologizing and could have helped rhodey. tony stark is trash.
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Arguing, Bones, and Cats: Please don't do this to your fur babies This is what the other side of de-clawing a cat looks like... You literally cut the tips of their toes off. They will never walk correctly. They will inevitably get arthritis as a result. It hurts. They don't understand what happened to them. If you don't like claws: don't own a damn cat. kitcat992: del-the-masked-thing: cottoncandycan: therevenantrising: cisnowflake: artemuscain-gamingandbs: constable-nugget: xprmnt626: socialjusticeichigo: veterinaryrambles: babyanimalgifs: THIS IS IMPORTANT This message is veterinarian-approved!!! In case it isn’t clear, that is literally the last bone of a cat’s toes attached to those claws. If you thought only the claw was being removed during declaw surgery, you are unfortunately mistaken. It’s an amputation. Get claw caps instead! They stay on pretty well and your cat can walk around normally. You can take them off whenever you want. This is great for house cats. They don’t need their claws for defense but they need them to walk the way we need toes. This keeps them from scratching you or furniture and keeps them happy and healthy. It’s a win for everyone. Plus your cat will look like it got a kitty manicure. Reblogging again for the last comment, for anyone who wants to argue about saving their precious furniture. Boom! Problem solved. I regularly trim my cat’s claws because I love him They’re super cheap too! Not really a cat person, but this is still important. PLS DONT REMOVE UR CATS TOE BONES T o e b o n e s r i m p o r t a n t Plus you can have matching nails with your furbaby! Ya know…if that’s your thing and all.

kitcat992: del-the-masked-thing: cottoncandycan: therevenantrising: cisnowflake: artemuscain-gamingandbs: constable-nugget: xprmnt626...

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