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Drugs, Funny, and Heaven: promised to take them to his planet Florida couple arrested for selling tickets to heaven 4 A couple in Florida, Tito and Amanda me some money to go to outer space. Watts, were arrested a few days ago for I met an allen named Stevie, who said selling golden tickets to heaven to hundreds of people if I got the cash together he would take me and my wife on his flying saucer to They sold the tickets on the street for his planet that is made entirely of drugs. 599.99 (about sh390,000) per ticket, told You should arrest Jesus because he is the buyers the tickets were made from solid one that gave me the golden tickess. I am gold, and that each ticket reserved thewilling to wear a wire and set Jesus up" buyer a spot in heaven simply present In her police statement, Amanda Watts the ticket at the pearly gates and you are said: "We just wanted to leave carth and in. Tito Watts said in his police statement: anything, Tito sold the golden tickets to "I do not care what the Police say Theheaven. I just watched tickets are solid gold. And it was Jesus Police said they confiscated över who gave them to me behind the KFC S10,000 (sh39m) in cash, drug and told me to sell them so I could get paraphemalia and a baby alligator go to space and do drugs. I did not do e loki-against-onision: manic: loloftheday: If you think the headline is funny, read the article. Reblog if Jesus gave you solid gold tickets to Heaven behind a KFC

loki-against-onision: manic: loloftheday: If you think the headline is funny, read the article. Reblog if Jesus gave you solid gold tic...

Drugs, Funny, and Heaven: promised to take them to his planet Florida couple arrested for selling tickets to heaven 4 A couple in Florida, Tito and Amanda me some money to go to outer space. Watts, were arrested a few days ago for I met an allen named Stevie, who said selling golden tickets to heaven to hundreds of people if I got the cash together he would take me and my wife on his flying saucer to They sold the tickets on the street for his planet that is made entirely of drugs. 599.99 (about sh390,000) per ticket, told You should arrest Jesus because he is the buyers the tickets were made from solid one that gave me the golden tickess. I am gold, and that each ticket reserved thewilling to wear a wire and set Jesus up" buyer a spot in heaven simply present In her police statement, Amanda Watts the ticket at the pearly gates and you are said: "We just wanted to leave carth and in. Tito Watts said in his police statement: anything, Tito sold the golden tickets to "I do not care what the Police say Theheaven. I just watched tickets are solid gold. And it was Jesus Police said they confiscated över who gave them to me behind the KFC S10,000 (sh39m) in cash, drug and told me to sell them so I could get paraphemalia and a baby alligator go to space and do drugs. I did not do e loki-against-onision: manic: loloftheday: If you think the headline is funny, read the article. Reblog if Jesus gave you solid gold tickets to Heaven behind a KFC

loki-against-onision: manic: loloftheday: If you think the headline is funny, read the article. Reblog if Jesus gave you solid gold tic...

