🔥 Popular | Latest

Adam Sandler, Alive, and Animals: Johnny Boy 'limbo', Marston Arthur More Organ Holland Hoseas Before Broseas swagalicious crunchy outside, self-deprecating chewy center - "how many licks does it take the squad's favorite disaster scrappy damsel squares up at a moment's notice can never seem to get their shit together to get to the center of my depression" goth jock dropout just wants to settle down - - dumbest smart person alive - denies being moe - "wanna know how I got these scars- wait where are you going" - makes 50+ post twitter threads nobody reads just needs a break - "Actually, correlation is not causation" - thinks they're charming, is actually charming - constantly forgets their age - "back in my day - only one who knows what the fuck they're talking about incredible artist, thinks their stuff is 'okay' still needs to shut the fuck up - one shot, one kill - "once I go viral it's over for you hoes" - has a 'Home Is Where The Heart Is' welcome mat-liked by practically everybody - productive procrastinator can never hold down a relationship - Instant Uncle, Just Add Baby suffers from chronic pushover syndrome "no questions, dammit, no questions" - jokes hit too close to home - Good bad influence - weed friend Make It Work Guy Fieri Will Billiamson Bad Santa -always knows what to play at a party - adopts everyone on sight - great with kids, great with animals, wants to hold your baby - scientific evidence good girls want bad boys - tsundere - burns salads - "have you eaten today" - owns etsy account, too busy to make anything - punches self for fun - professional alcoholic - always needs to borrow money - terrible drunk, never remembers what happened that night walks around the house in their underwear gives great hugs needs seven showers group's unexpected therapist patronus is secondhand embarrassment just wants to be part of the family "MCDONALD'S! MCDONALD'S! MCDONALD'S!"* is the party cultured, well-traveled and stylish; made for Instagram - *gestures to all of you* "we need to do something about this" - always starts drama, yet always seems to avoid it bad taste in literally everything, banned from recommending outings - will always have squad's back iron constitution, never gets sick - "say that to my fucking face" - may seem Mad, is actually Sad petty *pulls up in drive-thru, orders single starts the day with horoscope readings - Chaotic Loyal black coffee, leaves t" FUCKS.EXE STOPPED WORKING 'mSorry Ms. Jackson tOh) Bastard Millennial Green Hat McGuy "join team chat" - fashionable at all times, even when going to the grocery store can't do crime if you ain't cute -only dates fictional men won't leave the house for days need lives on cow tales and TVTropes says they can hold their liquor regularly tells squad to hydrate can't actually hold their liquor too nice for own good living boke and tsukkomi routine to shut up yesterday social interaction, naps for ten years it's basic hygiene and laying beneath the stars -"please stop talking" exhausted after two minutes of maybe they're born with it, maybe soft spot for animals, slow dancing cooler than you . living proof the scariest people frat brotryhard nerd gem fusion come in the nicest packages graceful loser, even more graceful winner - "what day is it again" nobody sees clapbacks coming until it's never learned how to drive every day is roast session day - "I'll roast you, I'll roast them, I'll roast me fuckin' self" - Has never completed No Nut November sings in the shower - adores Linkin Park late - "are you ready yet" "almost" - allergic to idiots Adam Sandler Regina O'George Let Me Speak To Your Manager - retired mom friend, back from retirement ages every time someone references a vine instead of responding normally - smokes sixty packs a day Goof Troop social norms are for dweebs just wants to play videogames - No Drama? No ProblemTM -"Local Mean Girl Refuses To Be Toppled From Throne" - loses shit over small things -THIS close to cutting someone and snack in peace shoves people in