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Ass, Bad, and College: Anonymous 12/01/18(Sat)06:19:39 No.49597417 parents spent most of childhood fighting dad was alwavs pissed >has a shitty fucking sense of humour ("haha I'm gonna beat you if you dont this and this") vividly remember getting slapped hard as fuck while we were taking a walk and I decided to skip was maybe 6 years old >broke my toys >mother never did anything says she's always there for me and the only one who actually acknowledged that their long ass divorce could possibly be a really shitty experience for me lies and manipulates people cheated on my dad when I was 9 took the money I got for birthdays and didn't give it back >dad's gf is actually kinda alright >she relays every thing i say to my dad or grandparents though tells me I'm indecent and rude when I curl up on a chair while at grandma's house extremely concerned about how other's view her typical woman.jpg have a family they all hate me because of my mum the only family member I truly love and would miss if they were gone is my aunt whom I see 1-2 a year just wanna get a well-paying and fulfilling job and move far away from all of the bullshit Anonymous 12/01/18(Sat)05:50:32 No.49597109 2/3 got accepted to good college >mom immediately thought that I would go on a drug/drink/sex bender and get into trouble >demand I install tracking software for the smart phone she gave me "how can I trust you after all you did to me in high school?!" largely "encouraged" to choose a particular engineering major extended family, particularly mom's side, made very clear to me the consequences for changing majors, that it would be held over my head for the rest of my life (they did it to cousin) >went there felt freedom for the first time in my life did not drug/drink/sex bender or get into trouble still maintained good grades throughout (dropped only 1 class, A's and B's in a very competitive program while taking a minor and premed courses) develop some of my own non-academic interests and hobbies which family grudgingly accepted (though still to this day try to pressure me to sell it all o stupidest thing I did was ask out high school oneitis, who proceeded to use my crime against me as a cheap way to gain connections for the rest of the 4 years nearly dropped out of major over that only thing that stopped me was seeing that it would take 5 years to graduate, and that it would be impossible to explain to family heartbreak is temporary, family is forever amirite? >powered through major despite slowly dying every day surrounded by people who hated me with no way out >family never knevw constant pressure destroyed me slowly: I'm surel have an undiagnosed anxiety disorder graduated get rejected by every medical program in the country >by this time mom cut connections with family who had always been treating her like shit thought things would get better, at least at home Anonymous 12/01/18(Sat)06:03:04 No.49597258 3/3 forced to take job at shithole startup witnessed and experienced unbelievable shit: racism, sexism, and just plain cruelty from rich degenerates playing company >mom never believed me when I explained thought I was exagerating, and would gaslight me even in middle of conversation >to this day I still hear "it's not that bad" when l make the mistake of talking about what happened over there I have since changed jobs and am still working on my ultimate goal, but I'm more of a wreck than l ever was. Thanks to being berated by my parents for being ungrateful, and constantly having to jump through a million hoops to try to win some love I'm extremely emotionally needy, especially towards women I percieve as mothering figures. It's to the point where I'm pushing away a formerly close friend and mentor who had been extremely kind to me The worst thing is that through all this, my mom (and probably nearly everyone else) is going to say it's all my fault for not being "strong" or independent" enough. For example a few weeks ago I was stupid enough to tell my mom how I hated how her relatives coerced me so hard into staying in my major, even when my heart and brain were both begging to be allowed to run, when they probably couldn't even tell me what my degree was in, and this made me too scared to leave since l feared a trickle down punishment from her. She told me l "stayed in there for myself" and it was all on me since "it's not [herl style" to directly confront others (although I have witnessed this several times). I have to keep pretending everything is alright though it is getting harder every day. There's nobody I can talk to about this: after all, who would believe me? Anon has a bad childhood
