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Apparently, Confused, and Family: Rock Apparently Factors Into Girlfriend's Shower Routine NEWS Local Relationships ISSUE 49-29 Jul 16, 2013 23 Jacob Ferris, 25, has no idea what his girlfriend Sarah uses this rock in her shower for rubitrightintomyeyes: theonion: Rock Apparently Factors Into Girlfriend’s Shower Routine SEATTLE—Saying he was confused about the full extent of its purpose as well as its overall benefit, local man Jacob Ferris, 25, nonetheless surmised today that the oblong rock located in girlfriend Sarah Milstein’s shower caddy must somehow factor into her bathing routine, sources confirmed. “I guess at some point while she’s showering, she rubs a rock on her body,” said Ferris, expressing what he claimed was “the only possible conclusion” about the light-gray rock in his girlfriend’s bathroom. “I mean, it looks sort of nice, so she could just have it there for decoration or something. But it’s usually right near all the other soaps and her loofah, so I think it’s probably something she actually uses while under the water.” “I really don’t know how it all works,” Ferris added. “All I know is that in between Sarah getting into the shower and getting out, there’s a rock involved.” Ferris, who said he was unable to determine exactly when in the showering process the rock first comes into play, told reporters he is equally clueless about what part of the body the rock is used on. In addition, Ferris said he occasionally inspects the roughly 3-ounce object when he’s in Milstein’s shower, and told reporters that the rock is nearly always wet and is occasionally moved to slightly different spots within the bathtub, leading him to believe that his girlfriend uses it fairly regularly. He also noted his girlfriend’s bathing time never seems particularly longer than the average person’s considering she has added a rock into the mix. Ferris added that all attempts to incorporate the rock into his own shower routine have ultimately been unsuccessful. “I tried rubbing it on my skin once, and it hurt,” Ferris said, concluding that pouring soap and water directly onto the rock neither made it softer nor easier on his skin. “I could maybe see how it could get some dirt off of your body, but it seems too painful to work. Her skin usually looks nice though, so maybe I’m wrong.” “There is a chance it could be a hair thing,” Ferris continued. “Maybe she rubs the rock in her hair? I don’t know.” Ferris confirmed he has considered numerous reasons for why his girlfriend uses the rock in the shower, including that she has some type of skin condition, that the rock is some sort of weird tradition her family has, or that everyone uses rocks in the shower and he has been out of the loop the entire time. “It could be for cleaning the bathtub,” said Ferris, adding he once suspected the rock was a device for making the bathroom smell nice, but then noticed it had no discernible smell whatsoever. “Like every few weekends she scrubs the tub with this rock? I guess I could see Sarah doing that.” While Ferris said he is mostly certain that the rock was initially purchased at a home goods store of some kind, he was not able to completely rule out the possibility it was just a rock that his girlfriend found on the ground and decided to put in her shower. “I wonder if I should put a rock in my shower for when she’s over here,” said Ferris, who said he once tried to locate a rock at a Bed Bath Beyond, but left after not wanting to walk up to a sales clerk and ask them where they kept their “shower rocks.” “Or I could just tell her to leave a rock at my place if she wants.” “I’m probably not going to do that,” Ferris added. At press time, a visibly perplexed Ferris had seen the rock sitting in Milstein’s trashcan and then looked in the shower to see another rock sitting in its place.

rubitrightintomyeyes: theonion: Rock Apparently Factors Into Girlfriend’s Shower Routine SEATTLE—Saying he was confused about the full exte...

