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Party, Run, and Singing: Simone Policano 28 Mar at 01:26 A note on consent I filmed a scene today with a young child actor who had to quickly peck me on the lips as I tucked him into bed. The moment in the film is supposed to be somewhat uncomfortable, unexpected. I've gotten to know him over the past five days of shooting - he is a remarkable, kind and intuitive kid. He often appears much younger than his 12 years of age, waving his flashlight under a blanket and singing DISSSSC000 PARTYYYYY!!, but now and again an old-soul quality of his blinks up at me through messy light brown hair. He had read the script so he knew the kiss was coming, yet when the production team walked through it for blocking we'd gloss over the moment, nervous about making him uncomfortable. He's young and doesn't know me all that well and it's a lot to ask of a kid who met you five days ago. But eventually we had to run it, because that's what you have to do. And so when the director said we were going to do it for real, our young actor pulled me in for a sec and whispered "Hey Simone, I want to make sure you're okay with everything that happens with the kiss. Do you feel okay? Please tell me if l'm ever doing too much or if I hurt you or make you feel scared." This took many times longer to say than the kiss would take to film. True to his word, after every take of a .3 second peck, he grabbed my hand and whispered Was that okay? Did you feel okay?" And then we'd high- five and he'd burrow back under the covers to resume his flashlight disco party until the next take. Hes 12. Don't let anyone ever tell you that the male inability to understand consent is innate. It is learned <p><a href="http://silvasaliva.tumblr.com/post/172728278733/yall-wanna-tell-me-why-the-minor-had-to" class="tumblr_blog">silvasaliva</a>:</p> <blockquote><p>?????? y’all wanna tell me why the minor had to take responsibility for the adults consent here??????? y’all wanna tell me why a child feels a supreme sense of guilt for how an adult feels in the same vulnerable situation?????? y’all wanna tell me wtf is happening here???????</p></blockquote> <p>What kills me about stuff like this is that they seem to be responding to an imaginary set of non-feminists who are shrugging their shoulders and saying “Men just have to rape and don’t understand consent. It’s in their nature” when in my experience the only people saying stuff like that are feminists. Like the only people I know who interpret “boys will be boys“ as “boys will be rapists“ are feminists.</p>

silvasaliva: ?????? y’all wanna tell me why the minor had to take responsibility for the adults consent here??????? y’all wanna tell me why...

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Comfortable, Party, and Respect: Simone Policano 28 Mar at 01:26 A note on consent I filmed a scene today with a young child actor who had to quickly peck me on the lips as I tucked him into bed. The moment in the film is supposed to be somewhat uncomfortable, unexpected. I've gotten to know him over the past five days of shooting - he is a remarkable, kind and intuitive kid. He often appears much younger than his 12 years of age, waving his flashlight under a blanket and singing DISSSSC000 PARTYYYYY!!, but now and again an old-soul quality of his blinks up at me through messy light brown hair. He had read the script so he knew the kiss was coming, yet when the production team walked through it for blocking we'd gloss over the moment, nervous about making him uncomfortable. He's young and doesn't know me all that well and it's a lot to ask of a kid who met you five days ago. But eventually we had to run it, because that's what you have to do. And so when the director said we were going to do it for real, our young actor pulled me in for a sec and whispered "Hey Simone, I want to make sure you're okay with everything that happens with the kiss. Do you feel okay? Please tell me if l'm ever doing too much or if I hurt you or make you feel scared." This took many times longer to say than the kiss would take to film. True to his word, after every take of a .3 second peck, he grabbed my hand and whispered Was that okay? Did you feel okay?" And then we'd high- five and he'd burrow back under the covers to resume his flashlight disco party until the next take. Hes 12. Don't let anyone ever tell you that the male inability to understand consent is innate. It is learned <p><a href="https://ima-fuckingt4ble.tumblr.com/post/172674966466/levicooksupsomebullsht-yourownpetard-the-male" class="tumblr_blog">ima-fuckingt4ble</a>:</p><blockquote> <p><a href="https://levicooksupsomebullsht.tumblr.com/post/172611141730/yourownpetard-the-male-inability-to-understand" class="tumblr_blog">levicooksupsomebullsht</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a href="https://yourownpetard.tumblr.com/post/172604400093/the-male-inability-to-understand-consent-the" class="tumblr_blog">yourownpetard</a>:</p> <blockquote><p>&gt;the male inability to understand consent<br/><br/>The what???