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College, Dank, and Fucking: nicejewishguy Wtf is sephora sounds scary elasticlove isn't that the guy with the long white hair from final fantasy venatus no your thinking of sephiroth, sephora is an angel belonging to the highest order of angels punlich No you're thinking of a Seraph A sephora is a second year college or high school student one-eyed-pom No, you're thinking of sophomore. A sephora is when you use your phone to take a picture of yourself. lethalneuroses no, you're thinking of a selfie. a sephora is a calm breeze. waffle-sorter No, you're thinking of a zephyr. A sephora is one of those Greek vases with the two handles and the pictures. leeshajoy You're thinking of an amphora. Sephora is the web browser you have to use on iOS devices. animatedamerican You're thinking of Safari. Sephora is an informal term for the seven-week period of counting the days between Pesach and Shavuot in the Jewish calendar. 54hhertzof You're thinking of Sefiras. Sephora is a bright blue gemstone best known for combining with Ruby to create Garnet and lead the Crystal Gems, training Pokemon, and/ or assisting Steel to fight against time's intrusions into our realm. rareandradiant-maiden No, you're thinking of sapphire. Sephora is ac- tually a part of a flower; it protects the flower in bud and supports the petals in bloom. jewishdragon No, you're thinking of sepal. Sephora is the wife of Moses, who lead the Israelites people out of Egypt osheamobile No, you're thinking of Tzipporah. Sephora was an ancient Greek poet who inspired a lot of lady-lovin princelesscomic No, you're thinking of Sappho. Sephora is the youngest of the five Marx brothers optimysticals No, you're thinking of Zeppo. Sephora is the Heimdall's sister flatbear No no no guys, you're thinking of Sif. Sephora s a venereal disease that turns your brain to swiss cheese, going so far as to destroy external features like the nose. Famous gangster Al Capone suffered from sephora. corruptinnocent No, you're thinking of syphilis. Sephora is that radiant feeling you get when you have found perfect peace and happiness. mettatonsbutt No, you're thinking of euphoria. Sephora's a fucking makeup store you dipshits. What is Sephora? by Insomniac-Bunny MORE MEMES
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College, Fucking, and Makeup: nicejewishguy Wtf is sephora sounds scary elasticlove isn't that the guy with the long white hair from final fantasy venatus no your thinking of sephiroth, sephora is an angel belonging to the highest order of angels punlich No you're thinking of a Seraph A sephora is a second year college or high school student one-eyed-pom No, you're thinking of sophomore. A sephora is when you use your phone to take a picture of yourself. lethalneuroses no, you're thinking of a selfie. a sephora is a calm breeze. waffle-sorter No, you're thinking of a zephyr. A sephora is one of those Greek vases with the two handles and the pictures. leeshajoy You're thinking of an amphora. Sephora is the web browser you have to use on iOS devices. animatedamerican You're thinking of Safari. Sephora is an informal term for the seven-week period of counting the days between Pesach and Shavuot in the Jewish calendar. 54hhertzof You're thinking of Sefiras. Sephora is a bright blue gemstone best known for combining with Ruby to create Garnet and lead the Crystal Gems, training Pokemon, and/ or assisting Steel to fight against time's intrusions into our realm. rareandradiant-maiden No, you're thinking of sapphire. Sephora is ac- tually a part of a flower; it protects the flower in bud and supports the petals in bloom. jewishdragon No, you're thinking of sepal. Sephora is the wife of Moses, who lead the Israelites people out of Egypt osheamobile No, you're thinking of Tzipporah. Sephora was an ancient Greek poet who inspired a lot of lady-lovin princelesscomic No, you're thinking of Sappho. Sephora is the youngest of the five Marx brothers optimysticals No, you're thinking of Zeppo. Sephora is the Heimdall's sister flatbear No no no guys, you're thinking of Sif. Sephora s a venereal disease that turns your brain to swiss cheese, going so far as to destroy external features like the nose. Famous gangster Al Capone suffered from sephora. corruptinnocent No, you're thinking of syphilis. Sephora is that radiant feeling you get when you have found perfect peace and happiness. mettatonsbutt No, you're thinking of euphoria. Sephora's a fucking makeup store you dipshits. What is Sephora? via /r/memes https://ift.tt/2YlOTog
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Books, Fanfiction, and Nerd: tainment FIGHT ME Choi Hyorin a Nerd always got bullied by BTS especially the youngest … #fanfiction #Fanfiction #amreading #books #wattpad

Choi Hyorin a Nerd always got bullied by BTS especially the youngest … #fanfiction #Fanfiction #amreading #books #wattpad

