Bit
Bit

Bit

Second
Second

Second

The
The

The

Laughs
Laughs

Laughs

I Love
I Love

I Love

Take This
Take This

Take This

Yeet
Yeet

Yeet

And
And

And

Reveals
Reveals

Reveals

Nervously
Nervously

Nervously

🔥 | Latest

Anaconda, Bad, and God: tell YOU a Story Once there w3s a man who lived alone"A Hnd one evenin All m rhy he mode o prayer. I have been Your Servant LORD Az tomato-bird If it is witin Your I lour will And if may be So boldo 2 ask, , Please rant me the V sight o Tsaish and Eziekiel If only for onlq tor a moment Let me be 3 withess t of al the crestures ih Heaven Eorth and Hades, STo the most subime ^ 2 and temjing of Your Creations! bi And God said-And Cod said And God sd nd G od Sald- m sorry tomato-bird ugh Looks like theres nothing here กา At lcast Nothing worth takin; anyway tomato-bird zappuellightninrod: tomato-bird: “The Witness” by Taylor Leong (2018) [read my comics]  Bonus below: Keep reading Oooh. Took me a few reads to 100% get it,but now that I do, that is tragic. One thing that I like, and I’m not sure if this was intentional, are the three responses God gives to the man. Might be reading a little too deep into this, but I think each of the responses are form a different part of the Holy Trinity. “SO BE IT.” is coming from the Holy Spirit, who is merely answering the prayer with a yes. He fully well knows what’s about to happen, but is obviously looking at it with a different set of logic then the other two sides. Not inherently bad logic, because form the Holy Spirit’s perspective death truly does not exist. “you will.” is coming from God the Father, who says nothing more then that. just a simple phrase of what’s to come. But it can be read in multiple tones, a simple blanket statement, or in an apologetic tone. (Or if you’re a jackass who looks at God as the bad guy, then ominously.) I’m personally interpreting it in the apologetic tone. “I’m sorry.” is coming from God the Son, AKA Jesus Christ, who’s apologizing for what’s about to happen to him. He’s the one out of the three of them who knows what it;’s like to be mortal, and the most down to earth. He knows what’s beyond the grave, but He also knows what’s about to be lost. I’m probably looking way to deep into this, but it’s just what I took away from it., That’s a very good interpretation and I like it, but I’m slightly more ridiculous note this is how I first saw this post:

zappuellightninrod: tomato-bird: “The Witness” by Taylor Leong (2018) [read my comics]  Bonus below: Keep reading Oooh. Took me a few read...

Beard, Bless Up, and Bruh: Dog is so friendly and gentle to his tiny piggy @DrSmashlove Say Bruh u know how Twitter users wil out and do Unpopular Opinions? 😂 I’m always jealous because I don’t have a twitter so I can’t twit. But today imma insta my unpopular opinion and y’all can respond. Imma even help y’all with ya responses 😂. Ok? Deal? Here go. Smash’s Friday Afternoon Argumentative Unpopular Opinion: if u eat pork but not dog meat u a hippocrip PROVE ME WRONG 😂❤️. Potential reply No. 1: “easy for u smash ol muslim lookin a$$ ol ramadan Mubarak lookin a$$ ol grow a beard to look righteous but we know u struggle with demons like the rest of us lookin a$$ ol fake woke lookin a$$ is u even a male lookin a$$ or is u a female English PhD catfishing us lookin a$$. Not een a minority lookin a$$. Probably pakistanian lookin a$$ I KNOW U PAKISTANI EEN THO U SAID U AINT LOOKIN A$$. STOP LYIN OSMAN. Lookin a$$. Anyway lookin a$$ that’s easy for u to say! U CANT eat pork! If u could, u would - same way u eat chicken! Arbitrarily line drawing lookin a$$ STOP IT. BEEN WANTING TO SAY ALL THIS TO YA LOOKIN A$$. U DA REAL HIPPOCRIP LOOKIN A$$ ‘bless up 😊’ HAPPY GO LUCKY ALWAYS SMILING LOOKIN A$$ WHAT U SO HAPPY ABOUT SMASH LOW KEY U GET ON MY NERVES BUT I LIKE DOGS SO I STAY FOLLOWING LOOKIN A$$. AND MY FRIENDS THINK U FUNNY BUT I KNOW U A FRAUD LOOKIN A$$ IF 👏 U 👏 LOVED 👏 DOGS 👏 SO 👏 MUCH 👏 U 👏 WOULD 👏 HAVE 👏 A 👏 DOG 👏 LOOKIN 👏 A$$ 👏. Wait do he got a dog? 🤔 PAKISTANIANS AIN GOT DOGS AND HE GOTTA BE PAKISTANIAN WITH HIS LOOKIN A$$ SO IMMA SAY NO - or he a woman? Women love dogs 🤔 aye either way if he was $exy he would post a pic he probably a mutant WITH HIS LOOKIN 👏 A$$ 👏. (How’d I do? Bless up 😂❤️😍)