</p></blockquote> <p>are we just going to ignore that the <i>12 year old boy</i> in this situation is expected to be responsible for the consent of an <i>adult woman</i>? Boy’s not even an adult and it’s <i>still</i> his responsibility for women’s comfort and safety even when <i>he’s</i> the vulnerable one in the situation. </p> <p>Does she absolutely not see the <i>glaring double standard</i> of men, regardless of age, having to take responsibility for women’s boundaries but women are not obligated to actually communicate their boundaries or respect men’s boundaries. </p> <p>Even when a boy is young and vulnerable he still manages to have empathy and take responsibility, and she makes it entirely about shitting on men.</p> </blockquote> <p>!!!!!!!!!!!</p> </blockquote> <p>I literally thought this is going to be about how important it was for her as an ADULT to make sure the CHILD was comfortable and didn’t view the situation as sexual but no we had to take a hard left turn into feminist bullshit.</p>
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Anna, Brains, and Church: SKILL HARD WORK TO ACHIEVE A LEVEL OF SKILL IN ANYTHING YOU HAVE TO STAND ON A PILLAR OF HARD WORK. OH, I JUST STARTED HERE TALENT & I HARD WORK TALENTHARD WORK owLTURD.com violent-darts: charlesoberonn: jelloapocalypse: These bother me sometimes. We all start as literal useless babies. No one gets a magic ticket that makes them better at anything. If someone says they “never practice” it’s probably because they like doing the skill and see it as a fun use of their time instead of “practice”. I will qualify this a small but I think important amount, because what it is is actually complicated:  Some people’s brains and nervous systems are wired for better hand-eye coordination. Some people’s brains and nervous systems are wired for better pattern recognition. Or translations of audio input. Or whatever.  What this does is combine with @jelloapocalypse‘s EXTREMELY WELL-OBSERVED COMMENT (If someone says they “never practice” it’s probably because they like doing the skill and see it as a fun use of their time instead of “practice”.) in a way that can be both invisible and give this kind of person a massive leg up while being really discouraging to someone who doesn’t have that wiring.  It doesn’t get to the actual original comic’s level of “oh I just started here”. But let’s take two people called Riley and Kennedy, and we’ll do singing, since that’s what I teach.  Riley and Kennedy have exactly the same kind of background: parents who listen to the radio sometimes, the usual social stuff around popular music of whatever genre, etc, but no formal training. Neither of them sings in a church choir, neither of them falls into a formal disability category, whatever.  The first time Riley shows up in my studio and we sing a really simple song I use as a diagnostic, she gets it mostly right. She can follow the tune; she can hear pitch, and it takes very little work for her to chivvy her voice into matching that pitch as long as there’s not something pulling her off. (In other words: as long as I’m singing the same notes as her and playing them on the piano, and as long a she can hear both herself and those notes).  For Riley the lesson is really fun and validating and she goes home and sings along to her own music for a while and comes back next week with six songs she wants to try learning. And most of her lessons are like that: pretty easy positive feedback. That means Riley “practices” a lot in exactly the way @jelloapocalypse describes, even if she doesn’t think she’s actually practicing (that is, sitting down to sing the songs we’re working on together in a systematic way) at all.  In contrast, the first time Kennedy comes to my studio, she struggles. It’s harder for her to hear the difference between notes, and it’s much harder for her to make her voice actually match the pitch she wants to sing at. When we pull out the diagnostic tune, she mostly manages to drone a few clusters of semi-tones, and while she can hear that she’s Off, it’s actually very hard for her to tell HOW she’s off, or what she should do to correct it.  