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Driving, Friends, and Fuck You: today at work i let someone into a dressing room and they said "thanks" and half of me tried to say you're welcome and the other half tried to say "no problem and i ended up saying "your problem Anonymous 12/07/11(Wed)16:28 No.5220706 Reposting my all time favorite greentext playing soccer in gym ball is up in the air think I'm gonna be awesome and air kick it into the goal -try miss bal >kick goale in the face stry to ask Are you okay and "I'm fucking sorry at the same time sinstead end up yelling "ARE YOU FUCKING SORRY? goalie is choking back tears this post had me in tears I was hoping the notes would be full of similar stories, but they're not, so i'll add my story for anyone else looking for more laughs: I had to go to a library to pay a fee and I was practicing in the car between "I have to pay a fine" and "I have to pay a fee" and I walked in and firmly stated "I have to pee" and slapped a five dollar bill on the counter (the fee was like ten cents), and walked out. This was like three years ago andI still haven't been back, My friend was driving and we were almost past our turnoff so l tried to say "quick" and "fast" at the same time and I ended up screaming "QUACK" which ended up with him judging me very hard and missing the turn philip-the-nickel in volleyball in tenth grade my team lost almost every single game but PRAYING that we would win and all of my teammates started cheering but instead of yelling encouragement I accidentally yelled "DEAR this one time we were ahead and I was sitting on the bench literally for my friend who was about to serve and I tried to join in the cheers HEAVENLY FATHER one of my friends (ankesh) was playing soccer and was about to get nailed in the face and another of my friends tried to say "watch out ankesh" and said "WONKESH" I was in the car with my sister and we were arguing and I was caught between yelling "fight me" and "fuck you" at her, so I just ended up screaming "FUCK ME!" at her aRe YoU fUcKiNg SoRrY?
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Cute, Family, and Grandma: : Anonymous 08/03/18(Fri)20:49:16 No.4/266749 >have cute little sis Sreally really cute sadly I only see her at weekends due to troubled family >whenever I'm with her I pat her head and we play vidya together swe share the room so we play 87 KB JPG vidya all night everything happy ssuddenly old grumpy grandma shows up >she doesn't like that she spends so much time with me >she doesn't like that we share the room and play vidya all day she talks badly about me to her and tries to make her hate me it works sis suddenly doesn't want to be that close to me >so I stop going >after months of knowing nothing of her I visit hen again just because I was nearby >she changed, she seems more serious and looks unhappy >she doesn't want to talk about it >I start playing vidya and tell her to join me >she refuses alright, 'll play for a bit and then I'm ready to go >she stops me >she asks me if I don't like her anymore >I say I do like her a lot and always will as she's my cute little sis >she hugs me >with tears in her eyes she tells me that she loves me >l tell her I do too sI raise my hand to pat her >she raises her head a bit so I can pat her >I always thought she didn't like me petting her, but she did >she tells me that grandma told her she was weird for playing with me and that really upsettec her she tells me that it didn't seem weird to her and that she missed me a lot sI told her stop believing everything people told to her and to think for herself sshe says she wants to play vidya with me and so we do Now I visit her every weekend again and we play vidya all night long like we always did, we are taking turns beating the Mega Man X games and I'm really happy again, and she looks really happy again l just wanted to tell this to someone, but I don't have anyone else, thanks for reading robots Wholesome greentext about Anons little sister

Wholesome greentext about Anons little sister

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Cute, Family, and Grandma: : Anonymous 08/03/18(Fri)20:49:16 No.4/266749 >have cute little sis Sreally really cute sadly I only see her at weekends due to troubled family >whenever I'm with her I pat her head and we play vidya together swe share the room so we play 87 KB JPG vidya all night everything happy ssuddenly old grumpy grandma shows up >she doesn't like that she spends so much time with me >she doesn't like that we share the room and play vidya all day she talks badly about me to her and tries to make her hate me it works sis suddenly doesn't want to be that close to me >so I stop going >after months of knowing nothing of her I visit hen again just because I was nearby >she changed, she seems more serious and looks unhappy >she doesn't want to talk about it >I start playing vidya and tell her to join me >she refuses alright, 'll play for a bit and then I'm ready to go >she