Counter Strike, Fuck You, and Fucking: 11:25 13:12 sharpest jello kitchen knife insharpest carbon fiber kitchen the world 圧倒的不妾者の極み! 10,447,009 views 2 months ago knife in the world 圧倒的不妾者の極み! 13,634,525 views 2 months ago 11:48 11:15 sharpest Cardboard kitchen knife in the world 圧倒的不妾者の極み! 12,212,340 views 1 month ago Sharpening a 1 knife with S 300 Whetstone 圧倒的不妾者の極み! 3,047,043 views 7 months ago 8:27 sharpest ice kitchen knife in the world 圧倒的不審者の極み! 5,246,153 views 2 months ago sharpest Aluminium foil kitchen knife in the world 圧倒的不審者の極み! 4,598,865 views 3 months ago synthicyde: karpad: darkbookworm13: feedmecomicart: webbut: seelcudoom: transgirlnausicaa: durbikins: Counter Strike: Global Offensive this guys videos are fucking incredible i really want everyone to watch them this man is like midas but with knives instead of gold, he can make anything a knife, sicssor knives ,ice knives, cardboard knives, tiny knives if it can be made into a knife he will do it, and if he cant, he will do it anyway because fuck you This doesn’t even have the best one. One time he made a knife out of ravioli then proceeded to use the knife made out of ravioli to cut up cheese and tomatoes and basil and shit then took the ravioli knife that he had used to cut up his other ingredients and cooked said knife with those ingredients and ate the fucking knife! ate the fucking knife nah, his best one? he made a knife out of smoke. You know how to sharpen smoke? this guy does. Let’s not forget everything else in his videos. The googly eyes he puts on things His cow jugs The empty fridge that only contains Jack Daniels Chocolate That one time a bear figurine possessed with a demon would attack him if he didn’t pet it so he had to build a machine that constantly rolled the bear against brushes so he would be safe long enough to finish the knife
Bad, Fucking, and God: Sexy Bible Quotes, Inspired by Some Birds my Friend saw Fucking Outside her House, ao3tagoftheday: oxymoronicromantic: ao3tagoftheday: [Image Description: Tags reading “sexy bible quotes, inspired by some birds my friend saw fucking outside her house”] The AO3 Tag of the Day is: This is one hell of a non-sequitor “On the day when the Lord spoke to Moses in the land of Egypt, 29 the Lord said to Moses, “I am the Lord; tell Pharaoh king of Egypt all that I say to you.” 30 But Moses said to the Lord, “Behold, I am of uncircumcised lips. How will Pharaoh listen to me?” 7 And the Lord said to Moses, “See, I have made you like God to Pharaoh, and your brother Aaron shall be your prophet. 2 You shall speak all that I command you, and your brother Aaron shall tell Pharaoh to let the people of Israel go out of his land.” …I don’t think it’s telling anyone that they’re doing activism wrong???? Anyways. Song of Songs is sexier. Ok! First off, thanks for putting the verses in; that makes my life easier! Second, Song of Songs is undoubtedly sexy, but the phrase “uncircumcised lips” is much sexier. Here’s why:“Uncircumcised lips” is a literal translation of the Hebrew, and scholars have spent millennia trying to figure out what the fuck it means. Because, like, it’s a weird fucking phrase, let’s be real. Actually, let’s all take a moment to imagine what that might physically look like. We deserve it.Anyway, back on topic. Most scholars have ended up interpreting it as saying that Moses has some kind of speech impediment. But that’s really a stretch. I mean, if that’s what was meant, why not say, “a man of broken speech” or something like that? No, I think the meaning of that phrase is a lot simpler.Circumcision is the sign of the Jewish covenant with G-d. In this period of the Bible, after G-d and Abraham made the covenant but before the Law was given at Mt. Sinai, circumcision was the single, defining thing that set the Jewish people apart from everyone else. So what does it mean to have uncircumcised lips? I submit that to speak with uncircumcised lips is to speak with a non-Jewish voice.But Moses is Jewish! Why would his voice not be? Because, Moses is unique among the Jewish people. He wasn’t raised as a slave. That’s what the Jewish people are in this period and have been for hundreds of years. They’re slaves. For generations, that slavery has defined and warped their culture. Moses has never been a slave and has never lived among his people who are. He may be Jewish, but his understanding of his people, and therefore his ability to speak for them, is non-existent.So G-d tells Moses to speak to Pharoah on behalf of the Jewish people and Moses says no. How will he speak for his people, advocate for them, demand their freedom, when he can’t speak with their voice? He can’t do it and he tells G-d no. No, I won’t speak for the slaves when I am free. It’s not my place.So what does G-d say? He says Moses is right. He tells Moses to give G-d’s message to Aaron, a man who has been a slave all his life, and let Aaron go to Pharoah and speak for the Jewish people. Because Aaron is of them, understands them, their pain, their oppression, in a way that Moses, a free man, can’t and never will. Aaron speaks with a truly Jewish voice, with circumcised lips, so he must be the one who speaks for the Jewish people.So basically, G-d tells Moses to speak over an oppressed group he isn’t a part of, Moses says “no that’s bad activism”, and G-d says “you’re right oppressed people should speak and direct their own fight against oppression.”In conclusion, sure, the Song of Songs is sexy, but have you ever tried telling G-d that he needs to work harder to prioritize marginalized voices?