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Baked, Dad, and Fail: So my mom told me a story... theguilteaparty Growing up, my mom and her siblings would make banana bread every week Literally every week since the first one of them leamed how to make it, they started making banana bread- lo and behold though, they liked it with walnuts and they all knew their dad hated walnuts So they made a special loaf of banana bread just for him every week, just for him to eat Nobody else was allowed to eat it because that was his banana bread, baked especially for him So anyways, they did this once a week from middle school up until every last one of them moved out of the house (and considering there was at least 10 years difference from the oldest to the youngest, this was quite some time) So that's like... 16 years of weekly banana bread. And he always finished it He, without fail, ate the whole loaf of bread by himself That's approximately 835 loaves of banana bread. Now Skip ahead a few years and they're all visiting and baking banana bread and they start making a dad's bread and their mom comes in, "I don't think he can handle eating one more slice of banana breadl What are you talking about? He loves banana breadl He had it all the timel This is when my grandma, their mom, broke the news that my grandfather loathed banana bread with every fiber of his being, He just adored that his kids loved him enough to make him a special loaf of banana bread every week (and he didnt have the heart to tell them that he couldnt stand banana bread) and he was incredibly, utterly upset that my grandma tokd the kids his big secret My grandfather was a loving, patent, gentle man who absolutely hated banana bread but loved his kids so much more and I just wanted to share that with you guys. I think this story is just about the perfect example of the kind of person he was I’ve read this story a thousand times and it still makes me cry. I’m gonna go hug my grandparents via /r/wholesomememes http://bit.ly/2WZFNwz

I’ve read this story a thousand times and it still makes me cry. I’m gonna go hug my grandparents via /r/wholesomememes http://bit.ly/2WZFNw...

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Baked, Dad, and Fail: So my mom told me a story... theguilteaparty Growing up, my mom and her siblings would make banana bread every week Literally every week since the first one of them leamed how to make it, they started making banana bread- lo and behold though, they liked it with walnuts and they all knew their dad hated walnuts So they made a special loaf of banana bread just for him every week, just for him to eat Nobody else was allowed to eat it because that was his banana bread, baked especially for him So anyways, they did this once a week from middle school up until every last one of them moved out of the house (and considering there was at least 10 years difference from the oldest to the youngest, this was quite some time) So that's like... 16 years of weekly banana bread. And he always finished it He, without fail, ate the whole loaf of bread by himself That's approximately 835 loaves of banana bread. Now Skip ahead a few years and they're all visiting and baking banana bread and they start making a dad's bread and their mom comes in, "I don't think he can handle eating one more slice of banana breadl What are you talking about? He loves banana breadl He had it all the timel This is when my grandma, their mom, broke the news that my grandfather loathed banana bread with every fiber of his being, He just adored that his kids loved him enough to make him a special loaf of banana bread every week (and he didnt have the heart to tell them that he couldnt stand banana bread) and he was incredibly, utterly upset that my grandma tokd the kids his big secret My grandfather was a loving, patent, gentle man who absolutely hated banana bread but loved his kids so much more and I just wanted to share that with you guys. I think this story is just about the perfect example of the kind of person he was I’ve read this story a thousand times and it still makes me cry. I’m gonna go hug my grandparents

I’ve read this story a thousand times and it still makes me cry. I’m gonna go hug my grandparents