In most cases, for Kennedy, lessons - and in fact the overall experience of singing - is not fun. It’s not validating. It’s a whole process of Not Being Good, of Doing Things Wrong, and given the way humans are often in casual situations being laughed at. When Kennedy goes home she doesn’t sing along with any music she plays: she keeps her lips pressed together and at best enjoys other people singing (and maybe feels envious and demeaned because she can’t do it).  Now the thing is, the practical “skill” difference for Riley and Kennedy here at the beginning is minimal. But the Rileys will tend (if they like what they’re doing) to ROCKET UP THE SKILL LEVEL, because of the “practice is fun so it’s just the thing I do” - because there is always a bunch of validation and positive reinforcement in the act of doing whatever it is, be it doodling or singing or math.  The Kennedys won’t. In fact if they’re not lucky enough to have a good teacher, and one who can put a lot of this into perspective for them, they will tend to be inhibited. The worst time is when a Riley and a Kennedy are friends and sign up to learn together, and Riley takes off and Kennedy’s left sitting there feeling like she’s somehow Deeply Flawed.   And in fact the whole Doctrine of “It’s Just About How Hard You Work” will in and of itself become part of what inhibits them, because they will watch the Rileys - and even the Annas, Anna in this metaphor being the Totally Normal Student who never really exists - grasp things faster than they do, even if they ARE working hard. And this will HAPPEN. They will watch this reality happen in front of them … and then people say to them “oh, it’s all about how hard you work, dear.” And it’s like being gaslit. (Well, to be fair: it IS being gaslit, just without malice intended on the part of the people doing it.)  And that message is horribly horribly toxic: here Kennedy is, and she IS working hard, but she’s still not progressing as fast as Riley or Anna no matter what she does! But it’s All About Hard Work, right? So that must mean that no matter how hard she THINKS she’s working, she’s actually just lazy, or doesn’t want it enough. It’s clearly a moral flaw in her.  I actually have, personally, really good luck with teaching the Kennedys because I literally have this conversation with them when they come to my studio. I actually outright tell them: firstly, anyone who has working vocal chords can sing. Anyone who has working vocal chords and the ability to distinguish audio pitch can even sing on key in tune! But some people have an easy time learning this and some people have a hard time, and sometimes which it is has some relationship to, say, “early exposure to music” or whatever but sometimes it seems to be utterly fucking random - pure luck of the draw.  You CAN SING. The capability is there. And if you want to we will find out how to make it happen. It might not happen as fast as for some other person, it might take more work, it might take more care, but that’s okay: that’s not your fault, that doesn’t mean you’re NOT working hard, but it does mean that here at the beginning we do things like recalibrate victories, we make your progress about YOU, not about Riley or Anna.  But I’m also not going to gaslight you or make you feel like you’re either delusional or somehow especially So Terrible You Don’t Fit In The Rest Of The World: sure, I’ve got some Riley-types who walk in here, noodle around, and we go on to Art Songs. They exist.  So what? Tall people exist. People with broad shoulders exist. People with dark hair exist. Physical embodiment and neurology hand out luck of the genetic roulette with no interest in outcomes. If you’re born blonde, it’s always going to take more work for you to have brown hair than someone born with brown hair, but much like dyeing your hair to match what you want, we can train the muscles of your voice and the neural pathways for hearing to do what you want.  The differences between Rileys and Kennedys are very small. If Riley didn’t discover she liked singing and Kennedy worked at it for years then no, Riley would not “start out” as good as Kennedy is after those years. And you can be Riley and if you DON’T do the fucking work, the Annas of the world especially will blast past you and leave you in the dust.  But on the other hand the Rileys get this wonderful cycle of positive reinforcement that does often start from a place of their coincidental physical embodiment giving them a slight leg up. And pretending that’s not the case does a big disservice to the Kennedys.  We just absolutely do need to reframe that for what it is (a tiny fundamental difference and then a HELL OF A LOT OF “this is fun so I practice more so I get more validation so I -” and more or less no moral meaning at all), what it doesn’t mean, and how to compensate for it. 