lockers to show affection forgets not to swear in front of other never forgets a birthday shaped like a friend only one in squad who can cook only one in squad who can drive people's children the queen of throwing down "fuck, sorry about that" given up on romance savwy businessowner resident gossip big problems are Whatever - needs therapy - Favorite Songs Are 'Find Me Somebody- smells amazing To Love' And 'Before He Cheats' common sense frequently left on read - hasn't seen most popular movies - a matryoshka of pain - wishes you didn't look like a dump truck knows Wicked by heart - only one in squad who does taxes Songs Are unforgiveable weeb - villain origin story is that stubborn chin hair that keeps growing back - always says 'gg' after every game incredible skin care regimen - "just drink more water" award winning sailor mouth - Big Hair, Don't Care "What's My Age Again" by Blink 182 World's Saddest Violin Bullshit Magician Expletive Noises Looks like a million dollars, is probably worth a million dollars - family person, loves everybody keeps Twitter on private - meows back at their cat - extroverted introvert -feels guilty for not logging into Animal Crossing for nine months thinks existence is kind of funny invented the word 'dapper - the living embodiment of when you try your best but you don't succeed' - just wants to be loved and cherished -great with animals, never scratched the life of the party, when they're not launching into drunken diatribes -smartest smart person alive -stays up until three in the morning thinking about the meaning of life - an essential addition to any squad - reads at 10,000 miles per hour wants to stab Banksy hates stan culture hoards comfort food beneath their desk gets sentimental over their Neopets used to hoard Beanie Babies - hates answering the phone - silently lurks in Twitch chatrooms - needs more friends - stylish drunk with two hollow legs - never fails to speak their mind great at impressions -not-so-secretly depressed - regularly confuses main for private "just forget I said that haha" preserves their right hook for justice - stared into the void, got bored quotes movies when provoked - "That's just, like, your opinion, man." the most perfect teeth Baby Boy...Baby Talk Shit, Get Hit Mr. Krabs A Dog - soft outside, softer inside - never ashamed to cry - weak spot for pups, needs to pet every dog they see -only one of the squad that's been punched squad's resident cheapskate needs to seriously reconsider things trolling game out of control A dog - never seems to accumulate debt, also never tips the waiter took college prep in high school - can't fight to save their life - surprisingly terrifying comebacks - multilingual gg ez clap" oves Bon Iver, Death Grips and Beyonce equally - Kappa Kappa KappaRoss CoolStoryBob workplace's local kissass likes to give gifts to sad friends living embodiment of a flower crown talks during movies home life is a mess - needs a vacation, too self-conscious - doesn't flush toilets in public bathrooms to take one - adopted by everybody - "Oh, I won't report you...yet" believes they were born in the wrong era - has never yelled once - in love with the smell of old books - wishes on stars when no one's looking leaves breadcrumbs in butter a well-rounded tool - nobody knows why they keep getting invited"Poverty is a state of mind." champagnesuperhoeva: red dead redemption 2 tag yourself masterpost now all in one spot for your convenient bullshit needs tag your chronic pain, tag your panic attacks, tag your existential crisis  I am all of these yet none of them at the same time
Save