Say Bruh u know how Twitter users wil out and do Unpopular Opinions? 😂 I’m always jealous because I don’t have a twitter so I can’t twit. Bu...

Bill Clinton, Bitch, and Driving: l Verizon 5:49 PM 0 * 42% whats-an-egg / safety-offcer-barto Salt and Pepper Diner is John Mulaney's funniest bit" is Xanax/Prostate Exam erasure and I will not stand for it officialqueer The overlooking of "The One Thing You Can't Replace" is a criminal act. jewishdragon LISTEN, I WAS JUST WATCHING JOHN MULANEY AND I RAISE YOU DUCKLINGS! bisexualgambit HOW COULD YOU NOT SAY DELTA AIRLINES???? kurtwagnermorelikekurtwagnerd Bill Clinton Never Forgets A Bitch, Ever safety-officer-barto The responses to this post have been so amazing because it's reminded me, and I'm sure many others, of just how many hilarious bits John Mulaney has other than s&pd incendiarysongbird okay, but eighth graders doorstoplord could be a nursery awesomealfry being 12 years old on anotger continent is a great alibi starry-nightengale "Why buy the cow, question mark?" gadgethewolf THAT TALL CHILD LOOKS TERRIBLE apartmentofstabs And then. He ordered one black coffee for himself And kept driving spectralbarbhollano LOOK AT THAT HIGH WAISTED MAN, HE GOT FEMININE HIPS silly-slacker-person "We gon play jacks down at the soda fountain" NOBODY KNOWS WHAT YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT YOU IDIOT Y'know, how you talk to your grandma? ghettoinuyasha hello? HUSH bakvvas Eat assy buck a dick, and bell druugs mellowstarscape THEREISAHORSE LOOSE INTHE HOSTPITAL Source: safety-officer-barto 82,341 notes > anduinsholydick Tailor Automatic Screenshot Stitching I’m sorry but there is a Norwegian cruise liner leaving for Martinique and my plan is we both get very dressed up, including hats

I’m sorry but there is a Norwegian cruise liner leaving for Martinique and my plan is we both get very dressed up, including hats

