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The kind of parent I aspire to be: So I've been ruining my kids lives by saying "weird flex but ok to everything and when I do it they scream no and tell ma they're running away and I made this lovely photo lemme get it Weird flex but ok Ok so I need some help coming up with the absolute worst "to flex on" live memes ever to pretend Im an even more really lame parent. they don't have to make sense but they need to be absolutely awful yet believable enough that it isn't obvious Im intentionaly trying to be more lame Here's the ones I came up with so far "You ever just eat a well balanced diet and exercise daily to flex on heart disease? You ever just bol chilies to flex on your eyes? You ever just be cool to flex on your kids? "You ever just use sanitzer to flex on 99.9% of all bacteria and viruses?" You ever just turn all the lights and up the heater to flex on Dad? Catholic edition: You ever just ike recelve the sacraments frequently to flex on Satan? You ever just lke love your Mom to flex on Protestants? So l executed the first one in the kitchen then I dabbed and my son didn't say anything he just set down his pomegranate and walked out the front door with no shoes on and now he's walking down the street Ok so I walked down the block and I found him Update "'11 Boost令 9:36 PM That photo of u made it around the internet and you're famous Do you have a message from your fans. They want to hear from you Delivered Sen Help Message 0 Your son is named Egg Every part of this is hilarious 18,547 notes The kind of parent I aspire to be

The kind of parent I aspire to be

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<p><a href="https://boneydissapointment.tumblr.com/post/174363873590/teafortyler-teaenvy-dat-skinny-future-yes" class="tumblr_blog">boneydissapointment</a>:</p><blockquote> <p><a href="https://teafortyler.tumblr.com/post/171361044771/teaenvy-dat-skinny-future-yes-what-do-you-mean" class="tumblr_blog">teafortyler</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a href="https://teaenvy.tumblr.com/post/171358676133/dat-skinny-future-yes-what-do-you-mean-uhmm" class="tumblr_blog">teaenvy</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a href="https://dat-skinny-future.tumblr.com/post/171357023203/yes-what-do-you-mean" class="tumblr_blog">dat-skinny-future</a>:</p> <blockquote><p>yes wHAT DO YOU MEAN </p></blockquote> <p>uhmm no??? u need a healthy balanced diet wtf</p> <p>*</p> <figure class="tmblr-full" data-orig-height="800" data-orig-width="800"><img src="https://78.media.tumblr.com/df4095f804360b87612df87ef9c2181c/tumblr_inline_p4tyxvlPPW1vxp9d7_540.png" data-orig-height="800" data-orig-width="800"/></figure></blockquote> <p>This may be the funniest thing I’ve seen on tumblr</p> </blockquote> <p>Me</p> </blockquote>: s this a Meal <p><a href="https://boneydissapointment.tumblr.com/post/174363873590/teafortyler-teaenvy-dat-skinny-future-yes" class="tumblr_blog">boneydissapointment</a>:</p><blockquote> <p><a href="https://teafortyler.tumblr.com/post/171361044771/teaenvy-dat-skinny-future-yes-what-do-you-mean" class="tumblr_blog">teafortyler</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a href="https://teaenvy.tumblr.com/post/171358676133/dat-skinny-future-yes-what-do-you-mean-uhmm" class="tumblr_blog">teaenvy</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a href="https://dat-skinny-future.tumblr.com/post/171357023203/yes-what-do-you-mean" class="tumblr_blog">dat-skinny-future</a>:</p> <blockquote><p>yes wHAT DO YOU MEAN </p></blockquote> <p>uhmm no??? u need a healthy balanced diet wtf</p> <p>*</p> <figure class="tmblr-full" data-orig-height="800" data-orig-width="800"><img src="https://78.media.tumblr.com/df4095f804360b87612df87ef9c2181c/tumblr_inline_p4tyxvlPPW1vxp9d7_540.png" data-orig-height="800" data-orig-width="800"/></figure></blockquote> <p>This may be the funniest thing I’ve seen on tumblr</p> </blockquote> <p>Me</p> </blockquote>

<p><a href="https://boneydissapointment.tumblr.com/post/174363873590/teafortyler-teaenvy-dat-skinny-future-yes" class="tumblr_blog">boney...