Climbing, Creepy, and Dude: 4:00:56 4:01:40 4:01:26 4:02:14 4:02:51 Sitting and Smiling #218 19,974 views 2 days ago Sitting and Smiling #217 19,961 views 4 days ago Sitting and Smiling #216 12,200 views 5 days ago Sitting and Smiling #215 12,609 views 6 days ago Sitting and Smiling #214 37,252 views 1 week ago 4:02:37 4:01:40 4:02:32 4:02:41 4:02:16 Sitting and Smiling #213 30,742 views 2 weeks ago Sitting and Smiling #212 17,316 views 3 weeks ago Sitting and Smiling #211 18,850 views 3 weeks ago Sitting and Smiling #210 19,544 views 3 weeks ago Sitting and Smiling #209 35,082 views 1 month ago 4:01:55 4:01:31 4:01:11 4:02:42 4:03:56 Sitting and Smiling #208 25,193 views 1 month ago Sitting and Smiling #207 88,097 views 1 month ago Sitting and Smiling #206 20,924 views 1 month ago Sitting and Smiling #205 17,728 views 1 month ago Sitting and Smiling #204 36,343 views 1 month ago thefingerfuckingfemalefury: phoneus: every1one: moonlandingwasfaked: jasper-rolls: today in “youtube’s recommendation algorithm completely misunderstands what i’m interested in”: i am recommended a channel consisting entirely of livestreams of a creepy dude sitting in a corner and just staring at the camera for 4 hours, 3 times a week a robber broke into his house and he didn’t stop recording and the robber got so creeped out he left. the video is on his YouTube somewhere https://youtu.be/tmrXakd_r6I?t=9391 here “This episode of Sitting and Smiling features a very special guest.About 2.5 hours into the webcast, I hear someone come into thehouse, which is odd, because my only housemate is at work, and we aren’t expecting anyone. I realize I didn’t check to see if the doors were locked before starting the webcast. I hear the person stealthily moving around the house, and then I hear them stealthily climbing the stairs, towards my room. My door opens, and I hear an unfamiliar malevoice say “Hello?”. Then, after presumably seeing me sitting still and smiling in front of a camera, lit from beneath by a florescent bulb, he promptly descends the stairs and exits the house. You can see this happen at 2:36:30 As it turns out, the doors were locked, and he had broken one open. We found nothing missing, as there is not really anything of value in the house other than the laptop I was using to webcast.“ I’m howling The robber legitimately thinks they just walked into a creepypasta and they made the wise choice of getting the hell out of there
Save
Amazon, Bad, and Cats: ashley Follow ashley bene read & rt if you have a pup!! Amazon '11令 2:16 PM 2 hrs WARNING! Saturday night I got home late and my dog didn't recognize me. Being a nanny I thought I woke him up and he was having a night terror. Sunday he was still acting weird. I realized I had been running my new diffuser and decided to turn it off. Sunday afternoon he was feeling better. Today at work my dog sitter said he wouldn't come out from beneath the bed (very odd behavior for this happy guy). I came home from work early and again he was very confused about who I was so I took him to emergency. Turns out the tea tree oil I was using in the diffuser is toxic for dogs. I didn't even put on his body. Thankfully tests show that his liver is okay but we aren't out of the woods yet. It is a full 72 hours after exposure. He was given fluids under his skin to try to clear out the toxins. The vet and poison control say they are seeing more and more of these cases as the popularity of essential oils is growing. Please be sure the essential oils you are using are not toxic for dogs or cats (you can find a list online... turns out tea tree is one of the worst). I am very upset so I would appreciate it if people didn't condemn me as a bad puppy mommy, but I wanted to share as to not have anybody else's babies go through this. Brandon Evers @BrandonEvrs Follow Tea tree oils are toxic for pets! For dogs: Clove Garlic Juniper Rosemary Tea Tree Thyme Wintergreen For cats: Cassia Cinnamon Citrus Clove Eucalyptus Lemon Lavender Peppermint Spruce Tea Tree Thyme ashley @ashley_benel read & rt if you have a pup!! 12:38 PM-2 Aug 2018 18,360 Retweets 16,881 Likes imfemalewarrior: sokerikeiju: gahdamnpunk: PLUS!!: Toxic for rabbits: Anise, Clove, Oregano, Tea Tree, Wintergreen Safe for rabbits: Lavender, lemon, orange, fennel,  eucalyptus and peppermint, all should be diluted with water! I’ve posted this once or twice but this is important info 💕 For pet owners following me! -FemaleWarrior

