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Dank, Memes, and Money: [2.1] First, when the pirates demanded a ransom of twenty talents, Caesar burst out laughing They did not know, he said, who it was that they had captured, and he volunteered to pay fifty [2.2] Then, when he had sent his followers to the various cities in order to raise the money and was left with one friend and two servants among these Cilicians, about the most bloodthirsty people in the world, he treated them so highhandedly that, whenever he wanted to sleep, he would send to them and tell them to stop talking [2.3] For thirty-eight days, with the greatest unconcern, he joined in all their games and exer- cises, just as if he was their leader instead of their prisoner [2.4] He also wrote poems and speeches which he read aloud to them, and if they failed to ad- mire his work, he would call them to their faces illiterate savages, and would often laughingly threaten to have them all hanged. They were much taken with this and attributed his freedom of speech to a kind of simplicity in his character or boyish playlulness. [2.5] However, the ransom arrived from Miletus and, as soon as he had paid it and been set free, he immediately manned some ships and set sail from the harbor of Miletus against the pirates. He found them still there, lying at anchor off the island, and he captured nearly all of them. [2.6] He took their property as spoils of war and put the men themselves into the prison at Pergamon. He then went in person to [Marcus] Junius, the governorof Asia, thinking it proper that he, as praetor in charge of the province, should see to the punishment of the prisoners. [2.7] Junius, however, cast longing eyes at the money, which came to a considerable sum, and kept saying that he needed time to look into the case.Caesar paid no further attention to him. He went to Pergamon, took the pirates out of prison and crucified the lot of them, just as he had often told them he would do when he was on the island and they imagined that he was jok- ing Julius Caesar, patron saint of trolls by evil_mipmie_de MORE MEMES

Julius Caesar, patron saint of trolls by evil_mipmie_de MORE MEMES

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Ass, Beautiful, and Butt: did you know? did-you-kno.tumblr.com During a battle in 603 BC, Chinese warrior Xiong Yiliao stepped out between the armies and started juggling 9 balls. The opposing troops were so amazed that all 500 of them turned and fled did-you-kno.tumblr.com didyouknowblog.com facebook.com/didyouknowblog idontevenhaveone: etienne-bessette: futureevilscientist: optimysticals: uovoc: konec0: sleepyferret: shitfacedanon: dat-soldier: sonnetscrewdriver: dat-soldier: did-you-kno: Source back the fuck up There’s another story that I like about a Chinese general who had to defend a city with only a handful of soldiers from a huge enemy horde that was in all likelihood going to steamroll the place flat within hours of showing up. So when said horde did arrive, they saw the general sitting outside the city’s open gates, drinking tea. The horde sent a couple of emissaries over to see what was what, and the general greeted them cheerfully and invited them all to come and take tea with him. The horde decided that this was a scenario that had “MASSIVE FUCKING TRAP” written all over it in beautiful calligraphy and promptly fucked off. Whoever that general was, he was clearly the Ancient Chinese equivalent of Sam Vimes. did he just invite us over for tea nah man i’m out This just keeps getting better I fucking love history. ok but tbh that story misses a lot of the subtlety of the situation like ok so this story is the Romance of Three Kingdoms, and essentially takes place between Zhuge Liang, resident tactician extraordinaire, and Sima Yi… OTHER resident tactician extraordinaire. The two were both regarded as tactical geniuses and recognized the other as their rival. Zhuge Liang had a reputation for ambushing the SHIT out of his opponents and using the environment to his advantage, thus destroying large armies with a small number of men. Sima Yi (who kind of entered the picture later) was a cautious person whose speciality was unravelling his opponent’s plans before they began. So it was natural that the two would butt heads; however, since Sima Yi tended to have more men and resources, he started winning battles against the former. Which, y’know, kinda sucked. On to the actual story: Zhuge Liang is all like “shit i gotta defend this city with like 10 men.” Literally if he fights ANY kind of battle here, he WILL lose; his only option for survival is not to fight. And that’s looking more and more impossible until he hears that his rival is leading the opposing army. And then he gets this brilliant idea. He basically opens all the gates, sends his men out in civilian clothes to sweep the streets, and sits on top of the gate drinking tea and chilling out and basically makes the whole thing out to be a trap When Sima Yi comes he’s all like “yo come on in bro” and Sima Yi is like “yeah he’s never been that obvious about his traps before. this is definitely a bluff” and he’s about to head in when he realizes wait. he knows that i think he’s bluffing. and so he gets it in his head that maybe, just MAYBE, Zhuge Liang has this cunning plan that will wipe out his army - recall that he has a pretty good handle on what his rival is capable of. And after a long period of deliberation (which is just like “he know that I know that he knows that etc.”), being the cautious man he is, SIma Yi eventually decides to turn his entire army around and leave. Zhuge Liang later points out that the plan was based specifically on the fact that he was facing his rival; if it had been anyone else, there’s no way it would have worked. A dumber or less cautious person would have simply charged in and won without breaking a sweat.  and that’s the real genius here: it was a plan formed entirely just to deceive one man, and it worked. Zhuge Liang is the most brilliant, sneaky-ass bastard in history. One time his side’s army was out of arrows, which pretty much meant they were screwed. So Zhuge Liang goes and does the logical thing, which is build a fuck ton of scarecrows and put them all on boats. Then he makes the men hide in the boats and sail them out on the river. Well, that day was super foggy (which Zhuge Liang had predicted. Did I mention he was also a freakishly accurate meteorologist?). So the enemy across the river sees a fleet of boats armed to the teeth with what appears to be half an army of men. They panic! and start firing arrows like crazy.  Zhuge Liang lets this play out for a while, then he’s like, ”Ok guys that’s enough.” They calmly turn the boats around and go back to base, where they dismantle the scarecrows and pull out all the enemy’s arrows. Zhuge Liang is legend. I love this post. It just keeps getting better. Like seriously, I would have adored learning about this in World History. If you want to see this in cinematic glory, watch Red Cliff. Especially since it makes Zhuge Liang look like this: Red Cliff is 50% bloody battles and 50% eye candy and about half of that eye-candy is due to Zhuge Liang @admiraloblivious we’re finding this movie and watching it asap Ffffff-
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Finish Line, Race, and Bike: 5,0 km 0:00 t Bike race ruined when bridge raises to let a sail boat through just before finish line.