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<p><a href="https://opinionatedvegan.tumblr.com/post/160456811484/malnutrition-as-hundreds-of-thousands-of-meat" class="tumblr_blog">opinionatedvegan</a>:</p> <blockquote><p>“Malnutrition” as hundreds of thousands of meat eaters die every year from diseases linked to meat, like cancer, heart disease, and diabetes. Sure, lmao</p></blockquote> <p>There goes that false sense of virtue. Seriously love it when people get riled up at a meme. There are studies that say veganism isn&rsquo;t all that healthy either. But that honestly depends on the individual. What works for some doesn&rsquo;t work for others as everyone has independent nutritional needs. I&rsquo;ve known plenty of vegans with iron deficiencies. Also many that despite living the lifestyle for years are still overweight and even more who were vegans, but had to stop, because -gasp- Malnutrition. But you know what else leads to cancer, heart disease, and diabetes? Genetics, enviorment, and lack of exercise. Implying people can&rsquo;t lead a healthy a life style with proper discipline or lean proteins and a balanced diet, despite plenty of studies implying otherwise. Sure, lmao</p>: VEGAN Compassion Nonviolence For the people For the planet For the animals THAT JUST SOUNDS LIKE MALNUTRITION ANDAFALSE SENSE OFVIRTUE WITH EXTRA STEPS <p><a href="https://opinionatedvegan.tumblr.com/post/160456811484/malnutrition-as-hundreds-of-thousands-of-meat" class="tumblr_blog">opinionatedvegan</a>:</p> <blockquote><p>“Malnutrition” as hundreds of thousands of meat eaters die every year from diseases linked to meat, like cancer, heart disease, and diabetes. Sure, lmao</p></blockquote> <p>There goes that false sense of virtue. Seriously love it when people get riled up at a meme. There are studies that say veganism isn&rsquo;t all that healthy either. But that honestly depends on the individual. What works for some doesn&rsquo;t work for others as everyone has independent nutritional needs. I&rsquo;ve known plenty of vegans with iron deficiencies. Also many that despite living the lifestyle for years are still overweight and even more who were vegans, but had to stop, because -gasp- Malnutrition. But you know what else leads to cancer, heart disease, and diabetes? Genetics, enviorment, and lack of exercise. Implying people can&rsquo;t lead a healthy a life style with proper discipline or lean proteins and a balanced diet, despite plenty of studies implying otherwise. Sure, lmao</p>

<p><a href="https://opinionatedvegan.tumblr.com/post/160456811484/malnutrition-as-hundreds-of-thousands-of-meat" class="tumblr_blog">opin...

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my life with weight issues. Gained and lost over and over again. My highest weight was 354 pounds. I decided to undergo a sleeve gastrectomy procedure on august 31 to help start the process. I did have a lot of hesitations when it came to the surgery but I got to a point in my life where I was just tired of living so I decided to do some digging and this surgery saved my life. In a short 10 months I have lost 146 pounds. I have changed my life completely. I'm in the gym 4 times a week and eat a healthy balanced diet. You just have to be motivated and ready to change your life. This has been the best thing that has ever happened to me. I have never felt this alive. My journey has just begun and I have a long road ahead of me but its all worth it. @supathick2supafit __________________________ For Shoutouts-Free Fitness Program-Fat Burner details Click on the link in our profile @HowToTransform .: 140 pounds my life with weight issues. Gained and lost over and over again. My highest weight was 354 pounds. I decided to undergo a sleeve gastrectomy procedure on august 31 to help start the process. I did have a lot of hesitations when it came to the surgery but I got to a point in my life where I was just tired of living so I decided to do some digging and this surgery saved my life. In a short 10 months I have lost 146 pounds. I have changed my life completely. I'm in the gym 4 times a week and eat a healthy balanced diet. You just have to be motivated and ready to change your life. This has been the best thing that has ever happened to me. I have never felt this alive. My journey has just begun and I have a long road ahead of me but its all worth it. @supathick2supafit __________________________ For Shoutouts-Free Fitness Program-Fat Burner details Click on the link in our profile @HowToTransform .

my life with weight issues. Gained and lost over and over again. My highest weight was 354 pounds. I decided to undergo a sleeve gastrect...