imfemalewarrior: sokerikeiju: gahdamnpunk: PLUS!!: Toxic for rabbits: Anise, Clove, Oregano, Tea Tree, Wintergreen Safe for rabbits: Lave...

Save
Norway, Water, and Whale: Fin whale vertebrae beneath the water of a lake in Svalbard, Norway

Fin whale vertebrae beneath the water of a lake in Svalbard, Norway

Save
Bailey Jay, Climbing, and Creepy: 4:00:56 4:01:40 4:01:26 4:02:14 4:02:51 Sitting and Smiling #218 19,974 views 2 days ago Sitting and Smiling #217 19,961 views 4 days ago Sitting and Smiling #216 12,200 views 5 days ago Sitting and Smiling #215 12,609 views 6 days ago Sitting and Smiling #214 37,252 views 1 week ago 4:02:37 4:01:40 4:02:32 4:02:41 4:02:16 Sitting and Smiling #213 30,742 views 2 weeks ago Sitting and Smiling #212 17,316 views 3 weeks ago Sitting and Smiling #211 18,850 views 3 weeks ago Sitting and Smiling #210 19,544 views 3 weeks ago Sitting and Smiling #209 35,082 views 1 month ago 4:01:55 4:01:31 4:01:11 4:02:42 4:03:56 Sitting and Smiling #208 25,193 views 1 month ago Sitting and Smiling #207 88,097 views 1 month ago Sitting and Smiling #206 20,924 views 1 month ago Sitting and Smiling #205 17,728 views 1 month ago Sitting and Smiling #204 36,343 views 1 month ago thefingerfuckingfemalefury: phoneus: every1one: moonlandingwasfaked: jasper-rolls: today in “youtube’s recommendation algorithm completely misunderstands what i’m interested in”: i am recommended a channel consisting entirely of livestreams of a creepy dude sitting in a corner and just staring at the camera for 4 hours, 3 times a week a robber broke into his house and he didn’t stop recording and the robber got so creeped out he left. the video is on his YouTube somewhere https://youtu.be/tmrXakd_r6I?t=9391 here “This episode of Sitting and Smiling features a very special guest.About 2.5 hours into the webcast, I hear someone come into thehouse, which is odd, because my only housemate is at work, and we aren’t expecting anyone. I realize I didn’t check to see if the doors were locked before starting the webcast. I hear the person stealthily moving around the house, and then I hear them stealthily climbing the stairs, towards my room. My door opens, and I hear an unfamiliar malevoice say “Hello?”. Then, after presumably seeing me sitting still and smiling in front of a camera, lit from beneath by a florescent bulb, he promptly descends the stairs and exits the house. You can see this happen at 2:36:30 As it turns out, the doors were locked, and he had broken one open. We found nothing missing, as there is not really anything of value in the house other than the laptop I was using to webcast.“ I’m howling The robber legitimately thinks they just walked into a creepypasta and they made the wise choice of getting the hell out of there
Save
England, Funny, and Parents: " You are now listening to a three-hour-old chick giving its opinion of things in general." yesterdaysprint: mjsloveslave: yesterdaysprint: Good Morning by the Daily Mirror, England, April 4, 1944 England was at WAR and managed to do this? Really?  Good Morning was actually a paper made by the Daily Mirror just for the men serving on submarines! They were made ahead of time by the Mirror staff and bundled up and numbered for each day, and then the four page paper would be given to the men serving on the submarines every evening.  They had human interest stories, comics, puzzles. Happy stuff. Sometimes the journalists would go visit servicemen’s families and get a picture of their wives and kids or parents or pets, and that’d go in the paper too. Then each day there was usually, among other pictures on the back page, an attractive lady and also a funny animal picture. Here’s a good article about it: The sailors sat tensely waiting to die.  Their boat had been blasted by a depth charge, lost all power and sunk to the ocean floor. Knowing they probably had little time left, the men asked if they might read all the as-yet unseen copies of the daily submariners’ paper currently locked in the safe.  The chief petty officers agreed – how could they not? – and ripped open package after package of editions of ‘Good Morning’, which the ship’s company were soon devouring in the gloom.  Suddenly power was restored, the sailors were saved and the boat surfaced, albeit with her messes spilling over with tabloid newsprint. Amongst the Royal Navy submariners, the paper’s importance cannot be overplayed. “The effect on crew morale was significant,” said Royal Navy Submarine Museum archivist George Malcolmson, who has a complete bound set of every edition that rolled off the presses.“The Daily Mirror stepped in just when the service needed it most.

yesterdaysprint: mjsloveslave: yesterdaysprint: Good Morning by the Daily Mirror, England, April 4, 1944 England was at WAR and managed to ...