Comfortable, Instagram, and Makeup: BRIGHTJOON'S ERASER MUSTARD 3121 GIVEAWAY <p><a href="http://brightjoon.tumblr.com/post/175388608486/as-some-of-you-know-i-recently-went-on-a-month" class="tumblr_blog">brightjoon</a>:</p> <blockquote><p>as some of you know, i recently went on a month long trip to china/korea in june, so i picked up some bt21/bts items for a giveaway! <b>THERE WILL BE TWO WINNERS</b> and the packages you can win are:</p> <h2><b>YOUNG FOREVER/album package</b></h2> <ul><li>one (1) copy of YOUNG FOREVER NIGHT VER. including 2 CDs, 1 polaroid photocard, photobook, and folded poster<br/></li> <ul><li>if you already have this album, you may choose any other BTS album to replace it with</li></ul><li>one (1) bt21 CHIMMY folder</li> <li>one (1) roll of COOKY washi tape</li> <li>one (1) sheet of bt21 RJ “point” face mask</li> <li>set of mystery BTS photocards</li> </ul><figure data-orig-width="1080" data-orig-height="824" class="tmblr-full"><img src="https://78.media.tumblr.com/b5b47e89f148611c83aa99507409db57/tumblr_inline_pb2lw93dzU1uad2vj_540.jpg" alt="image" data-orig-width="1080" data-orig-height="824"/></figure><h2><b>FACE CARE package</b></h2> <ul><li>one (1) bt21 COOKY + SHOOKY folder<br/></li> <li>one (1) roll of SHOOKY washi tape</li> <li>set of 30 seokjin solo photocards</li> <li>one (1) sheet of bt21 RJ “point” face mask<br/></li> <li>two (2) innisfree sheet masks (bija, strawberry)</li> <li>one (1) etude house “blooming floral” silky hair oil sample</li> <li>one (1) etude house makeup remover sheet</li> <li>one (1) etude house sheet mask (olive)</li> <li>one (1) nature republic sheet mask (aloe)</li> </ul><figure data-orig-width="1082" data-orig-height="826" class="tmblr-full"><img src="https://78.media.tumblr.com/2ec5d0747435ac8e71381fcfd5eca92b/tumblr_inline_pb2lwh3Wp91uad2vj_540.jpg" alt="image" data-orig-width="1082" data-orig-height="826"/></figure><p><i>(sorry there aren’t any mang or koya items, as the merch i bought for hyung characters in kr are now swallowed up by my big hyung loving heart)</i></p> <h2><b>RULES</b></h2> <h2><b>❗️❗️❗️NO SOLO OR OT6/OT5/OT3/ETC STANS MAY WIN THIS GIVEAWAY ❗️❗️❗️</b></h2> <ul><li>this giveaway is <b>open to both main blogs and sideblogs</b> </li></ul><ul><ul><li>content must mostly be bts, as this is a bts/bt21 giveaway!</li></ul></ul><ul><li> <b>must be following me</b> on tumblr as this is meant for my followers n mutuals.</li> <ul><li> <i>optional</i>: <a href="https://www.instagram.com/jess.pava/">check out my instagram!</a> </li></ul><li><b>reblog this post</b></li> <li> <b><a href="https://jesspava.typeform.com/to/Y88J2L">complete this typeform</a></b><br/></li> <ul><li>remember to reblog the original post &amp; fill out this form completely or your submission/application number will not be generated.</li></ul><li>giveaway ends <b>july 15th 6pm PST</b><br/></li> <ul><li>upon closing, typeform will randomly choose TWO responses to this survey, which means i am not responsible for picking the winners. this is the fairest way for me to run the giveaway.</li></ul><li>i will privately message both winners via tumblr and email asking for an <b>address</b> and <b>postage name (MUST be first and last)</b>. therefore, <b>you must be over 18 to enter</b> or comfortable sharing this information with me.<br/></li> <ul><li>if the first two winners do not reply within 48 hours of the giveaway ending, i will choose new winners</li></ul><li>the giveaway is <b>open internationally</b> </li> <li>don’t hesitate to message me w any questions you have!<br/></li> </ul><p>additional pictures of products below</p> <p><a href="http://brightjoon.tumblr.com/post/175388608486/as-some-of-you-know-i-recently-went-on-a-month" class="tmblr-truncated-link read_more">Keep reading</a></p></blockquote>

<p><a href="http://brightjoon.tumblr.com/post/175388608486/as-some-of-you-know-i-recently-went-on-a-month" class="tumblr_blog">brightjoon</a...