Bike race ruined when bridge raises to let a sail boat through just before finish line.

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Advice, Bailey Jay, and Finance: Senator Eric Abetz has complained about the rainbow pride flag being flown in the foyer of a government department, saving it belongs to a "hostile nation" that has declared war on Australia. SENATE Senate Finance and Public Administration Legisiation Committee darkpuffin: ileolai: gondorsfinest: feitanswife: sailurmars: mycroftrh: gerbthenerd: Reblog if you’re part of a hostile nation that’s declared war on Australia Oh my god though guys you don’t know the best thing!  The best thing is: he’s right. The Gay and Lesbian Kingdom of the Coral Sea Islands is a micronation near Australia.  This is their flag: The Gay Kingdom (as it is colloquially known) was founded in 2004 in protest against Australia’s legal stance against same-sex marriage. Here are some of their stamps: They are currently ruled by Emperor Dale I, and their currency is the Pink Dollar. And, indeed - they declared war on Australia for not recognizing same-sex marriages performed outside the country.  (Second link.) You’re telling me there has been a Gay Island this ENTIRE TIME and I’m only just finding out about it???? WHAT okay, but not enough people know the details on this. people at pride were upset about gay rights in australia. so they decided to sail 200 miles into the coral sea just ‘cause and put a rainbow flag on a fucking empty island out of spite. and i’m talking empty. no inhabitants. zero. it was a flat piece of land with a bit of dry grass. now it has a camp site and a post office.  they have a declaration of independence that talks a bit about gay rights and then just flat out copies the “life liberty and the pursuit of happiness” part from the american declaration of independence. and here’s the best part: the founding group actually elected their emperor. he was originally going to be called the “administrator” of a republic. their website, however, says that “upon legal advice, his title was changed to that of Sovereign on the grounds that under Australian law a defacto prince trying to claim his crown cannot be charged with treason”. so they made it a kingdom and he now claims to be a descendent of edward ii. everything about this is glorious and everyone should know about it. Keep reading Not one of you mentioned that the anthem for this nation is I Am What I Am by Gloria Gaynor. Not. One. Of. You. A very good micronation. Very good.
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Brad Pitt, Children, and Computers: Christina attended the 1989 MTV Movie kwards with Brad Pitt, but dumped him at the event and left with someone else an ar adet that trained with the an milita ellow singer Shont her drill sergean In 2009, when 18-year old Rukhsana Kausar from Kashmir, India saw her parents being beaten as part of a fhrced marriage proposal by a militia commander, she killed one militant with an axe gumed the then started a 4hour gun battle with the militia nsgenderwoman wasn allowed to change her gender marker to female at the so she went outside and took off her shirt She was arrested, despite her license saying she was a Male Nolly Schuyler,a 125b woran won the Wing Bowl 001 eating contest (recard 363 chickan wingsl. The nat day she won the Blus Ribbon Bacon Festival (5 bs of bacanin 3 minl afterwinning the HOP Parcake Bowl (59 pascakes). Nat day, she conquered the Adam Emeneckar Challenge by eating 5ibsof barbecaa in 2014,she bmke the T2 az steak eating warld record, by eating it in 2min and 44 secs beating theprior record of 6nin and 38 woman in n fight off and kill a leopard that pounced on her when she was arryine water Kama Devi,56 said she fought with the imal for more than halfan waman samed Allena Hassen w35 bear while walking her efend her. She escaped from ther iked back to her car and drove4 miles for help, even thonghhalf at her face was hanging off profusely ut of its sacket. She surrived. Both he degs suftered osly minor inuries In 2003 female A10 Thunderbolt up by anti-aircraft munitions lost all hydraulics,rolled left and pointed toward the ground,but after reverting to manual mode she regnined control flew for an hour, and landed without brakeS n2012 Aishat Maksudava a 6 year eld Russian walf with her bare hands and wolf was just elawing into my kiled it with an ae So the left hand pulingon it, puling away lke this And then I tosk the axe andhit him an his head, shesaid A Frenchwoman, leanne de Cissen became a piate in the 130U's to merge her husband's death, wh" bebeaded fur treson. She sold her bmily's land to buy 3ships and painted then black with red sails For the aad 13years, she wentona binge targeting King Phlp s ships and personaly beheaded the Freachnoblemen she captured In 2000,a Mexican woman named Ines Ramirez Pere success Csection on herself after 12 hours of continual pain with a kitchen knife and three glasses of hard liquor, while her husband was drinking at a bar Susan an and eoman from Uregon overpowered and killed with her bare had hired to kill her woman named Mona Shaw with a hammer becauseshe was fed up with their poor customer service She was arrested and got charged $345 In 2005, a worten nemed Shayra Richardson, performing her first solo skydve jump to slam face fint oa pirking recovery and the baby was ire sucked utstudent ater it was struck by lightning She fell 3.2 stil 9 day walk to the nearest civilzation. She was the lone survivor from the crash An Indian flight attendant named Neerja Bhanot hid the passengers on board a hijacked flight to save hem from the hijackers. he died while shielding three children froma hail of bullets ASA's first trip into space Katherine Johnson,an African American scientist who was in charge of calculating the work was so trusted that, oven after NASA had switched to computers, they would call on her to check for any mistakes AfterOga of Kiew's hushand got murdered she went after the culprits and net nly did she abliterate the whole family through relentless murder,bat als destroyed their city by burring the whole city at once with pigeens and sparrows <p>Women Who Deserve More Appreciation.</p>