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Africa, Asian, and Ass: <p><a href="http://the-independent-jew.tumblr.com/post/149761986500/freakygeekyblerd-tashabilities" class="tumblr_blog">the-independent-jew</a>:</p> <blockquote><p><a class="tumblr_blog" href="http://freakygeekyblerd.tumblr.com/post/122019760189">freakygeekyblerd</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a class="tumblr_blog" href="http://tashabilities.tumblr.com/post/122014794210">tashabilities</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a class="tumblr_blog" href="http://flirtswithstrangers.tumblr.com/post/122012219886">flirtswithstrangers</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a class="tumblr_blog" href="http://lilihopebird.tumblr.com/post/115621165048">lilihopebird</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a class="tumblr_blog" href="http://inflammatorystatements.tumblr.com/post/52181532808">inflammatorystatements</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a class="tumblr_blog" href="http://oakttree.tumblr.com/post/52181078139">oakttree</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a class="tumblr_blog" href="http://timseriladashmimeni.tumblr.com/post/52180387587">timseriladashmimeni</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p>i’m gonna type up a quick rant on ‘white Jews’ here.</p> <p>this is a picture of me. most of you have seen me before. the majority of you also know that i’m a Mizrahi-Maghrebi Jew, meaning i find my roots* both in the Jews of the Mashriq and the Jews of the Maghreb. more specifically, i’m ethnically from both Iraq and Morocco. so if i’m Middle Eastern and North African, why is my skin so light?<i><br/></i></p> <p>the short, angry answer is that Jews aren’t white and white people don’t have lighter features patented. maybe you guys haven’t been clued in, but white as a concept does not mean light skin.</p> <p>have any of you ever seen Laila Mourad? she was a Mizrahi (Iraqi) Jew who was probably even lighter than i am.</p> <div> <img src="http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/thumb/e/ea/Laila_mourad.jpg/220px-Laila_mourad.jpg" alt=""/><p>i guess Laila is white too, huh?</p> <p>do you know where my coloring comes from? if you say Europe or white people, then you’re wrong. my coloring comes from Morocco—specifically my Amazigh ancestry. Amazigh is usually called ‘Berber’ in English (i don’t like that word in the least) and it’s basically indigenous people of North Africa. here are some pictures of Imazighen: </p> <img src="http://amazigh-boy.webs.com/photos/Azul/1530218318%5B1%5D.jpg" alt=""/><img src="http://www.democratic-republicans.us/images/Berber-girl.jpg" alt=""/><img src="http://gallery.photo.net/photo/7133845-lg.jpg" alt=""/><p>we are diverse in facial features and coloring—but at the end of the day, we aren’t white. we aren’t even TREATED white by any of you—so why should we force ourselves to identify as white?</p> <p>you don’t own my light skin. you don’t own my blue eyes. you don’t own my brown hair. you sure as hell don’t want to own my clearly Jewish nose or my Jewish facial structure—so what makes you think you can own the coloring passed down to me via the Imazighen who’ve lived in Africa forever? </p> <p>you don’t get to colonize our identities and features too.</p> <p>*all Jews find their ultimate roots in the Middle East, ‘even’ Ashkenazi Jews. </p> <p>also this is a really poorly written post, i’m just annoyed at goyim ugh</p> </div> </blockquote> <p>“all ethnic jewish find their roots in the middle east, even ashkenazi jews”</p> <p>and we are <i>all jews</i>, no matter what colour we are, no matter whether that colour is light or dark</p> </blockquote> <p>The Jewish people are like skittles. Feel the rainbow. Taste the rainbow. </p> </blockquote> <p>As a Syrian-Iranian Jew (with a white catholic mother) I just…thank you. I’m actually crying right now because thank you because tumblr has shown me so so so much and given me such a gift of saying ‘your identity is valid and you are real and…just thank you’ *weeps*</p> </blockquote> <p>Question : how does this negate any privilege you may have by being percieved as white?