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Dude, Fafsa, and Lawyer: Can you marry me 5:01 PM I just got back from my school and they said they cannot give me any aid except for unsubsidised loans unless l have a child, get married, or turn 24, so I have to get married Yeah ok I'll marry you I need a better fafsa application too Wait seriously Would you really do it Im doing actual research on it Are we doing this It would have to happen like lightning fast cause my next semester happens pretty damn soon I don't know how fast this happens lemme check Ughhhh okay so we'd need to get a marriage license which can be up to $30 depending on where we get it, and THEN we need to file for a marriage certificate I'm an ordained minister but idk if I could file my own marriage certificate get ordained and do it Can we go to Indiana? Let me check Dude Im so excited Its possible that I can get FAFSA to pay for an entire apartment for me to go to school in Milwaukee DUDE WHAT Okay so there's no minister registration required in lllinois so Yeah I'm looking that up right now Ive heard that if one partner commits adultery, thats grounds for a quicker divorce Yeah this sample form I'm looking at says "irretrievable breakdown" of marriage Worse comes to worse we can stage a fight but I think we can just say yeah it's not working out Does it include adultery divorce ranging from $15,000 to $30,000. Most of this money is spent on legal fees. So Fuck lawyers We don't need a lawyer We don't have kids we don't have property to divide up Oh thats only for a lawyer We don't have alimony to negotiate We're just two guys being dudes. Gettin a divorce portraitofemmy: possiblestoner: marzipanandminutiae: A. imagine your otp B. dear gods this country has massive issues I’ve been looking for this post for ages listen, I’ve read enough fanfic to know that they’re not getting divorced, but it’ll take about 35k of pining to figure that out.
Arguing, Bless Up, and Dogs: My daughter was nervous around dogs, and then she met this guy. He let her love all over him for 20 minutes and then afterwards, her fear was gone. Thank you, sweet boy, for making her into the dog lover that she is! GIBBS NEW YORKERS ARE WILD FAM 😂. They will argue about anything. It’s both a sport and a hobby. In the rest of the country people burn calories by wearing a Fitbit and measuring steps. Nah. New Yorkers will just argue with u until they thin 😂. I love it. I’m not saying they ain’t wonderful people! To the contrary! They be nice as HELL to me! They just love to argue. FOR EXAMPLE. Me: “fam I love getting food off the Halal carts.” NY person: “oh word, son? Oh it’s like THAT my dude? Ayo...Could I ax u a question, son?” *ominous music plays (90s era Mobb Deep)* Me: “sure...(?)” NY person: “ayo son...could I ax u what halal cart u go to my dude?” Me: “ummm like around Greenwich and Murray...(?)” NY person: “son [pregnant pause] SON 😂. U can’t be serriyiss right now son. Is u wildin my dude? *whispering to friend in NY Yankees cap* son...is this dude wildin?” Friend (quietly): “I mean ... he wildin son.” (Everyone in NY got a yes-man with him who wear a yankee fitted real low and who don’t really argue, he just agree with what his friend say lol.) New York person: “ayo u mean...Like up by World Trade?” And I’m like: “I guess...(?)” NY person: “SON! HOW U AINT KNOW THESE THINGS SON? 😂 U gotta know which halal cart got that GOOD good and which one got that mid grade son! Ayo do me a favor son walk a extra couple blocks to Broadway u see a cart that say “HALAL CHICKEN GYROS” with “ONE DOLLAR SAMOSA”...UNDA DAT. U ask for Hakeem. Tell him Donnell sent u. Yeah. Donnell from one two fif. U gotta tell him the street because it’s two Donnells. Son he gon hook u up with the FIRE CHICKEN my dude. Quiet as it’s kept? Prime Minister of Pakistan eat at that cart my dude word is bond I seent him. He had mad security around him and I’m like oh he gotta be a digni-TERRY he ordered chicken biryani with salad son I said ayo get that red sauce too my son and he did my dude it was wild we ate togevva but I don’t tell that story often anyway I’m not sayin don’t eat at them carts u eat at son! I’m just sayin...I WOUL-INNT EAT THERE IF I WAS U. BUT U COULD DO WHAT U FEEL. BLESS UP.” 😂😂😍 [ALL CREDITS IN COMMENT BELOW.]

NEW YORKERS ARE WILD FAM 😂. They will argue about anything. It’s both a sport and a hobby. In the rest of the country people burn calories b...