Save
Being Alone, American Horror Story, and Blessed: I was starving my Sim and he sneakily called up for a pizza. When it was delivered I made him throw it in the garbage. Then he cried Breddit My teenage son decided waking up to his alarm and getting on the school bus was unimportant. So l locked him in a 1x1 room until he peed himself and died in the puddle. reddit Every time I play, I start with a "painting goblin." I make him morbidly obese with green skin. I make sure he has the following traits: likes to be alone, loves art, hates the outdoors. The first thing I do once l have enough money is build a small room in the basement, send him down there, and remove the stairs. I set him up in a tiny little area with only an easel, toilet, refrigerator, bed, shower, and trashcan. All he does all day is paint. That's it. He paints and paints and paints and paints. Eventually, his paintings become very good and worth a lot of money. Every few minutes I go downstairs and sel whatever painting he has finished, and then I return to playing the game. My family always ends up feeling very blessed because of their fortune, and they never find out about the horrible secret living beneath their home. reddit So, in my most recent Sims playthrough, I found this girl that I really wanted my Sim to marry. Problem is she already had a husband, so rather than just doing the (relatively) normal thing and convincing her to break up with him, I instead became best friends with her husband, convinced him to move in with me, and then drowned him in a pool so l could marry his wife. Then I moved in with his wife (who lived in a HUGE mansion) and killed the rest of her family because l didn't feel like taking care of the other Sims that she lived with but I still wanted the house. reddit One time l killed a Sim by drowning. Then I made everyone show up to his funeral in swimwear. reddit franklycats: American Horror Story: Sims

franklycats: American Horror Story: Sims

Save
Waiting..., Feet, and Beast: the toe goblin is an elusive beast which lurks beneath couches, waiting for a pair of unsuspecting feet to approach… submitted by: sakuuramochii

the toe goblin is an elusive beast which lurks beneath couches, waiting for a pair of unsuspecting feet to approach… submitted by: sakuuram...

Save
Bubba, Clock, and Crying: writing-prompt-s You're in charge of assigning every child on Earth the monster under their bed. One child in particular has caused every monster assigned to him/her to quit. You decide to assign yourself. kittenwiskers Case: #273402 Status: Disastrous. I stare at the file and realize I have no options, over the last 2 years every monster assigned to Charlotte Dower has quit, every last one. Her first monster; a giant goldfish-faced humanoid named Bubba, had been with her for four years and then she wasn't scared of him anymore. After that it was a string of different common, uncommon, and rare monsters... I even assigned a sentient sock monster to her. He came back crying! I look on my tablet, only one assignable monster left; myself. Field work has never been my cup of tea, but desperate times call for desperate measures. So at 8:03 pm, after Mrs. Gideon tucks in Charlotte and her little brother Daniel; I slither into the space beneath Charlotte's bed Across the room underneath Daniel's crib is a rookie, Chico, a standard Creep kind of monster. I turn my attention to the bed above me, Charlotte is still awake but barely, I reach up over the bed and run an ice cold finger over her cheek, silence, so I do it gain. "I'm not afraid of you monster!" She whispers, but her voice is shaking. I can see a small clock on the wall 8:14, a door somewhere in the house slams and there is an audible hitch of breath from above me. A few minutes go by I can hear Francis Gideon yelling at his wife. There are heavy footsteps on the stairs, and loud panting breaths, Charlotte scrambles off the bed and... She. CRAWLS. Under. The. Bed. With. Me. "Move. Over!" Charlotte hisses at me.I do. The door to the bedroom slams open and I smell the stench of human intoxicants before the man even steps inside. I know why Charlotte isn't afraid of any of my monsters; she's afraid of her own. Francis reaches a hand under the bed and I thrust my wrist into it, he starts to pull, I slither out. "What the..." I cut Francis's next words off by unfolding to my full 12 foot height. Looming over the drunken man I caress my cold fingers down his face. "If you ever touch, scare, or harm my child again, I will find you, and I will do the same to you, for all eternity." I promise to him. As Francis runs from the room he soils himself. I pull Charlotte from under the bed, tuck her back under her covers and kiss her forehead goodnight. "I'll be back tomorrow night, sleep well darling." Charlotte Dower is my child, I am the monster under her bed. The Monster Under the Bed

The Monster Under the Bed

Save