Dating, Friends, and Gucci: 32m I've seen it with my own eyes, women are very shallow. I'm short, ugly, and broke so l dont date but my good looking friends get the hottest women and the most women. geee I wonder why VoteReply 25m . Have you considered that the r.. 19m How many short, ugly, broke women have you asked out? 3Reply 8m why would I do that Vote Reply <p><a href="http://candiikismet.tumblr.com/post/161964122616/karadin-anti-capitalistlesbianwitch" class="tumblr_blog">candiikismet</a>:</p> <blockquote><p><a href="http://karadin.tumblr.com/post/161962781063/anti-capitalistlesbianwitch-its-mustard-gucci" class="tumblr_blog">karadin</a>:</p> <blockquote><p><a href="https://anti-capitalistlesbianwitch.tumblr.com/post/161962201901/its-mustard-gucci-justneckbeardthings" class="tumblr_blog">anti-capitalistlesbianwitch</a>:</p><blockquote> <p><a href="http://its-mustard-gucci.tumblr.com/post/161911741753/justneckbeardthings-lmaooooooooooooooo" class="tumblr_blog">its-mustard-gucci</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a href="http://justneckbeardthings.tumblr.com/post/161887312339" class="tumblr_blog">justneckbeardthings</a>:</p> <blockquote><p>🤔</p></blockquote> <p>LMAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO</p> </blockquote> <p>I mean, really.</p> </blockquote> <p>They did a ‘test’ where women and men agreed to meet up for a date online, but the subjects would have images on their dating profiles of models (people not themselves) </p><p>Every time a man showed up for the date, saw the woman didn’t match the picture, he just turned around and left. </p><p>When women showed up to the date, they still greeted the man, sat down and had lunch, and sometimes the male partner even got a kiss goodbye. That should tell you everything you need to know about men and women and appearance.</p></blockquote> <p>That’s interesting.</p></blockquote> <p>Actually what it is it’s total bullshit. Those videos were heavily edited and I’m quite sure they took out all the unkind female responses and all the nicer male responses. Showing someone’s disappointment at being directly lied to is hardly proof of that shallow they are. Speaking as a woman I can say firsthand that women can be shallow as fuck. Stop with the bullshit generalizations.</p>

<p><a href="http://candiikismet.tumblr.com/post/161964122616/karadin-anti-capitalistlesbianwitch" class="tumblr_blog">candiikismet</a>:</p> ...

College, Fake, and Food: Patricia Heaton @PatriciaHeaton Follow If @benshapiro is a fake jew, why does he not show up at my Sat nite dinner party until after sunrise & refuse to eat my non-kosher food? Tariq Nasheed@tariqnasheed Suspected white supremacist Ben Shapiro, who tries to mask his racist rhetoric by claiming to be jewish, is in Berkeley now #BenAtBerkeley 8:35 PM - 14 Sep 2017 1,067 Retweets 5,308 Likes 284 1.1 5.3K Patricia Heaton@PatriciaHeaton Sep 14 Haven't heard such comments. Would it be telling that I serve on the board of @JrPosseORG & provide college scholarships to black students? Tariq Nasheed@tariqnasheed Replying to @PatriciaHeaton @benshapiro Ms. Heaton, the fact that I can't find any tweets where you are denouncing Ben's disgustingly anti-Black rhetoric, is very telling 46 tl 66 496 Patricia Heaton @PatriciaHeaton - Sep 14 Oh my. Never mind. I see there is no chance of having a thoughtful discussion. Blessings to you. Tariq Nasheed@tariqnasheed Replying to @PatriciaHeaton @JrPosseORG Ma'am, just because you work at a charity that gives Black victims of white supremacy a few crumbs, that doesn't excuse you defending racism 296 th 478 3.0K <p><a href="http://peccatopotpourri.tumblr.com/post/165603731757/siryouarebeingmocked-triggeredmedia-you-have" class="tumblr_blog">peccatopotpourri</a>:</p> <blockquote><p><a href="http://siryouarebeingmocked.tumblr.com/post/165601702155/triggeredmedia-you-have-to-denounce-who-we-tell" class="tumblr_blog">siryouarebeingmocked</a>:</p><blockquote> <p><a href="https://triggeredmedia.tumblr.com/post/165476242292/you-have-to-denounce-who-we-tell-you-to-or-else" class="tumblr_blog">triggeredmedia</a>:</p> <blockquote><p>“You have to denounce who we tell you to or else you are also a white supremacist.”<br/></p></blockquote> <p><b>Tariq</b>: Ben Shapiro is a fake Jew.<br/><b>Patricia Heaton</b>: Then why does he act like a real Jew?<br/><b>Tariq</b>: Why aren’t you decrying his anti-black comments?<br/><b>Heaton</b>: I don’t know any comments like that.<br/><b>Tariq</b>: Why are you defending racism?<br/><b>Heaton</b>: I’m done.</p> <figure class="tmblr-full" data-orig-height="489" data-orig-width="684"><img src="https://78.media.tumblr.com/f2a331b7b3f82dc762105ccf02d0ccfa/tumblr_inline_owhj03Xwrw1sps4wz_540.jpg" data-orig-height="489" data-orig-width="684"/></figure><figure class="tmblr-full" data-orig-height="329" data-orig-width="616"><img src="https://78.media.tumblr.com/5f61218af46438de78292fe49de9427c/tumblr_inline_owhj0tu7ZJ1sps4wz_540.jpg" data-orig-height="329" data-orig-width="616"/></figure><p>Why am I not suprised Tariq couldn’t back up a single thing he actually said, and descended to <b>buzzwords</b> and personal attacks? </p> <figure class="tmblr-full" data-orig-height="409" data-orig-width="585"><img src="https://78.media.tumblr.com/36be90963d0d43c987c0ef1737e8e491/tumblr_inline_owhiwuX7ik1sps4wz_540.jpg" data-orig-height="409" data-orig-width="585"/></figure><figure class="tmblr-full" data-orig-height="519" data-orig-width="584"><img src="https://78.media.tumblr.com/72c0a0266cb44d95ed979e7fc81b4453/tumblr_inline_owhiz05dJB1sps4wz_540.jpg" data-orig-height="519" data-orig-width="584"/></figure><p>Also, we’re not supposed to defend “suspected white supremacists” now. I’d bet money Tariq only threw “suspected” in there so he doesn’t get sued. Or to give him wriggle-room in case he’s wrong.</p> <p>Oh, wait, he never admits he’s wrong.</p> <p><a href="https://twitter.com/PatriciaHeaton/status/908540818390097920">The responses are full of some cheering stuff, tho</a>.</p> <figure class="tmblr-full" data-orig-height="464" data-orig-width="588"><img src="https://78.media.tumblr.com/2c7491762f3f3879c1a0688afecff263/tumblr_inline_owhj8zQHmJ1sps4wz_540.jpg" data-orig-height="464" data-orig-width="588"/></figure><p>Compton Jr Posse isn’t just “crumbs”, BTW. It’s a charity for “Keeping Kids ON Horses and OFF the Streets”.</p> </blockquote> <p>This is hilarious, it’s fun watching tariq humiliate himself</p></blockquote> <p>Patricia Heaton is awesome and Tariq is garbage. What else is new.</p>