Girl, Putin, and Indian: Get you a girl that looks at you like Putin looks at Indian Prime Minister

Get you a girl that looks at you like Putin looks at Indian Prime Minister

Dank, Memes, and Target: Get you a girl that looks at you like Putin looks at Indian Prime Minister by aayushks MORE MEMES

Get you a girl that looks at you like Putin looks at Indian Prime Minister by aayushks MORE MEMES

Girl, Putin, and Indian: Get you a girl that looks at you like Putin looks at Indian Prime Minister

Get you a girl that looks at you like Putin looks at Indian Prime Minister

Mussolini, Open, and Mob: luloy Italian Prime Minister Benito Mussolinis corpse after being cut open and paraded by a mob in Milan, 1945

Italian Prime Minister Benito Mussolinis corpse after being cut open and paraded by a mob in Milan, 1945

Ken, Uber, and London: Jastinder Khera @KheraJas My German isn't perfect yet but l think this means... they are not taking us entirely seriously Die Presse DONNERSTAG, 29 NOVEMBER 201 EUROPAIS Der Brexit als Monty-Python-Sketch rur das Land vorteilhaft sei -ihr eigener Finanz nien/EU. Premierministerin Theresa May besteht darauf, dass ihr Austrittsdeal minister behauptet zeitgleich das Gegenteil. VON MICHAEL LACZYNSKI werden können. Philip Hammond sprach Neuwahlen bis hin zu einem zwetten Brexit kırz vor Mays Auftritt im Unterhaus das Of- Referendum oder einem Chaos-Breat am gebe keine Brexit-Vari 29. März 2019. Insolerm ist es nicht verwun- Das innenpolitische Gezerre in fensichtliche aus: Es i Großbritannien um den EU-Austritt nimmt ante, die sich für immer absurdere Züge an. Der gestrige Auf lich tritt von Premierministerin Theresa May im die EU-Mit Unterhaus erinnerte phasenweise an den Sc berühmten Sketch der britischen Komiker- truppe Monty Python, bei dem der Verkäu n wirtschaft derlich, dass man sich in London auch Ge danken über eine Unterbre- chung des Countdowns Gedan ken macht. Diese Obertegun gen beschäftigen auch den EuGH. Die Höchstrichtert der mehr rentieren würde als sagte der r in cinem BBC-In- terview Der Regierungschefin steht fer EU müssen sich derzelt mit In einer Tierhandlung einen misstraul: nun eine Frage befassen, ob Großbritan schen Kunden davon überzeugen will, der Sie muss die durchwegs skepti von ihm erstandene ausgestopfte Papagei schen sei nicht tot, sondern mache lediglich ein überzeugen, am 11. Dezember Mittagsschläfchen. Der von ihr ausgehan- für das Austrittsabkommen zu delte Brexit-Deal werde das Land wohlha stimmen. Sisyphos deshalb, Schatzkanzler nien auf eigene Faust aus der im Artikel 50 des EU-Vertra geregelten zweijährigen A trittsprozess aussteigen ka bender machen, beteuerte May während weil so gut wie alle Beobachter Philip Hammond Nein, argumentieren die wälte von EU-K davon ausgehen, dass May bei die Experten ihrer Regierung zur selben Zeit das genaue Gegenteil behaupteten. dem bevorstehenden Votum im Unterhaus Rat denn sonst könnte der Artikel 50 Nach einem Mittwochmittag veröffent- eine Niederlage kassieren wird. Was dann Erpressung der restlichen Unionsmitg missbraucht werden. Der EuGH-Gene lichten Regierungsbericht wird der EU-Aus passieren wird, ist völlig offen walt wird sein Gutachten zu der Cau Die Bandbreite der S en reicht t u den von der Regierungschefin v ungen in Brüssel über 4. Dezember vorlegen. 29/11/2018, 07:44 1,306 Retweets 3,272 Likes
America, Anaconda, and God: penfairy Throwback to the time my poor German teacher had to explain the concept of formal and informal pronouns to a class full of Australians and everyone was scandalised and loudly complained "why can't l treat everyone the same?" "l don't want to be a Sie!" "but being friendly is respectful!'" "wouldn't using 'du' just show I like them?" until one guy conceded "l suppose maybe l'd use Sie with someone like the prime minister, if he weren't such a cunt" and my teacher ended up with her head in her hands saying "you are all banned from using du until I can trust you" deflare God help Japanese teachers in Australia languageoclock if this isnt an accurate representation of australia idk what is derinthemadscientist Australia's reverse-formality respect culture is fascinating. We don't even really think about it until we try to communicate or learn about another culture and the rules that are pretty standard for most of the world just feel so wrong. I went to America this one time and l kept automatically thinking that strangers using 'sir' and 'ma'am' were sassing me Australians could not be trusted with a language with ingrained tiers of formal addresS. The most formal forms would immediately become synonyms for 'go fuck yourself and if you weren't using the most informal version possible within three sentences ot meeting someone they'd take it to mean you hated them hollowedskin 100% true the difference between "scuse me" and "excuse me" is a fistfight Source: penfairy Friendly Language