</p> <p>I dont understand these posts truly i dont. Because it seems like ur trying to distance urself from whiteness which really isnt based on heritage more so how not black you are</p> <p>Again privilege is how society views you. Its not a controllable immutable thing. And to try and distance uraelf from said privilege is really insulting to me</p> </blockquote> <p>This is a big ass Not Me dance.</p> <p>If you present as white, phenotypically and you get white privilege because of it, you white.</p> <p>Cut the bullshit.</p> </blockquote> <p>Exactly! In fact OP’s WHITE slip is showing because she played that tired I’m part this and ¾ that and half this and that derail that Euro descended white people love to use. Regardless of her ancestral heritage the white-passing privilege that she enjoys TODAY still stands and she has to own that if really she wants to keep it real. Otherwise, this is just more narcissistic myopic mewling from someone who is mad that her disingenuousness isn’t being treated as a fact for her convenience. FOH! Foreign Becky!</p> </blockquote> <ul><li><i>“whiteness… really isnt based on heritage more so how not black you are”</i></li></ul><p>As a black Jew, I’d like to take this moment to say:<b> what the fuck?!?!? </b> <br/></p><p>How “not black you are”?????</p><p>I didn’t realize white and black were the only two options now?  I guess Asians, indigenous peoples, MENA people, Latinx people, etc all just don’t exist?????</p><p><b>You could have just said: <i>“I think that the world consists of only the continental US.”</i>  It would have gotten the same point across.</b></p><p>OP isn’t even talking about privilege you fucking walnut.  Yes, white passing people benefit from conditional privilege due to how they are perceived at first glance.<b>  </b>That doesn’t make them White.  It doesn’t make them suffer less from the effects of White supremacy movements and ideas. <br/></p><p><b>Furthermore, as a ethno-religious group, Jews are not seen as white by in large.  Despite individual skin tone.<br/></b></p><p>We make up 60% of religious hate crime victims in the us despite being 1% of the population.  In France, Jews are the victims of <b>50% of ALL hate crimes </b>despite, again, being only 1% of the population.</p><ul><li><i>“OP’s WHITE slip is showing because she played that tired I’m part this and ¾ that and half this“</i></li></ul><p>Fucking where? All OP said is that she is part indigenous Moroccan (Amazigh). Guess what?  <b>Mixed people exist outside of the “black person and white person made a baby” dichotomy from hell.  </b>Or are you just too lazy to google what “Maghreb” and “Mashriq” are?</p><ul><li><i>“this is just more narcissistic myopic mewling from someone who is mad that her disingenuousness isn’t being treated as a fact for her convenience.”</i></li></ul><p>Says the race-policing fuckwad.<br/></p><p>As OP said, <b>Europeans don’t own light features. <br/></b></p><p><b>This is an Amazigh child:<br/></b></p><figure data-orig-width="599" data-orig-height="399" class="tmblr-full"><img data-orig-width="599" data-orig-height="399" src="https://78.media.tumblr.com/830e0bb292fe7dea5aa495d48cb6ce49/tumblr_inline_ocsl3nhLc91sk7lfk_540.jpg"/></figure><p>This is a Yazidi woman:</p><figure data-orig-width="980" data-orig-height="552" class="tmblr-full"><img data-orig-width="980" data-orig-height="552" src="https://78.media.tumblr.com/6fde27484e8476ff22fc24dab74122e6/tumblr_inline_ocsl4hSFnw1sk7lfk_540.jpg"/></figure><p>This is a Syrian-Kurdish girl:<br/></p><figure data-orig-width="964" data-orig-height="681" class="tmblr-full"><img data-orig-width="964" data-orig-height="681" src="https://78.media.tumblr.com/edc3530d20c622b36ea2c93abc9eed0c/tumblr_inline_ocsl75ppwu1sk7lfk_540.jpg"/></figure><p>NONE are European.