stops me >she asks me if I don't like her anymore >I say I do like her a lot and always will as she's my cute little sis >she hugs me >with tears in her eyes she tells me that she loves me >l tell her I do too sI raise my hand to pat her >she raises her head a bit so I can pat her >I always thought she didn't like me petting her, but she did >she tells me that grandma told her she was weird for playing with me and that really upsettec her she tells me that it didn't seem weird to her and that she missed me a lot sI told her stop believing everything people told to her and to think for herself sshe says she wants to play vidya with me and so we do Now I visit her every weekend again and we play vidya all night long like we always did, we are taking turns beating the Mega Man X games and I'm really happy again, and she looks really happy again l just wanted to tell this to someone, but I don't have anyone else, thanks for reading robots Wholesome greentext about Anons little sister

Wholesome greentext about Anons little sister

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Cute, Family, and Grandma: : Anonymous 08/03/18(Fri)20:49:16 No.4/266749 >have cute little sis Sreally really cute sadly I only see her at weekends due to troubled family >whenever I'm with her I pat her head and we play vidya together swe share the room so we play 87 KB JPG vidya all night everything happy ssuddenly old grumpy grandma shows up >she doesn't like that she spends so much time with me >she doesn't like that we share the room and play vidya all day she talks badly about me to her and tries to make her hate me it works sis suddenly doesn't want to be that close to me >so I stop going >after months of knowing nothing of her I visit hen again just because I was nearby >she changed, she seems more serious and looks unhappy >she doesn't want to talk about it >I start playing vidya and tell her to join me >she refuses alright, 'll play for a bit and then I'm ready to go >she stops me >she asks me if I don't like her anymore >I say I do like her a lot and always will as she's my cute little sis >she hugs me >with tears in her eyes she tells me that she loves me >l tell her I do too sI raise my hand to pat her >she raises her head a bit so I can pat her >I always thought she didn't like me petting her, but she did >she tells me that grandma told her she was weird for playing with me and that really upsettec her she tells me that it didn't seem weird to her and that she missed me a lot sI told her stop believing everything people told to her and to think for herself sshe says she wants to play vidya with me and so we do Now I visit her every weekend again and we play vidya all night long like we always did, we are taking turns beating the Mega Man X games and I'm really happy again, and she looks really happy again l just wanted to tell this to someone, but I don't have anyone else, thanks for reading robots Wholesome greentext about Anons little sister via /r/wholesomememes https://ift.tt/2O841jm

Wholesome greentext about Anons little sister via /r/wholesomememes https://ift.tt/2O841jm

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Anime, Bad, and Crazy: Anonymous (ID: eQot91c+) 05/01/13(Wed)18:34:43 No.477045509 File: 1367447683568ipa-(9 KB, 480x360, yui.jpg) sbe me sbe 16 >be a total beta shave few friends nothing special -total weaboo >be doing duke of edinburgh award >for the volunteering decide to help a paralyzed girl and her mum >her dad was fighting over seas at the time -first day listen to the mum about what i'll be doing idgf >meet girl >10/10 DAYUM.jpeg -say hello how are you the usual shit >get started helping the mum cook >me and her get talking about her daughter ask what she does all day >she just lies in bed watching tv -feels bad man >don't think much other of it though >go in to take her food and to her feed her etc >SHE'S WATCHING DEATH NOTE >we start talking like crazy >discuss other anime >become friends quickly >keep up DoE award >keep talking to her >become very good friends >DoE ends *keep on visiting her after school >go out with her,with her in a wheel chair go to park and stuff -she's never been outside for a prolonged amount of time >start dating kind of >keep on visiting and helping out >watch anime together for a couple of weeks -get onto angel beats sepisode ten -find out Yui was paralyzed skeep quiet >marriage proposal scene >engageoverfeel png 10/10 girl asks if i would like her more if she could move -tears rolling down face -throw my arms around her >softly say "you are perfect the way you are, don't ever change" that was the first time i ever hugged my wife <p><a href="https://garagemovie.tumblr.com/post/156998030645/browsedankmemes-wholesome-greentext-via" class="tumblr_blog" target="_blank">garagemovie</a>:</p><blockquote> <p><a href="http://browsedankmemes.com/post/156993764636/wholesome-greentext-via-rwholesomememes" class="tumblr_blog" target="_blank">browsedankmemes</a>:</p> <blockquote><p>Wholesome greentext via /r/wholesomememes <a href="http://ift.tt/2ktbmOA" target="_blank">http://ift.tt/2ktbmOA</a></p></blockquote> <figure class="tmblr-full" data-orig-height="254" data-orig-width="356"><img src="https://78.media.tumblr.com/f77bf3d1dd53a95edd99f5b9295c8050/tumblr_inline_ol32b0P6Wx1rk7yq5_540.png" data-orig-height="254" data-orig-width="356"/></figure></blockquote> <p>Stop. It&rsquo;s 1 am</p>