<p><a href="http://peccatopotpourri.tumblr.com/post/165603731757/siryouarebeingmocked-triggeredmedia-you-have" class="tumblr_blog">peccatopo...

Anaconda, Assassination, and Bad: THE DAILY The Daily Beast @thedailybeast * Follow BEAST Are video games breeding an assassination generation? thebea.st/2fonStR RESIDENT EVL MORTAL KOMBAT X Violent Crimes per 1oo,ooo US Inhabitants, 1994 to 2013 800- 700- 600- 500 400 Souree: Department of Justice Carpe Diem Blog 1994 1996 1998 2000 2002 2004 2006 2008 2010 2012 2014 Murder Rate Per 100,000 Persons USA, 1957-2011 n 12 10 2 6 4 P 2. Source: FBI Uniform CrimeReport Year © 2012, Michael W. Kruse Arrests per 100,000 juveniles ages 10-17,1980-2014 600 T Violent Crime Index 500 400 300 200 100 1980 82 84 86 88 90 92 94 96 98 00 02 04 06 08 10 12 14 HOMICIDE RATES IN THE US AND ENGLAND 1967-2013, AND THE WORLD, 2003-2012 UNITED STATES WORLD ENGLAND 965 1970 าร75 1980 985 1995 2010 Sources: U.S. FBI Uniform Crime Reports. England (including Wales): U.K. Office for National Statistics. World U.N. Office on Drugs and Crime, reported in UN. Economic and Social Council's "World crime trends and emerg ing issues and responses in the field of crime prevention and social justice," Feb. 12, 2014, Figure 1. The percentages were converted to homicide rates by setting the 2012 rate at 62, the figure reported in the UNODC Global Study on Homicide 2013, Page 12. <p><a href="http://loltaku.tumblr.com/post/153351355144/hurf-durf-technology-is-bad-thomas-edison-is-a" class="tumblr_blog">loltaku</a>:</p> <blockquote><p>hurf durf technology is bad thomas edison is a witch</p></blockquote>

<p><a href="http://loltaku.tumblr.com/post/153351355144/hurf-durf-technology-is-bad-thomas-edison-is-a" class="tumblr_blog">loltaku</a>:</p>...