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hermionemollycharliepond: just-raowolf: edenwolfie: my year 8 students had to do a budgeting activity pretending they were living out of home on $2000 a month and I find this written on there help I can’t fucking breathe We had to do this and I was partnered with a boy whose parents are a scientist and a doctor. My family spawned the book: Top Drawer Villain - autobiography of a London criminal. First of all, we had to choose where we would shop. He wanted to buy from Booths. “We are not buying from Booths,“ I snapped. ”Get on Asda’s website right now.“ His face froze. “A-Asda?” he whispered. “But that’s where… The Lower Classes shop.” This was a good start. We then had to decide on a menu. We started on breakfast. “Toast,” he said. “Toast,“ I said. ”Great. Look, Asda has its own wholemeal—” “Warburton’s thick-slice white bread. Nothing else. With olive oil.” “You WHAT?“ I choked. ”You have olive oil, on your toast, in the morning?” He frowned. “Who doesn’t?” “Okay,“ I said, ”but what will the children eat?” He gaped at me. “The children? We have children?” We continued. All was well until it came to what we would have on our sandwiches. We even sorted out the children’s lunch - they, of course, would get free school meals. “Yes,“ he agreed; ”if we can’t even afford Bertolli then they can get school meals on the government.” He asked what dressing we should have on our ham. “Nuh-uh,“ I said. ”Can’t have ham. I’m vegetarian.” “But I’m not.” “Yes, but we’re married and we can only afford one sandwich filler so it has to be vege—” “We’re married!?” “Of course we’re married! You’re devout Christian - how do you think I convinced you to have children?” He shook his head, frowning. “Well I want ham. You’ll have to put back the washing powder - I need ham on my sandwiches.” We continued. Finally, it was dinner. “Okay,“ he said, clearly thinking hard; ”for dinner, we can have… Chicken nuggets and… Beans?” “Vegetarian.” “Vegetarian nuggets then. And beans.” “We need vegetables. The children have to have a balanced diet.” “You and your children!“ he yelled, and the whole class looked around. “They’re your children too!” I screamed back. He leapt to his feet, shaking his head and looking distraught. “I don’t believe it - I don’t believe you! I wouldn’t have your children!” “Please,“ I cried, standing up also. ”Don’t—” “I want a divorce!” And he walked out of the classroom. The teacher stood up and stared between me and the door through which he had vanished. “I’m sorry,“ I whispered, ”but we couldn’t do it any more. There were just too many differences - I can’t live with someone who thinks champagne is a budget.” I can’t wait to see this guy when he gets to university. READ THE WHOLE THING : $2000 ths.com.au/ .au/ com.au/rent om.au/2mode-rente m.au/ oadband.com.au/ .au/ com.au/personalゾー/ つく。 hermionemollycharliepond: just-raowolf: edenwolfie: my year 8 students had to do a budgeting activity pretending they were living out of home on $2000 a month and I find this written on there help I can’t fucking breathe We had to do this and I was partnered with a boy whose parents are a scientist and a doctor. My family spawned the book: Top Drawer Villain - autobiography of a London criminal. First of all, we had to choose where we would shop. He wanted to buy from Booths. “We are not buying from Booths,“ I snapped. ”Get on Asda’s website right now.“ His face froze. “A-Asda?” he whispered. “But that’s where… The Lower Classes shop.” This was a good start. We then had to decide on a menu. We started on breakfast. “Toast,” he said. “Toast,“ I said. ”Great. Look, Asda has its own wholemeal—” “Warburton’s thick-slice white bread. Nothing else. With olive oil.” “You WHAT?“ I choked. ”You have olive oil, on your toast, in the morning?” He frowned. “Who doesn’t?” “Okay,“ I said, ”but what will the children eat?” He gaped at me. “The children? We have children?” We continued. All was well until it came to what we would have on our sandwiches. We even sorted out the children’s lunch - they, of course, would get free school meals. “Yes,“ he agreed; ”if we can’t even afford Bertolli then they can get school meals on the government.” He asked what dressing we should have on our ham. “Nuh-uh,“ I said. ”Can’t have ham. I’m vegetarian.” “But I’m not.” “Yes, but we’re married and we can only afford one sandwich filler so it has to be vege—” “We’re married!?” “Of course we’re married! You’re devout Christian - how do you think I convinced you to have children?” He shook his head, frowning. “Well I want ham. You’ll have to put back the washing powder - I need ham on my sandwiches.” We continued. Finally, it was dinner. “Okay,“ he said, clearly thinking hard; ”for dinner, we can have… Chicken nuggets and… Beans?” “Vegetarian.” “Vegetarian nuggets then. And beans.” “We need vegetables. The children have to have a balanced diet.” “You and your children!“ he yelled, and the whole class looked around. “They’re your children too!” I screamed back. He leapt to his feet, shaking his head and looking distraught. “I don’t believe it - I don’t believe you! I wouldn’t have your children!” “Please,“ I cried, standing up also. ”Don’t—” “I want a divorce!” And he walked out of the classroom. The teacher stood up and stared between me and the door through which he had vanished. “I’m sorry,“ I whispered, ”but we couldn’t do it any more. There were just too many differences - I can’t live with someone who thinks champagne is a budget.” I can’t wait to see this guy when he gets to university. READ THE WHOLE THING
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