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Ass, Baseball, and Fall: jpg (46 KB, 1024x683) No.46363786 Anonymous 18 min. ago >be me >working register at mcd's like a fucking wagie mom and son come up >absolute units, their hands were fucking round perfectly fucking round, like a baseball little blob holding a small fish bowl, maybe they came back from Walmart after getting a fish poor fish, probably doesn't even get his ration of the fish food one of those families that has each family member go up to order for themselves hate these kinds of families mama blob starts ordering out of breath from standing in line >slams her elbows down onto the counter to rest while ordering could have fucking swore i heard the counter rumble yaah *pant* could i have a *pant* ahhhhh *pant* big Mac *pant* make that two actually... *pant* no three.... and a *pant* basket of fries and *pant* a large diet coke sweat beads fall down from her chins onto the table breathes in sharply struggles to take elbows off of table finally accomplishes the task finally accomplishes the task two huge wet marks take up the register section those are her fucking elbows her elbows actually fucking sweated little blob comes up to order "can i have 2 big Macs pant* a basket of fries.. *pant* make that two actually *pant* and a large diet Coke *pant* brings fish bowl out onto counter "and... *pant* fill this up *pant* with chocolate *pant* milkshake >a fucking fishbowl sorry, our largest size is a large. we cannot fill things that aren't McDonalds cups mama blob starts throwing a tantrum "HE WANTS HIS FUCKING MILKSHAKE SO GIVE IT TO HIM" maam, we cann >"LET ME SPEAK TO YOUR GOD DAMN MANAGER go get manager >he just repeats what I said tells her she can buy about 10 large milkshakes to fill it if she wants "DAS TOO EXPENSIVE!!!" "TOO MUCH CALORIES!!!" >me and manager stare at each other did she really just say that mama blob sees us looking at each other cont. whole restaurant has been quiet this whole time just looking at us >mama blob hears something turns her body to look backward >a gentle greasy breeze hits me >sees a couple people snickering turns back around "YOURE EMBARRASSING ME!!" >me and manager stay silent tears start to well up in her eyes could have just been sweat though face turns redder grabs her son's hand "WE'RE NEVER EATING HERE AGAIN!" >something deep down told me that wasn't true >pulls her son's hand waddles out hear her panting as she opens the door notice something >me and manager both notice it look at each other there was something brown in the middle of Hammy's ass could it be could it fucking be look at her legs brown liquid streaking the inside of her right leg >she sharted >she actually fucking sharted and left a brown trail had to febreeze the fuck out of that place for 5 minutes janitor almost puked cleaning it up Hammy &amp; Boy: A Shitty Quest for Fishbowl Milkshake
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Af, Asian, and Aww: Anonymous 04/23/18 (Mon)22:57:12 No.766778676 Hey /b/romosexuals, story time > Be me, 17 year old 7/10 male Have an objectively 6, subjectively 8/10 asian gf who loves me 182 KB JPG Major trust issues from a relationship that went bad a while ago relationship friends since 13 Clingy af, probably still a result of that last We've known each other since we were 12, been Tell her I love her evervdav Despite her always replying that she loves me to, start doubting that Gf tells me after a lot of thinking, she's asexual Ohshitlmaydieavirgin Suddenly text my ex spontaneously, find out she's single Lie and say I'm single She asks to meet up for a coffee at Tims (I'm a Leaf) > I decide to go because I'm pissed at my gf Continue? Alright then go to the meet up with ex s my ex is just as beautiful as ever. She has shorter hair and small tits but thats sorta my thing She got me a coffee alread >It was the same type of coffee I drank when was with her on our first date (Double double) >She smiles, it looks cute on her > I ask her whats up, and she mentions my clearly visible erection I sat down faster than I lost my erection s We make small talk for a bit, we instantly have a spark > I havent felt this spark for a few years Eventually she says what both of us have been thinking "We should get