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Maybe from stepping on a land mine or something: 1. Her eyes were like two brown circles with big black dots in the center 2. He was as tall as a 6'3" tree 3. Her face was a perfect oval, like a circle that had its two sides gently compressed by a Thigh Master 4. From the attic came an unearthly howl. The whole scene had an eerie, surreal quality, like when you're on vacation in another city and Jeopardy comes on at 7:00 p.m. instead of 7:30 5. John and Mary had never met. They were like two hummingbirds who had also never met 6. She had a deep, throaty, genuine laugh, like that sound a dog makes just before it throws up 7. The ballerina rose gracefully en pointe and extended one slender leg behind her, like a dog at a fire hydrant. 8. He was as lame as a duck. Not the metaphorical lame duck, either, but a real duck that was actually lame. Maybe from stepping on a land mine or something 9. Her vocabulary was as bad as, like, whatever 10. She grew on him like she was a colony of E. coli and he was room- temperature Canadian beef 11. The revelation that his marriage of 30 years had disintegrated because of his wife's infidelity came as a rude shock, like a surcharge at a formerly surcharge-free ATM 12. The lamp just sat there, like an inanimate object. machawicket beingfacetious Tarorescourage ninjagirlmai bewbin wollipyos Some of the worst analogies written by high school students I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT NUMBER 4 IS GREAT These are genius I lost it at number 10 "the worsanalogies" are the ones you use to write comedy pieces with. They work like a charm if you do them right #you say 'worst analogies, i say 'heirs of douglas adams' We read these aloud while slightly drunk in Ireland last summer, and it's one of my favorite memories. I still can't pick my favorite, as at lease five of these made me laugh so hard I cried Maybe from stepping on a land mine or something

Maybe from stepping on a land mine or something

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