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Children, Family, and Girls: squ33ble legally-bitchtastic catch-the-ghost monsterkissed here is an idea: normalise the idea that adopting kids is a valid option even for parents who could conceive a child themselves, and not just an inferior backup option for parents who can't Yesterday one of the girls in the unit who's about my age was complaining about her period and expressing a wish for the doctors nearby to "Just take me down to the OR real quick and give me a hysterectomy." Immediately half the nurses (all mothers mind you) start telling her about how she's gonna regret it and she doesn't know yet if she really doesn't want kids, blah blah blalh Anyways, I was walking past so l said, "You know what, you do what you want. If you want end up wanting kids later go adopt some, we've got plenty that get left behind on the second floor [our labor and delivery unit]." All the older nurses shut down so fast and the girl I was talking to suddenly threw up her hands and me and said, "See??? That's what l mean! THANK YOU." NORMALIZE THIS SHIT!! WE REALLY DO HAVE WOMEN COME INTO L&D TO HAVE A BABY AND THEN JUST LEAVE IT HERE AND TAKE OFF. ADOPT!!! Also, don't ask the parents of adopted children if they had fertility problems. That shit is personal. My sister adopted her son and when asked if she is infertile, she likes to ask them what position their children were conceived with, because that's on the same level of appropriateness Like, some people really DO want to experience pregnancy on their own, but that's not the only way to be a parent? On the other hand, some people want kids but DON'T want to be pregnant themselves. Adoption is awesome Birthing a baby is awesome. Hiring a surrogate is awesome. Stop judging parental options, as long as the kids are safe and well taken care of! Family is a choice
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Cute, Dude, and Google: Verizon LTE 1:12 AM @ 7058% omg-foreverfilledwithweird-posts navonneedsahug Follow zzdigital What if someone got bitten by a vampire, but didn't realize it. So then they go around and keep misidentifying all the symptoms, like "Dude, you haven't gone outside in a while." "Yeah, last time I went out I got this wicked sunburn." "Are you still up?" "Yeah, I started bing watching this show on Netflix." "Dude, I'm seriously craving something right now." "Like what?" "I dunno. Pizza rolls?" adriofthedead "Why is it that you never come into my house unless I invite you?" "Um, it's called 'being polite...?" paulichu "I tried cooking with garlic the other night and got this serious burn on my hand. I think I'm allergic, but all I'm getting on Google is vampire bullshit." samarajournal "Dude can a mirror like... stop working or something?" espeoradar Dude, why do you keep posting pictures of the floor?" "..Those are meant to be selfies, I guess my camera must be broken." "Dude, I am all for you expressing your religious beliefs, but could you not wear your crucifix when I'm around? It really bugs me for some reason." stealing-your-wife "Have you ever noticed how cute bat:s are? like really noticed? sweet lil balls of fluff with wings man." nickthepigeon "I want to sleep in a coffin...ya kno, for like... aesthetic" cipollakate "What's with your thing about necks lately?" "MUST YOU KINKSHAME ME IN MY OWN HOME" nightrhain "I looked up my symptoms on WebMD, and it says I have cancer." samwise-the-true-hero This last addition made the reblog obligatory. This one wins 935,331 notesD Tailor Automatic Screenshot Stitching Vampire?
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Apparently, Confused, and Family: Rock Apparently Factors Into Girlfriend's Shower Routine NEWS Local Relationships ISSUE 49-29 Jul 16, 2013 23 Jacob Ferris, 25, has no idea what his girlfriend Sarah uses this rock in her shower for rubitrightintomyeyes: theonion: Rock Apparently Factors Into Girlfriend’s Shower Routine SEATTLE—Saying he was confused about the full extent of its purpose as well as its overall benefit, local man Jacob Ferris, 25, nonetheless surmised today that the oblong rock located in girlfriend Sarah Milstein’s shower caddy must somehow factor into her bathing routine, sources confirmed. “I guess at some point while she’s showering, she rubs a rock on her body,” said Ferris, expressing what he claimed was “the only possible conclusion” about the light-gray rock in his girlfriend’s bathroom. “I mean, it looks sort of nice, so she could just have it there for decoration or something. But it’s usually right near all the other soaps and her loofah, so I think it’s probably something she actually uses while under the water.” “I really don’t know how it all works,” Ferris added. “All I know is that in between Sarah getting into the shower and getting out, there’s a rock involved.” Ferris, who said he was unable to determine exactly when in the showering process the rock first comes into play, told reporters he is equally clueless about what part of the body the rock is used on. In addition, Ferris said he occasionally inspects the roughly 3-ounce object when he’s in Milstein’s shower, and told reporters that the rock is nearly always wet and is occasionally moved to slightly different spots within the bathtub, leading him to believe that his girlfriend uses it fairly regularly. He also noted his girlfriend’s bathing time never seems particularly longer than the average person’s considering she has added a rock into the mix. Ferris added that all attempts to incorporate the rock into his own shower routine have ultimately been unsuccessful. “I tried rubbing it on my skin once, and it hurt,” Ferris said, concluding that pouring soap and water directly onto the rock neither made it softer nor easier on his skin. “I could maybe see how it could get some dirt off of your body, but it seems too painful to work. Her skin usually looks nice though, so maybe I’m wrong.” “There is a chance it could be a hair thing,” Ferris continued. “Maybe she rubs the rock in her hair? I don’t know.” Ferris confirmed he has considered numerous reasons for why his girlfriend uses the rock in the shower, including that she has some type of skin condition, that the rock is some sort of weird tradition her family has, or that everyone uses rocks in the shower and he has been out of the loop the entire time. “It could be for cleaning the bathtub,” said Ferris, adding he once suspected the rock was a device for making the bathroom smell nice, but then noticed it had no discernible smell whatsoever. “Like every few weekends she scrubs the tub with this rock? I guess I could see Sarah doing that.” While Ferris said he is mostly certain that the rock was initially purchased at a home goods store of some kind, he was not able to completely rule out the possibility it was just a rock that his girlfriend found on the ground and decided to put in her shower. “I wonder if I should put a rock in my shower for when she’s over here,” said Ferris, who said he once tried to locate a rock at a Bed Bath Beyond, but left after not wanting to walk up to a sales clerk and ask them where they kept their “shower rocks.” “Or I could just tell her to leave a rock at my place if she wants.” “I’m probably not going to do that,” Ferris added. At press time, a visibly perplexed Ferris had seen the rock sitting in Milstein’s trashcan and then looked in the shower to see another rock sitting in its place.

rubitrightintomyeyes: theonion: Rock Apparently Factors Into Girlfriend’s Shower Routine SEATTLE—Saying he was confused about the full ext...

Save