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Alive, Beard, and Children: feniczoroark: minority-cubed: princemetalthunder: skrill-cosby: drucila616: How Do Court Reporters Keep Straight Faces?These are from a book called Disorder in the Courts and are things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and published by court reporters that had the torment of staying calm while the exchanges were taking place.ATTORNEY: What was the first thing your husband said to you that morning?WITNESS: He said, ‘Where am I, Cathy?’ATTORNEY: And why did that upset you?WITNESS: My name is Susan!_______________________________ATTORNEY: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?WITNESS: Gucci sweats and Reeboks.____________________________________________ATTORNEY: Are you sexually active?WITNESS: No, I just lie there.____________________________________________ATTORNEY: What is your date of birth?WITNESS: July 18th.ATTORNEY: What year?WITNESS: Every year._____________________________________ATTORNEY: How old is your son, the one living with you?WITNESS: Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can’t remember which.ATTORNEY: How long has he lived with you?WITNESS: Forty-five years._________________________________ATTORNEY: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all?WITNESS: Yes.ATTORNEY: And in what ways does it affect your memory?WITNESS: I forget..ATTORNEY: You forget? Can you give us an example of something you forgot?___________________________________________ATTORNEY: Now doctor, isn’t it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn’t know about it until the next morning?WITNESS: Did you actually pass the bar exam?____________________________________ATTORNEY: The youngest son, the 20-year-old, how old is he?WITNESS: He’s 20, much like your IQ.___________________________________________ATTORNEY: Were you present when your picture was taken?WITNESS: Are you shitting me?_________________________________________ATTORNEY: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?WITNESS: Yes.ATTORNEY: And what were you doing at that time?WITNESS: Getting laid____________________________________________ATTORNEY: She had three children , right?WITNESS: Yes.ATTORNEY: How many were boys?WITNESS: None.ATTORNEY: Were there any girls?WITNESS: Your Honor, I think I need a different attorney. Can I get a new attorney?____________________________________________ATTORNEY: How was your first marriage terminated?WITNESS: By death..ATTORNEY: And by whose death was it terminated?WITNESS: Take a guess.___________________________________________ATTORNEY: Can you describe the individual?WITNESS: He was about medium height and had a beardATTORNEY: Was this a male or a female?WITNESS: Unless the Circus was in town I’m going with male._____________________________________ATTORNEY: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney?WITNESS: No, this is how I dress when I go to work.______________________________________ATTORNEY: Doctor , how many of your autopsies have you performed on dead people?WITNESS: All of them. The live ones put up too much of a fight._________________________________________ATTORNEY: ALL your responses MUST be oral, OK? What school did you go to?WITNESS: Oral…_________________________________________ATTORNEY: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?WITNESS: The autopsy started around 8:30 PMATTORNEY: And Mr. Denton was dead at the time?WITNESS: If not, he was by the time I finished.____________________________________________ATTORNEY: Are you qualified to give a urine sample?WITNESS: Are you qualified to ask that question?______________________________________And last:ATTORNEY: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?WITNESS: No.ATTORNEY: Did you check for blood pressure?WITNESS: No.ATTORNEY: Did you check for breathing?WITNESS: No..ATTORNEY: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?WITNESS: No.ATTORNEY: How can you be so sure, Doctor?WITNESS: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.ATTORNEY: I see, but could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless?WITNESS: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law. oh my god these are great fuck this is like reading a jokes and not actual quotes The last one is how I feel about all my schoolmates I can feel the frustration
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Beautiful, Cars, and Friday: When gunman advanced on New Zealand mosque, this man ran at him Abdul Aziz, 48, is being hailed as a hero for preventing more deaths The Associated Press Posted: Mar 16, 2019 6:54 AM ET Last Updated: an hour ago Abdul Aziz, 48, is being hailed as a hero for preventing more deaths during Friday prayers at the Linwood mosque in Christchurch. (Vincent Thian/Associated Press) solacekames: When the gunman advanced toward the mosque, killing those in his path, Abdul Aziz didn’t hide. Instead, he picked up the first thing he could find, a credit card machine, and ran outside screaming “Come here!” Aziz, 48, is being hailed as a hero for preventing more deaths during Friday prayers at the Linwood mosque in Christchurch after leading the gunman in a cat-and-mouse chase before scaring him into speeding away in his car. But Aziz, whose four sons and dozens of others remained in the mosque while he faced off with the gunman, said he thinks it’s what anyone would have done. The gunman killed 49 people after attacking two mosques in the deadliest mass shooting in New Zealand’s modern history. […] He said he could hear his two youngest sons, aged 11 and 5, urging him to come back inside. The gunman returned, firing. Aziz said he ran, weaving through cars parked in the driveway, which prevented the gunman from getting a clean shot. Then Aziz spotted a gun the gunman had abandoned and picked it up, pointed it and squeezed the trigger. It was empty. He said the gunman ran back to the car for a second time, likely to grab yet another weapon. “He gets into his car and I just got the gun and threw it on his window like an arrow and blasted his window,” he said. The windshield shattered: “That’s why he got scared.” He said the gunman was cursing at him, yelling that he was going to kill them all. But he drove away and Aziz said he chased the car down the street to a red light, before it made a U-turn and sped away. Online videos indicate police officers managed to force the car from the road and drag out the suspect soon after. Originally from Kabul, Afghanistan, Aziz said he left as a refugee when he was a boy and lived for more than 25 years in Australia before moving to New Zealand a couple of years ago.“I’ve been to a lot of countries and this is one of the beautiful ones,” he said. And, he always thought, a peaceful one as well. Aziz said he didn’t feel fear or much of anything when facing the gunman. It was like he was on autopilot. And he believes that Allah didn’t think it was his time to die.

solacekames: When the gunman advanced toward the mosque, killing those in his path, Abdul Aziz didn’t hide. Instead, he picked up the first ...

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