Women Who Deserve More Appreciation.

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Future, Joe Biden, and Obama: [-] Stratgibson (+1] 12.6k points 20 hours ago I think Obama should resign a few days early just so Joe gets to be the 45th President for the next week. He deserves it permalink source embed save save-RES report give gold reply hide child comments [-] Andrado O(+1] 3041 points 19 hours ago* (last edited 8 hours ago) It would be hilarious, though. Trump has already received gifts bearing "45th President of the United States" and is planning his big inauguration. Obama would tap out and Biden would get his own swearing in, which would completely take the wind out of the sails of Trump's inauguration, and Trump would get bumped to 46th president. In the meantime, Biden would use the opportunity to pass an irrevocable 100 year funding package for Amtrak, create a national Ice Cream Hall of Fame, pardon everyone Obama might want to but couldn't because of legacy issues, and put a portrait of "Joe and Barry hanging out in the Rose Garden" right outside Trump's future bedroom. He would deliver an inaugural address, state of the union, pre-pardon a turkey, and farewell address, all in the space of a week. Biden could even buy the building next door to the Russian embassy and make it the Joe Biden Presidential Library, with a big arrow of lights pointing to the neighbors saying "twats." (I'm clearly not being serious, this should go without saying.) Edit: First gold! Thank you reddit stranger! permalink source embed save save-RES parent report give gold reply bootycap: (x)
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Brad Pitt, Children, and Computers: Christina attended the 1989 MTV Movie kwards with Brad Pitt, but dumped him at the event and left with someone else an ar adet that trained with the an milita ellow singer Shont her drill sergean In 2009, when 18-year old Rukhsana Kausar from Kashmir, India saw her parents being beaten as part of a fhrced marriage proposal by a militia commander, she killed one militant with an axe gumed the then started a 4hour gun battle with the militia nsgenderwoman wasn allowed to change her gender marker to female at the so she went outside and took off her shirt She was arrested, despite her license saying she was a Male Nolly Schuyler,a 125b woran won the Wing Bowl 001 eating contest (recard 363 chickan wingsl. The nat day she won the Blus Ribbon Bacon Festival (5 bs of bacanin 3 minl afterwinning the HOP Parcake Bowl (59 pascakes). Nat day, she conquered the Adam Emeneckar Challenge by eating 5ibsof barbecaa in 2014,she bmke the T2 az steak eating warld record, by eating it in 2min and 44 secs beating theprior record of 6nin and 38 woman in n fight off and kill a leopard that pounced on her when she was arryine water Kama Devi,56 said she fought with the imal for more than halfan waman samed Allena Hassen w35 bear while walking her efend her. She escaped from ther iked back to her car and drove4 miles for help, even thonghhalf at her face was hanging off profusely ut of its sacket. She surrived. Both he degs suftered osly minor inuries In 2003 female A10 Thunderbolt up by anti-aircraft munitions lost all hydraulics,rolled left and pointed toward the ground,but after reverting to manual mode she regnined control flew for an hour, and landed without brakeS n2012 Aishat Maksudava a 6 year eld Russian walf with her bare hands and wolf was just elawing into my kiled it with an ae So the left hand pulingon it, puling away lke this And then I tosk the axe andhit him an his head, shesaid A Frenchwoman, leanne de Cissen became a piate in the 130U's to merge her husband's death, wh" bebeaded fur treson. She sold her bmily's land to buy 3ships and painted then black with red sails For the aad 13years, she wentona