<br/></p><p>Having a “light” skin tone does not negate ethnicity and certainly doesn’t protect you from antisemitism or other ethnic-based racist violence. </p><h2><b>STOP POLICING OTHER PEOPLE’S (ESPECIALLY JEWS) ETHNIC IDENTITIES HOLY FUCKING SHIT!</b></h2></blockquote> <p>But seriously Tumblr really needs to stop this. You cannot just assume somebody&rsquo;s heritage based on how their skin color appears to you. There are people who are black, Latino, Middle Eastern, Asian, etc. and &ldquo;look white&rdquo;. My aunt is so light-skinned when I was a kid I thought she was white, but no she&rsquo;s definitely black. Her ancestors were black slaves. She is a bona fide African-American in every sense of the word. You do not get to tell someone with their ethnic heritage is simply by looking at them, and if you don&rsquo;t know shit about a complete strangers I think identity, then you shouldn&rsquo;t say shit about it. I am sick and tired of seeing these SJW cretins jumping down people&rsquo;s throats for the &ldquo;cultural appropriation&rdquo; of a culture tumblr assumes doesn&rsquo;t belong to them because of course they couldn&rsquo;t possibly part of that culture due to their skin tone. You want to be anti-racist so bad but you are forever making complete assumptions based on nothing but your uninformed opinion about a strangers skin tone. </p><figure class="tmblr-full" data-orig-width="547" data-orig-height="308" data-tumblr-attribution="rivka-kopelman:mm6CJMZnqDLiuel3f01yfQ:ZoE9Zm1ssuTst" data-orig-src="https://78.media.tumblr.com/a0f4bbb9b5694792fcf4cf6073238a54/tumblr_nt7u51vGuH1tls8aro1_1280.gif"><img src="https://78.media.tumblr.com/a0f4bbb9b5694792fcf4cf6073238a54/tumblr_inline_ocsr0hSHG91rw09tq_540.gif" data-orig-width="547" data-orig-height="308" data-orig-src="https://78.media.tumblr.com/a0f4bbb9b5694792fcf4cf6073238a54/tumblr_nt7u51vGuH1tls8aro1_1280.gif"/></figure>
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Fake, Gif, and Girls: And they say girls with brown hair can't wear jeans G 4/24/16, 8:44 PM <p><a class="tumblr_blog" href="http://memewhore.tumblr.com/post/143669920622" target="_blank">memewhore</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a class="tumblr_blog" href="http://madeupmonkeyshit.tumblr.com/post/143659609048" target="_blank">madeupmonkeyshit</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p>???WHO SAID THAT????</p> <figure class="tmblr-full"><img src="https://78.media.tumblr.com/995e6a15418dd952831b5a65bf903d7a/tumblr_inline_o6h65c47KK1r0q3j1_500.gif" class=""/></figure></blockquote> <p>Here you go…</p> <div class="media-holder media-holder-draggable media-holder-figure" contenteditable="false" draggable="true" style="display: block;"> <figure class="tmblr-full" data-orig-height="818" data-orig-width="720"><img src="https://78.media.tumblr.com/07bf23512183e8ea9ffa588a987da3b1/tumblr_inline_o6hi739tFo1qhmbbn_540.jpg" data-img-key="262" data-orig-height="818" data-orig-width="720"/></figure><div class="media-button icon_close media-killer"></div> </div> <p class="fake"><br/></p> <div class="media-holder media-holder-draggable media-holder-figure" contenteditable="false" draggable="true" style="display: block;"> <figure class="tmblr-full" data-orig-height="655" data-orig-width="720"><img src="https://78.media.tumblr.com/66d4f6368fd77b0d61641b238f3c47e9/tumblr_inline_o6hi7jJ9Sy1qhmbbn_540.jpg" data-img-key="263" data-orig-height="655" data-orig-width="720"/></figure><div class="media-button icon_close media-killer"></div> </div> <p class="fake"><br/></p> <div class="media-holder media-holder-draggable media-holder-figure" contenteditable="false" draggable="true" style="display: block;"> <figure class="tmblr-full" data-orig-height="1280" data-orig-width="720"><img src="https://78.media.tumblr.com/cb196b7fd26293462009984a57c159fe/tumblr_inline_o6hi80Jo0m1qhmbbn_540.png" data-img-key="264" data-orig-height="1280" data-orig-width="720"/></figure><div class="media-button icon_close media-killer"></div> </div> <p class="fake"><br/></p> </blockquote>
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