back together." Idk what to say. Can't tell her I lied about being single at this point, but I also like her a lot more than my gf > Decide to keep it going "Sure, but I don't have a lot of free time with work. > I just lost my job > I give her the address to the apartment I'm in, which I don't actually pay for. My best bud does Invite her over one time She says "Why not tonight?" My gf hasn't text me and doesnt have a key, and my buddy is out of townm Sure, what could go wrong? Almost done the story /b/ois, cont.? > Take her back to the apartment > Time is a bit late. Ask her what she wants to do She immediately gives me a smile that could only mean one of two things, sex or something sexual > Before I can say anything she notices a picture have of me and my girlfriend on top of the shelf >"Who's this?" > I panic > My sister >She gets confused. My sister is asian? > "You never told me you had a sister, anon, andI met your family > Ohshit.jpg > I make up a story on the spot about my parents splitting and my dad remarrying. She's my stepsister. We broke up over a year ago. My parents fought once in front of her. Not too far fetched "Aww, anon. I'm so sorry." She says, basically jumping into my arms after putting the photo down Haven't even blown a load in at least a week >Boner is visible >She goes for it. I had forgotten that one of the main reasons we broke up was her sex drive and mine not matching up >Suddenly remember second was that she was a crazy bitch towards me sometimes > I just go with it and hope that I wont remember this in a month Best sex I ever had. (I bagged up tho. No worries sWe fall asleep in eachothers arms on my roommates bed crazv bitch towards me sometimes >I just go with it and hope that I wont remember this in a month Best sex I ever had. (I bagged up tho. No worries s We fall asleep in eachothers arms on my roommates bed Wake up to a banging on the door Groggily get up to find my ex making breakfast and my best friends gf at the door Wtf I yell through the door at her "What do you want?" (My best bud) left something and needed her to bring it to him > I open the door cautiously She sees my ex, and me half naked. She ofo knows about my af She asks to talk to me in private Takes me to the bedroom, locks the door and quietly asks me "Are you cheating or did you break I don't lie to her >She gets frustrated with me and leaves without my buds thing he needed "What was that?" My ex asks Now T don't remember exactly what I said at this point because I was scared shitless. My buds gf was for sure gonna tell mine and now things were gonna tumble down Cont? > "What was that anon?" >Ex js getting visibly annoyed and worried > She looks back at the photo of me and my "sister I look down at the floor My ex suddenly pieces something together right then and there >"ls she vour girlfriend?" > I fucking crumble and admit everything >She's surprisingly understanding, but just as understandably upset > ''You should call her No >"I need you to do this for me" I do > I explain the whole thing to her, sparing the sexual details > She sounds pretty heartbroken I try to console her but it doesnt work as well as l would have hoped She hangs up on me I'm in a puddle of tears sitting next to the first girl | ever loved > She hugs me awkwardly one last time > "I need one more thing from you > I look at her and wipe away some tears. "What?" > She smiles at me warmly and says "I need about tree fiddy I suddenly realised what I should have long ago My ex was about 8 stories tall and was a crustacean from the paleozoic era The god damn loch ness monster had tricked me again Anon is conflicted
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Big Dick, Chill, and Church: ITT: Glorious Retards >be me mormonfag church boring as fuck not really that interested in going, its a cult, mostly do it for my family hate testimony week basically open mic day once a week at church people go up and are supposed to talk about how great god is or whatever, generally just talk about how great they are and what vacation they went on last literally just a big dick measuring contest new family moves into ward pretty unusual situation: single dad, downie kid. we learned way later that he accidentally got a girl pregnant, she wanted to abort downie, he said he'd raise the baby himself rather than see that happen. not sure if i agree with it, but gotta admit, that's honorable as fuck downies a good kid too, sweet as can be, not as dumb as you'd think anyway testimony week comes around, dreading it first guy goes up, starts talking about how he baptized a lot of people on his mission >am rolling my eyes in five dimensions when I heard downie roar from across the room "TEHTIMONEY WEEK IS FOHR TEHTIMONEYS! NOE!" room goes quiet, guy wraps up quickly, sits down people tell actual wholesome stuff, they