binge targeting King Phlp s ships and personaly beheaded the Freachnoblemen she captured In 2000,a Mexican woman named Ines Ramirez Pere success Csection on herself after 12 hours of continual pain with a kitchen knife and three glasses of hard liquor, while her husband was drinking at a bar Susan an and eoman from Uregon overpowered and killed with her bare had hired to kill her woman named Mona Shaw with a hammer becauseshe was fed up with their poor customer service She was arrested and got charged $345 In 2005, a worten nemed Shayra Richardson, performing her first solo skydve jump to slam face fint oa pirking recovery and the baby was ire sucked utstudent ater it was struck by lightning She fell 3.2 stil 9 day walk to the nearest civilzation. She was the lone survivor from the crash An Indian flight attendant named Neerja Bhanot hid the passengers on board a hijacked flight to save hem from the hijackers. he died while shielding three children froma hail of bullets ASA's first trip into space Katherine Johnson,an African American scientist who was in charge of calculating the work was so trusted that, oven after NASA had switched to computers, they would call on her to check for any mistakes AfterOga of Kiew's hushand got murdered she went after the culprits and net nly did she abliterate the whole family through relentless murder,bat als destroyed their city by burring the whole city at once with pigeens and sparrows <p>Women Who Deserve More Appreciation.<br/><a href="http://daily-meme.tumblr.com"><span style="color: #0000cd;"><a href="http://daily-meme.tumblr.com/">http://daily-meme.tumblr.com/</a></span></a></p>

Women Who Deserve More Appreciation.http://daily-meme.tumblr.com/

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Bodies , Fire, and Tumblr: Natural forces/celestial bodies themed pronouns fog/fog/fogs/fogself fie/fire/fireself lun/lun/lunself mene/menen/menes/menenself moon/moon/moons/moonself mo/moon/moons/moonself neb/neb/nebself nov/novs/novself sol/sun/sunself sy/sky/skyself voi/void/voidself star/stars/starself Sea themed pronouns fin/fins/finsself gill/gills/gillself kelp/kelps/kelpself mer/mers/merself sea/sear/seaself spo/spon/spongeself sea/sail/stern sai/sail/sails/sailself hu/hull/hulls/hullself shi/ship/ships/shipself ma/mast/masts/mastself de/deck/decks/deckself ke/keel/keels/keelself Plant themed pronouns bud/buds/budself fleur/fleurs/fleurself leaf/leafs/leafself petal/petals/petalself sprout/sprouts/sproutself stem/stems/stemself bloom/blooms/bloomself [used only if plantkin] Planet/Dwarf Planet themed pronouns plan/plans/planself merc/mercs/mercself ven/vens/venself ter/ters/terself mars/mars/marself jup/jups/jupself cro/cron/crons/cronself cae/caer/caerself nep/neps/nepself plu/plur/plurself er/eris/eriself ce/cer/cerself <p><a href="http://againstsjws.tumblr.com/post/126658058168/argumentativething-againstsjws-examples-of" class="tumblr_blog">againstsjws</a>:</p> <blockquote><p><a class="tumblr_blog" href="http://argumentativething.tumblr.com/post/126657979744">argumentativething</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a class="tumblr_blog" href="http://againstsjws.tumblr.com/post/126583987518">againstsjws</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p>examples of stupid pronouns. seriously, dwarf planet pronouns? please tell me this is a bloody joke.</p> </blockquote> <p>haha actually fuck off. seriously. do.</p> <p>with all the various experiences of gender that people have, finding pronouns that fit can be a trial. so people come up with their own, based on how they experience their gender.</p> </blockquote> <p>so you’re telling me people identify as the mast of a ship..?</p></blockquote> <p>Argumentativething deactivated. Figures.</p>
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