fear the downie. no dick measuring with him around next week similar thing happens: woman goes up to talk about how much she loves her husband, and how he took the whole family on a trip to mexico recently Downie interrupts "TEHTIMONEY! WEEK! IS! FOHR! TEHTIMONEYS! NOE!" lady sits down, normal talking goes on, im officially borderline gay for downie later talking with my edgelord apostate friends, we all talk about how downie is the best thing to happen to this ward ever we find downie and thank him for keeping it real. his dad is super touched that we all stopped by, we all make sure to thank downie for his interruptions and tell him to keep it real we thought maybe his dad would be annoyed that we were encouraging this, but his dad was chill as could be 6.5 kB JPG 33 min. ago. Anonymous | 44806137 cont next week, Downey takes it up a notclh mormon services have two or three talks a servic, all done by volunteers, but the talks can suuuuuuck worst ones are when old people/newly returned missionaries are asked to talk and they ramble for an hour and a half old lady is going on and on about growing up in the great depression. we're all about to go insane when downie stands up YOU TAHK TOO LON, OTHER SPEACHERS NEED TO TAHK TOO lady wraps up we're all in fucking awe of this god among us anytime somebody rambles, or tries to humblebrag, downie calls them out its fucking amazing >church is still a cult but its actually kind of fun now with downie there me and my edgelord friends keep an eye on him, nobody fucks with our downie we get near the end of HS when downie has a heart attack we all visit him in the hospital. we fucking love him >he survived the heart attack, but he just may not have a whole lot of time left. the sunday, the dad announces that him and his son are going to be moving out of state. wants to show his son more of the world before he dies. me and my friends go to downies house to say goodbye, tell him we're going to miss him so much, testimoney week is going to turn back to shit with him gone downie asks if he can tell us a secret we say sure, you can tell us anything "Dah tole me wat to say all those times. >mfw his dad originally used his retarded son as a way to ignore social conventions and tell people to stfu, but wound up continuing to do it for years because he knew it was helping him have friends. >mfw when im not sure if his dad is an asshole or a genius >mfw I don't even care anymore, I still think fondly of that glorious downie bastard yelling at old ladies from the back of the chapel 1 REPLY Anon goes to church
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4chan, Af, and Children: Board /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 Settings Home 2 /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 Return Catalog Bottom Update Auto Post a Reply echa View Announcement Anonymous 03/20/18(Tue)16:18:15 No.44008579 homeless immigrant guy outside my ocal to soething idk call him Raj or something idk see him every day as I pick up my chicken club sandwich 1 KB PNG >spoke literally 0 scottish, just said give me pound please" >every fucking day would sometimes steal a sandwich for him figured it wouldnt go very far across his 9 wives and 16 children all whom are on benefits >said that i would give him pound if he sung the scottish national anthem we don't have one, but I got him on that Scotland the Brave shit >took literally 20 minutes to get this through to him said that i would give him pound every 3 days if he could sing this anthem it begins Anonymous 03/20/18(Tue)16:19:03 No.44008593 /r9k/ - >homeless immigrant boards.4chan.org 2 Board/r9k/ - ROBOT9001 โ–ผ Setti took literally 20 minutes to get this through to hi said that i would give him pound every 3 days if he could sing this anthem it begins Anonymous 03/20/18(Tue)16:19:03 No.44008593 teach him a new line of Scottish the brave every day every 3 days he has to sing what he knows back to me for his pound he learns that by singing this he gets 19 KB JPG one pound or something starts singing it all the time outside tescos often singingg it before I even get there people actually giving him money for this >baka.htm by the time I've given him 5 pounds he knows the entire anthem ahead of schedule AF I stop giving him money, asks me for one pound please every time he sees me again eventually talk to him he still doesn't know a word of Englislh just the Scottish national anthem I also teach him to say "Dieu et mon Driot" he spent all of his time learning this shit instead of learning English mfw I created a Scotland propoganda bot who shitposts outside Tescos Next week I'm going to teach him "Scots Wha Hae" >I should be getting paid for my making use out of illegals Anonvmous 03/20/18(Tlue)1629 25 No 44008781 Scot Makes A Bot
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